Post by aisha van buren on Jan 28, 2017 10:14:29 GMT
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_________________________________________________ FAVORITES . ALBUM ∘ extraordinary machine, fiona apple BOOK ∘ lolita, vladimir nabakov QUOTE ∘ “A lot of people lacked that gift: knowing when to fuck off.” BAND ∘ hot chip FLAVOR ∘ watermelon CITY ∘ chicago COLOR ∘ pantone 176 U TV SHOW ∘ rupaul's drag race MOVIE ∘ the road ARTIST ∘ louise bourgeois EMOJI ∘ 💅 FOOD ∘ sweet & salty popcorn WORD ∘ 'trash' SCENT ∘ tom ford's soliel blanc  "Contrary to popular belief, I'm not a fucking idiot. I knew dating a pop star would be difficult, that he had rabid fangirls who'd want nothing more than to see me fall from grace. But I don't think anyone could have predicted just how much shit I'd get. My dad owns a PR empire and he warned me, so maybe he predicted it, but it was his fault I met Elliot in the first place. Truthfully, I was a little blinded by how famous he was, and I couldn't really believe that he'd be interested in a nobody like me.Imagine my surprise when, after we'd fucked backstage at one of his gigs, he called me up and asked me on a date. Who can blame me for forgetting I had a boyfriend? Needless to say, he became my world for the year we dated. I just couldn't ever get over the fact that Elliot Starke, the Elliot Starke, was interested in me. It took a good three months of us dating for me to stop thinkign of him as a pop star and start thinking about him as my boyfriend, but I never got used to it. Not when I was getting death threats on a near minutely basis. I could live with it, of course, but the truth is that it wasn't the death threats, which were so extreme they were stupid, but the day to day aggressions... everything I wore, my makeup, every tweet I sent, they were all analyzed to death by his army of pathetic acolytes. He was apologetic, of course, but there was nothing he could do. It'd be a PR nightmare if he tried to counter any of them, and daddy wouldn't have that."  WHAT I GOT FROM MY MOM ∘ stubbornness, pride, self belief, great skin, a lot of love and affection, confidence, strength, a desperate need for drama, family loyalty, curiosity, perseverance, an affectionate nature, a desire to be loved, a tendency to wear my heart on my sleeve, charm. WHAT I GOT FROM MY DAD ∘ wanderlust, an over inflated ego, a strong selfish streak, fickleness, a lack of drive, a sharp tongue, charisma, a hefty allowance, a constant stream of praise, issues around commitment, an original thought process, a whole lot of insensitivity. DAISY VAN BUREN & CAESAR McCARTHY "There have never been two people who belong together more than my parents. It makes me sick that daddy's run off and proposed to that airhead girl, even if it was mom who broke things off with him in the first place. How can she be so stupid? It's so obvious that he loves her, look at the way he treats me compared to my half-sister! Daddy was always a huge part of my life growing up, though my mom says that's because she wouldn't let him be anything but. Whatever. For the first year she didn't even tell him I was hers, though he insists now that he could tell... he was off playing house with Vegas though, so I'd rather choose to believe that he couldn't have known, because he'd have come back to my mom. I know it. He tried for years and years to get her to marry him and she wouldn't, not even when they had my little brother Tate. Did she think he'd stick around forever? Honestly, I swear, my mom is such a dumb blonde. I totally blame her for this."   THINGS I MISS ABOUT MY EX ∘ his laugh, he had the best laugh and he gave it so freely. the way he'd indulge my obsession with coincidences even though I could tell he didn't really think anything of them. his music, his talent. his ability to hold your attention without ever demanding it. the way all his t-shirts reeked of weed. how soothing he was whenever I was upset, though he didn't think he was any help. how gentle he was. how he'd always get rid of spiders for me. how he never let me walk home from the subway alone because he knew how much it scared me, even though I pretended it didn't. how pretty he made me feel. how good he was with his hands. sleepy sundays together. his dog. the way he never tried to kiss me with morning breath. that smell of his, his natural musk mixed with laundry powder and weed, that was always enough to make me feel so safe. how he didn't get jealous and didn't give me cause to be jealous. how he knew that when I said "nothing, thanks' when he asked if I wanted anything while he was out, that definitely meant that I wanted Doritos and Red Bull. what a good conversationalist he was. his good taste in t-shirts, many of which I stole. THINGS I DON'T MISS ABOUT MY EX ∘ his blanket hogging. having to give up a lie in to walk his dog every now and then. how much he got on with my brother. how much he indulged me, though I know now he was just trying to keep me happy. how inadequate I felt compared to his innate goodness. how easily things come to him, like talent and success. how much his friends hated me. getting rashes from his stubble. how much my dad didn't like us as a couple, though he insists that he liked Joe as a person. how awful I used to feel knowing that he deserved better but that I was too selfish to be that for him. how hard it was to eventually let him go. |
lex | meredith mickelson | student |