McKINNON, RILEY A.

[Deleted]

NEW ORLEANS BORN, RILEY DOES A GOOD GAMBIT IMPRESSION. ENTP. LAW SCHOOL DROPOUT. VOTED MOST LIKELY TO SUCCEED IN SENIOR YEAR... HE'S AWARE OF THE IRONY. FICKLE. CHARMING. THE ULTIMATE DEVIL'S ADVOCATE. "Failure is not our only punishment for laziness; there is also the success of others." DESPITE BEING A HIGH FUNCTIONING SOCIOPATH THERE ARE TWO PEOPLE RILEY ACTUALLY CARES FOR - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - An Excerpt of Riley's Employment Record:    ∙  guest services, bourbon orleans hotel, NOLA    ∙  bartender, tropical isle, NOLA    ∙  bartender, bar tonique, NOLA    ∙  waiter, galtoire's, NOLA    ∙  bartender, spirits of bourbon, NOLA    ∙  waiter, oceana, NOLA    ∙  bartender, death & co, NYC    ∙  bartender, attaboy, NYC    ∙  bartender, the thirsty scholar, NYC    ∙  paid volunteer, flu camp, NY    ∙  bartender, old absinthe house, NOLA    ∙  waiter, sweet chick, NYC    ∙  cashier, trader joes, NYC    ∙  pizza delivery boy, dominos, NOLA and NYC    ∙  cashier, rouses, NOLA    ∙  cashier, sidney's liquor, NOLA    ∙  bartender, house of blues, NOLA To: Mick Henderson <[e-mail]> From: Jason Mendes <[e-mail]> Subject: Re:  Riley McKinnon?? Hey dude! Good to hear from you! Yeah, Riley worked for us for a while. About six months total.. I got the impression from him that six months was a pretty long stint in his eyes. It's a tricky one. I wouldn't say don't hire him, he's a good bartender with a good knowledge of cocktails, and customers love him man, he's got that southern charm going for him. Does he take it seriously? No, not at all. He's not a career barman, I get the idea he's not a career anything. Kid's had more jobs than I've had hot dinners. But he shows up on time (mostly), doesn't drink (heavily) on the job, knows enough to cover his shift if he's not gonna make it. He's a smart guy. Studied law! Christ knows how he's ended up on the circuit. He's worked for a good few people I know and responses have been mixed... I liked him well enough, but his laziness can rub people up the wrong way. Plus, you know he won't be there long... for me that wasn't too much of a problem as I didn't have to spend long training him, so it didn't feel like I'd wasted time. Let me know how it goes. If you do hire him, tell him I said hi.  Let me know next time you're in town, it's been too long! - JM - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - "I've done a lot of stupid things in my time, but by far the stupidest was falling in love with my best friend. It's not something I ever set out to do. In fact, I was engaged to someone else when she decided to tell me how she felt, and I realized I felt exactly the same way. Tara's been a huge part of my life for as long as I can remember. As friends we were inseparable, I'd be at her place the second she needed me, we'd have sleepovers and fall asleep tangled up together... my fiancee didn't love that, and looking back I can see why. But I didn't think anything of it. I'm a pretty tactile person, and Tara and I are so different from each other, it honestly never occurred to me as a romantic thing.  I should have remembered that, how different we are. The things we disagreed about as friends became things we fought about as a couple. She's always been in a rush to have kids and settle down back in the south, I've been in a rush to do anything but that. I can't even act like I didn't know that, it's all she's talked about for years! Listen, this is gonna make me sound like a real dick, but it's the truth-- I thought she would like me enough to get over it. I guess she did, for a time. She must have thought the same thing about me, that one day I'd cave.  Now she's engaged and living in Nashville, while I'm in New York pretending I can't tell students' IDs are fake, so that tells you how we worked out. I hate the distance, I hate not speaking to her all the time, but most of all I hate that we crossed that line. If we had just stayed friends none of this would have happened, but she had to go and open her big mouth. She fucked it."  - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - "As anyone who's ever partied here will tell you, New Orleans is a fun place. Where else can you wander down the street at 8am, drinking a lethally alcoholic cocktail with a plastic shark sticking out of it? Like most locals I avoid Bourbon Street like the plague, so I can't understand why Riley has spent so much of his life working there. Our parents expected more out of him, a lot more, everyone did. He's smart. Fucking annoyingly smart, turns everything into an argument and never ever loses that argument, he was a nightmare to grow up with. He's gotten worse though. When he went to NYU to study law we were all so happy to see him fufill his potential. He's a lazy fucker, and with Rhea... it wasn't always easy to buckle down and study in our house.  Then he quit and took up a bar job. It broke my mom's heart. Since then he's worked in bar after bar, I've visited him a couple times and it's just sad. He used to be my hero. So effortlessly cool, Riley never gave a fuck about what people thought of him, always got with the hottest girls, aced school without trying... now he doesn't give a fuck about anything in a bad way. He's an alcoholic and I know alcohol's not his only vice. When he started dating Tara I hoped that would put him on the straight and narrow, and for a while it did. Then came the travelling, and I thought maybe he'd come back changed. If anything I think he's worse. I know he works with Sammy now, and isn't that just the worst? She's four years younger than him and wound up in the same place. Sure New Orleans is wild, but New York's the ruin of both of them." ⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯ CHARLIE McKINNON, BROTHER "I'm the first to admit I'm not as close to my sons as I would like. Rhea, my youngest, has severe learning difficulties and I've had to give almost all my attention to her, round the clock, for the last twenty years. It must have been such a shock for little Riley when his siblings came along and suddenly he wasn't the center of the universe anymore. I hate to say this, but I think I've failed him. All the raw materials are there with Riles, they always have been-- he's so smart, smarter than us by miles. He was always so full of ideas and wisdom, and so sharp he could cut right through me with a few choice words, even at the age of seven. He's always been confident too, not one for shyness. So if everything was there for him to be a success, it can only be us, me and his dad, that took a sure bet and let him become what he is today. 'Cause what he is today ain't all that much to shout about. Don't get me wrong, I love him so much, but that might be why it hurts so much to see him throw everything away. He could really be somethin', but that attitude of his makes him his own worst enemy. He gets bored so easily. One day he's tellin' me he loves wildlife and wants to be a biologist, he's taking out books from the library and pouring over them like they're the Bible. The next? He hates animals, he says he always has, and now he wants to be a photographer. It's the most frustrating thing. If he'd settle on one thing there's no doubt in my mind that he'd be the best at it, but since he quit law school I've given up on the dream of him realizing all that potential of his. The worst thing is that it's not just in his professional life he's like that. That'd be okay, if a little worrying, but at least he'd still be a good person. I do think he's a good person, but gosh, does he like to bury it under a whole lot of nastiness sometimes. Riley's excitability goes so far as to apply to his friendships and relationships. He's proposed more times than I can count, and the thing is I really believe he believes what he's doing is right in the moment... but then he gets bored, and like a cat with a mouse, he plays with these poor girls like they're toys. Doesn't just get bored and drop 'em, no no, he drags the whole nonsense out, plays hot and cold, sees how far he can go before they finally find their limit and end it so he doesn't have to. It's the worst thing to see, so cruel. I don't know where he gets it from either, his daddy's always been sweet as pie to me.... Riley's a selfish boy, I pray that he grows into a selfless man one day. You ask me? If Tara can't save him, there's no hope left." ⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯ JENNA McKINNON, MOTHER - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - LIKES - brunettes, planes, instagram, working out, novelty, bret easton ellis, whisky, po boys, batman, girls with accents, new belgium brewing co, regular customers, eccentric customers, abita brewery, the smell of bleach, lara croft, jazz, fishing, swimming, dusk, jalapenos, new york, rags to riches stories, party drugs, ghost stories, creole food, girls with low self esteem, cold showers, video games, vietnamese food, travelling, experiencing new cultures, debating, type b personalities, clear seas, pineapple on pizza, bojack horseman. DISLIKES - militant feminists, type a personalities, guilt trips, girls who overstay their welcome, closing up the bar, jetlag, sunburn, overly talkative customers, tourists, bad tippers, tabloid newspapers, aristocratic people, star wars, manbuns (bar the time he had one), steven spielberg movies, rodents, the subway, dominos pizza, guac being charged as an extra, non-confrontational people, spiders, airport security.