pink and blue .

[Deleted]

Finn feels like he might be shaking. Having been so cheery a few minutes ago, it feels like the ground has opened up beneath him, you would think that this was the worst thing that could ever happen. Of course it was compounded by the Savannah situation, the full weight of which he had been diligently denying. But this was too much. His minds racing with a thousand thoughts, the idea of another awkward pregnancy terrifying him, then the idea of a wailing baby making him want to cry. But she's right. Forcing himself to breathe, he watches her with Ollie. "Here, I'll take him," he says, reaching out for the toddler. It's soothing to have him in his arms and he rests him against his shoulder, patting his back like he did when he was tiny. He quietens and it gives Finn a chance to think. Frowning, he takes a couple deep breaths, looking over at her. "Do you want to keep it?"

[jada carson]

He takes Ollie from her and she feels naked. Her arms want him back and she immediately misses the warmth of his little body, she even misses the tears soaking her chest. Apparently Finn finds the same comfort, as Ollie seems to calm him down. Ollie quiets, his hands hooking onto Finn's shirt. Jada wants to freeze that image and stow it away in her memory, it's too perfect. But his remark makes her feel angry. It's a question of choice that she'd expect to be asked, but she feels the answer is too obvious and the alternative to keeping it too vicious considering it's them. She begins to clean up the mess around her. “Yes, I do,” she says firmly, unattaching the table from the high chair and dunking it in the sink to be cleaned. “Don't you? I know it's a lot, but if you say you don't we're going to have a fight.”

[Deleted]

With Ollie melting into his chest, it's easy to think more positively about the thought of having another child... briefly. A grandchild would fill that desire for sure, and as angelic as Oliver was playing now, this was not the full reality of parenting, as the damp spot on Jada's dress could attest to. Finn can tell he's said the wrong thing as soon as he says it, Jada's movements going from frantic to obviously agitated. Was that the pregnancy hormones or had he crossed a line? Probably both. "I was just asking," he says defensively, though her response is not the one he wanted and he's trying not to let it show. He opens his mouth to reply, but the honest answer doesn't come out, not with what she's just said. "I don't know what I want," he half lies, though he knows that won't go down too well. "I need time to process it."

[jada carson]

She narrows her eyes at him when he claims he was just asking and her hands shove the sticky plate along with a few knives and forks into the dishwasher. Whilst Jada felt anxious about her recent circumstance, it was something that she very much wanted. She never imagined Ollie growing up as an only child and when he was born, she wanted a million more babies. She had especially wanted him to have a sibling close in age, so in many ways the timing was ideal. Though she understood why Finn would be on the fence. His timing wasn't perfect, and with Savannah now expecting he was suddenly launched into middle age. “It'll be fine,” she softens, her body language slowing to be less severe. She moves towards the pair and places a finger under Finn's chin. “It will be fine,” she pulls his face gently to meet her lips, her hand reaches around his neck and she creates an Ollie sandwich with their bodies. “Really, it will be.. Have a sense of humour. At least you're not puking.”

[Deleted]

Finn keeps rubbing the toddler's back, feeling the child start to doze, the grip on his shirt slackening. Ollie was a good shield, as Finn could easily imagine Jada's desire to stab him right now and her reluctance to do so while he was holding her favourite thing in the world. Watching her thrust things into the dishwasher, he tried to put himself in her shoes, to imagine how this felt for her... it didn't work, he still couldn't understand how she was so willing to dive headfirst into this so soon. After all, he'd waited seventeen years to have a second child. She goes to soothe him and it works instantly. Easing back onto the kitchen table, he heaves a heavy sigh. "Yeah," he agrees, though he hopes she's not fully decided. Did she mean it was fine, they could talk about it later? Or did she mean that her mind was made up, and it was going to be fine? He kisses her back. The next thing she says makes him think she means the latter, and ironically he has to swallow down the urge to puke. "I mean... it's your choice, but I hope I get some say."

[jada carson]

He softens in her grip and she smiles weakly. In her head she's telling herself that she's a fucking moron. Here is Finn, flipping out about himself and she's the one with an alien inside of her. Alien.. baby, whatever. How is she comforting him while she's the one who has been vomiting over the toilet and having a panic attack at 2AM. But still, her hand remains and she gently massages his neck. That is until he mentions choice and then his say, she pulls away. "No,” she says blankly and coldly. She removes her touch and walks back to tidying the kitchen. She wants to leave the room, but leaving the room meant abandoning conversation and that wasn't something she wanted to step down from. “I'm not having an abortion because of your midlife crisis. Why would you even consider that an option? How could you consider that while holding him?”

[Deleted]

What was it about women that made them so willing to pander to bad behaviour? Sienna had done it too, right up until she couldn't stand it anymore and snapped... and of course, she'd been painted as the psycho bitch in the process, despite Finn being a lazy dad and, of course, ultimately cheating on her. Blissfully unaware of his own inadequacies, he's placated by her sweet gestures... until she had enough too. Frowning at her, he rolls his eyes. "Fine Jada. You wanted a test tube baby, you got one. You want another straight after this one, fine, you have it. You play god, whatever, clearly I'm just a f--" remembering his baby is sleeping in his arms, he lowers his tone, cutting out the swear words. "Clearly, I'm a walking sperm bank to you. Got it. So sorry I tried to have an opinion about my own fu--" he sighs. "...My own children. You're right, I have no right to an opinion. I'm not suggesting throwing Ollie out, it's so stupid of you to compare something that's barely even a foetus to our son. Are you pro life now? Have I woken up in Westboro?"

[jada carson]

She watches as he rolls her eyes and she can't believe him. Loading a knife into the dishwasher she holds it in the air, “don't roll your eyes at me.” Glancing at the knife, she almost laughs at how accidentally threatening it is. But she's dry of humour and sticks it in to be washed. “You were literally baby hungry two months ago!” she puts on her best Finn voice, “'Jadaaaa, let's have another one. How fun would it be to make a baby the old fashioned way! How cool would it be for Ollie to have a sibling? Blah fu...cking blah.'” She glares at him when he suggests she's pro life. “Don't be an asshole. Just because I want to have another baby doesn't mean I'm pro life. Because I won't let you tell me to get an abortion.. isn't that a choice? You know, Finn. Maybe you should have your little meltdown at the Brookfield Retirement home.”

[Deleted]

Finn tilts his head at the knife, giving her an 'are you serious' look. As she laughs he can't help the corners of his mouth turning up in a grin, though the mirth is short lived. "I wasn't a granddad-to-be two months ago!" he hisses, desperate to raise his voice but limited by the baby. He knows he should go and put Ollie down so they can continue this conversation properly, but he feels he needs the security still. His bulletproof vest. "You comparing an unborn child to our toddler is a very pro-life move Jada, you know that's not what's going on. It's manipulative and it's BS. I'm not telling you to have an abortion! Like I could tell you to do anything! But I'm allowed an opinion, and my opinion is that it's too soon. Obviously you're gonna do what you want anyway, which is fine, but I have a right to be mad about that." He rolls his eyes again, looking down at Ollie in the hopes she doesn't catch it. "You can't have it both ways. Make fun of my age if you want, it doesn't help convince me to have another baby."

[jada carson]

“You know you being a granddad has nothing to do with your age. You're thirty something, not seventy something.” She glances at Ollie and he's still in Finn's arms. And though he's asleep during the argument, she still doesn't want him present. “Let's pause this for a minute,” she takes the sleeping baby from him, trying hard not to disturb him. Holding him close, Jada walks to his room and puts him down. Ollie doesn't stir, which is weird considering he's both a light sleeper and has just had a pile of sugar. Jada makes a mental note to check his temperature later. Returning to the kitchen, Jada frowns. “Be mad about it then. If it's your right to be mad then be mad, but it's going to happen so don't let yourself be mad for too long or you'll spoil the moment.” She huffs, the task of arguing making her exhausted. “You know it's a good time. Work is quiet for you, they'll be close in age and we're together. I know you're worried because Savannah and you think you're old. But I think it'll be good for Sav to have someone to share the experience with and to talk about things with. And really, you're not getting any younger.”

[Deleted]

"No, but it has a big impact on my life," he started, before being cut off. Sensibly Jada collects the child and deposits him in another room, though this leaves Finn feeling emptier now, just as she had when he took him off her. Missing the weight, he doesn't know what to do with his hands now, leaning back on the table and resting his palms on its edge. He couldn't believe he was having this awful conversation again, having had a similar (although much more tearful) one with Savannah just a few weeks ago.  She goes on and he can feel himself slipping deeper and deeper into despair, though his face remains placid. There was no point arguing it. All trace of his earlier good mood had vanished, leaving behind a dark cloud that he knew would cling to him for the foreseeable future. "I think you're being selfish," he said quietly. "She has you to share this experience with already, we have a baby. Don't make this about Savannah because you'll really piss me off." He sighs yet again, staring up at the ceiling. "Do what you want Jada, I don't care. I need to go call Sienna, I promised Sav."

[jada carson]

Jada looks at him in disbelief, her brows still pinched in a frown. “Fine,” she gives up and her frown comes loose. Jada moves past him and into her bedroom, resisting the urge to slam her door mostly because her son was asleep in the next room. She attempts to switch her mind off by taking a shower. The water is so hot that it makes her skin turn red and it's soothing as she turns her face into the faucet. The water pulls through her brown hair and she really indulges in the task of bathing. She must have been in the shower for ages, overdosing on lavender as everything in the shower was currently lavender scented. The room really reeks of it, especially as she pours moisturizer all over her body. Jada fits herself in her comfiest dress, stares at her reflection in the mirror for a few minutes and then lays down in her bed. She feels so stubborn that she considers never leaving her bedroom. Though she knows the screams of Oliver will eventually pull her from her room, right now she's fine with her wet head glued to her pillow.

[Deleted]

Depressed that things had taken this turn, Finn wordlessly lets Jada storm out. Picking up his phone, he dials Sienna's number, getting through on the second ring. Heading into the living room, he takes a seat next to Oliver, speaking quietly on the phone. As soon as Sienna hears his voice she's off on one, complaining about Savannah's boyfriend, harassing Finn over the fact he'd taken Savannah baby shopping without her, freaking out about Savannah's refusal to even consider going to college part-time once the baby was born. Letting her run her course, she eventually lets him speak. After defending his daughter for a while, and letting her know Ollie was doing good, he lets slip that Jada's pregnant again. "Oh Finn," Sienna says, in the weary tone he knows so well. "You're such a fucking idiot." Getting off the phone with his first ex wife, he hears that his second must be out of the shower. Glancing at Ollie, he gets up and heads to the bedroom door, leaning on the doorframe. "Sienna says I'm an idiot," he says, looking at Jada laying on the bed. He comes and sits next to her, putting one hand on the other side of her so he can lean over to see her face. "She's right, I am. Are you okay?"

[jada carson]

Jada grabs a pillow from Finn's side of the bed and hugs it to her chest. Her body feels so anxious she can hardly breathe and the elevation helps. Though shower has helped calm her nerves and she feels less numb that she did a half an hour ago. The shock still hangs over her body. Not only the shock of Finn's dramatic reaction, but the idea that she was pregnant again. She'd be raising babies and her years were set. She suddenly feels more nervous about the future and Finn's negativity begins to swarm her brain. What if this were a mistake? Finn enters the room and she doesn't look at him. When he sits to look at her, she glances to a bare spot in the room. “You are,” she agrees. She tries to be stubborn but her need to be close takes over and instead she reaches out for his hand.

[Deleted]

The scent of lavender hangs heavy in the air. He should have known that something was up, Jada had become obsessive about scents in her first pregnancy, bathing in one and despising another to the point of revulsion. She looked tiny on the bed all curled up like that, and he felt a pang of guilt spread through his chest. As she takes his hand he feels all the worse, leaning down to kiss her shoulder, squeezing her hand back.  "You'll make yourself sick," Finn says, pushing damp hair off her face. It was something he'd heard her mom say to her, though he'd always felt it unlikely in the warmth of LA. Trying to get past the anxiety he felt about the situation, he let her go, only to go round to his side of the bed and lie beside her, close, putting a hand on her hip and giving it a little squeeze. "It'll be okay. We're lucky, money's not a problem, we can be flexible with work, we make great babies."