. buy a heart

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---Ivory teeth gnawed at the end of a hangnail, a habit Tessa had kicked aside from when she was drinking. Her bones felt like warm elastic, a combination of the alcohol she had been drinking and the joint that was caught in her palm. It took her a moment to realize that the skin of her hand was red, ashes from the pot flaking off into her hand. The blonde caught it between her fingers before it could burn her severely and took a drag, releasing it into the night air. The cold plexiglas of the tour bus felt good against her shoulder blades as she leaned against it, her bikini top and high waisted shorts baring her to the twilight. ---There were many bad habits she had curbed in the past eight months since she had seen Christian last, but they all came flooding back with frustrations he brought with him. It had been shy of a year since she had seen him prior, incapable of letting him go unseen every time he was in the LA area. History, with them, had a tendency of repeating itself, which made it no less painful everytime he took to leaving again. Of course, it was never his fault, nor hers for that matter. It was the poison of circumstance upon two people, both who were incapable and unwilling to make it work over distance. Tessa felt anxious, a little antsy, numbed by substance abuse. Though, if she were to be frank, her skin was crawling with the notion that she hadn't been laid since the last time they were together and there wasn't much that could be done about that, considering the tour bus currently housed a handful of others and she was no longer that brazen. She was smoking it off, but the ache for him would always be there, curled low and delicate in her belly. ---Smoke, skunky and warm, curled around the ends of her fingers and hair. The night seemed sharp somehow, her blue gaze winding over the mountain that rose above them. The Hollywood sign was far, farther than her sobriety would have let her hike, but it seemed like a good idea to her full mind. Balancing the joint between her plush lips, Tessa's skinny fingers pulled her phone from her back pocket. The glow illuminated her golden hair and features, giving them a garish, blue tint and highlighting the diluted quality of her pupils. Come out here, was all the text read. She imagined the boy on the other end of the line getting it, his dark mass of hair and his inked skin breaking her heart every time that she saw it. Tessa had never meant to cultivate the hang up she had for him. But in all his faults, in all their faults, there certainly was a lot of good. ---She had been dancing around him all night, in an attempts to be one of the boys, more or less. Visits with his band meant she did her best to relax, as she missed them on some level too. Tessa was careful not to brush against him the wrong way, to wind her arms around her neck the way she would Dakota. It was common knowledge that these flirtatious acts were nothing but fun between she and the rest of them, but when it came down to it, the blonde was off limits to anyone except Christian. Her blue gaze shifted as the young woman heard the door open and the thick rubber of his soles meet the ground. She turned, folding her arms over her chest as she did so, watching him with her bloodshot gaze. "Hey you." .................... --- notes: forgive me D: --- tagged: @christian --- music: buy a heart - nicki minaj