HAYWARD, Archer J.

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Archie James Hayward, born on November 3rd 1984, in Buffalo, NY. Current resident of New York City, though he also owns property in New Jersey and New York State. Archie has limited formal education and earns an income through the supply of illicit substances, though he also owns and runs Duke's, a sports bar that allows him to launder his earnings. "ALL THINGS TRULY WICKED START FROM INNOCENCE." "INSANITY IS RELATIVE. IT DEPENDS ON WHO HAS WHO LOCKED IN WHICH CAGE." • #1 - First and foremost, Archer is my pride and joy. He is my firstborn and I will always love him. When we first met, I thought he was going to be too much for me to handle, but now I think he's my salvation. I would be so much happier if he just got on the straight and narrow, and I think he would be happier if he stopped trying to shield his sister and I from everything. He's too withdrawn, but it's his way. At the end of the day, he's totally selfless, and he'll never let us get hurt. • #2 - First and foremost, Archer is the world's biggest asshole. He is my right hand man and I fucking love him. When we first met, I thought he was a serious tool, but now I think he's even worse. I would be so much happier if he just moved back to Buffalo, and I think he would be happier if he cut all ties with that girl of his. He's too intense, but it's all a front. At the end of the day, he's totally chill, and he'll never leave me hanging. • #3 - First and foremost, Archer is a nightmare. He is my incredibly overprotective big brother and I will always be a little kid to him. When we first met, I thought he was nasty, but now I think he's overbearing as fuck. I would be so much happier if he just let me breathe, and I think he would be happier if he stopped being so paranoid. He's too much, but it's all coming from a good place. At the end of the day, he's totally annoying, and he'll never change, so I love him anyway. "TO AVOID CRITICISM, SAY NOTHING, DO NOTHING, BE NOTHING." 07/04/2001 - SHOULD I DUMP ARCHIE? PROS • Arms. • Loves dogs. • Protective. • Makes me feel safe. • Always smells good. • Amazing kisser. CONS • Gets really jealous. • Paranoid. • Keeps cancelling dates. • Dad doesn't like him. • Trust issues. "THERE IS ADVANTAGE IN THE WISDOM WON FROM PAIN." Words aren't my thing. The more people talk, the more sure I am that they're bullshitting me, so I keep things brief for that reason. But Candy'd be pissed if I summed her up the way I want to - the hottest girl I've ever got to fuck on the regular, that is - so I guess I should try harder.  Candy's a fucking nightmare. Needy. Not in a pathetic way, but she is needy. Gets real pissed when I don't reply fast enough, or when a girl's name flashes up on my cell, that kinda shit. She's even weird about my sister... I guess because it's not a jealous thing, it's more... bratty. She makes it clear that I owe her a considerable amount of my time, but usually I'm happy to give her it. She makes me a little crazy. When she's not around I get these visions of her with some other guy, some asshole getting his grubby hands all over her perfect body... I've made her FaceTime me to prove she's not, but I don't think that's a lot to ask. When she's being good she's the best girl a guy could ask for, lets me be handsy in public and brings me beer. But when she's sulking she can be fucking psychotic. Truth is, I'd probably have been bored of her a long time ago if it weren't for that attitude of hers. She's fucking hot. When I think about what happened, what I let happen... Like I said, words aren't really my thing, so let's just say I levelled the playing field. She'll get over it. "THE ROAD TO HELL IS PAVED WITH GOOD INTENTIONS." lex, tom hardy, resident.