hidden in plain sight

[dolly weathers]

Last Friday she cut her hair up to the nape of her neck. She thought it would help her look like a stranger and less like herself. For the most part, people seemed to brush past her and move alongside their busy lives. Some stopped to Google her name, to make sure it lined up before opening their mouths… this sort of filter was rare though, excitement seemed to overwhelm decency. Then there were reactions like the barista on the other side of the counter. Who began to write the name, “Rachel” before looking up at her and saying, “has anyone ever told you that you look like Dolly Weathers?” Which makes her laugh shortly and reply, "really? You think?. The cup is hot in her hand and she’s turning to exit the cafe when someone full out runs into her. For a second she thinks that maybe her new hair has made her too invisible. But the hot liquid seeping through her sweater cuts that thought short and she drops her cup to the ground. "Dude. Like what the fuck?!, she shakes drips of coffee from her hands and scowls up at the face of Theo Lovett.

[theo lovett]

Daylight had crept up on Theo and he had been too busy to notice it. Deep into a 24 shift, he was thrust from one emergency to another, too consistently confronted by a fresh life-or-death situation to acknowledge how exhausted he was fast becoming. As soon as he clocked off, his exhaustion had made itself felt, so much so that he needed a coffee just to feel fresh enough to drive home. As he moves into the cafe he hasn't quite allowed himself to slow the pace he'd kept up all shift, moving with a manic speed that inevitably caused him to crash into a tiny, barely there person. "Oh shit I'm so sorry," he gushes, hopelessly trying to catch her fallen cup though it's far too late. "Let me get you--" he starts, finally looking up from the mess on the floor to her all-too-familiar face. His mouth runs dry and he's suddenly very aware of the fact he must look like shit. "Dolly. Hi."

[dolly weathers]

Dolly looks stunned. Her tired face is completely unprepared for run-ins with open wounds. Her lip is tight and her heavy brows tuck downward, "hi. Someone miraculously appears with napkins and an employee ushers them out of the way with a mop. ”Fuck, she swears again, looking at her ruined white sweater and pulling it over her head. "What are you doing? Are you working?”

[theo lovett]

She looks different and it's not just the haircut, which suits her coquettish features. Maybe it's the huge dark stain that's now splashed across her previously immaculate white sweater. Theo steps aside for the employee starting to mop up, wanting to help but his sleeplessness and shock making him slow to react. "I'm so sorry, you'll have to let me pay for that," he says, praying this new Dolly didn't wear $2,000 sweaters. He glances down at himself, as though surprised to see his uniform still on. Many hours spent at the gym had made it so that he felt like a strippergram whenever he wore it, a mistake people had actually made. "Just clocked off, 24 hour shift so sorry if I seem... weird. Here, let me at least get you a new drink, what are you having?"

[dolly weathers]

The wool sweater has lost the battle, it's knits are muddied with coffee. Beneath it she's even more plain than before, in a plain black long sleeve which hugs her small figure. The sweater was a Christmas present and she knew it had been pricey, she'd never let Theo pay for it. "It's fine,” she forces herself to look up at him. His face is tired and his uniform dull from the day, she immediately feels bad that he bumped into her in such a state. "This is really shit luck. Are you okay?”

[theo lovett]

This was not the way you'd fantasize bumping into an ex. If he could have it his way, he would have bumped into her on a night out, looking fresh and surrounded by his friends on one of their karaoke nights, laughing and having a good time. He would be so relaxed that he might even be pleased to see her, instead of the punch to the guts he's feeling now. "Do I look not okay?" he asks, before finally managing a faint smile. "Seriously, I'm getting a coffee anyway. What can I get you?"

[dolly weathers]

Truth was, she looked no better than he did. Though she felt guilty for even comparing her amount of tired to his, she truly did look like crap. With tired eyes, damp clothing and a dramatic hair cut. Dolly shakes her head at him but admits it, "yes, but in a Hollywood way.” She means that everyone here was good looking and it was a prerequisite for living in Los Angeles. Dolly folds the sweater over her arm, ready to deny him but equally desperate to have at least one sip of coffee. "Just a drip,” she knows that the latte on the floor cost an insane $7 and she was never going to let him reorder it. She feels tense next to him but forces conversation, "how are things?”

[theo lovett]

It was awkward between them and he hated it, but didn't know how to rectify it. In truth, he felt a bitterness towards her that was quite against his temperament, a novel feeling he did not much care for but didn't know how to stem. He awkwardly approaches the counter and orders two drip coffees, the smell of the roasting beans making him crave that first sip all the more. "You look different," he says, shoving a few extra dollars tip into the jar on the counter for the trouble he had caused. He looks at her, leaning against the counter. "You look older. In a good way."

[dolly weathers]

She smiles at the barista who told her that she looks sort of like a better version of herself. She felt uncomfortable around Theo, but discomfort was a feeling that she'd become especially aware of these past nine months. Dolly flicks her eyes up at him as she tries to decipher what 'older in a good way' means and how she'd made that happen. "New haircut,” she takes the hot cup from the counter and dumps an unholy amount of cream in it. "You must be on your way home?”

[theo lovett]

All Theo's instincts tell him to crack a joke, something to lighten the mood. But looking at Dolly makes a lump rise in his throat, one that feels suspiciously like he might actually resent her. He's surprised by this reaction and knows he'll have to process in later. In the meantime, he fiddles with a plastic lid and nods, going back to avoiding looking at her. "Yeah, I'm parked by the station," he nods in the general direction of the fire station, just a few doors down. "I can give you a ride somewhere? Please, I feel really bad about your sweater."

[dolly weathers]

Dolly took space to think about his offer. The truth was she'd walked here and it wasn't a short walk. It was a three hour walk in new sneakers and her feet ached from pounding the pavement. She'd walked for something to do other than dwell in anxiety at 5AM. The coffee shop had been a good place to stop or a good break in the middle of it, she hadn't quite decided when she'd arrived. "Maybe you could just take me home?” As her feet hit the sidewalk outside the cafe, they seemed to protest the idea of walking anywhere but the short distance to the fire station.

[theo lovett]

Theo is expecting to have to insist, but he's surprised by her willingness. She was being less proud than usual, just another change for him to take in. He nods again, holding the door to the cafe open for her and following her out. As they walk the short walk to his parked Jeep he squints in the sunshine, taking a sip of his too-hot coffee and pretending it didn't scorch his tongue. "Not really sweater weather," he says, gesturing in the general area of the sky, at a loss for what else to say. They approach his car and he just stops himself from saying it's his, since of course she would already know that, having been in it a hundred times. It was a nicer car than he really needed, the one indulgence he had dipped into his inheritance fund for. As such, he kept it immaculately clean. Sitting, he takes the lid off his coffee and blows on it, trying to cool it down. "Mind if I drink some of this first? I'm exhausted."

[dolly weathers]

Dolly follows his lead and laughs at his remark about the weather, "I guess I should thank you then.” She rolls her sleeves up to her elbows and takes her tiniest sip of coffee - too desperate not to, but all too aware of it burning away her taste buds. She'd always liked his Jeep. Not so much that it was a Jeep, but the fact that for a unusually selfless person he had let himself indulge in something that made him happy. She sits inside and places her once-white sweater on her lap. "No, this is fine,” she faces forward and concentrates her attention on the details on the brick building. She reads the signs carefully in her mind, to prevent other thoughts of sadness and guilt from pouring in. It doesn't help much, her body is alive with feeling. "This is weird, maybe I should just get a cab?”

[theo lovett]

He wishes he wasn't parked so close to the station. It was only a matter of time before one of his colleagues caught sight of them, a bored firefighter who'd love getting the rest of the boys to the window to ogle Theo and his famous ex-girlfriend. He takes another big gulp of coffee, ignoring the burn as it coats his throat. The caffeine hits quickly and he can feel his shoulders start to relax. He's about to tell her he likes her hair, unable to help himself, before he's interrupted. He shakes his head. "No, no, sorry, don't do that." He sets the lid back on the cup and puts it in the cupholder, putting his seatbelt on. "We can head off, it won't be long at all and I'll try to stop being weird. So, how have you been? Big few months for you, right?"

[dolly weathers]

She follows his lead and clicks her seatbelt in. Her small hands hold the hot cup tightly, the warmth burning through the cup. "No, I mean, it's just weird. Not that you're being weird,” she corrects him. She nods at the statement big few months, supposing that's how betrayal, loneliness and the ousting is best summarized. "I'm actually getting sued,” she makes a little face and raises an eyebrow, "big few months.”