pay no mind .

[athena mccarthy]

We pay no mind The Passages Clinic reminds Athena more of a resort than a hospital. Enveloped with palm trees and complimented by Greek columns, the creamy stone makes it seem wealthy rather than clinical. While hospitals smell of sanitizer, celebrity rehab carries whiffs of eucalyptus. She has to ask a passerby if this is Passage the rehab facility, as she's a little afraid that she's stepped onto some rich guy's property. He releases a well practised laugh and smiles broadly, assuring her that she is where she thinks she is. Inside is more ridiculous. She wonders if marble floors aid in the healing of addictions and if the constantly flow of diffusers has made Isaac forget about heroin. The receptionist is pretty. Like, really pretty. It is as if they hosted a casting for her role, as if this is improv experience and she's thinks some famous drugged up director will see her and hire her on the spot. “Isaac McccccAvoy,” her large lips drag out his name in a Texan accent. She spends some time on the phone and then turns up, “if you walk straight down that hallway, it'll take you to the pool. He should be there, honey.” Thea recognizes his shaggy head instantly. Isaac has a constant look of dishevelment, even when he's well groomed. He reminds her of an unruly schoolboy, with the attitude to match. She reaches for the sunglasses out of her purse and plops down in the chair beside him. She pulls the glasses over her eyes and turns to him with a smirk, “so this is rehab, huh?”

[isaac mcavoy]

The upside of being in a lush rehab clinic when you weren't currently battling your addiction was that it essentially became a spa. A spa you couldn't leave, yes, but still, there were worse places to be incarcerated. A few weeks of this had brightened Isaac's skin, cleared the dark shadows under his eyes and even made his hair a little shinier, though it was still sticking out in all directions. When he was told he had a visitor by a beautiful nurse, he opened his mouth to say there'd been a mistake, Kendra was in Milan or Paris or something... only for the nurse to be proven right. Turning to follow that iconic voice, Isaac's face breaks out into a big grin. "What the ever loving fuck are you doing here?" he asks, getting up and opening his arms for a hug. "Did they finally get you for sex addiction? I knew they would, it was only a matter of time." He pushed his sunglasses up onto his head, looking at Athena properly. "Christ. Did they rope you into this?" He asks, pointing at some members of staff. His expression turns skeptical, "... did Kenny put you up to this?"

[athena mccarthy]

We pay no mind The beachy blonde crosses her long legs in the lounge chair. The sun is bright, but she shimmies her glasses down her nose to get a better look at Isaac. He was here, but she didn't expect him to be. She thought that he thinks were running smoothly. His band was going well and sure, there was a death in his bandmate's family, but that was more a bump on someone else's road. Athena was startled when she heard he was back in rehab. Addictions were a lifelong fight and she wasn't naive, she just had hoped that Isaac would heal without scars. There's surprise on his face and it makes her smirk grow into a toothy smile. “Surprise!” she flicks her hair dramatically and turns her body to face him. “I was in town, so I thought I'd drop by.. but they sold me on the VIP package and I'm locked in.” She smiles genuinely and reaches for her purse, “no, seriously. I had nothing to do today and thought of you. Look, I brought you a care package,” she pushes her bag full of candy toward him.

[isaac mcavoy]

Even in a facility full of out of control models and disgraced actresses, Athena looked like a goddess as she stretched out on the lounger. "Surprise is fucking right!" he echoed, still looking around as if he was going to spot a hidden camera crew somewhere behind the palm trees. By far the worst thing about being here was the endless boredom, tedium that stretched out over hours and then days. It didn't matter that Zac had become such a homebody since his last stint here, that sunbathing and sleeping was all he really tended to do when at home, being forced to do it was much worse. Between that and the compulsory therapy, he was so happy to see a fresh face it made him giddy.  "Don't taunt me, you don't know what I'd do to have a friend in here. I keep praying someone I know relapses," he said, though he felt guilty even suggesting it in jest. His eyes light up at the candy, and he looks at her as through she'd just given birth to his child. "You're an angel. A literal angel." Grabbing his robe and chucking it over his shoulder, he nodded, gesturing for her to get up. "Come on, I'll give you the grand tour and on the way, you can confess why you're actually here. Shall we start with my room?"

[athena mccarthy]

We pay no mind The palm trees and the salt water pool, this is a snapshot she's taken before. It's such a scene she's used to, though usually there's a bunch of people chattering in bathing suits. These people have lazy bodies and dull eyes, like they're tired to be there. Isaac looks healthier, there's no doubt about that. But he looks bored. Though she's sure sitting by a pool and indulging rich people isn't his idea of fun. She wonders if he could snap his fingers and they'd deliver something more ideal for him. “We could have a daily couples massage and facials,” she suggests. She wonders if a place like Passages offers therapy programs and not just pretty marble floors and infinity pools. “Please, I want to know if there's more to the chandeliers.” She lifts herself from the lounge chair and swings the purse full of sweets over her shoulder. “First off, I did genuinely want to see you and know how you're doing. Are you feeling better? I'm sorry about Joe's dad, that must have brought stuff up.”

[isaac mcavoy]

Isaac knows how it looks. When Kendra visited and he implored her to free him from this jail, she had looked at him like he was being an absolute brat. Of course it was understandable. This place was costing him an absolute fortune and that money didn't go to nothing, with Egyptian cotton sheets, deep tissue massages, scented candles... he had missed all this the first time round, when he'd been sweating through those sheets and the idea of being touched made him want to scream. "I'm feeling fine," Isaac says, a little sharply. "I haven't touched heroin since I last left here, it's fucking stupid that I'm here at all." Frustration bubbling up, he sighs. "Sorry. I can't leave 'til Kendra says so, and she's being annoying about it. Anyway! Here's the pool, where we're encouraged to meditate... and just through here is the elevator, I'm up on the third floor." He gets in, pushing the button and leaning against the wall, smiling at her. "You're a sight for sore eyes... I'm really glad you came, I was losing my mind."  The lift pings as she mentions Joe's dad, sending a sharp pang through his chest. Joe hadn't replied to his letter, and the idea of his best friend suffering the way he had as a teen... it didn't bear thinking about. Instead, he channelled his misery into frustration at not being able to leave this place and be with him. "Thanks, sweet of you to say. I'm fine... have you heard anything about how he is? We're not speaking, I think he thinks I've really relapsed."

[athena mccarthy]

We pay no mind Athena hears his voice becoming defensive and she shrugs, “honestly, babe, I didn't hear anything about it. I don't know why you're here.” She doesn't ask though, knowing that if he wanted to talk about it he would and she would listen. The blonde had an understanding of addiction, but didn't feel addicted to anything. She was aware when she was developing a habit, and usually tapped the brakes. Though a bit blunt and brash, she was a self-aware person. While Isaac wanted to let know, she wanted to hold on tight. “Is that what you were doing? Meditating?” she asks with a little grin. The blonde leans the on the opposite side of the elevator and puckers her lips, “I'm probably the least exciting of your visitors... has Kendra been around much?” She pauses a minute, knowing the mutual dislike between her cousin and Isaac. She hears about Joe constantly through Aisha but her information was always a little bias when it came to her relationship. “I think Aisha said he's having a hard time.. I don't think it has anything to do with you, I'm not sure if he's even thinking about you as mean as that sounds. He's not thinking about her either. He sounds very shut out.”

[isaac mcavoy]

Her indifference is just what Zac needs, having been so sick of the barely masked concern on everyone else's faces when he protested his innocence. It calms him, giving him a moment to collect his thoughts and not jump to calling Kendra a vindictive bitch. "I had a bit of a bender at a music festival. Well, I guess before... I was taking a lot of drugs," he says, glancing around in case there were spies, though he had admitted all this before. "To Kenny I guess a drug's a drug, but to me that's insane. Taking a load of ketamine and popping a few pills isn't the same thing as shooting up, Christ, I fucking wish." It was exactly this kind of comment that was keeping him here, actually, since the clinicians half-agreed about the difference, but were uncomfortable with his obvious affection for his former addiction. "Slippery slope, or whatever." He laughs at the question as they step out into the hallway, leading her down to his room. "Yeah, needed a break from all the jerking off I've been doing," he says, holding open the door to the room. It was like any vanilla five star hotel room in the world, plush settings and expensive fittings, completely devoid of character. However, there was no lock in place, and he had a feeling he was being monitored at all times. "I hope he's not thinking about me, but I hope he's not too shut out either. Oh man, poor dude." He slumps onto the couch. "I'm being an ass, stop letting me talk about myself, tell me about you! What's up, how's life? It's been ages."

[athena mccarthy]

We pay no mind She listens to him but keeps her opinion to herself. Of course she agrees with Kendra and she understands where she's coming from completely. Different drugs that lead you to the same place - an escape. Athena wasn't an expert, but she would probably hold the same concern if Isaac was her boyfriend. “I'm sure she's not doing it to be controlling, it's probably coming from a place of concern. But you know, it'll get sorted out. Nothing is forever,” she tries to pull him of his slump. No matter how they dress it, this place is depressing and she feels it within five minutes of being here. “Well, sometimes release is the best medicine. I'm glad to hear you're taking your recovery seriously,” she glances at him cheekily, her eyes turning to the warmly lit room as he holds it open. She spots bits of Isaac, but it's definitely not his space. She can't help but ask, “did they promise to take you to Disneyland and just drop you off at fancy rehab?” The tanned blonde sets herself on the bed across from him and crosses her legs. “He'll be okay,” she shrugs, not being able to offer up much more. “But I love hearing you talk about yourself! Narcissism is such a valuable and understated trait.” She smiles before pressing a finger to her plump lips thoughtfully, “life's good... work is still good - really busy, I'm lucky. Though I'm facing a bit of heat. I might have said something about a guy from a band called feline's bed or something, and someone might have put it together. Might have.”

[isaac mcavoy]

"What does a twenty-one year old know about addiction?" he replies, entirely unfairly. "Yeah, you're right. Do me a favor and tell her that I'm fine, won't you? 'Cause I really am." Hearing how desperate he sounds, he tries to stop himself from falling at her feet and all out begging. Though he'd do it if he thought it'd earn him a ticket out of here. There are a couple books on the bedside table, a guitar and a few worn notebooks, but other than that it was as if he was never there. A note from his therapist with the next group session topic was laid on the freshly made bed, though this too Isaac ignored. "I blacked out, came to in an ambulance... then came to again here. Honestly thought I'd gone back in time, but I checked, my track marks are still healed," he said, pulling up his sleeve to reveal them. "Thank you, so many people don't appreciate my rampant narcissism... trust a podcast host to get it," he said, offering her a sly grin. As she talks he furrows his bushy brow, trying to make sense of it and coming up short. He sits up, tilting his head. "You what? Stop talking in riddles. Actually, I've gotten really used to people talking in a soothing almost-whisper, whatever you're getting at, can you say it like that?"

[athena mccarthy]

We pay no mind She shakes her head and smiles kindly, “no, no. I won't get involved.” Athena makes herself at home pulls herself backward so her legs are on the bed. She greedily rips open a bag of Twizzlers but pauses to pass a look of concern. Though she and Isaac were friends, they weren't close and she feels naive for thinking she knew him better. “Oh, Zac. Obviously people freaked out, I would have lost my mind.” Poor sweet Kendra wouldn't have known what else to do other than put him in a car and send him to a lavish rehab center. It seemed unfair for Isaac to cuss her out when she was just doing what she thought would help. Though to be left alone would be difficult and for now she was glad she took the time to drop in. “I don't know if you listen, but I had Aisha on a while ago. Bands came up and you did, vaguely. And really, it's a show where we talk about guys we've fucked and I think anyone I fuck knows I'll probably talked about it. So I talked about fucking you, VAGUELY. But people have caught on. Just letting you know.”

[isaac mcavoy]

Instinctively, Isaac reaches for his phone - only to remember he wasn't allowed one. Still, the facility furnished him with an iPod full of pre-approved music. Selecting Metronomy, he throws it onto the speaker and tries to pretend they're anywhere but here. Athena makes for an easy distraction. Watching her as she sprawls out on the bed, he can remember that fateful night the year before, when she'd first walked backstage with Aisha and he'd felt that old familiar pull towards bad decisions. The grin turns more sincere as she speaks, and he's pleasantly surprised by how much interest she showed. "I'm fine. You're sweet," he says, reaching over and stealing himself a Twizzler.  Munching on the candy, he distorts his face in disgust as she mentions his rival for Joe's affections. "I do listen, I swear. Love it. But I skipped that one, I can't fucking stand her," he glances over at her, remembering their relation, "no offence." As she talks, his chewing starts to slow, his brain just about processing this information. Finally, he breaks into a smile, wider than any that preceded it. "What did you say? Be honest, you know I'm gonna listen to it the second you leave. Give me the brutal truth, I want a full review."

[athena mccarthy]

We pay no mind Athena sits cross legged on fresh bedsheets and munches on the sweet red candy. The music plays a steady beat and she wiggles her foot to it, momentarily trying to recall who sings but but gives up when he mentions Aisha. She laughs widely and nods agreeing, “she's a lot.” Her little cousin was always hyper for attention and getting her way; often Athena wondered if Aisha had ever heard the word 'no' in her life. But she forgave her, probably because Aisha gave her an easier time than she did others. While Isaac received the entire opposite and was given her full wrath. “You have to understand her family.” She tips her head to smile up at the ceiling, her long hair tickling her back. She's relieved over how easy going he is, as she's had plenty of negative feelings surrounding similar situations. “Thank god you're so cool,” she pulls another licorice apart and bites into it. “I think I said how I was surprised that you were actually good, because usually musicians are so full of themselves. That you were equally good with your hands and mouth. Positive reviews, mostly. I think I said that musicians are notoriously unfaithful.”

[isaac mcavoy]

Watching her eat, having been trapped in here for so long, he feels a deep longing to push her back on the bed and have his way with her. Still, if Dr Patel's seminars on self restraint had taught him anything, it was that short term gains weren't worth the long term price. What price would that be? Kendra, of course... though only if she found out. Erring dangerously close to revisiting past self-destructive behaviours, Zac tries to focus on what she's saying instead of how good she looks as she says it. "Oh yeah, I hear her cousin's a real bitch. Has this crazy show where she brags about how many guys she's boned, really questionable content." "I am very cool," he agrees, though he's starting to worry that she's going to say something he won't want to hear. As it is, his smile spreads even wider. "God Athena, how terrible. Now everyone's gonna know that I fucked a smoking hot blonde and left her satisfied, how am I gonna live with that?" His smile falters as she mentions faithfulness, a sting in the compliment that he feels unjustified, though he was literally fantasising about cheating on his girlfriend mere moments ago. "Well, I guess that's true. I forgive you. Has anyone ever not forgiven you? I can't really hold it against you when you're just telling the truth."

[athena mccarthy]

We pay no mind She rolls her eyes at him, “oh yea, brags. Totally bragging.” It's funny how the podcast had turned out so positively, when it's first couple of years had been nothing but negatively. She'd had a boyfriend when she started it, but after a few months of her being so open about her relationship, her boyfriend left. He couldn't handle it, but she couldn't blame him. Through trial and error, she was learning how to have such a podcast and protect her relationships. Now, most of what she spilled was for theatrics. She would never truly leave a relationship so exposed. Still, many couldn't handle exposure even if names weren't shared. "Your fans might think you're nothing but a hot-blooded dude. I just want you to be aware this might give you away,” she grins, truly glad by how well he was receiving it. “Oh, shush with that face,” she waves at him, noticing as his smile fell. “You're too kind. For sure. I would say less are good with it than not, but it has gotten better. I never use names unless we're interviewing. Sometimes guys think I'm talking about them, but it's not them I'm talking about. But mostly people know about the podcast, they know what to expect.”