pink and blue .

[jada carson]

Jada lays on her clean white sheets, the texture of eyelets and knots itch at her bare legs. A burly purple bouquet sits at the side of their bed and the scent of lavender wafts through the room. Green plants sit by the window, their leaves and stalks soaking up the rays of warm sun. If it wasn't for the circumstances, this would be a very romantic scene. It was so very Tumblr, if the webpage was only aesthetically pleasing photographs and not any nerd culture. Jada's bangs fall sticky on her forehead and her almond shaped eyes blink up at the ceiling. The front door creaks open and Jada's feet hit the floor. Quickly she grabs the handful of positive pregnancy tests and shoves them deep into the trashbin, making sure to cover them in a layer of toilet paper before abandoning the scene of the crime. “Hi,” she smiles at her favourite pair. Oliver has some how turned into a toddler and is grinning up at her with absolute cheekiness. She bends down to bug him with a kiss and he squirms deep into his stroller to avoid her affections. “Hi,” she repeats to Finn, her lips only hovering on his for a millisecond. She moves a bit eratically, trying a little too hard to act like she was fine. “Coffee? Breakfast? Eggos?”

[Deleted]

As a reward for sleeping through the night, Finn had taken Ollie out with him for a morning stroll. The toddler was a bundle of energy at the beginning of the trip, giddy from a night of full rest, and his father was much the same. However, somehow, since leaving the house elated both boys had tired. Oliver was cranky in his pushchair, grumbling away, and Finn had fielded a call from his pregnant daughter, screaming at him to convince her mom everything was okay. Feeling very much that everything was not okay, Finn had promised to speak to Sienna, and the thought made him want to throw his phone into the pool. Still, seeing an artfully dishevelled Jada greet them was enough to put a smile on his face. "Hi," he repeats back at her, going for a kiss but getting only a peck. Bemused, his eyes follow her around the room as he crouches down to release his mini-me from the stroller. "Coffee would be good," he said, picking Oliver up and resting him on his hip. "Eggos for you little man," he said, following Jada into the kitchen and leaning against the counter. "Did you sleep okay? Hope I didn't wake you."

[jada carson]

Jada's entire body feels busy with emotion. Her mind can't focus on thoughts and her body is a confused-nauseous. When Finn hopes that he didn't wake her, she laughs awkwardly. “No, you didn't.” She never really fell asleep, instead she'd had a series of naps. Twenty minutes of dozing followed by two hours of worrying, rinse and repeat. This was followed by an 8AM run to the pharmacy, where she picked up six pregnancy tests just to be sure. Though by the time the sixth showed positive, she wanted six more to prove the others wrong. The olive skinned brunette moves around the kitchen. Plucking frozen eggos into the toaster, and grinding up coffee beans. The smell of coffee makes her grow cold and turn a few shades lighter. “Did you have a good walk? It's pretty warm, I think it'll be hot today,” she removes the toasted eggos and drizzles maple syrup her Canadian cousin Holly gave her on them before cutting them up. “Here,” she lifts Oliver from Finn's arms and dumps him into his high chair. “Mmmm,” she smiles as she sets the plastic plate of waffles down. Ollie inspects them before he decides they'll do and shoves one into his mouth. “Do you think he'll ever learn to chew? He's like a puppy.”

[Deleted]

"Can you believe he slept through?!" Finn says, wondering if he's imagining that she's being weird. After all, all the women in his life were being weird lately, maybe it was something to do with the moon, or mercury being in retrograde, or whatever bullshit Savannah was always going on about. Oliver grins at this comment, as though his sleeping through was some sort of joke, something he did just to prove he could. "Are you sure?" he asks, looking at her with some concern, "you look tired. Still beautiful, obviously, but tired." He watches her move around the kitchen, a franticness to her body language that was so at odds with his usually relaxed ex wife. "We did, didn't we champ?" he grins at Oliver, "god, uncle Ollie. Imagine having an uncle who isn't even potty trained." Savannah's pregnancy was a great source of distress to Finn, who of course masked this by making excessive jokes about it. Freed from the burden of carrying his son, he takes a long sip of coffee, savouring the bitter taste. "Nah, his technique's perfect. Saves time."

[jada carson]

“It's because he's been so busy,” she raises her eyebrows at Ollie, her fingers pinching his cheeks and his chubby arms batting him away. Ollie was beginning to flip flop between favourite parents. Jada had been his favourite since he was born and he'd scream his head off if anyone but her tried to touch him for months. But now Finn was becoming a favourite and she guaranteed if Finn had pinched his cheeks, he'd have been killing herself laughing. She's not hurt by it, she actually gets a little thrill when Ollie gets a little irritated. “You know, 'you look tired', isn't something you're supposed to say to a woman, right? I thought you knew that?” she smiles, and pushed a fresh cup of coffee toward him. When he mentions Oliver being an uncle, she's at a new state of nauseous. She's in the midst of pulling a mug from the cupboard when he mentions potty training and the pink porcelain slips from her fingers. Miraculously Jada's fumbling hands catch it, and she breathes relief, turning at though nothing has happened. “I think he'll be perfect. Nothing to worry about.. his Uncley wisdom will be fresh and ready to share.”

[Deleted]

"I did say that you look beautiful, remember? Beautiful!" Finn watches as the toddler bats his mother's affection away, hiding a small smirk behind his mug. That's my boy. Oliver's insistent devotion to Jada had been almost too much to bear, since Finn had finally thought he'd have an ally in the form of his son. He supposed that was all to come. Of course Oliver would soon swap back to Jada as the chosen one, but for now he was pleased to have his moment of glory.  Watching as she fumbles, he's torn between lurching forward and laughing. Thankfully she catches it. "What's gotten into you?" he asks, noticing her cheeks have drained of colour. He puts his mug down, sidling up behind her, slipping his arms around her waist and kissing her neck softly. "Here," he says, pulling his arms under hers, gesticulating as if they belonged to her. "How about you let me do that for you before you smash the place up, She-Hulk," he says, taking the cup and pouring coffee into it, his movement awkwardly restricted.

[jada carson]

“It doesn't count,” she frowns playfully. She knew she looked like garbage. Her hair was messy, her skin was a mix of pale and tired, and though she tried to dress it up in a pretty dress, her body looked tired. She'd been tired for weeks and the littlest tasks seemed to make her want to take a long nap. The day her period didn't come, she knew. There was no question she was pregnant, no tricking herself into thinking she was a little late, it was an automatic knowing. The tests at the bottom of the bin were just confirmation of the fact. She sensitive when Finn touches her and flinches when he kisses her neck. “That's better,” she watches as he pours her a coffee and her head shakes against his chest. “A green tea. If I drink that I'll be wired and then I'll crash,” she slips from his arms and lets him finish the job. Hauling her small frame up on a bar stool. “Finn?"

[Deleted]

"It counts," he says, looking at her big blue eyes and prominent cheekbones. She was a woman who had never looked ugly a day in her life, not at the end of a two day bender, not even the day she gave birth. He scratches at the stubble that litters his jawline, wondering if he should shave today or not. He has no idea the inner turmoil going on in Jada's head, preoccupied with the thought of all the chores he had to get done today. He'd forgotten how much laundry babies required, eyeing the stack of onesies and soiled bibs that was piled up in a basket, ready to be taken to the utility room.  Stirred from his thoughts, he breathes in the scent of her skin, forever soothed by it. But she flinches as he kisses her, a surefire red flag. A little hurt, he lets her go. "There's as much caffeine in green tea, practically," he says flatly, his enthusiasm for the day dampened by her cold response. Then she says his name, and she says it in such a way that he steels himself. Leaning against the kitchen table, he steals a bit of Ollie's food, trying to seem nonchalant. "Mmm?"

[jada carson]

She wonders if she should tell him right now. Savannah had gotten pregnant and it was stressful enough that she was but it was more stressful that the father was a complete moron. Sav obviously didn't know this and Jada was prepared to give him the benefit of the doubt, but after meeting him she could confirm that he was a moron. While Savannah being pregnant made her worry, she couldn't imagine Finn. Though he talked enough about it, it seemed to take over ever conversation. Jada being pregnant sounded like a lot. So though she's about to say it outloud, she changes her mind. “The pool lining has a rip in it.. I think it needs replaced.”

[Deleted]

There had been many years where Finn had done everything he humanly could to avoid responsibility. Having been a young father and husband, as soon as he was freed of that relationship and his daughter stayed on with her mother, he had set about having the life he'd always wanted, binging and partying and dragging Jada down with him. It was worlds apart from the Finn who stood in the kitchen now, worrying about laundry and having taken the baby out to give her a lie in. That's why it hurt that she was obviously lying to him - it felt as though she didn't trust his reaction to whatever this news was. Sighing, he looked at her for a moment, urging her to come out with it. When she doesn't, he folds his arms. "Really? The pool lining. That's what's got you behaving like this?"

[jada carson]

Of course it was unavoidable. What was she going to do? Wait until Savannah had her baby and blame her own protruding belly on diet? Jada locks eyes with him, reading him for a reaction. Of course he was going to lose his mind. They were going to lose their minds together, because this was them together. This wasn't her pushing him away like with Oliver. There was going to be a reaction regardless and holding onto the words for another minute, hour, day or week wasn't going to solve much. She sighs and looks down into her hot cup. “Not the pool lining, but that does need fixed,” she tries to take a sip of the tea but it scorches her tongue and she feels stupid for it. “I'm pregnant.”

[Deleted]

Oliver looks between his parents, bemused by the situation. Finn goes to pick him up but thinks better of it, keeping his arms firmly folded across his chest. But this feels too defensive, and he wants Jada to open up to him, so he unfolds them. He can see her searching his face and he tries to encourage her, eyebrows raised and the ghost of a crooked smile on his lips, trying to coax it out of her. Old Finn would have stormed out or thrown a hissy fit at this game, but new Finn doesn't want to close the lines of communication. That is, until she comes out with it. The colour drains from his face, his heart slowing so much he's surprised he doesn't just up and die right there. Before he can stop himself he's shaking his head, straightening up. "No. No, you can't be," he says, head shaking vehemently. "No. No! No," he repeats, saying it differently each time, his voice raising, cracking, straining. "No... no." He looks at her, looks at her face and then down to her stomach, as though her not looking pregnant is proof of anything. "Are you sure? You must have made a mistake, we've been careful," he says, knowing it's untrue.

[jada carson]

When shit begins to hit the fan, Oliver stirs. With syrup dripping from his half full mouth he starts to wail and a sticky hand pulls through his brown hair as if to say, what the fuck, guys?. Jada stands up and still listening to Finn's protests, she runs a cloth over warm water. “Clearly not that careful,” she thinks of all the non-careful times. That drunken weekend away where she'd forgotten her pill pack and they'd both agreed it'd be fine. How naive? She wipes the cloth over a crying Ollie and lifts him from his chair, hugging his growing body against hers. “Shhhhh,” she speaks to them both. “Why don't you check the garbage in our bathroom? It's clean except the piss sticks.”

[Deleted]

It's hard to believe that this is what Finn had wanted for so long, given that he so vehemently does not want it now. As if on cue, the baby they already have starts wailing, letting them know that yes, it was a monumental fuck up. He's frozen to the spot, leaving Jada to attend to him. This can't be happening. He keeps opening his mouth to say something but the words won't come, he has no idea what's appropriate in this situation. Running a hand over his face, he feels clammy, trapped. He forces himself to get a grip. He knows it's real. Whilst it was possible to get a false negative reading, he knows that it's basically impossible to get a false positive. "How long have you known? How long has it been? Have you told anyone else about this?" Once he starts the questions keep coming, panic lacing his voice. "Fuck me Jada, we can't have another, this one almost killed me." Another thought strikes him and he feels like he's going to be sick. "What if it's born on the same day as my fucking grandchild? Oh my god, this can't be happening."

[jada carson]

She listens to Finn as chaos erupts in him. Ollie cries into her chest, his little lungs wailing harder the more Finn goes on. Is he upset at the change in atmosphere or is he upset at the possibility of not being her one and only. “Hush, it'll be alright,” she coos at him, kissing his soft head and rocking him in her arms. He doesn't give in and she begins to feel his tears soaking through. “I missed my period, I took a test this morning,” she kisses Ollie again and begins to pace in the kitchen, hoping the rhythm will settle him. “You need to stop. Both of you just breathe. Freaking out isn't going to solve anything, there's nothing we can do but move on with it. Quiet.”