FT | aaron & lily

[lily mccarthy]

FACETIME BETWEEN: Lily McCarthy - Aaron Eklund

LILY doesn't think twice hitting the 'Video Call' button on his contact, phone propped up on the edge of her vanity table and bus humming steadily under her feet. As with much of the tour at this point the days, hours and to-do lists were thinning down into two things: voice preservation and general health, everyone breathing a sigh of relief at every mic she'd talked into at tech checks. What always seemed to fall through the cracks were the other things, remembered at random and dealt with immediately so she didn't forget again. It's one of these instances now that she finds herself in, jumping from her chair to sort through the list of restocks she needed in her bathroom from a PA tomorrow, scrunching her nose as the telltale sound of a Facetime acceptance meant he'd answered. Then the rattle of her phone, smacking against the wooden surface it had slid down against until he, presumably, had a nice view of the bus' ceiling and little else. "Sorry!" Lily yells, as controlled as she can, straining to hear a response. "Give me one second, if I don't remember to do this now it'll never happen and then I'll be stuck with this toothpaste I hate for the next three days."

[aaron eklund]

FACETIME BETWEEN: Aaron Eklund - Lily McCarthy

THIS all felt so strange, they could both agree on as much. The tenuous threads connecting their lives, their being fixed up by a meddling friend, the very different situations they were presently in. Introductions Aaron hadn’t had to make in quite a while, balancing questions and answers, more interest crackling with each discovery made about the girl. He wasn’t nervous or pressed about their interaction, no expectation of this except feeding simple curiosity, pleasantly surprised by how much they seemed to have in common. How easy it was to keep it going. Even over text messages the conversation was pleasant, Aaron’s phone busy in his hand for longer than usual. Still he always preferred a live call, able to discern more from a person’s voice in real time—even better was their expressions too, as the FaceTime sound rattled out of his phone indicating the call they agreed upon. However, answering her gives him a quick flash of her features and the sensation of vertigo as her phone tipped upright. “Oh, yeah, forgot about that whole moving-bus thing,” he chuckled once her picture settled, eyes drinking in their fill from the screen. "There you are. All good now," he rasped, sinking into his couch cushion as their technical difficulties seem to stop. "Well I'll be damned. Hi Lily. Nice to see you."

[lily mccarthy]

FACETIME BETWEEN: Lily McCarthy - Aaron Eklund

Lily's eyes flick down quickly to the other phone in her hand, the one reserved for the tour, rapidly texting the rest of her request to the PA before clicking it shut and tossing it away. The tone of his voice out of the speaker almost surprises her, deeper than she imagined and muffled slightly by the position she carefully adjusted to somewhere more stable. "Never something you get used to I've heard." Though the sound of swishing pavement had become more calming over time, falling in line with the stepping stones of this tour. Reaching further, performing bigger...stepping away from her past and where she'd been. Looking forward into now, hand running through her hair as she leaning back against her chair and stared. "Nice to see you too. Albeit very specific circumstances." She crinkles her nose, however many thousands of miles away from this guy. "We have weird friends."

[aaron eklund]

FACETIME BETWEEN: Aaron Eklund - Lily McCarthy

ALTHOUGH he’d listened to the first song of hers that popped up in the search bar, the rasp of her voice still managed to surprise Aaron at first, its smokiness quite startling when he studied the mouth and face it came from. She was beautiful, he already knew as much, but to see her features animated with recognition was something entirely different than a photo in passing from Jack’s phone screen. Why this girl needed help with romance, he couldn't guess “I’ve had stranger calls from stranger places,” he shrugged, waving off what would be an inconvenience to some but currently her everyday reality. They'd have to roll with it, live with being these virtual floating heads for now. “At least it’s something we can laugh at together,” he offered, perhaps a hint of compatibility in itself, testing their humor. “How you doin’ out there?” he wondered, trying to remember the imaginary trail of her tour. “I don't know how to politely ask someone if they’ve gone crazy yet.”

[lily mccarthy]

FACETIME BETWEEN: Lily McCarthy - Aaron Eklund

"You know, same." It takes her a moment to get used to the movement on the screen, so used to being inundated by the same faces and names and voices that surrounded her on the tour. It was another world in its own way, and going from that familiarity to the shifting features of a somewhat stranger felt kind of jarring in its origin. Luckily Aaron seemed to have a slight twang and an ease she could pick up through the video, feeling her own shoulders drop against the back of her chair on a laugh. Eyes drifting to the window, watching the blur of highway signs dimming in headlights. "I'm doing alright," she admits, dragging her legs up to rest her chin on as she looked back at him. Curious about what her friends had seen in him to coax this along, and what they'd deemed in her that fit with him. A puzzle in its own right, something she guessed they were destined to figure out now as she laughed again. "Luckily we're not that far in yet so sanity's good. Voice is alright...I don't- well, I do mostly sound like this, but it's more obvious on tour." It reminds her of the tea she should be drinking anyway, reaching over the grab the mug and peeking at whatever logo it displayed. "Ever been to Minneapolis?" Lily asks, turning the front his direction. "One of our producer's been collecting mugs from every city we stop in. I don't know where we're going to keep them after a while."

[aaron eklund]

FACETIME BETWEEN: Aaron Eklund - Lily McCarthy

THERE was hardly a pause to get started, as if they’d simply resumed their text conversation. The flimsy standard questions that help shape a first impression, usually a shinier version of the truth until the rose tint wears off. They’d brushed off a few sharp edges already, lending themselves to this peculiar arrangement, trying to indulge it because it didn’t have to mean anything. They’d never even have to meet. "It's pretty, I like it. Matches your laugh too," Aaron mentioned now that he'd earned one. He watched her fold up comfortably, trying to imagine the bus's commotion underway. “Nah, never gone that far north. Mostly just the south and out west,” he realized, resting the elbow that was actively angling the phone, a strangely vulnerable act to display himself. “Land of a thousand lakes, right? Or just a lot of potholes?” He leaned back, taking a cue from her comfort though she'd probably earned it tenfold since last night. “That’s a fun idea. I like postcards, those are always a crowd pleaser,” he chipped in, or magnets in the shape of the states to try to fit together. "Are you collecting any souvenirs? Or just all the fans?"

[lily mccarthy]

FACETIME BETWEEN: Lily McCarthy - Aaron Eklund

It felt foreign, to entertain something where that was truly little to lose. Maybe a few awkward conversations with friends, sure, but even then she wasn't sure what they'd expected either. It could be why she'd almost been less cautious about it all, surprised when they'd found common ground so quickly and easing into the steady cadence of texts with a strange sense of glee. She couldn't remember the last time she hadn't felt her heart beat nervously when she got a text from a boy....but then again, she couldn't exactly say her approach had ever been successful. Or normal. So this was novel, and fun, and easy, face bare of make-up after winding down for the night and tucked up in a cozy sweat set she favored when the evenings turned cold on the road. "Thank you. I don't know why but I didn't expect your voice to sound like this. I don't know what I expected really...what's the twang?" He quickly narrows down the places, nodding along as she quickly sipped from her tea again, braving another look at the mug. "There's just enough to keep you guessing," she decides, looking behind her when he mentioned the souvenirs. "I've joined the friendship bracelet craze," Lily mentions, unfolding to grab a bowl from one of the shelves in her room. "I have a Stage A, Stage B thing and when I run between I try to grab as many as I can. I think they're cute. Nostalgic." Her fingers dig through the tangle, pulling out a few to read at random. "They were probably upset with me here though, I don't really sing about lakes." She holds one up at random, placing her palm behind it to focus on the beads, bright plastic numbers reading 4:43. "Do you collect anything?"

[aaron eklund]

FACETIME BETWEEN: Aaron Eklund - Lily McCarthy

AARON chuckled at her question, couldn’t tell you how many times people placed him from somewhere else. But he preferred the open curiosity than the guesses or assumptions. “I spent a lot of time down south—Oklahoma, Georgia, Texas mostly. Army bases. Just stuck,” he explained, free hand running through his hair. “But home-grown in California, I swear.” Catching a glimpse of her mug, Aaron wondered what would be her stop next through this trail of souvenirs, which states were next. “That’s real sweet. Song lyrics?” he guessed, tilting his head slightly to try to scan the beads before she read them out loud. Things made by the hands of people from everywhere, all gathered just to see her, to see themselves through her. People who would probably give their lives just to be in this position, chatting over FaceTime. “I’m a bad fan. Tell me where to start first,” he said, cracking a grin like he was hard-pressed between her albums. He didn’t know if it would add to or take away her mystery if he did. At her question he shifted slightly, face screwed up in puzzlement. “Dog toys, apparently,” he grumbled, extracting something spiky and bright green from between the couch cushions. With a deft fingertip he rotated the camera, framing his waiting dog. “There’s the expert himself. Say hi, Ukiah.”

[lily mccarthy]

FACETIME BETWEEN: Lily McCarthy - Aaron Eklund

She didn't know why but it felt rare to hear him laugh, lips upturning in response as he rattled off states with big highways and small towns, miles of land outstretched with nothing but mile markers to offer. The bus could have been passing through one now and she wouldn't likely be able to tell a different, trying to tie her hometown experiences to isolated bases and coming up empty. Instead she twists toward her current favored state, Los Angeles slowly becoming synonymous with 'Home' after the whirlwind years. "I think it's pretty common to pick up speech patterns of those around you. Though that leads people to believe I tried to develop vocal fry and got this instead." She waves a hand toward her throat, eyes still busy untangling careful string as to not break the bracelets she's lovingly collected. "Yeah. Lyrics, song titles, love declarations...some can be clever." She holds up the Oh. OH CANADA one she'd laughed at, the words finding their way to her latest Instagram post. It still felt foreign to even her sometimes, the amount of people who knew of her now, but he was asking questions in a way she didn't shy away from. Not having to brag, or require validation. It's why her gaze drifts up suddenly, trying to piece together what she'd recommend a stranger should they ask. Aiming for the authentic answer, not one she pushed in interviews. "Holy Smokes is my favorite song I've ever written, 4:43 is probably the saddest. Met Me at Midnight the dreamiest. Oh, OH the most fun. Kick the Dust Up most underrated. There you go, crash course." She doesn't want to explain any further, allowing him the space to discover on his own until her own features scrunch in confusion at his answer. Then smoothing into a laugh at the reveal of pointed ears and a furry head tipped in attention. "Did he bury it, do you think? Or has he been waiting for you to throw it for a few hours now?"

[aaron eklund]

FACETIME BETWEEN: Aaron Eklund - Lily McCarthy

JUST asking and wondering, without tests or obligations. No one to impress or fool, simply offering honesty as it was drawn, an easy exchange free from her fans and his reluctance. A special microcosm from reality, temporary and fragile. Maybe it was that which lent its ease to their interaction, missing so much of what could not translate over the phone: body language and subtle cues and the firmness of a gaze in real life. It wasn’t often that he felt pursued by someone, either; never emotionally available. “It’s a hell of an act you’re putting on then,” he teased, the level of attention and interest unfathomable to him. It felt like she was allowing him something special with these bracelets, Aaron endeared by the show-and-tell of them. Tracks and album names he was still learning, wondering if she preferred he stayed an objective outsider or not. Not in the industry, uninterested in gossip and drama, taking her as she was: a normal person. “Thank you,” he returned to her suggestions, nodding with this private knowledge from the source. As for Ukiah, the mutt stood at attention for the toy. “He does this fun thing where he puts them in places he knows I'll be,” Aaron remarked with a wry turn of his lips. “He always wins, by the way.” A short pause delayed the sound of the toy being tossed off somewhere in the distance, ricocheting against a wall. Tucking that same arm behind his head, Aaron attempted to get comfortable again. "You missin' anything over there? How do you keep from getting homesick?"

[lily mccarthy]

FACETIME BETWEEN: Lily McCarthy - Aaron Eklund

"It's been such a long con I don't even have to think about it anymore," she continues, rolling her eyes in over dramatics. She'd heard enough jokes about smoking packs to dull the humor, having finally abandoned her favored vapes as the tour had loomed. So many subtle changes leading up to these dates, the limitless hours on the road - living half in her mind and half on a stage, features pinched for a minute at just how deep her thoughts could spiral. Clearing quickly at the gentle thank you that drifted down the phone line, smile soft as she gently nudged the now sorted bowl to the side. It's easier to refocus on the dog darting back and forth across the screen, tail wagging in anticipation at the ball she assumed was being held aloft in his hand. "Seems like a smart one - rescue, right?" She leans subconsciously closer to try to see through the mix but he's already whipping away, camera flipped back to the sound of skittering paws. Lily realizes she's pretty close to her camera now but doesn't feel the need to pull away, chin back to balancing on her knees as she ponders his next question. "I miss a lot of things, but gain a lot too. Cooking is still the big one, I think we talked about that before." In all honesty it's a tough situation to call relatable, the list of people she can complain to about it swift and short. And Aaron wasn't on that list for now, lithe shoulders coming up then dropping down in response. "I don't think I've ever really been homesick, either. Maybe once, but people can be home to me. Makes it easier that way." Another sip, grateful the tea had become bearable enough to not scald her tongue. "What about you, did you get homesick when you were away?"

[aaron eklund]

FACETIME BETWEEN: Aaron Eklund - Lily McCarthy

IT was a running joke by now that Aaron couldn’t keep away from famous friends. An accident, really, how he’d ended up in the orbits of talented, revered people who by nature drew eyes on him. It wasn’t his norm nor his preference, shirking the attention, wary of the lifestyle. “You got it. A stray, just like me,” he chuckled in response, finally tearing his eyes away from the dog long enough to reunite with her virtual gaze. Closer, drawn in, like it was just the two of them. He nods remembering their conversation, curious if her response might change every week or month he asked her. “So if I plopped you into a kitchen right now you’d go nuts?” he wondered, amused, a small thing to take for granted that he could presently see from his couch’s perch. He stood up, switching the camera again to showcase his kitchen. “I guess I’m just giving you a tour now. Awfully presumptuous of you to come over on the first date but I don't mind, I just cleaned.” He teetered around the ground floor before panning back to himself, bashful. “Home’s a tricky thing for me too,” he decided, brows knitting together momentarily. “I’ve had to learn to take home with me. Doesn’t have to be a city or a house. It can be people, but it has to be me first.” His jaw twitches, trying to decide between pictures or memories or fantasies. “But I did. I missed a lot, figuratively and literally. Maybe there’s homesickness in never having a home.” He shakes his head and rolls his eyes with a laugh: “Jesus, can’t believe I just said that. Where you off to next, Milwaukee? Chicago?”

[lily mccarthy]

FACETIME BETWEEN: Lily McCarthy - Aaron Eklund

It shouldn't have been much of a surprise that they'd eased into something already, common ground quickly established and explanations often met with additional questions or observations over blue blocks of text. But it was, in a way; Lily's comfort level teetered day to day even if she was good at masking it, sometimes fighting stage fright until the very last second. But now her heart had settled, gaze pouring over the details he was allowing her. Into his expressions, into his life, laugh soft under her breath. "I'd probably have a recipe book propped open at random on that counter - whatever page it opened to, I'd die to make it right about now." She barely notices the slip of inviting herself, skin dusting pink that she hoped cleared before he finished. Then sitting up a little straighter in her chair, allowing him the silence to speak. If there was another thing she'd learned it was that people got interrupted much too often, incredible thoughts lost to the power of another voice. She preferred the smaller moments, the admissions, nodding along because it all made sense to her in some may. She'd never see it from his perspective, maybe would never want to...but it struck something in her, too. "Sure you don't write song lyrics," she tests, looking away as the joke cleared. "I understand that though. Self preservation's important, too. A roof doesn't always mean safety." Lily appreciates when he continues on, her turn to get up as she turned the camera to a map tacked to her wall. "Chicago's correct." Stars track the stops already completed, much of the United States still sprawling and open. "I ended there on my last one, now it's barely a dent in." Her camera pans quickly, a steady circle completed to showcase the double bed covered in throw blankets and velvet pillows, the hanging rack and vanity table and knick knacks she'd cluttered on the shelves, her current life captured in the tiniest of snapshots. "Behind the scenes, don't send this to Deuxmoi."

[aaron eklund]

FACETIME BETWEEN: Aaron Eklund - Lily McCarthy

MAYBE there was something to this, someone not knowing everything about him. A clean slate to try again, offering different bits of himself, testing and choosing what emerged from shadows. What was important now to him than was years ago, what he preferred to shed light on. Not walking through minefields but plowing fresh ground, admiring the view, not suspecting anything to lie underneath. Trying to imagine Lily in his kitchen, maybe a little bold in its eagerness but just as startling in its easiness. “I was trying my hand at Thai recipes last. If you're game I'm game,” he laughed, like it'd be that simple to make and have a meal together. Aaron is happy when the last words die in his throat, in the habit of clearing it when it feels like he’s taken up too much oxygen. “Never crossed my mind,” he assures with a crooked grin, music in his heart but not his bones. It’s in everything about her: her voice, her blood, sweat and tears without even seeing her show, certain this is what she lives for. Daunting but beautiful as he was allowed to see it. Evinced in the sweep of her camera to a tour map, the next months of her life steady on this road. “Your home on the go. Looks nice,” he comments instead, free of judgment or gain. He doesn't even know what the hell Deuxmoi is. “I've never been on a tour bus before. Hold on, don't move so fast. I'm still lookin' around.”

[lily mccarthy]

FACETIME BETWEEN: Lily McCarthy - Aaron Eklund

"Maybe we'll just have to turn one of the calls into your cooking show," she laughs, and is simultaneously surprised she's reaching further into the future. It hadn't always been easy for her to look forward, not when tours like this existed day by day. Stop by stop. But her chest doesn't hurt and her heart doesn't stutter so it must be alright. Letting things come naturally, feeling something out that was foreign but without pretenses. Because he didn't seem to know a lot about her. What their friends had told him, sure, and what he'd uncovered now. But the questions seemed authentic and shifted with their discussions, learning another person through long texts and phone lines, now minute facial expressions, watching his eyes sweep across the small space when she turns back. "I make do. And then when we have hotels everything just feels spacious." Falling onto a king bed is one of the greatest gifts after a long day, pushing a button to order room service and padding around in hotel robes. Briefly she wonders when exactly her next stop is, eyes wandering and mind lost until his voice guides her back down. "That's all you get for now," she decides, flipping it back to her face once she folded back into her chair. "It's interesting. A lot of time with yourself...if I've said that before too, sorry. It's also easy to kind of space out."