KHAN, Nicholas I.

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nicholas ivan , 25  .  freelance journalist  .  reformed jock .................................................................................... likes , naila, turkish food, football, people, sneakers, almost every single girl he sets his eyes on, kindness, cormac mccarthy, intelligence, arthouse film, his dog; kafka, newbury, nostalgia, autumn in newbury, spring in new york, writing workshops, sandalwood, spice, existential literature, his gang of friends, the odd bit of DIY, junk food, weed, getting a full nights sleep, paying it forward, wholesome memes, honesty, harry potter, being a gryffindor, experimental facial hair, falling in love, working out, video games, curating spotify playlists and forcing them on others, temazepam, marlboro reds, tinder, being mistaken for naila's dad. dislikes , falling out of love, awkward conversations, having to face up to the consequences of his actions, conflict, accusations of disloyalty, august's cooking, his chronic insomnia, time differences, apartment hunting, kafka's gas problems, cocaine, dishonesty, vacuous people, people assuming he's vacuous, slytherins, trump, republicans, having to say goodbye to naila, his brother, buzzfeed and having to write for them, boredom, superficial girls, islamaphobia, knowing he should give up caffeine, short beds, fasting, jonathan franzen. .................................................................................... .   h o m e    "This is gonna sound cliche, but fuck it, things are cliche because they're true. I used to think Newbury was my home, but now I know it's not Newbury, it's the friends I made there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm cheesy, get over it! It's really true. I grew up in this small town, the kind where the most interesting thing to ever happen was the mailman having a brief affair with the home economics teacher.. that was wild, people still talk about that to this day. It was a sleepy little town, very old school Americana, and I'm really grateful to be from there. I had a good time in high school, and all the years leading up to it. I did well academically and really excelled athletically... there was a time my nearest and dearest friends abandoned me, but I deserved it. All in all I had a charmed life. I guess I jinxed it for myself, no one could really be that happy, could they? Something had to be wrong. I can't even say being the only Muslim family in such a small town was ever an issue, my mom and dad were welcomed in just the same as everyone else, and I never felt different from my friends. At least, not until my brother went nuts. It's not my story to tell, so I'm not going to. But something happened and it ended my picture perfect life. My parents disowned me, my brother moved across the country, we still don't talk. It was bigger gossip than the mailman and the home ec teacher, but for much worse reasons. There was a time I thought I'd have to go too, since my parents moved out and I had nowhere to go... that's when my friends came into play, and let me know I was as welcome there as ever. I'm so grateful to everyone who opened their door to me, who still opens their door to me. I get a lot of open invites from Newburians and I'll always be grateful." .................................................................................... nick khan: in quotes , "Nick is more of a golden retriever than my actual golden retriever." "I know he goes on about it a lot, but he's not wrong, he really is a Gryffindor. Brave, loyal, total fucking glory hunter." "6'4", woke af and built like a brick wall? Fuck yeah I'd fuck Nick, who wouldn't?" "Have you seen how hairy he is?" "I remember Nick in high school, yeah. He was a total jock, but a loveable one... not the type to stuff you in a locker, even though he totally could. I heard he got fat in college?" "Nick seems nice, but so did Rafi. I honestly think it's Islam, it corrupts them." "Nicholas was always a nice young man. He carried my elderly mother's grocery shopping in for her, he was always polite in class, an all round good egg." "Nick said he loved me after our third date. He broke up with me on the fifth." "Nick Khan is as dumb as a box of rocks." "Uncle Nick is the bestest!" .................................................................................... freya ,  god, freya. what a superwoman. freya is my one-time sister-in-law, longtime pal. i can't tell you how stoked i was when rafi told me he was gonna propose, not just because i'm an old romantic, but because i fucking loved (and love) freya to bits. she was perfect! rafi was my idol and part of that was the fact he had such an incredible girlfriend, since freya was this insane combination of chill and determination. i've never seen anything like it. she's a young single mom with a promising career, and on top of that... i hate saying this. i still feel responsible, somehow... on top of that, she suffered horrific abuse at the hands of my brother. i still feel sick to my stomach every time i think about it. i think i always will. freya is hilarious. we've always gotten along stupidly well, we could exchange a look across the table at a family gathering and i'd have to get up and leave due to an overwhelming need to cry-laugh. she's so easy to be around, i can't remember an awkward minute with her.. well, besides the obvious. it's amazing to me that she can treat me with such warmth now, i wouldn't blame her at all if she cut me out when she cut him out. i used to ask her to, i was so worried about derailing her recovery so much. she told me to shut the fuck up. more than anything freya is the world's greatest mom. naila is the best thing in my life, even when she leaves me overly long voice notes singing pop songs i hate. that she could be such a happy, well adjusted little girl is a true testament to freya, who has done incredible things in getting the two of them back on track. i try to help out wherever i can. it's not a chore, like i said, naila is my favorite thing! but i can see how much of a handful she is, and i have no idea how freya does it. like i said, superwoman. rafi used to accuse me of having a crush on her, and i think he was right. who wouldn't? it was always a harmless thing, i knew she was my sister in law above all and i used to be so loyal to my brother. i'd never have dreamed of it coming to anything. not that it is now, it's just... sometimes i think about it, how nice it would be for the three of us to be a real family. ugh, what the fuck am i saying? we are a real family, i love those two more than life itself. freya's great, i haven't got a bad word to say about her.

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