shades of cool.

[ruby anderson]

Her jaw drops when she examines the grade that's been entered into their school portal. Another F. Ruby feels her heart pounding as she takes a few deep breathes. She was certain that she had done better this time. After all, this was her second time taking the class. Chemistry was hard at any form, college particularly. But she knew the motives by this F. The professor was still giving her the most difficult time. Why couldn't he let this go? Why did the trouble always see to follow her? Honest, she thought his infatuation would disappear once they had taken time apart for the semester. It was nearly a month that they were out of session. As she stared at the screen, Ruby realizes that's not going to be the case. Looking at the syllabus, Ruby feels hopeful for the news of a teaching assistant. Ruby had sent an email earlier in the week asking for the office hours and when the assistant would offer study sessions. The supposed office was somewhere in this building, so she thought. Ruby stands outside the numbered room for a brief second, collecting herself and tossing her blonde hair over her shoulder. She's about to knock on the glass door just as it begins to open. "Oh. Hi." Ruby is shocked to see his bag on his shoulder, as he appears to maybe be leaving.  "Are you Everett?"

[everett howe]

357A | 2:57 PM It’s Tuesday afternoon and his to-do list is already overflowing for the week. A third cup of coffee vibrates through his blood, shifting his brain into overdrive as he wrapped up the week’s first office hour. They were only a few weeks into the semester, but students filtered into his office as the difficulty of the class began to set in. After the results of the first quiz, he wasn’t surprised to see the class number shrink as petrified freshmen dropped and scrambled for anything but this course. It was an easy class for him to assist with, an introductory foray into chemistry for anyone not majoring in it. Everett was thrilled to watch the office hour wind down, the last student leave, and his office finally empty of noise. His phone buzzed as emails flooded in while his computer pinged with messages from his lab group; there was much to resume, but he needed energy beyond that supplied by caffeine. Shrugging on his coat and getting ready to lock up his office, he opens the door to find a startled blonde saying his name. “That’s me,” he replied, a pointed glance at the name plate on the wall. She looked lost and confused—she must be an undergrad, he surmised. “You just missed office hours,” he said, although he had not yet seen her in them before. “Two to three o’clock,” he reminded, as if reading it from the syllabus.

[ruby anderson]

So, yes it is him, Ruby glances over as he points to his name on the office plate. Everett Howe, she reads silently to herself. These weren't the halls that she was used to, or even this building. She maybe has been in it once or perhaps twice. Ruby slightly rolls her eyes that he's pointed out the obvious.. Her eyes wander down to the watch on her wrist. It was 2:58. She now realizes that she's read not only the syllabus but his email wrong too. She briefly had looked over it, just happy to see that someone could help her out of this mess she created. With a teacher assistant's help, Ruby was confident Professor A couldn't fail her. "Oh." She reacts, still stunned that her plan was slowly unraveling with his unfortunate news.   "I'm sorry, I read the email wrong. I thought it said until 3:30," Ruby responds as she gives her shoulders a slight shrug. "But is there any way that you can help me?"  The phone was still in her hand, with the grade pulled up. She hopes that the F present on the screen will make him feel some sort of sympathy towards her.

[everett howe]

357A This class would simultaneously be Everett’s last teaching obligation and his first time working under Professor Angelo. Although the material of the course was easy enough to breeze through without much effort from him, it was still a time obligation that sometimes irked him; sitting through three-hour lectures on Friday afternoons, for example, when he had ten other things to do. During class he often perch in the far back of the classroom as Angelo lectured, unbeknownst to most of the students. If he cared to watch them, he would notice the different characters emerging, could begin to discern those who came prepared (taking notes, asking questions) from those who would struggle to the end (on their phones, late to class). It never ceased to amaze him, the difference between undergrads and grad students. She had emailed him, he realized. He was even more inclined to lock the door and tell her she was out of luck, but suddenly the screen of her phone was pointed at him with its glowering ‘F’. Such a mark was unfathomable to him, almost enough to make him recoil in horror. Of course he remembered issuing only two failures on the quiz, disappointed in the names not yet connected to any faces. This face, however, would be difficult to forget. “You’re Ruby, right?” he guessed, remembering a girlish gemstone name popping up in his inbox, lines of texts pleading for information. Frazzled with hunger, Everett thought to dismiss her and blame it on her own error, but he saw the time flash on her watch. Technically he shouldn’t be turning students away. “If it can’t wait ‘til Thursday…” he started, processing his options. He did have a free hour thanks to a meeting postponed to the next day. “I guess I can stay for a bit. But I'll be eating lunch,” he warned, a disciplined multi-tasker. He opened the door and welcomed her inside, briefly disappearing to fetch a container of food from the break room. He sat across from her at the round table, grabbing the class textbook and his laptop. “What's your major?” he asked, curious to see how far removed from chemistry she obviously was.

[ruby anderson]

The F was haunting her. As much as she hated to admit that, too. Ruby made a silent promise to herself before she came back to school that she wasn't going to fail chemistry. So the disappointment of seeing the awful grade this quickly into the semester,  made her feel worry that her goal was unachievable. "Yeah, that's me." She nods her head quickly, wondering if he remembered her from the grade or her very frantic email. She can tell that he's indecisive. Unsure if she deserved his help or stick to the rules, it's clear he's made for himself. Though she was used to getting her way, mixing up the hours was an honest mistake. "Please." She searches his eyes with her own blue ones, hoping that he'll shoot any sort of sympathy towards her. Her pleading was short lived, for not even after she rushed the words out of her mouth was he agreeing to give her the time of day. Relief goes through her entire body. "Thank you, I won't let you regret it, I promise," she assures Everett as he ushered them into the office. The doors closes and she makes herself comfortable at the round table. He's back with his lunch and seated across from her now. He's not what I expected, Ruby takes a moment to really glance at the teacher's assistant. Her notes are in front of her and the latest chemistry lecture powerpoint up on the laptop screen. "I was general studies, but I finally decided on business. With a side of hospitality." Ruby looks over her laptop at him, as he pulls the textbook in between them. "Full transparency, I did fail this class last year. I just wanted to retake so, it wouldn't hurt my GPA.. but I am going to try. Not slack off this time," she lets the lie slip so easily. Though Ruby didn't want to put herself in this situation again, potentially failing the class, she knew in order to succeed to had to try again.

[everett howe]

357A Already this Ruby girl was beyond his comprehension—Everett could never allow himself to be late, as that was an extension of being wrong. To Everett, this was punishable behavior. In fact, he was so mortified by the possibility that he furtively checked his email outbox to be certain he had not misinformed her after all. While it was his knee-jerk reaction to assume her as irresponsible and inept, he could try to give her some credit: she did find his office, and she intended to be early (albeit to the wrong time). Had it not been for his unexpected free hour and need for lunch, he wouldn’t have been so merciful. “Please,” she says, and it’s hard to say no now. From a folder he retrieved the original copy of her quiz, laying it on the table with all its red ink. She had materials out and pulled up as well, not completely helpless. He learned that this was not her first foray into this particular class, brows raised in surprise; failing a class was simply not an option. After hearing her major, however, he isn’t surprised--anything other than the hard sciences didn’t warrant interest. She might as well have spoken a different language. “Well the good news is it’s still early in the semester,” he said to offer some hope. There was still a chance to turn her grade around, especially before the midterm in March. Gesturing at the marks on her quiz, he said: “and now you know what you need to work on.” Although he hoped some of the material would be familiar to her, he assessed that the best course of action would be to start from the beginning to solidify her foundation. He flipped through the textbook as she scrolled through the online notes, talking about the properties of matter, the different subatomic particles, the organization of the periodic table. He demonstrated with a plastic model of an atom, drew Lewis structures on paper. These were things he learned as a child, things he could recite in his sleep. A glance at his watch, finding they were already over thirty minutes in. “We can take a break if you want,” he said from next to her, realizing how close they'd moved together during their review.

[ruby anderson]

Still early on in the semester, just keep telling yourself that too, she makes a mental note even though she wasn't sure the mantra would be any help. Ruby doesn't speak as she listens to Everett speak. The failed quiz is laid in front of the pair, out on the table for them both to review. Suddenly, Ruby feels as if he's judging her. Or that he could cast judgment upon her. Though he's not said anything, or given her any indication to the fear she's having. It was her second time taking the class, after all she should remember something. Criticism was..hard for the blonde. But he was polite, giving her reassurance that it was just only the beginning of the semester. Ruby stares at him for a long minute, nodding her head as he proceeds to review the missed answers.  They spend the next thirty minutes immersed in the textbook, various notes and powerpoint provided by her professor. Ruby wished this was easy for her, just as she knew it probably was for her friend Mirren. Luckily this was the only science class she was required to take, given she officially decided on a major. It wasn't her forte. It's when he finally breaks the scientific talk that she realizes the close proximity of which they were seated. Everett was smart, every word that spewed from his lips seemed almost above Ruby's head. Even if it was just merely chemistry vocabulary. But he's kind of cute, it was something Ruby immediately noticed. "Yes. I'd love a break, my brain is hurting." A giggle falls from her mouth as she moves the material a few inches to the right. Her eyes look down to her wrist once more. "Oh, it's 3:31 now." The time flew while she was learning more than she had even last semester. "You probably have something better to do now, right?" He was half way out of the door when she first knocked.

[everett howe]

357A Although he might wish for it at times, Everett was not immune to a pretty face. He couldn’t pretend that he didn’t notice her beautiful blue eyes, the way her brow screwed up in concentration before arriving at the answer, the glimmer of her teeth when she smiled nervously. At least she was receptive and attentive, he could appreciate her effort and try to separate that from his original assumptions. He couldn’t relate to a failing grade, but if it motivated Ruby to turn her studying around and redeem her prior semester, it was technically his job to help facilitate that. It’s why he didn’t feel strange having her in his office after hours, fielding her questions, trying to gauge the gaps in her knowledge. After all, failing students reflected poorly on the teaching assistant. At her question, Everett shook his head no. “Actually I’m free for another hour,” he answered, an imaginary schedule omnipresent in his thoughts. Free was a precarious word—the stacked blocks of his schedule were enough to make most reconsider grad school, there was always something more to be done. “Some things got moved around, I have a meeting at 4:30,” he shared, matter-of-fact as he shuffled papers around on the table beneath them. “So we can keep going for a little while if this is helping,” he shrugged, taking a swig of water. If she was serious about this, he expected to see her in office hours from now on. “Are you a freshman or a sophomore?” he asked, flicking absently at his phone to clear the relentless notifications. “How are you liking NYU so far?”

[ruby anderson]

Tuesday classes finished early in the day for Ruby. She blocked off a few hours after the lectures for study time. As they are taking a quick break, Ruby's index finger absentmindedly strokes the binds of her notebook. Grateful for the much needed pause of material that would most likely never be used again in her life. Her mind is full of thousands of things and she hates that school hasn't been her number one priority. Still isn't, even as she's sat in a study session with the teaching assistant. It wanders off to how much trouble she'll be in if she can't bring this grade up, or what would happen if she had to come clean about the inappropriate relationship previously shared with Professor Angelo. Everett's voice snaps her out of the day dream. "Okay, great," Ruby murmurs as leans over to find the planner tucked inside the backpack that's beside her on the floor. "Thank you, again. It really is helping me." Opening the planner to the week's page, she scribbles in office number and time. "I'm writing the correct time down, just so you know." Her voice and tone is of a teasing manner. "Tell me again which days of the week too?" It could've been easier to reference the email he'd sent at a later time, but Ruby wanted it show that some effort was being done on her behalf. "I'm a sophomore, actually. It's just taking me a bit to find my way." The way she was most comfortable around NYU was not of the classroom, but of the social activities. "So, is this area your expertise, then?" She gestures to the chemistry book on the table.

[everett howe]

357A She’s a sophomore, he learns. The more context falls into place, the more Ruby and her story budge at his sympathy. That, combined with her intended major, suggests she likely wasn’t in this class by choice. Catching a glimpse of her planner, a small smirk uplifts his lips at her efforts. He tries to remember his second year of college: back in San Diego, still a teenager, competitive and ambitious. Sophomore Everett would have been strapped with classes, clubs, study sessions, independent research; invisible to a girl like Ruby. She just wants to get through this class, he has to remind himself. “No need to thank me, it’s my job,” he said nonchalantly, waving off her gratitude. “Tuesdays and Thursdays, two to three,” he reminded, attention briefly somewhere else as he heard her pen scrape into the planner pages. “If that doesn’t work, we can figure something out. After class on Friday, maybe,” he offered off the top of his head, albeit hard pressed to find another free hour in his schedule. About his expertise Everett finally laughed, endeared by her question. “Yeah. I’ve been doing this for a while,” he answered, if it wasn't already evident. It would be easier to be vague, she needn’t know about his family legacy, his internships, his accolades. “I did my undergrad in chem. Now I’m halfway through my PhD here. I’d tell you what my research is, but it won’t make any sense to you yet,” he added lightly, considering her current struggle with the basics in front of them. Then again, he couldn’t exactly understand what she was studying, either. “Where are you from?” he asked next, surprised by the ease of their conversation.

[ruby anderson]

Tuesdays & Thursday from 2:00 to 3:00, Ruby scribbles into the side section of the weekly planner. Underneath it she writes down Everett's office number, though she's certain she won't get lost next time and she'll be more punctual. Ruby also stars the respective Tuesday/Thursday to add another reminder. "Those days and times should work," she eyes her remaining class schedules and their word loads. It wasn't going to be an easy semester, especially with her having to retake a class. She knew it was going to require some dedication and time. But when Ruby set her mind to something, she didn't give up. In some backwards way, she was thought about how this could be a proving point to Professor Angelo. He would be done messing with her, especially if Everett were here to help her. All without him knowing the truth, of course. "Pencil me in, Everett." She glances up to him after making some final marks in her planner. "Seems like you're going to be seeing a lot of me. I hope you don't mind!" Ruby replies, with a soft smile on her lips. Her tone could be seemed as flirtatious, if he took it that way. He laughs after her choice of words, his expertise. His laugh brings a bigger grin than the one she previously had given him. "Good thing that you didn't try to explain it to me, let's be honest, it probably would go over my head," she murmurs, as she gestures to the graded paper in between them. If she couldn't understand chemistry a second time, she wasn't sure she'd be able to comprehend his more intense studies. "But do you like it?" She's curious as to what he thought after taking years of these sort of classes. "I'm from Westchester, it's about an hour or so away from the city. Depending on the traffic," Ruby answers and sees now that they hadn't entirely moved apart after studying together for so long. There was still a bit of closeness, neither of them seemed uncomfortable though. "My mom and her two best friends met at NYU. We always talked about going here, so it felt like the right thing to do," she's unsure why she's telling him this but it pours out of her mouth. "What about you? Where are you from?"

[everett howe]

357A He’s going to be seeing a lot of her. Little does he know that is both a promise and a warning. The eagerness with which Ruby committed to future office hours was charming if not a little persuasive, especially in contrast to how she’d first arrived. There was some resilience there, her worry channeled into action--not someone easily knocked down by a single inconvenience. She’d gone from startled and panicked to smiling enough to brighten the otherwise dreary and oppressive room looming with chemistry artifacts. He eyed her curiously, watching her planner disappear and their upcoming time set with ink. He thought of the rule book, wondering if he was giving her any unfair advantage. She’s easygoing, laughing and returning the conversation. Although normally delighted to discuss his research--as most grad students were gluttons for the opportunity to hear themselves talk—he knew it would fall on deaf ears. When she asks him if he likes chemistry, however…Everett feels his heart quicken. “Of course I do,” he replies automatically, as if his parents hijacked his tongue and answered for him. That is not something he is asked, ever. That wasn’t even accounted for in his college applications. Rather he is asked about dissertation milestones and career goals and what it’s like to have academic lineage—not about “happiness“ or “joy”! He swallows more water to quell the churn of his stomach at such a simple question. “I think I’ve driven through there before,” he says absently as she described Westchester. He had already been in New York for three years without exploring much beyond the city limits. At the mention of her parents he nodded, understanding her path as a legacy student, his slightly different. “I’m from California,” he started, running a hand through his hair. If he thought about it, Ruby reminded him of California; he suddenly missed the sun, the water. “San Diego. My parents teach chemistry at the UC there, where I did my undergrad. But I came here for new sights, new opportunities.” It seems they’d both stayed close to home for college, but he was now 3,000 miles from home and still in his parents’ grip.

[ruby anderson]

One of her eyebrows rises up at his reply. Ruby doesn't know him well, so she can't tell if he's serious or not. Judging from their forty five minute interaction, she had just checked the apple watch on her wrist, he seemed to be pretty dedicated. "Okay, cool." She responds, nodding her head. Now she's unsure if she's offended him. Feeling slightly awkward if her questions were inappropriate for a first meeting.  "I didn't mean any offense to asking if you liked it or not. I guess I was just curious about what draws you to it. I hope you didn't take it that way." Everyone had a passion, if his was chemistry and science, that was fine. In the moment, Ruby felt like digging for more information. She wasn't even really sure why felt genuinely curious about the young man seated beside her.  "You probably did. Good ol' Westchester," Ruby chuckles as she fiddles with the binding of her notebook again. California, he was a long way from home. In a totally different climate as well. She's picturing how he took survived through the first winter in the city. Shoveling snow and having to purchase a real winter coat.  "Do you miss it? California?" It's when that question rolls off her tongue that she stops herself. The twenty questions was a good distraction from the headache she could feel forming behind her right eye. As well as the scattered notes in front of her. The stress of her bad grade, along side other personal issues was certainly the cause of this one. But was it annoying him? Did they need to get back to what she came for, the study session? "I'm asking a lot of personal questions. Feel free to just tell me to stop."

[everett howe]

357A “Hey, no offense taken,” he fumbled, cursing his knee-jerk reaction that soured the moment. It didn’t help that he was usually stone-faced and serious, armed with a wry sense of humor that belonged more to the northeast than to his home state. Often he forgot to smile or be present, droning through these days under relentless pressure. “Don’t worry, you’re fine. I’ve just been doing this so long I forget that not everyone likes chemistry,” he reasoned with a self-deprecating laugh. “It’s why I like TAing for intro classes, I guess. I get to see people learn things for the first time,” he explained, hoping that would count for something. Since Ruby was just a sophomore, he was certain she probably didn’t quite know her passion yet, based on the wavering nature of her major. That was another experience he couldn’t relate to: changing majors, being open to alternate paths, making those difficult decisions. Missing California was another question that conflicted his insides. “I miss the weather,” he laughed, the most obvious discrepancy. “The beaches. Good Mexican food. Surfing,” he rattled off, remnants of a life faraway. “I’ve been out to the Hamptons and Cape Cod before, it’s almost like being back home.” He cleared his throat, suddenly aware of how much he’d been talking, how time was passing them by. “Have you ever been to California?” he asked, because a girl like her looked like she belonged on the beach. From next to her he realized he could see tiny freckles dotting her nose, the shimmer of her glossy lips. She seemed to sense the time, too; he offered a shrug, as if he hadn’t noticed. As if this was always how office hours went, with beautiful girls asking him innocent questions. “I don’t mind. I just don’t want to cut into your studying, we only have so much time left.”

[ruby anderson]

She hoped she hadn't embarrassed him but noticing his reaction and therefore mentioning it. Ruby often got herself into predicaments because of her ability to speak before giving it a second thought. The truth was she sort of admired his so-called passion, that he knew what he wanted to do with his life. She felt pressure in every which direction to pick a major, decide what that would then lead to and calculate the rest of her life. Freshman year was hard, on top of already feeling a little bit lost in life. Her second year was proving to be just as hard, except she officially decided on a educational route. Though that was still up for debate, internally for her. "Or like me, for the second time," she adds in, shrugging her shoulders and hoping to see somewhat of a smile or any other emotion than being serious. "It sounds like you've found what you obviously like, which is a good. A lot of people don't know," Ruby quickly realizes she's most likely confessing her inner thoughts with that reply. The more she focused on him, studied his actions and words, she could see him being from California. As well as having a super smart and scientific family. Everything about him screamed academic, a tiny bit of nerdy but to throw in his good looks? Which Ruby noticed right away, who was she kidding. Was she finding herself attracted to a type she didn't typically go for? It sounded as though he'd been taking advantage of living on the east coast. She smiled at the mention of the Hamptons. "My family co-owns a place in the East Hamptons, we're there all summer. It's the best." The west coast was a place she hadn't ventured out to yet, not even with ballet performances. If she maybe kept up with it, not quit she could've done more traveling with her mom and company. But that was a different story and one she didn't love to think about. She shakes her head, "I've never been actually. Always have wanted to go though." Her eyes glance down to her watch, the only thing left on her agenda was to do a few assignments. A deep sigh escapes from her, as if she were inconvenienced that he was correct about their lack of time. "Alright, we should probably get back to the work then."