first in place

[thompson weathers]

t o m m y How is Troye Sivan the hottest woman I've ever seen?

[jane ridley]

J A N E Tommy, baby, I hate to break it to you but this really just cements your type into the history books. That being said, I'd happily make out with her any day.

[thompson weathers]

t o m m y What can I say, I was raised on Britney and Jessica Simpson. Remember when everyone called her fat? But I also need to issue a retraction, upon further reflection, you're the most hottest woman I've ever seen.

[jane ridley]

J A N E The leopard belt was the true crime in those photos, not her weight. I do give her props for eating straight butter when she was pregnant to make weight watchers look super successful too. She's a hustler, that one. "Most Hottest" - I'll get that inscribed on a trophy. The picture's also a catfish, I'm currently knee deep in a bucket of popcorn chicken. Most hottest thing in my life.

[thompson weathers]

t o m m y God you're so up on Jessica Simpson lore, makes you even hotter. Hahaha I was going to say that you were the most beautiful, then I realized I originally said hottest so I didn't want it to seem like a consolation prize. I do think you're most hottest. I've seen your face so I know you're just being modest.

[jane ridley]

J A N E What can I say, I’m a slut for her memoir. Did you know you rhymed there? How clever of you. But seriously, I’m in Miami about to come up on Day 3 of going out. I’m going through it.

[thompson weathers]

t o m m y God I'm on a roll today. Ew, what's in Miami?

[jane ridley]

J A N E Delilah’s opening up in Miami so, everyone’s “boots on the ground” as they’ve been saying. Aka us bringing bandage dresses back into style and going out to bag future clients. Very chic!

[thompson weathers]

t o m m y Hustling as always. People will be arranging holiday parties in all the companies I invest in, want me to forward your details to them and heavily imply H Wood venues would be the best pick? Should be some decent commission, maybe you could take me out for a change.

[jane ridley]

J A N E You'd be an absolute doll - and don't act like I never give you above and beyond service! Maybe I'll contract Troye for a surprise appearance at your next table.

[thompson weathers]

t o m m y Hahaha, I wouldn't put it past you. How long are you stuck in Miami for?

[jane ridley]

J A N E As you never should! Long enough to get bored of it or die trying. Fancy a trip to hell?

[thompson weathers]

t o m m y That depends, will Troye be there?

[jane ridley]

J A N E Thought I was most hottest? Do I have to sing and dance now?

[thompson weathers]

t o m m y You're the most hottest but I wouldn't say no to you dancing. Let me see if I can get the PJ.