home ,

[athena mccarthy]

She huffs again and then sits up. "Nothing," she smiles a little and shrugs. "I'm just really tired and I want to go home," she stands and straightens herself out. "I just wanted your attention and everyone else's. That's just me," she tugs on her sneakers and lifts her phone from the side table. "You'll message me when you're back in New York? I promise to sneak out as sneakily as possible. Bye Jules." Her exit, though sneaky by her standards, was apparently not sneaky by Buchanan standards. Athena takes the same route out as she did in, but somewhere along the way she manages to misstep and her shoulder collides with a small brunette woman. "Oh," her eyes blink at Mrs. Buchanan, whose eyes blink back at her as if adjusting focus on who this intruder was. "Mrs. Buchanan.. I'm sorry, I was just leaving.. Happy New Year!"

[Deleted]

Julian watches as Athena starts up a familiar ritual. After conceding defeat she would always do this, straightening herself up, forcing a smile, collecting her belongings and leaving with the promise of being in touch. It was so familiar that it almost makes Julian smile, remembering all the times she left in exactly this fashion, only for him to open up the window and lean out, calling out to her to come back up. He nods as she talks but makes no attempt to respond, instead getting up once she's left and heading over to the window. After a brief moments hesitation, he unlocks the huge wood-framed window, heaving it up though it's stiff and sticking his head out into the balmy night air. Watching for her slender frame to appear below, a suspicious amount of time passes. He feels his stomach drop and the color drain from his cheeks as what's happened becomes clear, and he's praying to himself that he's wrong as he slips out of his room, rushing downstairs. He feels sick when he spots the two of them, his petite mother dwarfed by an oversized cream Alaïa sweater, her long dark hair sleek and her pretty but stern features fixed in a smile that could only be described as resembling that of Snow White's stepmother. "<Mom, please don't make a scene. She's just leaving>," Julian pleads, lapsing into fluent French as a show of acquiescence. Juliette's smile widens as she raises her perfectly arched eyebrows, looking from her youngest back to Athena. "Julian, have some manners. Athena darling, are you leaving so soon? Why, I didn't even hear you come in." She very obviously looks the girl up and down, her smile briefly faltering at the sight of sweatpants. "You look... comfortable. Have you two been hiding up in his bedroom? You do know you can use the front door now, it's a little late for us to worry about you behaving inappropriately."

[athena mccarthy]

Athena cheeks blush a hot red. She had unintentionally missed Juliette at her family Christmas party and had been somewhat relieved about doing so. But of course, karma would be biting her on the ass. At least her discomfort would be cushioned by their last meeting, had it happened. She feels as Juliette looks at her appearance. Athena's Cinderella'd. Going from high Christmas glam, to musty morning after. She stands a little more confidently, hoping that her figure is still somewhat impressive to the elegant French woman. Cushioned lips pull upward as Julian appears in the hallway and it's an unexpected relief. "I'm not feeling the greatest, actually," her voice becomes sickly and she finishes her sentence with an obviously bullshit cough. "I heard the flu is going around. Julian was sharing his remedies," she flicks her eyes up to Julian. "What did call it? T ginger ale and Neocitrian cocktail? Gingerian? He even put champagne in it." She smiles and shrugs, her eyes looking to the front door, "well.."

[Deleted]

It was at times like these he wished desperately that he had been born a McCarthy and not a Buchanan. Cassius had more than once caught Julian creeping around his property, and though he'd given him the odd talking to, it had always been man-to-man and steeped in kindness. Juliette, on the other hand, could not give a single fuck about Julian's sex life, but was pretending to do so to make them both squirm. The malice laced through her words made him cringe. "<Mom>," he repeated, this time his tone turning stern. "<Leave her alone.>" He closes the distance between them, defensively standing over Athena, the pair towering over his tiny mother. She remained undeterred.  "I wouldn't take advice from Julian, he has been feigning illness since he got home. He can't abide us, you see," Juliette explained. Usually she worked incredibly hard to present her family as perfect, but since Athena had tarnished her reputation, and knew too much besides, she dropped the act now. She sees her eyeing her escape and makes an overdramatic display of disappointment. "No no, you simply must stay! Tell me all about your parents, how are they doing? I saw them at the party of course, but these things are always so busy. A little gauche too, but what can I say-- Americans," she rolls her eyes as she says this, giving Julian a knowing look. He stiffens, irritated at being brought into this charade. "Listen, it's late. I'm gonna drive Athena home," he says. He's pulling on his sneakers as Tripp calls out from the living room, asking what's keeping his mother. Terrified of making this an even grander family affair, he doesn't say goodbye, grabbing Athena's elbow and tugging her to the door. "C'mon, let's go."

[athena mccarthy]

Usually the queen of conversation, Athena struggles in the moment. Her tan cheeks are flushed pink and her eyes glance at Julian, as she makes a small dig at him. Juliette used to love her. She would take her out for manicures, call her for a cup of tea in the mornings, and she'd always try to dress her. Now she could see that the love was gone and was replaced with a form of fake politeness. She could imagine the insults made her her name as husband and wife tried to sleep. The thought makes her more awkward. "They're good. I'll tell them you asked after them, I'm sure my mom wouldn't mind catching up," she resists rolling her eyes back at her as she makes a jab. "Bye," Athena gives a wave as she's pulled out, her feet rushing to be by Julian's side. "Sorry, that was a nightmare," she finds herself apologizing for his mother, her chest sighing the tension out. "Thanks again! You will text, right?" she slips from her side and walks backward down the driveway.

[Deleted]

Without even flinching Julian picks up the keys to his brother's Porsche, since he didn't even own a car what with living in New York. He has an overwhelming desire to remove Athena from the situation. Whilst you don't host a podcast like the one she did without developing a thick skin, Juliette was well known for her acerbity, and he knew that the contrast between when she was in favour and her now being out of it would be another layer of discomfort for his ex girlfriend. He shoots his mother a look as he closes the door, though of course she has her fake smile fixed in place right up until the moment he closes it with a small slam. He actually laughs as she apologizes. Not a harsh, humourless laugh, but a real, genuine one. "I'm sorry. You know she's jealous of the McCarthy party, she'll be bitter until the next." She pulls away from him and he looks at her quizzically. It's not far but that had never stopped him from dropping her home when they were teens, back when he used to love LA traffic because it prolonged his time with her. "Come on, let me drive you. There's been loads of serial killers in LA over the years and you'd make for a perfect victim." He presses the car keys and the car beeps back at them, tempting them over. "I'm not gonna take no for an answer."

[athena mccarthy]

"I didn't even see here till she was right there," she swears, a frown knits between her brows. "It was like she caught a scent and sniffed me out." It was disheartening to know the Buchanans didn't hold the same love for her as they did in the past and that it was purely due to the candidness of her podcast. She wondered if they'd felt any hate for her when she broke up with their youngest son. Knowing Julian's parents, they probably felt disappointed that the possibility of a McCarthy in the family had slimmed. She continues backwards. A grin casts on her face and she shakes her head, "it's a five minute walk and I brought my bear spray." The car beeps and she turns on her heel to face forward, "you can walk me home though. It's more eco-friendly!"

[Deleted]

It's easy to imagine that his mother has the house bugged. Julian, her very own namesake, had been a bit of a miracle baby after she had suffered two complicated pregnancies with Beatrice and Benjamin III. As such she had doted on him heavily as a child and even now his siblings commented on him as being the favourite, though it was hard to believe as he had been such a bitter disappointment to the woman.  "She has a sixth sense for these things," he agreed. It even hurt him to see his mom be so cold to one of the very few people in the world she used to show some warmth towards. He wondered if she wasn't deeply depressed, too. "The planet's fucked no matter what we do," Julian says seriously, unable to accept a throwaway comment like that. He wants to take the car, that way he has the double effect of annoying Tripp and the ability to occupy himself with driving when awkward silence inevitably falls. Still he knows better than to argue. Locking the car, he shoves his hands in his pockets and starts walking in the direction of her house. "You're gonna feel bad when I get murdered on my way back home."

[athena mccarthy]

She often wondered what it was like to be Julian and having parents that were so obsessed with how he appeared successfully. It was different than her parents. Cassius and Piper obviously wanted her to succeed, but they also wanted it to come from a place she loved. Judgement came in small doses and was rarely brought up. Athena sometimes saw it in passing glances but the two of them were very supportive. They'd even been supportive to Julian. Cassius often gave him pep talks about finding his happy. Her parents must have seemed strange. She rolls her eyes at his comment about the planet. He was always the pessimist and she the optimist. When she looks over her shoulder, he's walking towards her and she smirks - success. "I'll let you borrow my bear spray," she promises. The route is full of memories but she resists repeating them to him. There were broken bones, elementary school bullies, first kisses and many more on this walk. Her mouth opens to say something but shuts, she's unsure how to break this silence. "Do you like your job?" small talk. How to move from conversations of past abortions to chit chat. "I always thought you'd be good at being a lawyer. You get me really tongue twisted."

[Deleted]

They fall into step and it's an odd sensation. For most people this would be simply nostalgic, a warm moment between exes who were civil towards each other. But civility was often the limit of Julian's emotional connection, in fact, it was him operating at a higher level than he could naturally attain. It took effort for him to be anything but openly rude. So this wasn't nostalgic so much as neutrally reminiscent for him, and difficult in that he wasn't sure how to behave. He nods his thanks at her offer of bear spray. Really, the idea of being jumped and murdered didn't seem so bad to him. As they walk he feels every step like it's a move back in time, though he more pressingly feels that she must be wanting to reminisce. This was something he felt bad about. Athena meant the world to him, and their shared memories were so deeply important to him, but he was incapable of communicating this to her. Walking down memory lane was simply too depressing. As she asks her question he looks at her quizzically, wondering why she'd even ask. "I'd be stupid to complain," he says, being wilfully obtuse. "Do you like yours?" he pauses, forcing himself to ask the next question, "what do you get out of it?"He laughs shortly, shrugging. "You're different."

[athena mccarthy]

Julian as a lawyer was a strange idea to her. He'd rebelled against the idea so much when they were dating. Though she had always thought he'd be good at it - he was bred for it, after all - she never thought it was something she would see him doing, as he didn't have the passion now. She kicks a rock and nods, "I don't think it would be stupid to complain. It never seemed like something you wanted." She listens to his question and shrugs, "I don't think you'd get it." She genuinely believes this, as he didn't believe in sharing or participating in group conversation. "I really like my job. It's a great platform for a lot of our guests.. it lets me talk to some pretty awesome people," she uses her hands to explain her excitement, "like Jon Ronson. Ugh, that was a dream. I think something that started off with us being funny and wanting to touch on a topic that is still so taboo... ugh, I can't describe it. I get letters from people, and I know you think I'm a slut. But these people telling me that I've opened their mind, that I've changed their life and that I've saved them from shitty relationships.. it's ridiculous but amazing." Her mouth is dry from talking, for a moment she forgets she's talking to Julian and when she looks at him, a flush tinges her cheeks. "I'm definitely not."

[Deleted]

He glances as they walk down the street, lit by a pool of light from a streetlamp. She looked so much like her younger self, but she carried herself differently. More confidently. "I don't want much. I was young then, I grew out of that," he says, falling just short of admitting it was a rebellious phase as the thought was too depressing to put words to. That was the narrative that his parents preferred, though it seemed dramatic to him - he had hardly rebelled. He went to school and got top grades, he dated a girl they approved of. He was moodier than they would have liked, less materialistic and status driven, but he was hardly a wild child. "I don't think I would either," he admits, though not unkindly.  He's glad this doesn't deter her. As she speaks he listens intently, trying his best to put himself in her shoes. He frowns at one point, stopping dead and shaking his head. "I don't think you're a slut. When did I say that?" He's genuinely offended by the accusation. He can imagine her enjoying the validation of response from her listeners, though he thought it was sad that anyone would need a stranger on the internet to tell them how to live their life. "You are different," he repeats, a smile spreading across his face despite himself. "I really don't think you're a slut. I think you like the sound of your own voice, and you're rude. Overfamiliar. But I don't think you're a slut."

[athena mccarthy]

"Oh," she says, looking up at him and frowning sadly. When she was with Julian she was always trying to make him happy, to the point where she felt like she was almost trying to fix him. She'd always viewed him as a dusty window, that she was constantly taking a rag to. She would do anything to make him smile, to have a little sunshine flow through him. Sometimes it was exhausting and she would find his cloud extending itself to her. She remember both how sad and happy he made her. She bites her fat lip and shakes her head, "you didn't say it. Maybe it's the sound of my own voice and rudeness thing that I misinterpreted," she wags a finger, "which I'm definitely not." She smiles at his smile and feels a fleeting high. "No, I am rude and I do like the sound of my own voice. But I have an okay voice. It's not too high and sounds like I smoke a pack a day, but it's fine. And it's a proven fact that more people enjoy my rudeness than don't. And I always tip!"

[Deleted]

Their relationship had been defined of a feeling of just about understanding each other. Their shared childhood had made them intuitive enough that Julian's silences weren't as much a problem for Athena as they were for the girls to follow, as she could read his mood beyond the sulky exterior. She got the largest share of his smiles and his secrets, and everyone at school had noticed that he was different around her, even from afar. His body was less stiff, he leaned in when she spoke, he'd give her sly little half-smiles under the cover of open textbooks. They were so different really, particularly as less complex teenagers, when she personified sunshine and he a thunderstorm. It had been easy to buy into their Romeo & Juliet romance in those days. But starcrossed lovers they were, because a language barrier is one of the hardest things to overcome, and they did have a language barrier. Even now he was straining to understand her, though of course her English was perfectly clear. "You have a nice voice," he agrees, remembering when they'd lie under the covers and he'd listen to her talk, too distracted by the lovely lilt of her voice to pay attention to what she was actually saying. She keeps talking and he nods. The idea of him calling anyone rude was a deeply hypocritical one, though he too tipped well. He sighs. "Why do you care what I think? I'm just some asshole."

[athena mccarthy]

She talks a lot, and he says little in return. That's the way it's always been and Athena is happy to fill the air. If anything, Julian had trained her to carry shy guests and to handle silences better. Her lips smile gently, "thank you." They're coming up to her childhood home and her pace slows down to make those last few steps last a bit longer. She shakes her head, "you are an asshole, but you're not some asshole." Why did she care? Did it seem like she cared? She tries to gather her thoughts but it ends up as word vomit, as it typically does. "you were my asshole though.. ick, saying asshole sounds wrong. You were my jerk. And even if it's been over for forever, I still want to hear what you have to say. I still care."