jones, jessica alana

[Deleted]

full name jessica alana jones (née johnson) date of birth 12.05.90 (24) home town san francisco, california. current city los angeles, california. education usc '11. public relations major. occupation pr @ stone cold fox. ________________________________________ Embarrassing wasn’t one of the words I heard at school that next Monday, but it was much more that than anything else. Girls were mean about it, guys were gross. And when I should have been excited I was mortified. It was two months into our first semester of the new year, and here I was pegged as the biggest slut in the school. I should have listened to my dad when he tried telling me not to wear that shirt, but what sixteen year old wouldn’t hide it in her purse and change when she got there? It was inappropriate, thinking about it now. It was the game against the rivals from SoCal, ESPN was there tapping it for their web series on high school football. And there I was, in the wrong place at the wrong time, iced water spilled all over my already too small white t-shirt, and the ESPN camera’s coming right my way. Alan Wright was in the stands, the name meant nothing to me until he was pacing through the bleachers looking for the girl in the wet t-shirt. Three weeks later and I was auditioning for the new show he was casting for. Another month in and I was back and forth between San Fran and LA filming for what was predicted to be the next big California show. We did well our first two seasons, but when the network was bought out in the third we couldn’t compete with what else we were going against on Thursday nights. I call it a blessing in disguise. It was fun while it lasted.. I got to be treated like I was something big and special, had a hair and make up team, teachers were lenient. But I lost my friends, weekends I should have been at bonfires instead of at the TCA’s, my boyfriend (another blessing in disguise), being seventeen. I wouldn’t have believed anyone if they’d told me freshman year that I’d end up spending the rest of my life with James Jones from homeroom. I hated him from the second I met him.. he reeked of cigarettes, mocked everything I said, made me feel just as dumb as I probably looked in my too short skirt, and was who I thought was the biggest asshole the school had to offer. It’s funny to think about now, when I consider how fast I fell in love with him. I felt like a flip was switched, and there was no turning it off.. I clung to him, in every way possible. Physically, mentally, emotionally, almost right away, with no real rhyme or reason. I was a loner in my own right then, spending all too much time in my head. The one question that always managed to find its way back in was why do you love him? With Parker I’d had all these generic reasons. I liked how he looked, I liked that everyone else liked him, I liked that he was athletic and funny and the way his hair looked after a game. With James I could never pinpoint one good reason. Sure there were 100 generic ones, but one good one was hard, because it came down to much more than one reason. It was everything about him. The parts of him everyone else would have hated turned into the parts I loved and missed most when I wasn’t with him, every bad habit felt endearing after while. That wasn’t to say it was perfect, because it wasn’t, and it isn’t. And I still don’t think I’d believe anyone who told me I’d spend the rest of my life with James Jones from homeroom. But I do believe that he gave me the best thing I never even knew I wanted, and I’ll always love him for her. I should be embarrassed about turning into this person, and everything I’m about to say. But I’ll tell you something I bet you’ve just never heard before! You don’t understand being a mom until you’re a mom. I didn’t enjoy my pregnancy up until the third trimester, I was miserable, through and through. I wanted her out of me and I never wanted to go through it again. Every single morning I woke up wishing I wasn’t pregnant. Half because I’d gained eighteen pounds, half because I was convinced that was the only reason my boyfriend was still with me. We’d picked out names, done all the shopping, had three baby showers, and none of it made me feel any little bit of happiness. It wasn’t until I heard her cry for the first time and held her in my arms that I was happy. It came completely from left field, I didn’t know I could love someone or care about anything other than myself or James that much. Within a minute everything in my world became about her. It didn’t matter what I wanted or what I had to do, everything else came second to her and spending time with her. You should have seen me trying to go back to work! The first day back in the office I broke into hysterics six times, and she was only three miles away at home with my mother-in-law.. needless to say, it hasn’t gotten any easier. So luckily I’ve got a great at home office and a team that loves when I bring her in with me. I just don’t want to miss a thing, you know? I don't think anything is forever anymore, but she is, and I go to sleep easy every night knowing that. WORK ________________________________________ your name lexa play-by tori member group resident