. homecoming

[august de witte]

In many ways, August is the most ill-fitting of all his friends. There was Corinne, who was pretty and pleasing, she seemed to get along with everyone. Dora, who stood with a fierceness, that seemed to magnetize everyone around her. Nick, the friendly jock, who knew how to make everyone laugh and held sound logic. Then there was August. A bit weird, a bit of a loner, and more push than pull. He was skinny, boyish looking and fell when it came to the modern do's and don'ts. There was always an insecurity in this obscureness that resulted in quick rage or sarcasm. In this case, it was the first. August catches a half second exchange between his best friends that makes him roll his eyes. As Nick goes on to defend himself and insult him, August nods his head to every word. “Still just as insufferable," he pipes in, his body leaning against the counter. He is becoming less hyper as the moments pass, his fists relax and his knuckles gradually fade from white. The angry is still holding steady and his jaw is still tight. He's numb with feeling. He feels like an asshole when Teddi speaks, but his exterior doesn't reflect this. He's tight lipped and looking down at the floor, his face stoney. He knows this is true and sometimes it feels as though he's been fishing for compliments, he's quite embarrassed of the fact. Again, there was Nick. Who was charismatic and flirty. Where he felt social incompetent, he always failed with girls and failed at securing a life path. Even so, he ignores the reality she's just brought to light and he looks towards the fire exit. “Fine then, I'll take this. Ladder probably rusted from not being used in sixty years, but hey. With me gone, there's no reason to fake anymore. You're really condescending, you know that?". August turns to make his way, “Maybe it'd feel better if you both admitted it. It'd make me feel better, make me feel like I wasn't living in a total fucking lie." ......................... notes: dramatic aug music: Jaws hehe

[Deleted]

As someone who was generally opposed to the idea of hurting anyone's feelings, let alone those of his closest friends, Nick was surprised by the bile that had poured fourth. It wasn't so much that it wasn't true, because of course he thought of Teddi as a sexual person most when he was sexually frustrated or bored, that was natural. But the way he had said it implied that this was all it was, which was disingenuous-- years of being in her company and coming to respect and value her as a friend was what made him see her as more than just a hot girl. What he had said made it sound like she was some sort of backup option, something to amuse himself with when no one better was around, and that just was not the case. He made a mental note to explain this to Teddi later, though for her part she didn't disagree. Second mental note: think about why that might be. Was that all he was to her?  August speaks and Nick hopes, prays that he hears some softening in the resilience to his tone, though his attempt to reach the fire escape suggests otherwise. He thinks about what Teddi's just said and notes that August doesn't massively defend himself against the charges, something he thinks he would do if he didn't agree. Nick agreed too. He was always acutely aware of August's self imposed outcast status, whether that was through his football teammates asking what was up with them being friends, or the brief flash of surprise that always crossed his girlfriends' faces when he introduced them to him as his best friend. But it pissed him off that he read into these so heavily, since they seemed so minor to Nick. Of course on the face of it they were a mismatch, and he could see how easy his life must seem to August, but he also thought he knew that this was all face value. "Funny, you calling anyone condescending," he muttered, the ape jibe ringing in his ears. "What do you want us to admit? That we find each other sexually attractive in the broadest terms possible? That's not a secret. No one's hiding anything from you, you're scrambling for excuses." ......................... notes: back 2 poop music: jurassic park theme

[teddi st. james]

The more the minutes pass, the less sympathetic she feels. Frustration, and an icy default, begin to win out despite a resolve she'd made with herself years ago where she pacted to never treat her friends this way. Years in the upper manhattan social circle had taught her friendship was a superficial thing, that it could be challenged and thrown around and treated with relative disregard. It wasn't until she moved to Newbury and met the three of them that she realized this was not how things had to be, and for the most part, she had unlearned so many of those tendencies that were flaming up now in anger. Blind to Nick, focusing only on the slim man that jogged to her fire escape, she settled her gaze on him like daggers, vibrating with rage. How dare he suggest that she couldn't possibly be around someone attractive without defaulting to anything less than a sexual love for them. "Maybe one day, Nick, he'll realize I fucked a guy that looked just like him, and he'll come to terms with the fact that I don't want him for his shit personality, not for his appearance." "Just let him go. That's what he wants." Teddi turns away at her words, back to him as he goes to the fire escape. Now she wants him to leave, and it disgusts her that she ever thought to invite him in the first place. She tosses her hair over her shoulder, and then turns around abruptly, taking his beer and his donuts that he'd left on the table and set them by the window. She stands eye to eye with August, cheeks burning in the way they do when she drinks hard liquor, eyes threatening to spill over out of sheer exasperation. "There you go, take your stuff. Get out of my loft." ......................... notes: srry music: my own hideous eating.

[august de witte]

August is losing sense of the situation. From his blunt arrival into the loft of Theodora St. James, to his now departure. It's been a very steady line of rage, the way he spoke flatly and coldly to his friends was catching up to him now. The hype of fresh news and the threat of his position of friendship (the battle of his own insecurities), was now wearing off. For him it was easy to hold a grudge against his family. He wouldn't speak to his brothers for months, even if they had done so little as borrowed one of his shirts (not likely that they would) or stole a french fry off his plate. This was different. His small clique was closer than family. Nick more of a brother to him than his twin brother Abel. And Dora like a... no, definitely not a sister. Wife without benefits. He has the exit ajar and that damp, smelly city air is pouring in. His blue eyes glance up as Theodora tosses her hair behind her shoulders and he catches a laugh in his chest, looking at Nick like a kid in trouble. August is finding his sense of humour, the little brunette stomping around her apartment is only encouraging his immaturity. He laughs silently but uncontrollably, his chest lifting with jitters and the sides of his mouth pulling into an awkward lopsided shit-eating grin. “Shit personality,” he continues to laugh as she sets the donuts and beer beside him. He reaches over to flick open the box of donuts and stares back at her as he shoves a smore donut in his mouth. “I feel better, thanks though,” he attempts to close the conversation like that. He grabs a beer from the case, heaves himself up onto the counter and slides the case over to Nick. ......................... notes: I ran out of fight music: spoon

[Deleted]

The truth was that August was right, Nick was an overgrown puppy at heart. Whilst he could be pushed to having his temper flare up, it was not a state of being he could sustain, and really he yearned most for harmony. That's why he had kept things with Corinne a secret, that's why he had lashed out at the two of them, and that's why he was struggling so much now in the face of August's defiance. Watching Teddi collect his things and place them by the window made him feel helpless to intervene, not wanting August to leave but not wanting to undermine her gesture. The struggle was written all over his face, brow furrowed and frown firmly in place. Frustration is radiating off Teddi now too, her plan  gone awry.  Then August laughs, and Nick's so relieved he can't help but laugh too. He reaches for the box, that guilt setting in again though he ignores it as he reaches in and gets himself a doughnut. "Open me a beer?" he says, voice mumbled through food. Just like that he felt normal again, and stupid for being so dramatic. Of course this is how it would happen. Whilst the two of them didn't fight often, the handful of times they had always ended like this - normality creeped back in without their inviting it, and any weirdness was left unspoken of and often, genuinely forgotten. He senses that this may not be the case for Teddi, who generally was less forgiving than Nick, though he knew that she too found it difficult to carry a grudge for long. "Come on, T,' he said, nodding down at the sugary snack. "Half this with me. I don't wanna keep going on about it, but you did make me miss the gym after all." ......................... notes: i'm sorry for this and i'm sorry for always falling asleep on ya!! music: nothing