; light of day

[stassi siminski]

s t a s s i isn't that so so crazy though? like i'm crazy and i definitely have parasocial relationships with certain celebrities, i think i'd die if i met kate bush, but to think you actually have some say over their personal lives.... how does that happen.

[jack kearney]

Jack What do you like about Kate Bush? It's a bizarre entitlement, I'm sure it has to do with more internet and less socialization. Not to be the complaining old man, but still.

[stassi siminski]

s t a s s i well her music for one, but i also think it's so badass that she basically did one tour and then noped right out of there. i love how much it's just about the music for her. are there any celebrities you'd be star struck by?

[jack kearney]

Jack That is a rarity. How do you think you'd fare with being really actually famous? Sure, some musicians and actors, but I wouldn't even know what to say. "I love you, thanks for your work"? They must get tired of that.

[stassi siminski]

s t a s s i i'd have to move to the middle of nowhere, and then i'd die bc i can only be away from NY for so long. i think some of them don't ever.

[jack kearney]

Jack I can't imagine you in the middle of nowhere. Kansas? South Dakota? That would be like your solitary confinement. Probably not. You have to be a little nutty, or get that way in the process. Luckily Sylvia is still mostly normal.

[stassi siminski]

s t a s s i i'd have some cute outfits and do a photoshoot day 1, then shoot myself day 2. do you think you'll retire in the country? actors are weirder than musicians in my general experience. something v weird about pretending to be someone else for a living.

[jack kearney]

Jack It sounds like a nice option, I won't rule it out. Maybe even the English countryside. That's true, right there in the name. Do you ever act like someone else? Is your online persona totally you?

[stassi siminski]

s t a s s i wouldn't you miss your family? pretty much. i make up things about other people but i'm mostly as i seem, i think.

[jack kearney]

Jack We can always travel. I’ll be a Montana summer visitor, it's a nice privilege. I will admit now, I haven’t watched your content. What sort of things do you make up?

[stassi siminski]

s t a s s i not if you're old you can't! i would advise you don't, it's for the girls and the gays 💗 i sometimes switch up their jobs, or even make up things they said on the date if i need to drive engagement, it's not very real.

[jack kearney]

Jack Why not? Hopefully cars will fly by then. Sylvia will give me a TLDR, she's a good TikTok curator. Have you ever thought about writing for a show or a book?

[stassi siminski]

s t a s s i we'll all be replaced by AI. yes i trust her to give you a clean version. omg no i'm not very good at storytelling. much better at telling people to fuck off from the door of a club, i was born for this job 🖤 what did you want to be when you grew up?

[jack kearney]

Jack That must be a sight, you could have a whole account for that. Very unoriginal but I wanted to be an athlete. You?

[stassi siminski]

s t a s s i i would loooove to but they think it would be bad for business. what kind of athlete? i wanted to be a fortune teller. one of those ones who charge $20 for a palm reading.