Post by Deleted on Jan 4, 2017 8:36:52 GMT
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_________________________________________________ FAVORITES . ALBUM ∘ london calling, the clash BOOK ∘ the secret history, donna tartt QUOTE ∘ "you can't have a better tomorrow if you're thinking about yesterday." BAND ∘ the clash FLAVOR ∘ mango CITY ∘ barcelona COLOR ∘ pantone 2411 C TV SHOW ∘ easy MOVIE ∘ groundhog day ARTIST ∘ mark rothko EMOJI ∘ ✊🏼 FOOD ∘ seafood generally WORD ∘ 'labyrinthine' SCENT ∘ wet paint INSIGHT . YEARNS FOR ∘ redemption IS MOST SCARED OF ∘ unintentionally hurting others WOULD SPEND A LOTTERY WIN ON ∘ academia NEVER HAS ANY ∘ spare time ALMOST ALWAYS HAS ∘ a book under his arm IS MOTIVATED BY ∘ a desire to right his wrongs WOULD NEVER ∘ want to shirk blame SECRETLY ∘ sings in the shower IS A TOTALLY ∘ loyal friend HERO WORSHIPS ∘ drake CAN'T STAND ∘ materialism WOULD BE A ∘ gryffindor WILL PROBABLY NEVER ∘ make it up to her . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . MY DAD . "We adopted Cormac as a newborn baby. It was simultaneously the happiest and saddest moment of my life, happiest because I finally had a son, because all the failed IVF didn't matter so much anymore, because the open wound of my wife's multiple miscarriages could finally start to heal. But it was sad, of course. His mother was in her early twenties, a heroin addict, a beautiful girl made ugly by addiction and so helpless. She gave him up before they could take him off her, she said. She'd been through that before and I know it's not the same, but I could see the same pain in her that I had seen in Emily's face so many times before... I could also see that she knew she was healing some of Emily's pain, and I hope that was a comfort to her. We've never stopped being grateful to her for what she gave us. Even though he could be a little shit. Spirited I believe is the euphemism. Cormac was a bundle of energy, not just physically but mentally-- he would run rings around us, literally, only to stop and ask all these relentless questions, why why why, how how how, etc. There was nothing he would take at face value. Why was the sky blue? How did birds fly? Why does 1+1=2? Why did he have to go to school? If God made everything, why did he make disease? Can God make mistakes? What if God's not real? What happens when you die? These were all questions he'd asked by the age of eight, and I won't lie to you, it was exhausting. But my god, were we proud. Perhaps we're biased, but Cormac always had something about him that made him special. Okay, of course we're biased. We'd wanted him for so long, we chose him. You tell your children that they can achieve anything because you don't want to limit them, but with Cormac we felt he really could achieve anything he wanted to. He was always bright, but the most noteworthy trait has been his ability to be integrated but separate. Different but the same. He's never cared much what others thought of him, but that natural indifference encouraged reverence... he understands people, he's kind, and yet he doesn't fall in with them. He had no goth phase, he never worried about throwing a party in case no one came, heck, he wouldn't have cared if he did and they didn't. He was so preoccupied with other things, the opinions of his peers never really came into it. Until Ana. Suddenly we had the teenager movies had made us expect. Cormac the quarterback, Cormac the smitten boyfriend, Cormac the kid caught underage drinking. We suddenly had to have the talk, to get him out of a cell, to scream his name from the side of the pitch. Obviously these weren't bad things, not inherently. Ana was great! We were so happy to see him with such a lovely girl, that was very reassuring. But the rest? It just... it wasn't really him. Suddenly he cared what he looked like. He'd sneak out in the middle of the night to go to parties, he'd lie to his mom about where he'd been. Standard teenage behavior, I know, I know, but not standard Cormac behaviour. His 4.0 GPA slipped. He stopped caring so much about college. We were worried. Then he did what he did to Ana and that, that truly broke all of our hearts. It was so out of character, but emblematic of what he'd become: a selfish little asshole. Of course we grounded him for the rest of high school, but what can you do? We expected him to defy us like he had been doing for the year before that. If there was one glimmer of hope, it was that it wasn't. I think doing that to Ana was a cold hard wake up call for Mac, because after that, we got our old boy back. Albeit with a severe (and well deserved) guilt complex. Since then he's been working hard on his PHD, training to become a clinical psychologist. It's nice to be able to say I'm proud of him again." |
lex | chris pinkalla | student |
