. double space

[thompson weathers]

t. weathers Getting there.

[jane ridley]

JANIE Great, just file kidnapping charges. Problem solved, can you be fun now?

[thompson weathers]

t. weathers Not gonna do that to her. No, and I hate it.

[jane ridley]

JANIE She would probably do these things to you in 5 seconds if the role was reversed. Yeah, I can tell.

[thompson weathers]

t. weathers Be honest, would you trust me with the kids if the roles were reversed? I've been drunk for two weeks. Sorry you bore the brunt of it, didn't think you'd be here. Why are you here, again?

[jane ridley]

JANIE God no, but still. Even if you were an amazing father she'd be on your ass the second you stopped returning calls. What can I say, I'm good for a surprise. Here for the summer with someone because I can be!

[thompson weathers]

t. weathers But I'm not. I'm the worst husband and father ever so I had this coming, it doesn't feel right to fight it. Trippy seeing you here.

[jane ridley]

JANIE Then actually finalize the divorce and be done with it. Or eventually you will just die, and she gets everything which. Oof. Idk, I like the East Coast vibe?

[thompson weathers]

t. weathers I'm not giving her half of everything, that's insane. Thinking about moving?

[jane ridley]

JANIE Killing yourself gives her full. Not for now, LA still needs me. Though I truly am getting my gossip fix out here.

[thompson weathers]

t. weathers Won't have to be there to see it. Come on then, take my mind off it. What's the tea??

[jane ridley]

JANIE But then the world is just so much more boring. We can't let a middling Weathers win. I'm sure your mind is soup right now anyway. Hmmm...the home across from where I am, the De Frisco's, the wife is actively hooking up with their landscaper. I could see them fucking on a lounger from our second story. Aisha Van Buren and Freddie Beaumont are having another baby, Olivia got read to filth on TikTok for a fake cheating scandal from a couple weeks ago. Family chefs fucking family chefs. A cocaine shower at Moby's. Sophie Townsend almost drowning at the Bezos party. You're a new addition to the book, I'm afraid.

[thompson weathers]

t. weathers So where do you rank me? God, all so fucking pedestrian and predictable. If I had my kids I'd try taking them to an underground rave or something.

[jane ridley]

JANIE Depends on what I’m ranking. The easiest currency these days, unfortunately. People want digestible and things that don’t involve them. I avoid the kids, they’re too young to be able to affect things. Teenagers? Fair game.

[thompson weathers]

t. weathers I'm surprised you're talking to me at all. Does your new man have kids?