fine wine.

[lily mccarthy]

L I L Y i'm sure they'll dissect every little thing whether it's about him or not. how it works when people take a lead and run. you'll just have to become a queso girl now, i had a love affair with tex mex when i was in austin for ACL a couple years ago. are you nervous for a fresh start at all?

[elyse condon]

e l l i e and that’s just the life of being a celebrity! oh god. people have told me about this, this will so not be good for me. i need to find a pilates studio asap. i am nervous but i feel good too?? i know a few people down in dallas from nursing school, so that’s helpful too!

[lily mccarthy]

L I L Y not my favorite part, that's for sure. knowing you you'll be just fine! you were always great at figuring out how to get things done or what you want to do and go for it. perfect example doing this travel assignment! ugh, i'm going to miss you so much. you'll have to come to my show in dallas to make it up to me <3

[elyse condon]

e l l i e i'm sure. how are the zac feelings these days? all the compliments for me today. i just love you, thank you. i think that sometimes my 'go get it' attitude is a turn off but i'm just ready to fly for a little bit. get away from LA, see what else is out there. omg, of course i'll be there. i'm going to miss you so much!

[lily mccarthy]

L I L Y complicated, as always. the tour's probably coming at a good time, just get some distance and try to let it go. why would that ever be a turn off? if it is, they're not worth being around anyway. please keep me updated! you too, big things for all of us though!! life moves so fast sometimes.

[elyse condon]

e l l i e complicated in what sense? when is the official tour kick off date? and what day will you be in dallas! so i can tell them i already need the time off.

[lily mccarthy]

L I L Y it just...always feels right and wrong at the same time. i don't know. how do you describe how you've felt for theo? officially kicks off august 22nd, i'll be in dallas on september 27th and 28th, so mark your calendar.

[elyse condon]

e l l i e yeah, i know what you mean. exactly, really. it also felt too, like right person and wrong time? just sent an email to my travel agency saying i need that day off asap!!! i wouldn't miss it girlfriend. how are you feeling about going back on tour?

[lily mccarthy]

L I L Y For me it's maybe the wrong person who says the right things? I don't know - sometimes it is easier to write a song about than talk about. It's still personal, but removed. Best way I can put it. I'm feeling good. It's definitely...daunting, and to be honest thinking about potential ticket sales makes me a little sick but I think it'll be good! Longer tour this time by a long shot, I'll be soo tired but I loved it last time. Just going to enjoy the ride and experience again.

[elyse condon]

e l l i e just curious, but in what ways is he wrong? because of his past, the connection to your brother? and never feel like you have to justify for feelings, you can feel how you want girlfriend! talk about it if you want, or say fuck it and write an amazing song. do not think about that yet! just enjoy the buzz you're album is getting, ok? where are you most excited to go?

[lily mccarthy]

L I L Y Sure, those are obvious ones everyone can see and likely think. But then it's like...what he wants for the future vs what I might want, or if the worry I carry for him might eclipse any other feelings. I can't really remember a time that we did things in halves, and our lives aren't slowing down either? So there's not even time to figure that out even if we wanted to. Thanks, though. Just my personal outlet but appreciate you listening. Promise I won't say anything to Theo if you want to rant about him too. Good feedback so far, I really am hopeful! Europe this time. So excited to have shows there!

[elyse condon]

e l l i e that sure does sound like a complicated mess. have you talked to him about your feelings? all i'll contribute to that is  i think you have a lot of patience and zac does not deserve your forgiveness. always, girly. what I'm here for! the Theo love train has passed for me. finally. now would I turn down finally giving into that attraction and sexual chemistry? definitely not. but it's better we're just friends. god lily! europe!! that's insane to even say!

[lily mccarthy]

L I L Y Yes, we've talked about it a few times and I just...think I ended up being a little more sure about it than he did. Which happens, it's ok. Stings, and doesn't help when the public can watch some of it, but that's life sometimes. If I'm also allowed to contribute, you sound a little confused about what you want with him. So maybe both of us getting space is a good thing. I know! It'll be a jam packed schedule but so excited. It's all still crazy to me, too.

[elyse condon]

e l l i e definitely stings and doesn't help when you still care a lot. would you prefer him to be in your life any way then? friends? i wasn't confused for a while about theo. i did love him. we just seemed to get each other, felt very much in tune. that's what has fizzled for me. the sexual tension is still there. but space will be good, for sure. like you said. this is what you want, right? would you say it's your goal?

[lily mccarthy]

L I L Y He is still in my life, will always likely be in some way. In what capacity in the long term, who knows. Did you ever talk about your feelings with him either? I just don't want you to try to reframe it as an itch to scratch and then, if that ever happens, you leave with your heart more confused over keeping a good friend. I don't think I fully expected this level of success but it's what I love doing, yes. So I'm just happy to be able to do that every day.