. last flowers

[theo lovett]

It's 7pm and Theo was supposed to be off shift from 6, though this was hardly an unusual occurrence. The last callout had been a bad one, a shootout between teenagers who should know better than to throw life away so soon. One hand is held tight onto a bandage on a teen's left abdomen, compressing the wound though a deep crimson well has formed around his gloved fingers. He shouts off the relevant code to the emergency room doctors, relieved to hand the stretcher over to the people who could actually do something to potentially save the boy's life... it was one of those cases he knew would itch at the back of his brain, one that he'd have to ask about come tomorrow morning. But for now he's exhausted, blood drenched and dying for his bed. Peeling blood soaked gloves off his hands, he dumps them in a toxic waste bin, looking at himself in the mirror. His uniform is drenched in blood, which he prefers to vomit, though it feels heavy against his frame. Splashing water on his face, he takes a deep breath, trying to decide what to do. Should he get changed and shower at home, where he can comfortably collapse into bed? Or should he just make himself shower here, setting himself up to crash the second he got home, but running the risk of waking himself up too much? He decides he'll shower here, though as he turns to head to the men's shower room he bumps into a small blonde, an act that makes him immediately cringe, hoping he hasn't covered her in blood. "Fuck, I'm so sorry!"

[Deleted]

It had been a whirlwind of a first week. Stella eyed the clock over the sterile pods, mentally configuring the few minutes left in her shift dwindling down as she finished up her charts. The sheer capacity of the neonatal unit, not to mention the entire hospital was still throwing her, trying to gather her bearings in terms of hallways and departments and locations. Add on top of that the influx of preemie babies she'd been tasked to monitor, and she was ready for a couple days off and some quiet time in her temporary apartment. Her sigh of relief is almost palpable when she slots the final tablet into its designated tower, taking one more sweep of the room before waving goodbye to the incoming nurses and stepping into the hall. Around her the hospital teems with energy - buzzing pagers, patient questions, beeping vitals - mindless noises she barely registers over time. Stella'd become accustomed to the one track mind of her tiny patients, pouring her attention into their care until another cried and called out to her. Rinse, repeat. A frown tugs at the corner of her mouth when she remembered one of her little ones had stopped breathing for a few moments in her sleep today, mind so focused on checking the charts when she's back on shift that she barely registers bumping into someone. "It's fine!" Stella breezes, continuing on before she looks up and realizes she's heading down the wrong corridor. Fuck. "Actually, do you know wh-" she starts, spinning back around before the question dies in her throat. Clear blue history was staring straight at her suddenly, covered in blood. It takes her a moment to ground herself in that reality, jumping to inspect his scrubs. "Holy shit, are you ok?"

[theo lovett]

Being able to check out nurses had definitely been one of the initial draws to this line of work for Theo Lovett, though in reality, he had found that he spent almost all his time either in an ambulance or administering first aid on the scene. In hospitals he tended to hand patients over and quickly retreat, only pausing in instances such as these where he needed to get cleaned up, or right before he got to clock off and go home. So his interactions with nurses were more limited than he'd have chosen them to be, which is why it takes him a moment to register the sight that's before him.  It's a shock. He stands rooted to the spot, eyes wide and his stomach churning. Is this actually real? Was he the one who got shot? It would be a fitting turn of events if so, he could see his subconscious conjuring his high school sweetheart up as his guide to the other side. But no, his imaginary Stella would look more like the Stella he remembered, a fresh faced teenager, and certainly not with that small band of metal wrapped around her ring finger. His stomach twists. Realising he's been stood in silence for what felt like forever, a wide smile finally cracks across his face. "Not mine. Man, I really wish I wasn't covered in blood so I could give you a hug. How you doing, kid? What the hell are you doing here? Are you working here--" the questions pour from him and he burns with a desire to touch her. "Ha, of course you're working here, too early for a Halloween costume. Listen, can you wait for me to shower? When's your shift end? God it's good to see you, you look great."

[Deleted]

Stella remembered Jake's reaction when she first mentioned Los Angeles. Eyebrows to the heavens, a quick flicker in his eye that remained unacknowledged about their past. Though he eventually settled on supporting her, helping to work through moving logistics and accompanying her on the flight down, she always wondered if he was worried about something like this. A one-in-a-million reunion - she'd been honest when she promised she'd never looked Theo up. Knew he had been in California at some point, but she'd been ok to end her curiosities there. So she wasn't entirely prepared to run into him again, the pace of her heart slowed yet speeding as her nose scrunched at the nickname. Kid. They were kids when they were together, the grounding reminder on her ring finger as Stella breathed a sigh of relief. "Just started, yeah - travel assignment, I'm in neonatal." It almost feels strange that he doesn't know these parts of her life, the comfort of his excited rambling so nostalgic it settles into a laugh in her chest, motioning to the complex hallways around her. "I just got off actually, was trying to remember where the woman's locker room was to grab my stuff but...here you are instead. Lookin' like a crime scene." Dark eyes trail back to his, lips tilting into a smile as she moved to pull the clip out of her hair. "Are you off soon too? If so, know a good place to get a drink around here?"

[theo lovett]

It feels unreal. Somehow, his dating America's sweetheart felt more plausible than his running into his high school ex, LA pregnant with the possibility of adjacency to celebrity but woefully lacking in real human connection. As he talks he's still taking the sight of her in, the familiarity and the changes, strangeness making the edges of reality blur. He wants to text Ollie, or Alli, or anyone who'd understand how weird this was. "Of course you are," he says, his grin broadening. He'd had no idea where she'd ended up, but he'd spent enough time imagining her with a babe in arms that it was an easy image to conjure now. Despite everything, he's excited to have a taste of home, to show someone the life he's built for himself. He buries his envy, his shock, his bitterness, instead choosing to point down the corridor behind her. "Great timing. It's down there to the left, second door... I think. I don't spend a huge amount of time in the woman's locker room." His heart is beating hard in his chest, excitement tinged with fear that if they part he won't see her again, that she'll disappear round that corner and be lost to him for another near decade. "You go and I'll meet you outside in fifteen minutes, ok? I can take you to my favorite spot, we might even make happy hour."

[Deleted]

It's wild, trying to map the changes over time. Almost a decade between their last full moment, Stella having to tip her head up even higher than remembered to chase his excited expressions. Still the same warmth, the same quirked lip...but he's grown up. Grown out, even, aware of his large presence in the hallway both in personality and in stature. As if he'd never stopped playing hockey, tracing the broad slope of his shoulders before her eyes followed his indication with another laugh. "Very respectable of you," Stella murmurs, nodding in agreement to his plan. "Sounds like a plan to me - I'll buy the first round, you can tell me what happened here." It's crazy how even when she's surrounded by infants, blood had become so desensitized to anyone that worked there. Almost an afterthought at this rate, contamination the main thing keeping her from giving him a bone crushing hug. Stella's fists curl almost in anticipation, releasing only to wave see you soon before following his instructions and slipping into the locker room. The next few minutes are a blur, rushing to pull her jeans on and tug the cream sleeveless sweater over her head, running her finger through the messy strands of her hair. She half laments not bringing her make-up but it was too late for that now, swiping on the lip gloss she had rolling around in her purse and stepping into her sandals as she pushed through the door, arms reaching to wrap around him the moment she could. "God it's been so long. I can't believe I ran into you."

[theo lovett]

He laughs at her bargaining, nodding along. There's a sharp line where the gloves once were, a clean division of crimson parting to pale skin. Nothing unusual in these halls. Theo watches her as she retreats down the hall, suppressing a desire to follow her down the hall to make sure he kept her in his sights. But he trusts fate, slipping back into the locker room to take the world's fastest shower, washing off encrusted blood and not caring as he runs body wash through his hair. Drying himself off as quickly as he can, he pulls on his jeans and a t-shirt, running a hand through damp hair and assessing himself in the mirror. Stubble grazed his jawline, though he's grateful he'd just had a haircut. Borrowing some cologne from a colleague, he pulls his trainers on and runs out to meet her outside. The hug is welcome. She looks more like herself now she's out of scrubs, though she's filled out, whilst her cheeks have hollowed. It's difficult to overlook how beautiful she looks. "I know, it's crazy. You look good kid," he says impulsively, the nickname slipping too easily from his lips. "I hope you don't have any plans tonight, I want a proper catch up!" He leads her through the halls, ignoring any glimpses they're getting from other nurses and EMTs. The late afternoon sunshine pools around them as they step outside, casting a hazy glow that only makes her look more unreal. There are bars on the very same block that he knows plenty of his colleagues will be at, but he wants to keep her to herself, so he leads her further afield. "So, how long have you been in LA? You should have looked me up, I love playing tour guide."

[Deleted]

"So do you, C," she quips, drawing on her own knowledge of their younger nicknames. When Theo had first been named captain of the hockey team it felt like he didn't let go of that jersey for a week, flashing the embroidered letter any moment he could. It had led to her buying him a bunch of iron on 'C' patches as a joke, half expecting him to beg her to put them on his t-shirts. Alas, they'd remained sentimental but around, stuffed in text books and various parts of his room. She wondered briefly if any of them still existed, or had missed the move to California in their entirety. The evening air feels damp but cool on her skin, welcoming the still shining light that glimmered on the horizon. "Fresh outta them," Stella finally breathed, trailing after Theo as he led them away from the hospital. "I just moved here a few weeks ago, actually. Flew in with my hu- uhh, Jake, to get everything figured out with the apartment and then straight to the hospital." Her face heats with the recognition of familiarity, gaze stalling on the pavement below them. "It's weird to say his name and someone know it already, " she admits, though a smile inches along her lips before they arrive at his intended destination. "And to be honest, I didn't know if you were still here or not. Let alone working in a hospital! I'm sure your tour guide hours are very specific...3am to 3pm?"

[theo lovett]

A warm sense of familiarity falls between them as she uses a nickname he hasn't heard for years. He's struck by how familiar her voice is, an instant throwback to late nights spent whispering down the phone to each other as teens. The innocence of their relationship makes him smile, or it would, if he didn't already have a smile seemingly permanently etched into his features since seeing her. However, as she speaks the warm familiarity is dampened by a dull ache, her husband looming between them like a dark cloud. Still, he works to make sure the smile doesn't falter. "How is Jake? Is he around? You should invite him, I can call Ollie, we could have a mini high school reunion." They come upon a lobby with an elevator up to a rooftop bar. It's not where he'd usually opt for a post shift drink, but he feels compelled to show off the city he had become so fond of. "After you." In the confined space of the windowless elevator he gets another chance to look at her, to really look, drinking in all the similarities and differences. "I'm actually a paramedic, so I'm usually out in the city more than in the hospital." He laughs, nodding, "though, yeah, not the best hours. I love it though. How's nursing?"

[Deleted]

In true reality, Stella wasn't sure how to approach the tenuous situation with Theo and Jake. They'd been best friends before everything happened, and she knew that to the outside world it looked like she'd just slotted him in to fill the void Theo had left when he...well, left. It was more than that, of course, but even bringing him up had shallowed her breathing, trying to side eye his expression while keeping her own composed. When she didn't detect anything completely hostile her shoulders dropped an inch, rushing through her words with excitement. "He's back in Alaska, actually...a little long distance for a bit. He's on base at Elmendorf, in reserves but also training for the Air Force. Are you all still in the area?" Stella's trail of thought tapers off as they step into the elevator, forced proximity leading to quiet contemplation between the two of them as they tried to realize the situation. Even after all these years the silence remained comfortable, arms crossing over her chest as she leaned back on the shifting wall behind her. It almost felt surreal, a mirage that would break the second she pinched herself hard enough - but the familiar cadence of his voice was a very familiar reality. "No day's ever the same, I'm sure," she lobs back, catching the elevator doors open as her eyes widened. Los Angeles stretched before them in all its glory, Stella losing her train of thought as she wandered out to the balcony. "Little different than Alaska, that's for sure...sorry, what did you ask me?"

[theo lovett]

A small thrill ripples through Theo as she mentions Jake being back in Alaska, an illicit buzz that he knows better than to think too much about. Instead he tries to seem breezy, hitting the button for the rooftop bar as they step inside the elevator. "Ah, that sucks, could have been fun." He takes a moment to consider what 'you all' could mean, since he didn't really have much of an 'all' that she would know about. It's strange to think about how much his circle had changed since he had lost her as the core of it. "Ollie's here, Alli's back in Anchorage. I was living with him but he's got his own place now, you know what he's like." He makes a note to himself to text Ollie about this ASAP, though he doesn't want to waste any precious moments doing so now. The doors slide open and there it is, the wide-eyed wonder he'd been hoping for. It was a spectacular view, Hollywood stretching out beneath them, all twinkling lights and palm trees swaying in the evening breeze. "Don't worry about it," he says with a grin, letting her take in the view as he speaks to the hostess and gets them a seat right at the edge. "I hope you haven't developed a fear of heights since we were kids," he says, holding out her chair for her. "This is on me, by the way. Get whatever you want."

[Deleted]

"It's alright...think Anchorage is big enough for him, the traffic here got to him after 2 days." Fidgety hands, flickering eyes - she couldn't tell if it was awareness from training or general frustrations, but by the time she sent him off at the airport she could tell Jake was ready to be back in the silence for a while. Meanwhile here she was, surrounded by buzzing conversation and bustling crowds, and the energy all but hummed through her system. "Didn't know Allie had been back, wow. I'll have to tell my parents." Stella makes a mental note to text them, though the uncertainty of how much time had passed stalls the thought. How long had she been back - and on top of that, had Theo ever been back to visit? Stella quiets at the thought, chewing her lip before she brightens in thanks as the hostess settles them right by the stunning views. "Not at all - I hiked a lot in college, actually. Was my weekend activity, to see how much of Alaska I could cover." There's so much here to unspool suddenly, Stella desperate to tie up loose edges and become current - it's evident in even something like this. Ordering from a menu, contemplating favorites, trying to draw up old likes and dislikes. "That's too kind...it's wild to like, legally drink together. Isn't that silly? Like - what do you drink now that we don't have to beg someone to buy for us?"

[theo lovett]

There's something irritating about the thought of Jake driving through LA, being bothered by it. Was there nothing that was Theo's that he didn't decide to lay some kind of claim to? Though he dismisses the thought as quickly as it comes, hating how possessive he felt, especially given the circumstances. "The traffic is bad," he agrees, his tone ever so slightly flatter than before. "She was the one who told me about you and Jake. Congrats, by the way. I should have said, or sent a card... I didn't know the address, and life got kind of crazy, with work and Covid and LA and everything." He looks down at the menu without really seeing it, deciding to drop the subject as quickly as he can. "God, I'm dying for a drink." They're quiet compared to the people around them, most of whom seem to be well into their evening plans, enjoying after dinner cocktails and happily oblivious to the monumental occasion that was unfolding beside them. Theo can picture Stella hiking, he had dreamt of doing the very same thing when locked up over the pandemic. There was no quiet quite like an Alaskan quiet. "People love hiking here, you'll fit right in." He laughs as she comments on the drinking and it lets him ease back into the evening, nodding along. "Right? The hold Bud Light had on me, mainly since I saw one ad and couldn't remember any others. I'm not that sophisticated though, never got into craft beers or anything like that. Main question is, how big are we going? This is kinda a cocktail place, wanna jump right in?"

[Deleted]

Stella's face warms with the memories of their sweet wedding, almost enough to hide the cloying guilt that churned at the lack of mentioning it to him. He hadn't just broken it off with her, though - he'd left his whole life in Anchorage, their whole group picking up the pieces in their own way. "Thank you," she murmurs back earnestly, shaking her head at his excuses. "I'm sure you had a lot going on, it's ok. We all did." She pushes through the uncomfortable lull, grateful when he gently steers the conversation around the gaps in their history as she skims the menu. Laughing genuinely when he highlights the sweeter moments, ones of youth and childish worries and a glimpse of where he was now. "I had an unfortunate falling out with raspberry vodka in college," she laments, shuttering at the periled memories before raising her palms in surrender. "Don't laugh but I'm an appletini girl, through and through. So you brought me to a little safe haven." Stella places the menu back down, elbows perched on the edge of the table as she holds her chin in her hands, pitched forward. "Now what was your harrowing paramedic story today?"

[theo lovett]

She's gracious, because of course she is. It's a good thing this conversation has been broached now and not when he'd had a drink, as he would have been too tempted to ask why he hadn't been invited. Was it shame? Surely, if there was an injured party (and he had repeatedly tried to tell himself there wasn't), it would be him. Or maybe they just felt like it would be awkward? Or, worst of all, maybe they didn't consider it at all. "You'll have to show me the pictures sometime," he says, though he would rather have front row seats to an abattoir. "How was college? I never went. Ollie's going now." Why did he keep mentioning his brother? Being around Stella made him feel nostalgic for a simpler time, when he and his brother had been much more typical twins, different but complementary. This spontaneous meeting has brought up all sorts of emotions he knew he'd spend the next few weeks unravelling, but for now it was easy to focus on the good. "Suits you," he says with a crooked grin, nodding at a passing server who gestures that she'll be over in a moment. "Oh, just the usual. Drunk frat guys, shootout, car accident. Your typical 9-5." He offers a wide smile to the server, ordering her appletini and himself a mezcal negroni. "Do you live nearby? I guess they put you up, is that part of the deal?"