trust the b in apartment 3

[Deleted]

c l e o p a t r a Lucky you. No repeats?

[august de witte]

A U G U S T No. I guess I kind of sucked?

[Deleted]

c l e o p a t r a You've really fucked this reveal for me. I thought you were gonna be like "woaah, no way, how??" but instead you've gone longer than I have by 5 days. Are you determined to forever upstage me?

[august de witte]

A U G U S T Honestly I thought Christmas was at least 200 days ago? So yeah. Gimme something more fun before I go.

[Deleted]

c l e o p a t r a That's all the updates I have, um... Ollie almost died?

[august de witte]

A U G U S T Oh no! What a loss that would have been to the entire building.

[Deleted]

c l e o p a t r a Oh shush, all the women would have been sorely disappointed. But that's not fun, what's fun... I got nothing. What's fun with you?

[august de witte]

A U G U S T But better off without the douche. Sad times. Okay. So. Nothing much. My best friend is full dad now, so I've been abandoned completely. I got hit by a car not too long ago. Broke my arm and I'm trying to sue just for fun.

[Deleted]

c l e o p a t r a Don't say that! I've warmed to him. That's young, I thought most people waited til their thirties these days. What?! Is your arm okay? Were they drunk? Are they broke? Don't be a rich guy suing a poor guy for fun.

[august de witte]

A U G U S T Ur funeral. He adopted it. He did it willingly!!! He was driving a rich person car. No one could even sign my arm because of covid!! He deserves to be reaped.

[Deleted]

c l e o p a t r a Aww, that's cute. Is he gay? Yeah ok, if it was a Tesla sue him extra hard.

[august de witte]

A U G U S T Nah. He's just stupid. IT WAS. Can you believe? All that technology and he still hit me. I'll buy you something $$$ with the money.

[Deleted]

c l e o p a t r a Don't you want kids? God, you get all the luck. Sometimes when I'm out doing Postmates deliveries I fantasize about someone super rich knocking me over so I can go home, or to hospital - either works.

[august de witte]

A U G U S T That's an insane idea. Sometimes when I'm home I fake sick so my mother will care for me.

[Deleted]

c l e o p a t r a Lil twins of your own? I bet she loves that.