strictly business

[pat bohannon]

P A T Not really fair if they like me but don't like you. The actual interested ones follow your advice and DM me. I'll throw you one bone, Luiz is into Liv. Selfie tonight though, you've got a deal.

[stassi siminski]

s t a s s i that's just being a woman online, no big deal. well that i knew. i think it's mutual, as far as i can tell. which means you might be stuck sleeping on the couch tonight.

[pat bohannon]

P A T Still messed up. Like what would be the point of me seeing someone that found me on your videos if they spoke poorly of you? We're friends, it would be kinda a dealbreaker. Think the couches are probably more than my rent back home, wouldn't be too bad. Or maybe I just don't sleep at all.

[stassi siminski]

s t a s s i you're sweet, i think they'd be smart enough to pretend to you. no sleeping sounds fun. on that, wanna share a pill with me? i wanna roll but it's no fun alone.

[pat bohannon]

P A T It all comes out in the end, people get bold after a few drinks out with a friend. The things we hear at Bodega sometimes are wild. Yeah, I do - was actually going to ask what was left when we all got back. Pill kinda sounds better than blow at this point too.

[stassi siminski]

s t a s s i you're right there. right? less of a headache, more mellow. ok, fun! plenty to go round if anyone else wants in too.

[pat bohannon]

P A T Any word from the DJ? Wouldn’t be surprised if all the guys opted in, really giving ‘we’ll sleep when we’re dead’ a run for its money. Also really just trying to keep it cool with all these bets flying onto the table.

[stassi siminski]

s t a s s i mhmm, he's dying to know who i'm in vegas with. specifically if you're here. same for the girls. on your next wins you and lulu should tap out, freddie will understand and thompson will be easily distracted if you suggest doing something else.

[pat bohannon]

P A T Interesting. Luiz might be the hardest one to pull away, he’s got a hot hand right now. How are you texting me in the middle of something as momentous as Thunder Down Under anyway?

[stassi siminski]

s t a s s i they all get fixated on you, it's so... unimaginative. once you've seen one jockstrap you've seen them all. though i'm getting glances for not putting the phone away.

[pat bohannon]

P A T I just don’t think they like that they can’t get rid of me. Unstoppable force, immovable object. Even Australian versions? You’re probably giving off madame energy. Hottest table there I bet.

[stassi siminski]

s t a s s i such a red flag that they genuinely can't conceive of platonic friendships. you'd be surprised! wanna meet us after? i think the girls will be pretty riled up.

[pat bohannon]

P A T As if he wasn’t covered in them already. Think the guys’ll all be fueled on betting highs too - we might be in for an interesting night. Spin the Bottle keeps coming up.

[stassi siminski]

s t a s s i you think? omgggg yes. i'm an absolute pro at rigging spin the bottle, i'd give myself 85% accuracy. loving this high school regression.

[pat bohannon]

P A T Every time I see him. Alrighty then, who are you rigging it for?