. human error

[calvin keller]

CAL God, imagine their variety of material. What's your grandpa have again, a grizzly bear? I'd prefer someone we didn't, we'd have no expectations.

[dominic vinten cuvo]

DVC No, I meant my grandpa himself. I'm pretty sure he got taxidermized. He better have, that's where my funeral contribution was supposed to go to. Were you the weirdo putting cams in the girls' toilets at school??

[calvin keller]

CAL Ah, missed that one. Sure he wasn't dipped in bronze and placed on a plaza somewhere? Definitely was that weird kid in our Spanish class our sophomore year. Shame, I probably got suspended before he did.

[dominic vinten cuvo]

DVC ...Is that an option? Brb writing my will. Convenient. Just think of how fun the reunion will be. When it that going to be, by the way?

[calvin keller]

CAL I think people have a fond appreciation for guerrilla marketing. Why would you want to go to that? To flex that you didn't have a child and name them Rhubarb?

[dominic vinten cuvo]

DVC To see who's died or ended up poor. You don't want to get your revenge? We could stage a reunion dance and I could procure a barrel or two of pig's blood if you like.

[calvin keller]

CAL Knowing Kitty the image of her covered in blood would turn into a cult horror film movie poster in Japan.

[dominic vinten cuvo]

DVC You're right, that's too erotic and gratifying for her. Do you want revenge, btw?

[calvin keller]

CAL I'm not sure yet. Been a long time, it'd be righteous to just let it go. But it's always fun keeping her on her toes, isn't it?

[dominic vinten cuvo]

DVC I'm practicing empathy and imagining myself in your shoes. I'd spend the rest of my life waiting and plotting, is that petty? But if you're righteous you get to be a saint and I might want sainthood.

[calvin keller]

CAL I think if an opportunity presented itself I'd be open. But if I wait and claim to be above it, maybe I'll organically be rewarded, too. We'll see how virtuous the saints are feeling.

[dominic vinten cuvo]

DVC Getting her kicked out of college would be funny. Tell me some good ideas how to do it, I'm feeling spiteful.

[calvin keller]

CAL Too juvenile, you'd have to ruin her life for her dads.

[dominic vinten cuvo]

DVC That's homophobic, Calvin. This wouldn't ruin her life but now I'm inspired. What if I replaced her cat with an identical looking cat?

[calvin keller]

CAL Douse me in fennel. Thought Kitty was the altar you worshipped at.