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[athena mccarthy]

She feels like a teenager again in her childhood bedroom. Her curvy body is bundled in her silky blush duvet and her face is bright with a flirty grin. Her thumbs softly punch the screen of her iPhone (instead of her 2008 Blackberry), and she sends off texts to Julian. When she catches her reflection in the mirror to her right, she's embarrassed about the moment - Athena might as well her seventeen again. Aside from embarrassment, she's suddenly at a loss of confidence. Her week long of, 'Christmas calories don't count!', has made her face look tired and a couple of blemishes sprout. She pushes her duvet off herself and reaches for her make-up bag. Fluffy brushes buff the redness and continuous hangovers away, and a little brow and eye mascara wake up her face. Athena pulls a lower cut long sleeve top over her torso and switches out her pajama pants for butt hugging sweats - she tries a little too hard to appear effortlessly sexy. "Sneaking out?" Cassius appears in the hallway as Athena tugs her sneakers on. "Just going for a run," she smiles sweetly and shrugs. He narrows his eyes at her and she sighs, "a run over to the Buchanan's." Cassius nods his head, "ah, memory lane. Have fun." She could walk to Julian's with her eyes shut. Her legs know the directions so well that she could trust them to take her there. While Piper lets Cassius have his say in cheesy Christmas decorations, Mrs. Buchanan has clearly takes control of this house. Each light is evenly lit, and a balanced golden glow brightens each edge of the house in an elegant form. While Athena loves her dad's outrageous taste in decorations, she has to admit that this is more her style. She presses her back against a concrete pillar by the garage and texts Julian, "hi."

[Deleted]

Illness had given Julian a convenient excuse to relegate himself to his room, though he and his family knew that that's what he would have been doing even had he been in full health. Christmases had become unbearable since around the time he had started studying law, his apparent interest in towing the family line making them all feel like they should include him more, whilst as a sullen teenager he had mostly been overlooked. It was enough to make him sick. Thankfully, the flu had long since passed, and now Julian lounged in his room in boxers and a t-shirt, happily unbothered by the Buchanan clan, save for the odd interruption by the maid. His sheets were fresh, and the oppressive room aired out - it was as inviting as it was ever going to be, which wasn't much.  Dark wood panelling lined the room, its windows darkened by the shadow of a big oak tree. Books lined the walls but were also piled up everywhere, particularly in corners and beside the bed, first editions mixed in with the plastic covers of those he'd stolen from school. Boxing medals hung haphazardly from a shelf, a battered pair of leather gloves over the open door of a wardrobe. The maid had tidied around his mess but it was so much a part of the room that no one even noticed it anymore, a marked contrast to his hyper-neat apartment. For the first time in almost ten years, Julian felt a bit embarrassed about the state of the room, imagining his blonde bombshell of an ex having to fight her way through the clutter. Oh well, maybe it'd be nostalgic. Before he could even think to do anything about it, his phone buzzes and she's here. Pulling on some grey sweatpants to go with the white tee, he takes the grand staircase two at a time, slipping past the main living space and into what was once the servants quarters, before opening a back door, so seldom used that it's covered in ivy. "Hi," he says shortly, taking her in. This is the Athena he's more used to, though the sight of her from the Christmas party had stayed with him. "Come on, while they're still looking at Tripp's vacation pictures."

[athena mccarthy]

As familiar as Julian's family home was, it was strange to be waiting outside in the shadows for him. This was a pattern she hadn't walked before. When she was a teenager she'd wait at the door and his parents would tell her off for even knocking. They'd loved her - or loved where she came from, she was never 100% sure. She imagined the look on his father's face as he went to take out the garbage and caught her standing in the shadows of the oak trees. But that wasn't a reality that was going to come true as he never took out his own garbage. A door cracks open and she jumps a little, her hand grabbing her chest and laughing. "Hi!" she's charming even as she leans over to grab her breath. She sneaks past him into the door and her curious eyes gaze into the room. It's coated in memories of them sneaking around. Each of them so thirsty as they pushed each other against walls and left trails of clothing through the quiet quarters. "I like your pants," she whispers, pushing her leg against his to show that hers were similar if not the exact same. She's shy about her familiarity of the house and lets him take the lead. Through the large house she hears his mother explain something happily. And though Athena can't make out the words, she smiles anyway. "Everything's changed," she mentions, her hand tracing over a freshly painted wall.

[Deleted]

Julian's mother pontificates on her visit to Costa Rica, her thick French accented voice carrying through to the foyer. It felt funny to have Athena lurking behind him as he led her through the house, acting as if she hadn't spent a huge chunk of her childhood here. "I like your pants," he whispers, feeling about fifteen years old. It's so nostalgic that for a moment it's easy to forget that he's not a teenager and she's not his girlfriend. As a teen he wouldn't have been able to wait until the relative safety of his bedroom, he would have been so keen that he would have had to pull her into an alcove and kiss her. He's surprised by how much he feels that now, by just how intensely attracted he is to her in her sweatpants, by how easily he's forgotten the podcast. Still, he resists, leading her through the palatial home. "Really?" he says, furrowing his brow. He felt like this place never changed a bit, but now that she said it he could see that she was right - there was fresh paint on the walls, and pictures had been updated to include his siblings' spouses and babies. Maybe it was just he who had failed to adapt. He pulls her into his room, firmly closing the door behind her. Now in safety, he took the opportunity to smile at her again. "Hi," he repeated, laughing a little at the absurdity of the situation. Before he could help himself he pulled her down onto his four poster bed with him, pulling her body close to his as he would have done when they were young. "What do you wanna watch?" he asks, fishing for the remote and finding it under his duvet. A huge flatscreen TV was pushed up to the foot of his bed, and he drew the curtains around them and it, creating a little fort. "Seeing as you ruined the whole Bird Box plan."

[athena mccarthy]

"Mhm," she nods, the fresh neutral palette was a huge contrast to the wallpaper that was once glued to the wall. Her eyes gather the pictures on the wall. The family of models looked like they were posing for Vogue in each picture. Even the babies seemed to have adopted the smize and it makes her smirk, "that's cute." Athena is in awe when they enter his room. It was like opening a time capsule. Everything is kept just as it was ten years ago, she wants to reach out and touch everything - feel it's familiarity. But then she's pulled onto the bed and it's more familiar than she expects. She grins wide in his arms, "hi." She bites her lower lip thoughtfully, the palms of her hands finding the surface and pushing her body up. "I want to watch it again," she nods decisively. She begins to pile cushions into a mountain, "so you can tell me about the theories as they happen." Her frame collapses onto the pillows and she rests a leg on Julian; she's hungry for physical contact. "Did you see the meme where Sandra is a Ninja Turtle?"

[Deleted]

The familiar Netflix logo pulses onto the screen, opening up to a rare sight: a Netflix account with only one person attached to it. Julian did not like to share anything, be it personal details, casual conversation or indeed a streaming log in. It had deeply annoyed his ex girlfriend Violet, who had wanted to share everything - an apartment, a bank account, a future. She was probably the last person he had watched Netflix with and that was over a year ago - somehow, sleeping exclusively with escorts had saved him from the euphemistic practice of Netflix and Chilling.  He grins as she starts to pile up cushions, idly clicking through tacky show after tacky show. "You know I'll lose my mind if you talk through it," he says, already itching at the prospect. He settles over 'Forensic Files', which Netflix invites him to continue watching. It had been his favourite show for as long as he could remember, and given that there was over 400 episodes, he mostly forgot about them by the time it came to rewatching. "I didn't see it. Don't show me," he says, having an ardent commitment to avoiding meme culture. "I'm gonna say we should watch Forensic Files. Failing that, Bojack."

[athena mccarthy]

She cocks her head to the side, "the memes are one of the best parts of Bird Box? At first I thought people were stupid until I saw a few I resonated with." She watches the screen as he clicks through title after title. The rainbow of colours spew from the large screen and onto the covers, she wonders what he'll settle on. Athena shared her account with her parents. Her Netflix was a mess of titles. You'd think she had multiple personality disorder from the way she watched it, her suggestions were so different from one to the other. He pauses on Forensic Files a little too long for her liking. She sighs dramatically and throws her hands to her face, "ughhhh." Huffing, she sits up and pries the remote from Julian's fingers. "It's fine to watch alone. It's fine to watch when I want to watch it too, but not right now," she flicks through titles, finally landing on F is for Family and clicking onto it. "I can't believe you haven't watch a single episode! Do you have something against Bill Burr?"

[Deleted]

"No memes," he says firmly, "I don't have a sense of humour, remember? Wouldn't work on me." It was an accusation that had been flung at him many times over his lifetime, even a few times by Athena herself, though usually in jest or the heat of an argument. He was a very serious person and he knew it, but it was something that stung-- it made him feel like he must be boring to other people. That was always his core concern when it came to their relationship, that the sparkling, dazzling Athena McCarthy could only be bored by him for so long. He wasn't at all surprised that so many people enjoyed listening to her chatting shit with her friends on podcasts, she was blessed with a deeply engaging personality. He sighs as she settles on something else, but doesn't fight her on it. Settling in next to the mountain of cushions, he propped a single one behind his head. "You're gonna fuck your back up if you lie like that," he adds, gesturing to the heap of soft fabric. The show starts and he tries to focus on it, the bright colours attracting the eye but the strangeness of the situation making it difficult for him to pay attention. After a while he turns to look at her, watching her watch the screen. "Happy New Year, by the way. Weird to be seeing it in with you."

[athena mccarthy]

"Oh shhh," she hushes him. There were plenty of times she had laughed so hard at Julian that she got cramps. She remembers once laughing cola out of her nose and catching his mother looking at them both with disgust. Athena was charming on the surface and she knew how to make someone want to be in her circle. But she felt it was Julian that made them want to stay - or at least made her want to stay. She looks at him daringly and sits back into her pillow throne, "I laugh in the face of danger." She grins and focuses her eyes on the screen. Kevin Murphy curses at his dad and slams his bedroom door - a reoccurring moment in the series. "Happy New Year, Jules. I like it, I think we did the same thing ten years ago." She rests her cheek on a pillow and looks over at him, "do you have a button for champagne service?"

[Deleted]

It gave Julian a real kick to think of his family two floors below them, chatting away, completely unawares that Athena McCarthy was in their household. They were so conflicted about her-- she ticked so many boxes for them, but her podcast was so damning. But then again they had lost all hope in Julian, and Athena had been the thing that made them feel like maybe not all was lost - his father certainly credited his starting law school with their break up, and appreciated Athena for that. It was a complicated relationship, one that was made more confusing by the McCarthy affection for Julian - far from caring about his breeding and education, they had always appreciated how happy he made her and seen how happy she made him, and that uncomplicated relationship had wound up making Julian more affectionate towards Piper and Cassius than he was his own flesh and blood. He grins at her. She brought a natural happiness with her, like she personified the LA sunshine. "Crazy, that feels like five minutes ago and forever ago all at the same time." He laughs, leaning back and rubbing at his face as he considered the question. "I can call Dorota, she'll bring us cheese fondue and champagne, no questions asked. She'd even be happy to see you. But it'd stress her out to keep secrets from my parents, so either we should go down and say hi, or I can just go fetch it for you."

[athena mccarthy]

Athena was surprised with how relaxed she felt in the moment. On the way over she'd been so nervous that her fingers shook. But back in history she felt natural. She found his bedroom was like her own living room. So used to spending time within it's walls, it was normal to be so relaxed. The bad blood between them was under the rug for the moment. The bitterness she'd felt from him had faded, but surely wasn't forgotten. She thinks about how it would feel if she were to snuggle her body into his and rest her head on his chest. Would it fit the pattern and would their shapes still fit. But she doesn't close the space between them. "It's amazing," she looks at him and smiles softly. Amazing was the word for it, how was it like this when everything was so sour? "Oh, Dorota!" she squeals a little, suddenly remembering the rounded always-happy woman. "Can we please? It'd be so wrong to not say hi!" faints backwards, as though winded. "I can't believe I forgot she existed. I'm horrible! God, I missed her!"

[Deleted]

This was his little secret, and having her here felt like a final triumph against the family that he felt so ostracised by over the last couple weeks. It wasn't something he felt particularly bitter about, but Julian's obvious difference from his siblings and parents felt heavy when he was at home like this, oppressive, even. The frustration of his not being what they wanted him to be and their expectations of him was mutually draining, his oddness compared to his siblings made everyone feel uncomfortable. Athena had actually bridged a gap between him and them back when they were dating, even if his mom had found them sporadically distasteful - she was the kind of girl they wanted him to be with. Julian knew that if they went downstairs Athena would handle the situation with grace, and the thought made him feel ill. She was his now, if that happened, he would be sharing her. After two weeks of feeling like all he did was compromise, he wasn't willing to give her up. "Can we not?" he asks, even pouting a little. It warmed his heart to see her reflect fondly on Dorota, as this meant more to him than if she had been keen to speak to Beatrice and Tripp, though he liked Bea enough. Dorota was a neutral party and had always had his back. Unable to help himself, he slipped an arm around her waist and pulled her a few inches closer to him, though he didn't dare let their bodies touch. "Let's keep this secret for now. I'll tell Dorota you asked after her, she'll be touched."

[athena mccarthy]

She huffs dramatically. Though she understands and to be honest, it's definitely for the best. Seeing his family would bring nothing but drama. She would stun his mother and give his father a heartattack. Though his family had loved her while they were teenagers, it was mostly brought on by her charm and her genepool. She hadn't heard anything about their opinion of her podcast, but like most cases - she assumed they weren't fans. Her career had blemished many opinions of her. Given the Buchanan's outlook on manners, status and minding your own, she could make the guess that she wasn't welcome. Julian pulls her closer and the touch of him makes her fill full of static. She pouts and her head falls to his shoulder for half a second. "Okay, okay, call down and get it then," she acts more upset than she is. "But if you leave, I'm gonna snoop so hard. So maybe it's in your best interest just to call her up," she knows how much he hates sharing himself. Though there's probably nothing here that she hasn't seen before.

[Deleted]

It was funny that Julian felt quite so out of place in his family, when he actually personified many classic Buchanan traits. He was silent in the face of suffering, stoic, private in the extreme. He was in fact more private than any of his other family members, which took some doing. The key difference was that his shyness was rooted in a fundamental disinterest in the vast majority of people, rather than any sense of propriety or status. Similarly, when Athena spilled intimate details of their relationship anonymously on the airwaves, it wasn't embarrassment he felt so much as genuine confusion. For someone who gave nothing about himself away, it was unthinkable that anyone would volunteer to go online and spill every intimate detail they could think of. Of course that was her business, and clearly there was an appetite for it, but it seemed to Julian strange and, more than that, distasteful. But it was easy to forget about it now. With her head settled on his shoulder, he can smell her familiar scent and it's so much more nostalgic than anything else in this time capsule of a room. "Snoop away," he says, pulling away and standing up. There isn't another soul alive he would leave alone to root around his belongings, but he feels like Athena knows everything there is to know. Feeling strangely less vulnerable than he should, he scoots downstairs and chats warmly to Dorota, who comments on his good mood. Pulling a bottle of champagne out of the fridge, he grins at her when she asks what's got him so high spirited, offering only a wink in response. Returning to the room with two flutes and the bottle, he collapses back onto the bed. "Did I tell you we have CCTV now? My parents are talking about how rude you are for not saying hello," he lies, expertly twisting the bottle and holding the cork still so that it pops off cleanly. "Champagne? It's vintage."

[athena mccarthy]

Although her public persona was that of a very open person, Athena was secretive and private. Which is why she was also surprised how easy talking about Julian and her was. She never talked about it to be malicious, but she knew that he wouldn`t like her discussing them at all. And although she never gave away too much, she knew talking generally about it would irk him. She`d told herself that she`d done it for the sake of others - to educate, to relate and to give a sense of familiarity. But the root of it was the need for Julian`s attention and she`d gotten it more easily than she thought. She smirks and follows him off the bed. He leaves and her fingers sift through the things on his desk. She finds a copy of Great Expectations and lifts it off the shelf, her fingers landing on the first page. To Jules. Love you always, Thena. It`s a note that makes her sad and she sets it back on the top of the pile. She began to organize the piles, coming across only a few copies that she didn`t recognize. The boxing medals were clearly a secondary pride, but she shined them against her sweats and popped them upright against the piles. Julian reenters the room and she leans against the desk, her cheeks grow flushed and her eyes wide. "Oh, shut up. No way they are!" a horror hangs over her as she waits for him to confirm. "Is vintage Champagne flat? Did you forget the fondue?" She covers her eyes to protect herself from the cork, she has a childish fear of losing her eye out to a champagne bottle. Her slim fingers take the flute and she smiles, "Happy New Year. I hope 2019 is your best yet, etc." She clinks her glass against his and takes a small sip, "you hate remember whens, I know. But remember that New Years we drank Peach Schnapps and I begged you to carol Star Spangled Banner with me?" She smiles broadly, "and the rocket`s red glare!"