CARTER, Samson J.

[Deleted]

SAM J. CARTER . TWENTY-NINE YEARS OLD  CHICAGO NATIVE . NEW YORK LIVING FBI NEGOTIATOR "If you'da told me when we were kids that Sammy Carter would end up working for the FBI, I'd have laughed you outta town. The shit we got up to... I mean, it was never major major, but it was never minor neither. Petty theft, joy riding, arson, maybe a smattering of pick pocketing... Looking back, I did it for the attention, and because Sam was doing it. I figured he was trying to impress me, and fuck, he did. But y'know, I think he'd have done all that shit on his own, with none but his own two eyes to witness it. He probably did. He was criminally bored, that's what it was. The kinda guy who gave the impression of being born bored. I bumped into him the other day and he greeted me like a brother, which is funny, I always thought I was a total irritant when I'd blindly follow him about, doing whatever he suggested. He was real nice, nicer than I remember. I guess Sammy grew up. Good on 'im." DID YOU KNOW  that I'm a vegetarian. WHEN I WAS A KID   I had no idea what I was doing. THINGS ALL CHANGED  when I spent a night in a cell. I REALIZED  that I wanted to be a cop. I WORRY MOST ABOUT  my sister. I CLASH THE MOST WITH  my brother. I SUPPORT  the Democrats. WHEN I DIE  that's it, cremate me. IF I HAD ONE WISH  I'd turn back time. PEOPLE OFTEN SAY  that I'm a good listener. THEY ALSO SAY  they struggle to read me. THE BEST THINGS IN LIFE  don't come easy. NOTHING BEATS  black coffee, blowjobs or beer. I MISS  my wife, all the time. EARLY 2007 "Heyy buddy, it's Wrighty. Y'know, your partner? Your right hand man? Listen dude, I'm out with the precinct and they told me you bailed on the drinks invite. Again. That's gotta be what, the fifth? Sixth time running? Listen man, I know you're cool, but the rest of the guys, they're starting to think you're sketchy. Either that or they think you got so many girls on the go that you don't have a spare second to have a drink with your colleagues... I know it ain't like that, I know it ain't a snub, that it's just your way. But if you could make a bit of an effort it'd be great. You'd like them if you gave them the chance! Besides, how'd you think you're gonna meet a nice girl when you're cooped up in that apartment eating bean burgers or the fuck ever it is you do? Making federal isn't what it's all about, you gotta live dude. Anyway, see you bright and early tomorrow." "Girls were always a weird one for me. I knew straight away that I wasn't gay, but I don't think I lusted after them the way my classmates did. I didn't sit around salivating over the glimpse of a bra strap, and I never begged a girl to let me put a hand up her skirt after prom. It's probably worth mentioning that I didn't have to. That sounds like bragging, but honestly, I don't know what I did that made them so keen. Maybe it was 'cause I skipped a lot of school and my absence gave me some sort of misguided mystery, maybe it was that I was always pretty tall and pretty broad. Fuck knows, but I never had to pressure girls into anything. To be honest, I tried not to. Imagine someone offering you a slice of cake and you just licking off the icing... that's what I was like with girls. I wanted a taste, I wanted the best, sweetest bit of them, but I wasn't really interested in the whole. But I'd have tainted it. I learned fairly early on how difficult to deal with girls in love are, so I got to a point that I tried to avoid that ever being a risk factor. For some girls that meant we could chat and be friends, others I could fuck, but yeah, I got pretty adept at knowing when to cut them off. I don't know what was so different about Isla. Maybe it was that she wasn't that keen. I'm not talking about that treat 'em mean bullshit, I mean she was legit not that keen on me. She vaguely knew a girl I'd cheated on in my misspent youth, knew I had a bit of a bad rep when it came to commitment, and really, I don't even think that was it, I think she was genuinely not that into the idea of being my girlfriend. Naturally, I was obsessed. I couldn't be more into the idea of her being my girlfriend, and I was determined to prove to her how different she was no matter what it took... unless what it took was grand romantic gestures, 'cause that's not really my thing either. But I could be persistent. Making a huge thing of the fact that I was the only person she even vaguely knew in the city, I hounded her day and night, offering to make her dinner and show her around and you name it. Eventually she caved, and it's cliche, but that was it. I was crazy about her from that very first date at Blue Smoke where she derided me for my vegetarianism and just about everything else about me. She was perfect. So fucking stupid how you can forget that when a pretty young thing's willing to suck your dick." . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  THE TIME MY PRECIOUS NEGOTIATION TECHNIQUES COMPLETELY FAILED ME LISTEN ACTIVELY — Listen to them, and make sure they know you're listening. "Baby, Isla, I'm so sorry. Just hit me with it, tell me how you're feeling. Lay it all out. Don't give me anywhere to hide." EMPATHIZE — Understand where they're coming from. "I know. I know. Christ Isla, no one knows how much of a cunt I am better than me. If you did something like this to me... fuck, I'd be devastated. Beyond." ESTABLISH RAPPORT — When they return the feeling of empathy and trust your way. "Please baby, don't think it's anything you did. How could it be? It was the fucking stupidest thing. Have you ever been in a situation where you're so out of it, you're so dense that you almost sleepwalk through it, then you realize what you've done after? Honestly, I barely remember it." INFLUENCE — With trust established, you can work on solving the problem together. "We've been drifting apart lately and that's more my fault than anyone's. Please, let's work this out, let's get us back to where we used to be. We're good for each other." CHANGE BEHAVIOR — They act—positively. "Isla, if I could physically choke to death on my own dick I would try to just for you. Shall I take this as a no?" "As a mother, I can't tell you how difficult it was to watch my eldest go off the rails. I'm not even sure that's the most apt phrase-- it seems to imply that he let loose, somehow rebelled. That is not what Samson did. There was and is no wildness in him, it wasn't that he was acting out against the world. That would be easier to deal with, something he would be more likely to grow out of. No, it was a deep rooted apathy that drove Samson to do as he pleased, that pushed him out of school and into truancy and soft drugs and petty crime. It's not what I wanted for him, but his father and I were at a loss as to what we could do to stop him. In the end, we needn't have worried. Because it didn't come down to us to save him, oh no. That came down to Birdie. Quite unintentionally (and without any awareness of what she was achieving) Birdie would follow Sam around, asking him questions and mimicking him. It was only through watching her watching him that he learned how reckless his behavior could be, and not wanting her to imitate him, he slowly eased into more desirable habits. When he left for New York, I knew it was Birdie he was going to miss most, and though that stung, I'm grateful that he has her influence over him. By all accounts they remain thick as thieves. All these years later, I hope he manages to influence her as positively as she influenced him." . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  THE BEST THINGS ABOUT MY SISTER: her curiosity, her wanderlust, her softness, her sweetness, her intelligence, her reliability, her dependability, her cooking, her spontaneity, her sociability, her ability to see right through me, her patience, her diligence, her eagerness to please, her ability to see the good in most situations. ... AND THE WORST: her flightiness, her insistence on hanging around, her fickleness, her habit of reading texts and forgetting to reply, her humming, her eagerness to please, her ability to see right through me, her ability to see the good in situations where there really just isn't any. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  "I didn't leave for New York intentionally. I wasn't one of those people who was drawn to the bright lights of the big city, and even now I'm a Chicagoan through and through. But work dragged me here, and now I don't mind so much. I don't mind so much because Birdie moved here. Leaving her behind felt like the biggest act of neglect. There's ten years between us, and it's incredible how fluid that can feel - there are countless times where she's wise beyond her years, wiser than me, and I could be talking to someone older than myself. But then there are times she seems so fragile, so young, that she's a kid again. I'm protective of her, that's for sure. Not in the usual 'fuck my sister and I'll castrate you' way, because she's her own person and she can handle herself. But in the 'fuck with my sister and I'll drop whatever I'm doing to bring her a bottle of Bulleit and then maybe, maybe, I'll castrate you. If it seems like it might cheer her up.'  She used to follow me round asking the most inane questions, and she still does it some time. Now I just answer them without really thinking. We're real different that way, her with these open, mostly rhetorical questions, and me with resolute answers I'm not even really sure of but parrot anyway. She taught me a lot about myself growing up, not least because babysitting duties stopped me from heading out mailboxing. She asks 'why' so much you can't help but wind up in some stupid philosophical discussion, and my teenage years are littered with numerous incidents of me missing parties to sit around with a little kid debating the meaning of life. People always assumed I was pissed to be burdened with her, but man, I can't tell you how glad I was to have that excuse. I remember when I wound up getting a knife to the face while I was still working the beat back home. The perp was off his face on fuck knows what, waving this knife around, threatening to harm his missus and scaring the shit out of their kids. Not even my sweet-talk was gonna get this guy to back down, so eventually it became a case of me rushing him while my partner got the girl and the kids to safety... I used to be like that, reckless, impulsive. It's the whole reason I became a cop in the first place, I probably fancied myself a hero more than I made out. We should have waited for back up. Needless to say he was eventually apprehended, but not before I had about eight stitches in my face and some serious scarring. Birdie insisted on meeting me at the hospital, so mom drove her over... she must have been about nine. The look on her face knocked all that alpha daredevil bullshit straight outta me. I'd probably have gotten myself killed by now if it weren't for her."

lex, resident, tobias sorensen