. pat bohannon

[stassi siminski]

STAS  1 NEW MESSAGE i can't show my face around them.

[stassi siminski]

STAS  1 NEW MESSAGE is your nose broken?

[stassi siminski]

STAS  1 NEW MESSAGE ok i'll see you.

[stassi siminski]

STAS  1 NEW MESSAGE it's a kink. i haven't actually left for the hamptons yet, i was bluffing.

[stassi siminski]

STAS  1 NEW MESSAGE you’re very lucky you’re injured. can i swing by yours?

[stassi siminski]

STAS  1 NEW MESSAGE see you in like 30 mins.

[pat bohannon]

PAT BOHANNON & EDIE BOHANNON

PAT Why didn't you tell me you texted Stassi? After the picture EDIE Oh, was I required to? She's my friend too and I thought it was insensitive. PAT Would've been nice to know. She thinks you hate her now, btw EDIE Her dramatics do stay consistent, I thought it was a very polite text. Should I reach out again? PAT I'll let you know, seeing her in a bit. EDIE With that face? Yikes. PAT Shut up. EDIE The Cold War is finally ending! Do you feel ok seeing her? PAT We'll see, won't we? EDIE Well how am I supposed to know if I should extend the olive branch or double down? Ben's cooling, btw PAT I said I'd let you know, Nosy Nancy Step one I have to hope she doesn't punch me in the nose immediately and re-break it. EDIE JK on Ben, he'd pay money to see that. Keep me posted xX

[stassi siminski]

STAS  1 NEW MESSAGE i miss you.

[stassi siminski]

STAS  1 NEW MESSAGE fun but if i ever see tequila again i'll die. what have you been up to?

[stassi siminski]

STAS  1 NEW MESSAGE no, that's secure in the safe. thank you for talking me off the ledge! we'll have to repeat last summer, taking turns in the walk in freezer.

[stassi siminski]

STAS  1 NEW MESSAGE shhh, don't remind anyone of that, i'm still on my mea culpa tour.  be honest, what's the vibe at bodega? still team millie?

[stassi siminski]

STAS  1 NEW MESSAGE i said be honest. does your brother still hate me?

[stassi siminski]

STAS  1 NEW MESSAGE does it make it hard for you? i know how much your family means to you.

[stassi siminski]

STAS  1 NEW MESSAGE brb, calling edie!

[stassi siminski]

STAS  1 NEW MESSAGE i'm gonna iron this all out. will say sorry about the picture and... everything.