Post by Deleted on Jul 6, 2017 19:21:31 GMT
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- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  "I never thought I would end up in hospital with Jonathan Kaplan. The same Jonny Kaplan who stared down at me from my bedroom wall, the same Jonny who I'd begged my parents over and over again to let me see in concert. But that's what happened a few weeks ago, after we'd both tried to kill ourselves. I had loved Jonny like any teenage girl loves her idol. My notebook was full of love hearts around his initials and I signed my name as Samantha Kaplan. I obsessively reblogged his face on my Tumblr, I would get in heated debates trying to protect his honour, disagreeing with those who said he was wrong to break MJ's engagement up. When I saw him in the first group therapy session, the only familiar face in our strange mix of lost souls, I thought maybe I had died after all. It just couldn't be true. Whilst my stomach was tender from being pumped, his arm was decorated in what looked like a thousand tiny stitches, little threads weaving in and out of his tattoos. Just the one arm, though-- I later found out that he had changed his mind midway through, that he'd actually admitted himself to hospital. This was the first thing to confuse me about Jonny, and let me tell you, it was not the last. Who gets halfway through opening their wrists and then changes their mind? You'd think someone erratic and unpredictable, but Jonny is so far from that. He's the same as he's always been in interviews but more so in the flesh; slow moving, barely talking, a heavy presence despite a hollowness to him. It's hard to explain. He would also say odd things, intentionally misleading the discussion. Like one time, when we were being encouraged to say things we were looking forward to, and the only thing he volunteered was seeing his mom again. Seems a safe answer, right? But I know his bio, no doubt the doctors know his bio, and Jonny's mom took her own life back when he was a teenager. Who commits themselves to hospital only to keep the flame of their suicidal ideation burning? I never could figure him out, not aided by the fact he must have said less than fifty words in all the weeks we shared together. His actions and his manner suggested two different people, and I still couldn't tell you which one he was. Is he the unpredictable, selfish, reckless attention seeker? Or is he a tortured soul, only a whisker away from giving up on life entirely? The only way I can rationalize it is that he intentionally deadens himself, cauterising the wound, in a way. Can't say I blame him." - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - W O R D A S S O C I A T I O N  SARA HOLLAND best friends, guitar strings, crappy couches, spliffs, mcdonalds runs, unresolved sexual tension, only person to get a suicide note, jam sessions, tour buses, raging fights, missed flights, months of the silent treatment, laughter, release, late night conversations, airport terminals, concerned mutual friends, a sense of fragility that's defied by years of stability, voicemails, swapping reviews, spotify playlists, jealousy, lingering resentment, recording studios, carnality, mutual hangovers, uncertainty. SINTHIA CLARK-KAPLAN pretend cousins, firsts, teenage bedrooms, late night tv and microwave popcorn, mania, mdma, music festivals, quickies in cramped cubicles, loaded glances, arguments over text, volatility, accusations of inauthenticity, press attention, remorse, long distance, social media, prescription pills, unresolved hurt, magazine covers, vacations, a magnetic pull, awkward parental interventions, prom, forgetting about birth control, screaming matches in public, passive aggressive comments online, inability to stay away. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - KAPLAN, JONATHAN KARL DESCRIPTION: Patient has committed serious suicide attempt, though admitted himself for treatment. IDENTIFYING DATA: The patient is a 28-year-old Caucasian male. CHIEF COMPLAINT: The patient committed himself for treatment after lacerating left arm, elbow to wrist. Patient managed to call an ambulance but was unconscious on the scene, has been admitted for voluntary ongoing treatment. This is the patient's second attempt, the first being an overdose in 2015. HISTORY OF PRESENT ILLNESS: During the patient’s three week rehabilitation, hospital workers have reported that he is despondent in manner, with low responsiveness to questioning. The patient refused and still refuses to discuss his motivation behind his suicide attempts and insists he has recovered. His relatives and partner describe witnessing no clues that he was depressed, commenting that his emotional state seemed stable, if negative. The patient claims to have no ongoing ideation. PSYCHIATRIC HISTORY: The patient has once been hospitalized for psychiatric purposes, following his first attempt in 2015. He was previously taking paroxetine to aid his depression, but admits to stopping two months ago. SUBSTANCE ABUSE HISTORY: Caffeine: Two to three cups of coffee per day, the occasional energy drink. Tobacco: High risk smoker. Admits to a pack a day. Alcohol: CAGE questionnaire indicates moderate alcohol problems. Patient claims to drink no more than “one or two beers every now and then”. Illicit drugs: Patient admitted to occasional use of a range of recreational drugs, including cocaine, speed, MDMA, ecstacy and marijuana, though claims to have quit them all six months ago. We discussed some of the major risks of these substances. MEDICAL HISTORY AND REVIEW OF SYMPTOMS: Constitutional: See History of Present Illness. Neurological: No history of seizures, no history of migraines. Cardiovascular: Denied. Pulmonary: Denied. Gastrointestinal: Denied. He has no history of liver disease or peptic ulcer disease. Endocrine and Hematological: Denied. Dermatological: Denied. Musculoskeletal: Denied. Genitourinary: Denied. Other: Denied. ALLERGIES: No known drug allergies. CURRENT MEDICATIONS: Prescription: Denied. Over-the-counter: Denied. Herbal: Denied. BIRTH AND DEVELOPMENTAL HISTORY: The patient’s father confirms he was born full term, after a normal pregnancy, weighing about 7-1/2 pounds. He believes he reached the developmental milestones at the usual ages. ABUSE HISTORY/TRAUMA/UNUSUAL CHILDHOOD EVENTS: The patient claims to have had a normal childhood, though his father has confirmed that he did not mix well with other children at school. Percieved as "intense" by peers and teachers alike. FAMILY PSYCHIATRIC HISTORY: The patient's mother committed suicide when the patient was nineteen years old, after a lifelong history of depression. There are apparently a number of family members with alcohol issues. FAMILY MEDICAL HISTORY: The patient's paternal grandfather had prostate cancer and died in his late-fifties. His father suffers from hypertension and liver disease. SOCIAL HISTORY: The patient was born in Detroit, Michigan and has one younger sister. He has lived in New York for the past nine years and has achieved fame through his music career. The patient is single. SPIRITUAL BELIEFS: He denies any spiritual beliefs. EDUCATION: High school diploma. LEGAL: He denies any legal problems. MENTAL STATUS EXAMINATION: The patient arrived on time. He is cooperative with questioning, though his replies are limited, rarely exceeding more than a few words. He is well groomed but avoids eye contact. Intelligence is above average. Insight and judgment are good. He is oriented to time, place, and person. Speech is limited, but coherent, and of normal rate and tone. Patient claims his mood is good, but affect is apathetic. The patient becomes more hostile with some of the questioning during the examination, particularly around the subject of his mother. He denies auditory or visual hallucinations. He denies continued suicidal ideation but shows no desire to be released from hospital. FORMULATION: The patient is a 28-year-old Caucasian male with a history of depression and suicidal behaviors, most likely resulting from PTSD caused by the death of his mother. STRENGTHS: Above average intelligence, strong self-awareness. PROGNOSIS: Moderate, if the patient follows through with appropriate treatment. Without proper treatment, the patient will likely have further substantial deterioration of psychosocial functioning and poses a severe risk to himself. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  Jon, |
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