. ephemeris

[ruby anderson]

ROAD TRIP She puts her empty Celsius can into a separate bag she had brought to use as a trash can. It was something ruby’s family did when they did travel further than the Hamptons, plus she didn’t want to leave his car a mess. Especially knowing now it was a rental. Ruby feels guilty for getting quiet, letting his words strike her in a way he probably didn’t mean. It was just…Everett. He was the one person who didn’t know if some of the awful things she’d done. He’s realized what he’s said and picked up on Ruby’s sudden cool tone. His hand finds her knee and she loves the feel, the comfort it brings. Little butterflies erupt more in her stomach and she braves a look at him. “It’s okay. I know I’m just being sensitive and you didn’t mean it like that…” she trails off before biting her lip a little bit harder, knowing she might regret what comes next out of her mouth. “I’m sometimes not the best person and didn’t want you to view me like that.” She prayed he didn’t ask Ruby to elaborate; inside her mind she was already preparing things to say, anything but what was actually the truth and heavy on her heart. Everett encourages the surprises she’s planned. “It’s not much but it was fun to pick out!” She finally lets a smile pull on her lips. “Sweet or salty?”

[everett howe]

8:15 AM It seemed he was always doing that: saying the wrong thing. He didn’t realize it until it was too late, when a mood shifted or body language soured, and he had to dissect his words or tone until it was pointed out to him. The social script often eluded his grasp, trailing a beat behind in conversations that weren’t centered around things he knew. It was another way in which he was in awe of Ruby: her ability to move through crowds, collect friends, command attention. “You’re a pretty good person to me,” he offered with a lighthearted shrug, worried about the wound that seemed to have picked at. This side of her—vulnerable, sensitive—always took him by surprise. Of course, he didn’t yet know the extent of her misdeeds. “Is this ok?” he asked quietly, glancing at his hand still on her knee and up at her again. On the topic of snacks, Everett pretended to be torn about the decision. “It feels too early for sweet,” he reasoned out loud, fiddling with some knobs and dials again. Signs for towns he had never heard of were flying past their windows. “Let’s try salty. I would close my eyes but I don’t want to kill us, so let’s see it.”

[ruby anderson]

ROAD TRIP Everett's hand doesn't move from the spot he's placed it on, above her knee. While she speaks the few times at him, she finds her eyes wandering to his hand. She feels a few degrees warmer with his touch but doesn't take the initiative to turn down the thermostat, which would out her immediately. "Thank you," she murmurs, nodding her head and feeling a slight kick to the gut. If only he really knew, Ruby thinks of the small list of bad things she kept in the privacy of her notes page. Hidden beneath several layers, her crimes would shock Everett and she wonders if he'd be saying the same statement. "Yeah, it's good." Ruby squeezes his hand on top of her knee, to give him more reassurance. In depths of her bag, various snacks such as pretzels, Cheez Its, Sour patch kids (two different kinds of course) and Nerd clusters. "It honestly feels a little too early for both, are you sure you want to be surprised already?" Ruby is leaned over so that her right arm is sticking into the bag while she faces him, a smile large on her face. "Would your ex girlfriend do something like this with you?" The question is out of left field, but she's so curious about his past relationship that it slips out before Ruby could think to filter it.

[everett howe]

8:30 AM It isn’t the first time that she’s hinted at this: being something other than what appears. If only he had the wisdom to believe her warnings, but Everett can’t draw any other conclusions about her when all he’s seen are good examples—a rising student, an agreeable classmate, an exciting friend (friends who sometimes kissed?). Neither of them can know the extent of their worst nor the heights of their best, separated by many factors currently eluding them while on the road. Maybe she’s telling him something but he can’t believe it without evidence, preserving an image of her in his head that won’t topple until it’s too late. He has to withdraw his hand for the purpose of snacks and it’s almost painful, but it’s a new reassurance that it’s allowed—encouraged, even. Expecting a completely different answer, Everett is shocked by her abrupt curiosity centered around his ex-girlfriend. “What?” he stutters, caught off guard with a confused laugh. “Like go on a road trip?” he surmised, taking a moment to think about it before shaking his head. “No, we never did anything like this,” he realized out loud, despite it being one of her immediate interests. Maybe she was out on the same roads as them, but he hadn't thought about her in the slightest. “I don’t really do anything like this, ever. Let alone with anybody else,” he admitted, brows unknitting from their original confusion. "And she didn't pack me snacks either," he chuckled, worried that that was her surprise.

[ruby anderson]

ROAD TRIP They’ve gotten into comfortable habits as they continue on with the journey of their car ride. Alternating back and forth between who’s picking the songs, Ruby enjoyed wracking Everett’s brain on his song choices. Getting another glimpse into the young man’s secret side that Ruby didn’t know about, yet. In between the songs, they proceeded with their typical question game. Ruby felt as though she was being relatively tame with the firing of questions. She loved to make Everett squirm but lately serious questions were slipping out of her lips. A bag of pretzels and sour patch kids were opened and placed into the console area so that they could share. For most of the time, Everett’s hand remained on her thigh. The only other contact they made was when Ruby’s hand would occasionally brush against Everett’s as they went for the snacks at the same time. “Do you think we could make our first pit stop?” Ruby asks, as she readjusts her leg that was tucked underneath her bottom. “I want to stretch my legs and go to the bathroom.” Everett immediately shifts the car from cruise control and into the lane so that they could exit the highway. The car comes to a stop and they’re parked on the side of the gas station. “I do have one more question for you first though! And it’s a good one.” She unbuckles and faces him, a smile broad on her face. “Would you kiss me now or once we’re back in the car?”

[everett howe]

10:00 AM The trip was made easier with Ruby in many ways. The minutes seemed to blur by as they would transition seamlessly between conversation, impromptu music sets and intermittent snacking. Everett would adjust in his seat every so often or turn at various controls of the car, but his hand rarely strayed from its resting position on Ruby’s leg. He was even surprised when Ruby fed him a snack concoction, letting her drop a piece of sour candy and a pretzel into his mouth, the two of them laughing at his playfully dramatic reaction, his face screwed up in disgusted pleasure at the strange mixture. The ease of Ruby’s company made him forget his scheduled stops, just now thinking of checking the odometer and gas level as well. “Good idea. Gas station here we come,” he said easily as he took the first suitable exit. Coming to a stop next to a pump, Everett turned off the car and moved to gather himself, but not before the blonde had conjured up yet another infamous question. He broke out into a smile, expecting anything other than what she does ask him—and suddenly outside of the car doesn’t even exist to him anymore. “That is by far the easiest question you’ve ever asked,” he said before he pulled her in. It was the first time since their secret excursion to the lab that he had been able to touch her and kiss her again, a triumphant return to the senses. The sound of a horn honked behind them, an impatient driver confused if the couple was coming or going. Dismayed to have to separate, Everett threw a gesture out the window, gently pulling away from Ruby to open his car door. “We’re always being interrupted,” he grumbled in realization, his features still warm with bliss. His hand finally moved off her, catching her eyes. “I’ll meet you inside, ok?” he said, one last kiss stolen before he moved to tend to the car, stretch his legs, and revel in the buzz she activated within him.

[ruby anderson]

ROAD TRIP Ruby's heart pounds extra hard in her chest as she waits for Everett to answer her question. This was the first time that they were away from curious eyes and people that would say that their 'relationship' or friendship was frowned upon. He answers her, with a big smile on his face and Ruby is feels ten times lighter that he does wish to kiss her. She feels a smile about to pull on her face, but Everett was quick to align their lips, halting the smile. His lips feel so natural upon hers, Ruby forgets about the outside world and enjoys this moment. The last time they'd kissed was when he'd done a special science experiment and she hates that she forgot what his lips felt like. The horn of a car has them spring apart, the outside world always found some way to interrupt them. Ruby pouts playfully when he gives her one last kiss before mentioning their actual purpose of stopping. "Stupid impatient person," Ruby rolls her eyes as she begin to open the passenger side door and nods her head in agreement with their plan. Ruby stretches her legs, uses the restroom and then finds herself mindlessly walking down the various snack aisles as she waits for Everett. They had plenty of things still in her bag of goodies but that didn't mean she couldn't window shop. She meets Everett head on when rounding from the chip section. "I'm all done and can't look at these snacks anymore. You ready?" She follows back out of the gas station and they were off, onto their next part of the road trip.

[everett howe]

NOON It no longer felt like they had a destination to get to; Everett was thinking about when they would next be able to kiss, ideally uninterrupted. In the car his hand was sent back to her thigh, content with the variety of conversation, music, and even silly road games. “Just a little while longer,” he said, pleased with their timing. They had long since passed over the Pennsylvania border, winding their way through central New York. He almost felt bad for his lack of interest in their new surroundings, much more taken by his present company. Now this felt natural, normal—like they were just two young kids on a their way to a date, albeit several hundred miles away. “Hey, I’ve been thinking about something,” he started, wiping his hand free of crumbs. Trying to keep the car clean was a lost cause, tiny bits of sugar and dust settling into the crevices. He would deal with it later, scheduling his worry in the future. ”You asked me a long time ago. And I’ve never told anyone this,” he continued, a flutter rising in his stomach. Already he felt vulnerable, naked. ”If I could do everything over, I wouldn’t pick chemistry,” he admitted, having to remind himself to breathe. "I’m good at it, but I kind of hate it…” he finally said out loud for the first time in his life.

[ruby anderson]

ROAD TRIP The time went pretty quickly as the rest of the road trip passed outside Ruby’s window. They found themselves passing the time in typical fashion - Ruby asking Everett fifty questions and him begrudgingly playing along. Every now and then though, she saw a smile curve on his lips that let her know he didn’t hate this game all that much. They threw in a few other games and Everett’s hand remained prominent on her thigh. Which thrilled every bit of her. She looks over at his GPS which does confirm his statement, they didn’t have much longer. “And we’ll head home right after, yeah?” Ruby wasn’t sure what to anticipate still with the eclipse, but she was anxious (in a good way) to hear the cute, nerdy side of Everett speak about it. It’s a few moments later that he chooses the moment to lead the conversation, bringing up a question she’d ask previously. She wanted to hit his arm when he started the sentence with ‘I’ve been thinking about something,” for it made her heart drop instantly to her stomach. Instead she let him finish, hearing his confession and a genuine shock filling her. “Everett..” she trails off, feeling his vulnerability hanging heavy in the air. Her left hand squeezes the right one her thigh, offering some comfort. “What do you think you’d pick?” Ruby murmurs softly, not wanting to push him too much.

[everett howe]

NOON Everett's twenty-five years of life were unraveling with this girl he had known for only a few months. This quickly she was able to see right through him, challenging the core of his identity with her innocent curiosities. She had chipped away at his defenses bit by bit, and now Everett was freely offering information he had never allowed even the darkest parts of him to put together. But Ruby proved it was safe to do so, feeling her hand over his, his name falling from her lips in comfort. He examines her face for a moment, wishing he could pull over and embrace her. “I like science history,” he answered easily, his features crinkling with thought, trying to permit his imagination. “In all my classes I’ve always liked learning about how discoveries were made, the biographies of famous scientists, all the background stuff,” he explained, a secret interest that kept him going all the years. “Like this eclipse stuff,” he started excitedly, remembering. “In the 1500s, astronomy was already pretty well established. Christopher Columbus was on an island in the Caribbean and convinced the native people that he was basically a god because he knew there would be an eclipse there,” he recalled, fascinated by the ripples left in history by this. “I don’t know, maybe in a different timeline I would get a degree in science history. Maybe study abroad in England or Germany, since a lot of stuff happened there,” he trailed off, never having been able to think of his own path for himself. It was strange but exhilarating, this rush of truth spilling out. “My parents would kill me if I became a historian,” he laughed, almost shuddering at the idea of their disapproval.

[ruby anderson]

ROAD TRIP Ruby listens to him speak about the what if’s and it’s the first time she’s realized that Everett’s life has always been made up for him. Ruby was made constantly aware of her indecisiveness, alongside an undecided major. But Everett’s situation was much different. In many of their interactions, he’s made it known that chemistry and science were all that he knew. He’s made little comments here and there about his family, but nothing of this sort has ever been mentioned. More often than not Ruby felt like she was one that spoke deeply about her troubles of feeling like a failure and a fraud. She squeezes his hand, with more reassurance as he proceeds to pour his heart out. “I’m trying to imagine you now, studying abroad and immersing yourself in all of the historical culture,” Ruby smiles as she tries to picture Everett seated in a tiny English pub. “I’m happy that you felt comfortable enough to tell me and I bet you’d be really good at it,” she murmurs as she lets go of his hand that’s on her thigh, though Everett’s hand remains. With Everett, her cold exterior seemed to melt away and she thinks of her friends who rarely saw this side of her anymore. “What are your parents like?” His last statement brings further curiosity from Ruby. Were they hard on him or did they just want the best? Their questions and conversations were treading in a more serious manner and it made a Ruby’s heart beat faster, preparing for what other things and secrets could be shared.

[everett howe]

NOON As if the floodgates had been released, Everett suddenly couldn’t stop talking. It all came tumbling out, unedited on the fly, maybe easier with the road stretching out underneath them, New York City behind them, and Ruby next to him. She indulges this new information, sharing a vision of his hypothetical life. “I don’t even know what I would do,” he laughed, nervous about letting his imagination run. “Work in a museum maybe, or write a book or something," he continued his stream of consciousness aloud. Ruby thanks him for his openness and it catches Everett off-guard, barely accustomed to the invitation let alone the persistence. “You’re really easy to talk to,” he commented, fingers pulsing in hers. “You’ve stuck around long enough to unlock some lore,” he teased, as if she had passed a probationary period. Several months later he was finally answering some of her most burning questions, no longer skirting around the truth. When she asks about his parents, they are toeing a worrisome line. “My parents are…” he started, mouth running dry. A lifetime spent in their collective shadow, just a representative of their name, a continuation of their legacy, suspended of his own identity. But Ruby isn’t asking about their careers or accolades; he didn’t have to follow the usual script. “Honestly they’re just really boring, grouchy old people. You’d hate them,” he allowed himself to laugh, certain that they would not approve of his entanglement with Ruby either. He could imagine the judgment cast: she isn’t smart, she’s not in STEM, she didn’t fit their mold. “They were older when they had me, and it was just me. So I don’t think they really knew how to handle a kid. It was really stuffy growing up, they set everything up for me how they wanted. I didn’t really get to be a kid or do regular kid things, they were too demanding,” he explained, his features slackening. Rigid, emotionless scientists funneling him into their idea of worthiness. “We’re not super feel-y or close. We chat once a month or so, mostly just talking about research,” he added, hoping a sufficient enough picture had been painted. “Geez, I’m sorry, that was a lot,” he chuckled nervously, in disbelief of all this.

[ruby anderson]

ROAD TRIP Ruby listens and says nothing, giving him all the space he needs to let everything out. Though she’s only known Everett a short amount of time, this is definitely the most he’s ever truly spoken about himself. So she gives it to him, nodding her head and turning down the music that suddenly seemed too loud. A shocked laugh slips out of her lips when the first words he uses to describe his parents were boring, grouchy old people. “Sorry, that’s not me laughing at you, just laughing at the way you said it. Continue on,” she prods him as he stopped to slightly smile at her reaction. Their family situations were almost two opposite of worlds. Where Ruby’s parents dominated the social aspect of life, Everett’s competed for gold in academics. It brings a sort of fear to her, thoughts racing in her mind on if things progressed with them, how much they would disapprove of Ruby. “That sounds really hard and maybe a lot at times?” She offers up her opinions lightly, giving him assurance that his feelings were justified. “I’m not the best person to give advice about this..” she trails off and finds her hands wringing themselves out, tightly as she opens up a tiny door to her brick wall. “I broke my mom’s heart when I quit ballet. Said I couldn’t do it anymore. But I can see why you wouldn’t do the same. You have a lot of time and effort dedicated into all of this.”

[everett howe]

12:30 PM This is the most he had ever revealed to Ruby at once, and truthfully, if he thought about it, probably the most with anyone in a long time—if ever. With some guilt he thought of his ex-girlfriend who never got to learn this much about him, although she also never asked these types of questions. He didn’t know what it was about Ruby, if it was her sheer persistence or if it was something inherent to her nature, what made her magical and magnetic to everyone she encountered. Even now, he appreciated her thoughtful silence and welcoming words, knowing exactly how to keep him comfortable. He didn’t need advice as he knew the path beneath his feet would not be changing. Halfway through his doctoral studies, he had already sunk seven years of his young life into this. But it felt good for someone to listen and validate some of the secret feelings he harbored. “It’s ok. I’m still going to see it through,” he excused, patting her leg in reassurance. The influence of his parents would win, he had accepted that truth long ago. “Is it terrible to say I'm glad you quit? If you hadn't, you might not be here and I might not've met you,” he offered, wondering where that timeline might have taken her. His eyes fell to the GPS, their arrival coming soon. "Almost there, and we'll have an hour or so to kill before it starts... What do you want to do, maybe go get lunch or just park somewhere and hang out in the car?"

[ruby anderson]

ROAD TRIP She understood why he had to see it through. For the longest time all she wanted was her parent’s approval until the devil on her shoulder fought harder for the opposite. The feelings of insecurity struck the blonde girl in odd ways, including shutting down and refusing to do something she used to love. She looks over to Everett as he speaks her first thought into existence- he would proceed on even though it wasn’t his passion. He gives her an extra pat on her leg and she smiles downwards, her gaze upon her own lap. She sees the redness that the motion of that wringing has done to her hands and she gives her right hand an itch before she releases them, letting the redness slowly subside. His words shock her, but make her heart flutter in her chest and send a wave of butterflies throughout her stomach. “You are?” She asks before thinking how silly her question was. They spent a lot of his and her free time together, some dedicated to chemistry and others to fun activities like such. But it felt nice to hear and Ruby feels her teeth tug on bottom lip at his compliment. “Why don’t we park and hang out in the car? It looks like a nice day too, maybe we could walk around?”