; all goes quiet

[aaron eklund]

Drew swayed front row center stage to the encore song, her arm entwined with Samira’s, more friends behind them. Everywhere around them was that contagious camaraderie, fans sharing an almost religious experience together here. People of all ages and backgrounds flocking to their goddess - adorned in sparkles, layered with enamel pins, echoing the lyrics, mimicking the gestures as if practiced in their worship. With ease Lily commanded the stage, framed by lights and shrouded in fog, that signature rasp filling the venue over the instruments, the last of her homecoming shows. Jack waited dutifully for his girlfriend outside the restroom, balancing both their drinks and her purse until Sylvia returned and they could flex their guest passes and be ushered backstage. The scale of the theater shifts from this perspective, privy to a sight thousands of fans out there could only dream of. The whirring of the machine that kept this all going: staff chatter, stacks and rows of road cases, stairs and rigging and scaffolding in stark contrast to the moody show being put on behind the curtain. Aaron felt like an imposter. A new fan of this music and suddenly the album was blaring to life in the theater. An ocean of faces seemingly orchestrated by the star drifting across the stage, thousands becoming a large moving mass from his balcony seat, as if separating himself from the audience; witnessing rather than participating, an exit always viable. In an impressive display of adoration her fans screamed and cried and followed secret choreography. There she was, this girl he’d gotten to know before coming to realize this. Anticipation had clung to him throughout the day, checking in with Jack and Taylor, finding himself at this concert he’d never expected. Trying to surrender to it all and this girl he’d only seen in FaceTime frames and text messages, ready to meet her in real life. The closing song echoed to a finish, the crowd erupting, begging for more, agonizing at her loss when Lily disappeared behind the curtains. Taking it as his own cue, Aaron made his way backstage, coordinating with Dave as he was swept up in the flurry of a wrapping show, trying to stay out of the way as the atmosphere perceptibly shifted from anxious to celebratory.

[lily mccarthy]

SAMIRA can't remember the last time she's been to a concert, let alone stood so close to a stage she can see everything in glaring detail. Mouthing along to the more familiar song she knew she's overwhelmed by the roar of fans around them, so in tune with the music and the subtle shifts of the show it was like they'd seen it before. Maybe many times before, a new fan culture she couldn't fathom growing younger under her years. Her dark eyes flick around to the joy, the screams, the thousands of people packed in around them as the final instruments strummed to a close, Lily's dark hair tumbling over her head as she dropped into a bow. A lithe wave and breathy thank you later she's dancing off the stage and the cheer start to recede, lights coming back up to remind them of where they were. Samira quickly turns back to Drew, the rest of their friends, squeezing their linked arms a little tighter. "What now?" LILY had surrendered to adrenaline earlier in the evening, and hadn't looked back. Hometowns and echoing voices, beads and screams and chants and the familiar buzz of progress. Of a career she saw unfolding before her eyes, of childish hope, of the strange moment she'd had on stage, staring at someone so familiar and yet suddenly so foreign at the same time. Isaac had always been easy to find over time, in tune with the way he'd shift his weight in the crowds, what part of the friends & family section he preferred to slink into right when curtains came up. But when her gaze drifts there she finds he isn't alone, her head tilting briefly in question, maybe acknowledgment, before her mouth dipped back to the microphone and two songs later he was gone. A mirage, a hallucination that slipped through her fingers, tamping down the disappointment to the tune of a more upbeat song. Oh. OH as much of a realization as it was her reality, stepping into something new. Something curious, unexpected, Lily drifting off the stage to the tune of staff cheers, quick embraces. Holding the hair off her neck to combat the hot heat of the stage lights, fanning her face as she was given a water bottle and wandering back to her green room. LA had been everything she wanted it to be, raucous and familiar and special, and now she wanted it to feel like home. Seeking out familiar faces, hugging friends who crowded the corridors until she finally shut her door and had a moment to herself. A second to admire the flowers, to change into something easier, worn Levi's and a white tank top and a patterned cardigan, washing the stage away from her feet before drifting back out in shearling slides. Immediately she encounters what's left of the band, tucking under Joey's arm before hugging Niko, Taylor. "Not here, huh?" she whispers to Taylor, shrugging with a smile when he shakes his head. "Oh well." Then it's the crisp pull of a Corona, the timid smiles of fan who won meet and greets, parsing through the crowds until a familiarly unfamiliar figure slips into view. Aaron's back is turned but she catches the profile, the overwhelming sense of foreign surroundings bringing a smile to her face as she gently taps his shoulder. "Kind of a lot for a first meeting, huh?"

[aaron eklund]

Drew's heart swells at the sight of the crowd: a mass friendship, a brilliant sisterhood. Lyrics so deep and raw it was like they belonged to you, too; as if Lily had stolen everyone's memories and dreams. She feels older than the crowd but not misplaced, rather like a motherly figure, seeing herself in the young women around them. Snapping a few pictures with Samira against the stage behind them, Drew’s hand dropped over her friend’s on her arm, hoping she felt just as electrified. “Let’s go catch Syl!” she shrieked over the background buzzing, balancing a tiny, overpriced cocktail in her free hand in need of refilling as they migrated against the crowd and toward the side stage, flexing their special golden passes. Jack can still feel the bass pulsing through his body. Sylvia had teased him for wearing ear buds, but she would be the one with ringing ears tomorrow. He had gotten used to nights out like these, cozying up with Sylvia’s celebrity friends, his lifestyle ratcheted up a few notches, solidifying the Los Angelino experience. Dutifully he follows behind Sylvia, attached by the hand, watching her bright red head part the crowd enough to get them through to even more friends, their others not far behind them. It’s an exciting night for many reasons, feeling quite confident in his and Sylvia’s matchmaking efforts. Aaron is thankful that a beer slips into his palm, something to hold to as the world behind the curtain spun. Briefly he wishes he could shrink into the wall and just watch—the cacophony of monitors and walkies and crews scurrying to life, wondering what went where, trying to catch onto the lingo. It’s been a while since he’s been to a concert like this, not something outdoors and impromptu or a cover band in a dive bar, and certainly never backstage. Eventually Taylor’s talking to him, Niko close behind, finding his hand in Joe’s, being introduced, remembering this was Lily’s brother. Shifting on his feet and keeping out of the traffic flow, Aaron thinks this must be the strangest way he’s ever met a girl. His shoulder. Oh. Aaron half expects to find himself in the way, some pissed-off stagehand trying to usher him elsewhere. But when he pivots he doesn’t see a stranger, per se, but the real life realization of the girl he had been chatting with lately. The girl he watched a movie with over FaceTime and who he called on Halloween night to ask if she dressed up. Jesus, how was he supposed to play this cool? His features soften in recognition, taking her in, the smile and face shrunk on his phone suddenly in full view. Catching a whiff of her perfume, registering her height, the curves of her figure already dressed down from her stage outfits. He must short-circuit for a split second, fully angling toward her, taking her in. “Wow. Here you are,” is what comes out first, half a smile flashing. “That was incredible.” Catching the beer in her right hand and nothing as awkward as a left-handed handshake, Aaron’s arm floated up in request and welcoming of a hug, unsure of what was appropriate for the occasion. All of this in front of a handful of friends, feeling just as pressing as if he’d waltzed up on stage to meet her.

[lily mccarthy]

SAMIRA had followed Drew's lead for most of the night, grateful for the grace of her friend as she'd led them to their floor section, procured them cocktails, doled out lanyards with the efficiency of someone who had definitely done this before. Though Samira had a technical relationship with Sylvia she still felt she wildly didn't belong in this type of atmosphere, shocked when the flash of their badge led them further into the depths of the arena. She almost texted Aaron, you'll never believe this, taking mental notes to relay later as they were expertly guided into a designated room for their specific badges. There, others lounged and helped themselves to the bar, grabbing snacks with a casualty that she couldn't fathom feeling. A different kind of person, loosening her hand from Drew's hold as she held up a finger. "I'm going to find a restroom, be right back." LILY's head tips up in greeting, eyes meeting for the first time not through a pane of glass. Surprised at how distant that suddenly felt comparatively, aware of his stature now. The height he seemed to shrink into, the tug of lip up in warmth. Curiosity fills the silence for them as eyes flick up and down, as if one of them will blink in a moment and they'll be back to thousands of miles away, laughing through a facetime line as the miles sped under her feet. But she's on solid ground now, and he's here, and Lily's full lips split further at his seeking gesture. Something they'd been unable to test across the distance, stepping easily under his arm in a cautious hug. "Here we are," she mimics, tilting her gaze skyward again as she murmurs a thanks. Unfazed by watching crowds, so used to eyes being on her all the time now, finally tumbling into a laugh at the wild situation. "C'mon," she leads, figuring it might be easier to step all the way in versus a cautious wading. An inevitability if there was something here, lacing her free hand in his as she curved back down the hallway to the Cat's Cradle crew. Rolling her eyes at Taylor's raised brows, the flick of his eyes at their entangled grasp. "Oh, stop. I don't know if you've met my brother yet but you know these guys," the bottle in her palm tips to her designated subjects before raising to her mouth again, foamy and bright. "There's one more but the drama queen skipped out early, I guess. Anyone seen Jack and Syl?"

[aaron eklund]

Drew was relieved when Samira had accepted her invitation to the concert, remedying the loneliness of missing her husband with time with her friends instead. She surrounded herself with interesting, driven, and smart women who she loved to cheer on and indulge, drawing energy from her support system. She insisted on lunches and sleepovers and friend dates, so fulfilled by female friendship that it bolstered her marriage. A decade ago they’d briefly overlapped in circles in North Carolina, making more concerted efforts now to keep in touch, treading into their thirties. Now they were treading backstage, Drew procuring another drink and quick snack. “Got you, girl!” Drew confirmed, fingertips busy on her phone waiting for her friend as a believer in the bathroom buddy system. Aaron wishes no one else was here, but he knows that will be a very rare privilege with a girl like Lily. Any doubts of talent or fame were long gone, no longer suspicious of this matchmaking or skeptical about why they had been fixed up. No other shoe to stop, just registering the feel of her in his arms then the richness of her real laughter, no static or delay on either of their ends anymore. She’s even more beautiful in person, the bright width of her smile making his pulse falter. They can only laugh—at this finality, these prying eyes, the high of a last show. Her hand fits easily in his and he doesn’t question it, following her lead against the clamor, ending up back in front of most of Cat’s Cradle. “We just met, yeah,” he mentions easily, curious if Joe’s features would shift when he saw their hands together. A lazy toast brings more beer into his mouth, feeling like he was settling into his heels, surrendering to the chaotic flow around them. Jack figured out that most of belonging in any certain place was simply faking it. Although already privileged in height and attractiveness, he found that if he appeared calm that most would assume he was supposed to be there. Early on he’d been clueless and bumbling but quickly learned that confidence, even if feigned, was key. His semi-famous girlfriend helped too, of course. “Don’t spook them,” he reminded her as they sought out their friends, eager to see if Lily’s and Aaron’s first meeting would resemble a rom-com scene. All these tenuous threads between their friends and acquaintances weaving an interesting web showing its many connections tonight. He spotted Aaron before Lily, the girl obscured by his profile until they got closer. At the sight of their joined hands, Jack smirked at Sylvia. “Congrats, that was amazing!” Jack offered with a lazy half-hug to the brunette. He and Sylvia poured with compliments about the set and crowd. “And you two finally meet,” he pointed out, sipping from his drink. “Never gonna hear the end of this,” Aaron nearly chuckled at his friend’s smugness, looking over at Lily. All these friends and reasons to celebrate, he wondered how much higher it could even go. “What do you do after something like this?”

[lily mccarthy]

LILY always tends to rely on things like this after shows. Comfort in the comedown, breath slowing and skin cooling as she rattled all of the energy out in conversation. Tonight, however, came with an uptick of beats in her heart, nerves and cautious chemistry mingling in her bloodstream as she looked to Joe when she could bare the moment. Shifting closer to Aaron's frame when she read something like relief in his eyes. Whether it be from her choice or the distinct lack of another presence between them she isn't sure, busying herself with the familiarity between Aaron and the others. Finding humor in the fact that they had so many connections yet had stayed parallel, converging only when it felt most inconvenient. That seemed to be Sylvia's MO though, impulsive and decided, catching a hint of her friend's signature smokey perfume before red locks drifted over her shoulder and arms wound around her waist. "Hello, hello, speak of the devils," she chimes, dropping Aaron's hand briefly to embrace them in familiarity. Lacing it back up with Jack's acknowledgment, giving their grip a tug in amuse. "Trying to keep him from running right now," Lily jokes, eyes catching his over her shoulder in wonder. Would her humor hold up, was he actually scared? A lot of questions still to answer, a night still ahead, feeling her phone go off wildly in her pocket. "Depends on the night - sometimes I'm back on the road, sometimes we're going out...tonight I think my assistant booked us all dinner at Uchi?" Her eyes flick to Sylvia. "You're more than welcome to come." "Ah, I invited a couple girls to the show as well - mind if they join? They're great, you might even know Drew." Sylvia shifts back around once Lily nods, eyes narrowed as she tried to pick them out from the frenetic crowds. "Ah, I see one...let me grab them!" SAMIRA only needs a few moments to settle herself, the ringing in her ears slowly dimming as the show's acoustics slowly faded. Absently she rubs at her chest, a wired nervousness coursing through that she was desperate to tame. Unsure of its origin, even, chalking it up to her overstimulated senses as she touched up her lipstick and washed her hands. Drew is graciously lingering when she steps out, unsure what she'd have done if she'd been ditched in this maze of backstage corridors and had to find her way out. Lucky for her it seems she would have been spared either way, Sylvia's face materializing before them with an offer of introductions and dinner as she dragged them further down the hall. "It doesn't seem like we have a choice," Samira jokes but follows her friend blindly regardless, only slowing when her eyes deceived her. Blinking once, then twice, to clear her mind's fabrication...only to realize with an uneasy jolt that it really was Aaron. In with the crowd, smile tilted but there, and hand laced poignantly in with the star of the show's. It takes every ounce of her willpower to not stop dead, to rearrange her own features as if she was in surgery, cool and composed and definitely not racing out of her own veins as they're dragged into the mass. "Hi," she levels at Aaron, voice barely tipped in confusion only he'd catch before she turned her attention to Lily. "Hi, I'm Samira - lovely to meet you, great show tonight."

[aaron eklund]

Drew remained unfazed by the happenings backstage, used to the private behind the scenes of film sets and photo shoots. The fantasy started in front of the curtain, everything else was the reality to make it so. It feels rather like she’s visiting a friend at their work site, passing through the chaos with an unspoken understanding of how this all worked. Samira, though, was less privy—Drew noticed the overwhelm mute her features, trying to keep her anchored close once out of the bathroom. She’d checked her own makeup and hair, chuckling at their outfits now under the bright light instead of the theater’s darkness. Catching sight of Sylvia’s signature hair color, Drew tugged Samira along until they reached the forming of a small crowd. She introduced herself to Lily with makeup-protecting air kisses, raving about the show and prompting Samira. Jack's mind scrambled to keep the connections ordered. Most things began and ended with Sylvia, like Lily and Drew. But not Aaron. Then through Aaron was Cat’s Cradle and Samira, whom he’d met briefly at a birthday party months ago. They ran in many circles and entertained several groups of friends but at this age, revered quality over quantity. The group present was a mixed bag of professions and experiences, absorbing more recruits into their mature ensemble. With ease he welcomed the pair of Drew and Samira into the fold, hazy on the connections between everyone else after that. “So now that everybody knows each other...” he hoped, eyes darting around just in case of any hesitation before they could mobilize to dinner. But Jack did not know the depths behind Aaron and Samira. Aaron was relieved after all this that he could thank Jack rather than punch him. Maybe he was too cynical, presuming this introduction had ulterior motives or was the start of some joke. Or maybe he was surprised that this friend knew him well enough to do this, or care enough about him to do so. It would twist his stomach if he thought about it, instead shaking off the loaded glances with an amused grin, yielding to it all because of how bizarre it was if either of them explained it out loud. His grip pulsed in Lily’s at her comment, catching her gaze. “And miss all this? No way. I’m all yours,” he drawled in promise, hopefully something she wouldn’t come to rue. The plans of the night seemed to unfold further, the idea of a group dinner out making his head nod with interest. “I’d love to. My first time celebrating a show and all,” he teased, something she’d already done dozens of times and would take her away again after this weekend. There were more folks to wait for and meet, Aaron gathered, as more voices sounded in the vicinity. Aaron took a pull of his beer and by the time the bottle was lowered from his sight, Samira was in his view. The liquid stalled in his mouth, throat bobbing with a thick swallow to finally get it down. His fingers pulsed around the glass and for a moment his hand felt slick and clammy in Lily’s, like it needed to slip out of her grip. Looking toward Jack gave away nothing...this was an accident rather than a sick joke. “Hi,” he rasped in echo, greeting Drew just the same, shifting on his feet as that feeling of solidness eluded him once more. He hadn’t told Sami or Ish about this setup, convinced it wouldn’t become anything to divulge anyway. Suddenly he felt the urge to explain to Sami, hit by the guilt of keeping it from her and the shock of her seeing it in person instead. What could he say, what labels were there to reach—for either girl? Another swallow of beer had his blood buzzing, trying to look anywhere but Sami. That option to run suddenly sounded very appealing. "I'm good to go," Aaron offered, hoping this group would whittle itself down, that people would bow out and leave them be. "I see you got plenty of flowers already," he said quietly, tugging Lily closer. "I didn't bring it in but I brought you something."

[lily mccarthy]

SAMIRA's almost rendered speechless, completely out of her depth in this situation. Their acknowledgment is brief, and awkward, Aaron not offering anything further as her gaze kept slipping to the tangle of their hands. Should she say something? She grimaces at even the notion, suddenly feeling like the outsider she was, looking in on a bubble she definitely wasn't apart of. An aching loneliness, a quick bite of betrayal; feelings roll through her veins fluidly, shifting under every second as she allowed Drew to take the lead. Grateful that this is what her friend excelled at, peering briefly over her shoulder and wonder if she should feign feeling ill. Remove herself from this...date? It's bewildering enough for her to remain, incapable of recalibrating and accepting what was in front of her: that his deadline seemed to have pitched forward, wrapped sweetly around the center of attention. LILY doesn't notice the sharp tension, the flicker of recognition that passed between the pair. Not when there's so much familiarity stepped in this circle, conversations flickering amongst long sips, laughs shared amongst some of the people closest to her. She looked forward to seeing Elyse in Dallas now, Cleo and Theo crossed off her list at previous shows. A trailing line of familiarity, the only glaring omission just an apparition in the blindspot of stage lights. It's easier to shake him off tonight, grateful suddenly that he wasn't here to witness this. Maybe even ruin this, her grip tightening suddenly on Aaron's at the thought. It's quick, unintended, but the reality remains: Isaac would have taken one look and she would have read it all over his face, letting it linger way too long for anyone to feel sympathy for. A curse of her own making, shaking it off as the group made motions to leave. "Me too, let me just grab my stuff - we'll meet you at the garage," she directs, shifting Aaron's arm to her shoulder as she led them quickly back to the green room. The only place that provided any kind of silence or privacy, leaning in to the murmur in her ear and feeling her skin heat right back up. "Did you now?" Lily questions, door opening to the remaining flowers as if to answer his observance. Plenty had been carted off already, donated to local hospitals to give them a second life she wasn't able to nurture on the road. Absently she thumbs the petal of a Lily of the valley with a smile before breaking away to grab her suede jacket and swap out of her shoes to worn loafers. Slinging her bag over her shoulder she takes a second, drinking him in for the rare moment they could be alone. "So does that mean I'll have to wait another few months to get it, or is it outside?" A pause, then her voice again, low but warm. "I know this is....kind of overwhelming, but I'm glad you could make it."

[aaron eklund]

Drew felt in her element as the conversations and introductions flared between everyone. Already she rubbed elbows with many famous people, mentally adding Lily to her network of influential artists and impressive women. Lily has the magnetic presence of someone special, this backstage hive quite literally buzzing around its queen, but when Samira introduces herself Drew doesn’t think her friend is starstruck so much as she has seen a ghost. Sipping from her cocktail, Drew looped her elbow in Samira’s in case she abruptly forgot how to stand. Unfortunately the group mobilized too soon for her to enjoy any privacy with her friend, finding themselves all packing into an Uber, the girls languishing on a plush row of seats together. “Sweetie…what was that?” she whispered from the side of her mouth, sat between Samira and Sylvia. Jack had counted heads and coordinated with Lily’s assistant to transfer the group to the restaurant. The logistics man and sometimes self-appointed group dad just based on his age, he made sure everyone was ready, had all their belongings, and could commit to these luxurious dinner plans. “Hey Aaron, why don’t you drive Lily there?” he suggested before the pair split off toward the green room. In the Uber he sat up front with the driver, usually much to Sylvia’s chagrin as he simply had to chat up the strangers who so kindly provided them services. Aaron hopes by the time they are back, the apparition of Samira has disappeared. Part of him wanted to make up an excuse to abandon dinner plans, the other part was worried about sparing himself that much time to react or think. Comparing the options, he would rather be here so he shoved aside that waiting reality. Lily’s shoulders under his arm dragged him back to Earth, tossing his beer bottle in a bin they passed once it whispered empty. Another facet of backstage being unlocked to him, wavering in place as he looked curiously around the room. “Not as green as I expected,” he noted out loud, hoping his dry humor would hold up beyond their phone messages too. Sure he was friends with half of Cat’s Cradle, but not enough to tag along on their tours or saunter around their backstage. Vaguely he wonders about the things on Lily’s rider, although now he had heard bits and pieces about her pre-show traditions and post-show routines, reminding himself this was just her job--and for the day, she had shed her uniform. He has barely registered that they’re alone until they’re both just looking at each other, cobalt gaze unabashed as he appraised her, days of wired anticipation pooling into the unmistakable heat of attraction. These weeks of exploration and talking, gaps that could only be filled in in person, chemistry shifting to something palpable once rendered in the flesh. His lips turn up at her question, shaking his head. “Nah I wouldn’t make you wait. It’s outside,” Aaron answered, something he’d made waiting on his passenger seat. Daring to press nearer, the proximity helps mute his thoughts, taking her fingers in his. “Me too,” he returned, thumbing the top of her hand. “I should’ve done all three shows,” he mused, like they could rinse-repeat their introduction each night. “I’m kind of a fan now.”

[lily mccarthy]

SAMIRA knew she couldn't hide her reactions for long, posture still in Drew's hold as they were led through the confusing maze that was backstage. A flurry of strangers, of hours ahead having to follow whatever rules Aaron seemed to have set for them. Her stomach lurches again, skin paling in the car once they'd all settled in. Drew easily takes notice, always a perceptive one, feeling her body shift closer when the car turned at the next light. "I didn't know Aaron was going to be here," she says simply. Another secret held between them, gaze drifting to the uneasy twist of her hands in her lap. She didn't realize how hard it would hit to barely be acknowledged by him, let alone see him with someone else. Someone he could openly be with, publicly even, unsure of the headlines she drove but knowing she had dedicated fans all the same. That there could be pictures, that there might be acknowledgment. She had so many questions and too many thoughts, darkness compounding in her mind as the car drew to a stop. "I don't know if I should come to this." LILY laughs, surveying the room herself for once. Not very green at all. But familiar, setup almost identical to the ones she'd had before as she drags a bottle of tea from the fridge. Her voice felt tight but strong after three nights back to back, a product of the time she'd dedicated to this tour compared to her other. No longer chasing a ghost this go round but something tangible, real, feeling the crackle of chemistry embers as he reached for her again. Her heart had flickered momentarily at the mention of him driving, still aware of the newness that wavered between them, but she knew that routine too. Safely in the stage garage, security trailing a car behind - still facets of her life that felt wild, unfathomable...until they happened. Something similar to this, shrugging her shoulders at his compliments. "I tend to convert people." Lily's eyes narrow in jest, dragging another sip of tea before tossing it in her bag. She feels light, accomplished, excited to see her friends around a dinner table and talk until she's threatened to stop. Emboldened, even, slowly realizing as she led him out that it could be a long time until they were alone again. Not studied curiously by potential paparazzi waiting, or fans who sneak looks into the private dining room, or friends who will share the wealth of their time. Her hand on the door handle flattens briefly against the wood, turning to face him with rare, clear decisiveness. "I want you to kiss me and this might be your only chance. For now."

[aaron eklund]

Drew's features remained schooled as conversations ebbed and flowed throughout the cabin, trying to balance the high energy of one part of the car and Samira’s change of heart. She watched her hands wrest in her lap, fidgeting with her engagement ring. Drew recognized the name in passing from their conversations—framed as an old family friend, a handyman of sorts, Ish’s counterpart. But the extent of Samira’s rattling at the sight of a friend? Drew mulled it over, remembering the shy smiles and mingled hands of what looked like an experimental couple. As if cued by the breath of Aaron’s name, Sylvia mentioned fixing him up with Lily. With some uneasy understanding, Drew reached for her friend’s left hand with her own, a double display of their rings in reminder…despite their missing men. Unfortunately they were already on their way to Uchi; it was too late to pivot. “We need drinks,” she suggested, tossing a reassuring smile to Sylvia before lowering her voice toward Samira. “One hour for appearances. After that just say the word and we can leave anytime, ok?” Aaron found it easy to buck off his thoughts while held under Lily’s gaze, casting the same spell on him as she had done to her crowd. Possessed them, hypnotized them, a happy army raised to her every command. Their long glances and silly humor buoy the ease of flirtation, relishing the fresh feel of her hands in his. Hands that steadied microphones and strummed guitar strings and cupped warm mugs of tea, palms which held the phone to her ear or in front of herself during their conversations. It felt good and right to realize her in person, his avoidance of seeing Samira propelling him harder into this moment, digging his heels into this fresh and fertile ground instead of the minefield he was used to. The silence crackles with something more, charged by these precious moments alone with Lily. Microshifts in expressions, breaths and hearts unsteady, curious but cautious. Partly worried about bursting their bubble, half a mind to dare against these crazy circumstances anyway. When they’re poised to leave Aaron wishes for anything but, relieved when the door doesn’t yet open, feeling like he watched her turn in slow motion. Fuck he wanted to kiss her. “Glad it wasn’t just me,” is all he says before he pressed forward into her, capturing her in the quiet intensity of a first kiss. Reveling in the fullness of her lips against the pillow of his, an arm sent to her waist and a hand resting at the curve of her jaw. The press of her curves into the length of his body, the smell and warmth of her up close, a spark turning into a fire. At once missing and celebrating someone he just met yet already knew, somehow, eyes falling shut in bliss.

[lily mccarthy]

SAMIRA almost feels sick when Drew's hand covers her. In comfort and likely in reminder, the facets of her ring bouncing off the darting lights from outside. It felt wrong to wear it sometimes, mind and heart tugging in a very different direction, but this was one of the first nights where it felt tangible that she could lose Aaron too. That he'd made good on the loose statements that he couldn't wait around forever, found someone new and shiny and available. And she wanted him to be happy, didn't she? A sharp headache of an argument forms, morals and empathy and understanding warring with selfishness, with history. Before she knows it they're there, nodding numbly to Drew's suggestion before drawing a deep breath, exiting the car with a plastered, grateful smile as they were let to a private area to join the rest of the group. Aaron and Lily conveniently, likely purposefully, the last to arrive. LILY didn't realize she'd been craving a moment like this until it was happening. The anxious pace of her heart in anticipation, the hesitant silence of her statement, the nervous jolt at the deep flicker of his tone. Those sweet seconds where the world waits until their lips touch, eyes drawing closed in honeyed appreciation. It's curious, seeking, undertones of familiarity and simultaneously something new stoking them forward. Lily slides her arms around his waist to draw him in closer, a gasp of surprise drawn from her mouth when her back hits the solid door. When open mouths part and collide, when her heart draws into her throat, when its rapid and sudden and warm, the slide of a tongue, the crush of a grip. Lily has to rip away eventually, skin flushed and chest heaving. "Ok," she rasps, voice even breathier than usual. "Worth the wait." She slides back down from the tiptoes she barely knew she had balanced on, nudging her sweater back into place as she opened the door. It feels childish almost, like they're sneaking out for the night, hands still interlocked as she led them through the garage and briefly glossed over what he might expect. An easy way to provoke a come down; monologuing security and potential cameras, eager fans and bold questions. By the time they reach the cement structure she's finally done, eyes looking around for something she wouldn't even recognize. "Where are you parked?"

[aaron eklund]

Aaron doesn’t know how long they remain like this, hearing only the shift of fabric and friction of skin, feeling the slope of her curves and the slip of her tongue. Like they’d been waiting for weeks but unable to reach through their screens for it, laced in risky jokes or lingering glances, private thoughts after they hung up and realized how far the separation truly stretched between them, curbed only by the anticipation of this night. Aaron had tried not to build her up in his head, avoiding gossip or internet searches, letting her deliver the version of herself she wanted for him instead of the other way around. And it startles him how much he likes this version, real-life merging with the electronic. When they finally pull apart he laughs a little sound of disbelief, smoothing back his hair, fixing the alignment of his jacket. Like he couldn’t still taste the tea off her tongue. “I guess we should go,” he rasped sheepishly, hand lingering against her hip before the door could hope to open. With how many people swarmed around her at all times her absence wouldn’t go unnoticed, especially with a dinner to lead. In the garage he listens to her talk about what might happen outside, joined hands swinging between them, cautious but understanding, still busy warding off other thoughts already. The concrete structure echoes with their voices until the clip of his car’s horn sounds with a flick of his keys, a sleek but unassuming classic coupe that he’d worked on over the years. He opened the passenger side door first, gesturing for her to enter with a courteous “Ma’am.” In the driver’s seat, he started the engine and reached into the back for her gift. “I made this,” he prefaced, handing the tissue-wrapped parcel to her. It was a small wooden box engraved with the name of her ongoing tour, sized with her growing collection of friendship bracelets in mind. “And since I figured you got enough fresh flowers…” he started, waiting for the lid to open to the wooden flower he’d crafted. Simple but carefully sanded and oiled, a center circle rayed by a few rounded petals. Drew's concerns lingered on Samira’s hesitance, trying to distract her friend and draw her out of her head via mindless conversations, requesting bright and cheerful songs to fill the cabin as the streets of LA peeled by to their destination. Shuffling out of the Uber and into the restaurant—led to a private section strictly for their large party of guests—Drew settled again in the seat next to Samira in case her friend needed her. Drinks came out first and plates were promised next, conversations murmuring in speculation of their remaining guests. The hour started now. Jack was pleased to find the arrangements taken care of when they arrived, the staff kind and generous in their welcoming of the group. Jack seated himself next to Sylvia after chatting animatedly with the servers, echoes of his old diner business days emerging. When the pair of interest finally slinked in to join them, Jack concealed a self-satisfied grin into the curve of his glass. They looked flustered and preoccupied, Jack thought, watching Aaron trail Lily, switching sides with her after a gesture toward his ear, finally seated across from Samira.

[lily mccarthy]

LILY's steps echo across the chasm of concrete, pleasantly unsurprised when the lights flicked bright on his car. "You worked on this, didn't you?" It's an easy question to answer on her own, hobbies and interests traded blindly over the hours they'd racked up. Always busy with his hands, wondering if it felt listless or calming to hold hers. But he'd yet to waver, spare small moments of temporary chivalry, the hint of polished leather and something clean lingering in the cabin as she buckled her seatbelt. Lily purposefully keeps her eyes forward to not spoil any surprises, but his gift is even more than she expected. Thoughtful, purposeful and special...she isn't quite sure what to even say, touch tracing the smooth lining of the box before she deposited the collection from her wrist. "This is beautiful, thank you," she finally manages, twisting the wooden flower between her fingers. It slips effortlessly into the pocket of her cardigan, hand hovering over it now and again as she fed him directions to make sure it remained. Her other resting easily behind the gearshift, heart pitching every moment he'd knit his touch into hers. They're not too late behind everyone but it's impossible to join unnoticed, taking their seats in the middle of the large table. It was fortunate that they were able to avoid a photographer storm or anyone lingering outside of the restaurant, blissfully unaware if anyone had snuck a secret shot for the time being as menus appeared, wine was poured, and Lily nudged her seat a little closer his direction. "I hope you don't mind sushi." SAMIRA all but sinks her first glass of wine, liquid courage needed to get through what was left of her night with this group. In any other instance this would feel unearthly, chirping texts with Ish about who was in the room, what she was experiencing. Instead she feels sick and uneasy, the two chairs across from her brazenly empty as if taunting her. That they were alone, doing whatever, while she spun a burning ring around her finger and wondered what else he'd been hiding from her. What had changed and when, what she did or did not owe him now. Their arrival finally breaks up the endless questions in her head, heart sinking further when she watched the subtle shift. Knowing who was priority right now, gaze dropping quickly to the chopsticks that were being laid out at every setting. Trying her best to engage in small talk with the other girls, every once in a while feeling Aaron's gaze flick on her and her answer. It's only after the first rounds of rolls are cleared, more wine ordered and energy buzzing, that the inevitable happens. Samira feels a dark gaze shift her direction, watches Lily's soft features tilt curiously, and hears the soft rasp of her voice through her static panic. "How did you meet Drew and Sylvia?" "Oh," she starts, surprised, mouth filling with words before her mind can catch up to them. "Drew and I met when we were both going to school in North Carolina...and Sylvia came with her when we both ended up in Los Angeles. I also..." she almost stops but can't, feeling like she's finally looking at Aaron for the first time tonight as she straightens in her chair. "I've actually known Aaron for a long time, too. Funny how small the world can be, isn't it?"

[aaron eklund]

Aaron offered a half-smile at Lily’s question, an easy guess as she learned the extent of his hobbies. Usually things with engines and motors, some fresh additions and others having stuck for more years than he could remember. “I can't leave it alone,” he let on, a story for another day. Under the overhead light he quietly watched her discover the gift, thinking on the hours it took to construct the box, mulling over dimensions and hinge types until it seemed to come to life on its own. No matter the piece he’s always shy to watch its reception, busying himself with car controls until her voice finally came. “I’m glad you like it,” he returned, relieved at the sight of her bracelets dropping into it. The lace of their fingers over the gearshift is almost enough to make him forget what might be at the restaurant. “Feels like a movie, gettin’ tailed,” he laughed once they were out of the car, her security close behind. He briefly caught their reflections thrown across glass panels in his periphery, something solid and foreboding building in his throat before they entered the restaurant. Immediately he discerns Sami’s familiar curls, grateful that her back is to them when they arrive and his hand finally leaves Lily’s as they’re welcomed by staff and shown to their seats. If Samira even lends her gaze it would feel like a spotlight boring down on him, feeling almost self-conscious as he pulled out Lily’s chair and settled next to her and across from Samira. “Nah I love it,” he assured at the promise of a sushi dinner, wondering what vegetarian options would be available for Samira. His attention drifts between different conversations, eyes amongst surrounding guests. Wine overflowing, plates clattering empty and then filling again, Lily still quietly holding court. It’s painful to sneak glances at Samira, spearing at a roll with his chopsticks to keep his attention at bay. Murmurs about music and jobs and the holidays, swirls of noise around him he fades in and out of until Lily starts talking to Samira. Finally he lets his eyes rest on her, unable to pull them away, maybe even what prompts his name from her lips and a wave of guilt ripping through him. “Yeah, small world,” he echoes without much thought behind it, reaching for his glass. Sensing Lily’s curiosity, Aaron looked back at her. “My other family that I mentioned,” he attempted to fill in, reminders of conversations early and still vague. “Her brother’s my best friend,” he added, another prominent feature of his many stories. Vaguely he heard Drew chime in about Ish knowing her husband, another actor, and something about the six degrees of separation. Aaron thinks about how he last saw the Deols for Diwali, traipsing through the home he’d helped clean in preparation of the holiday, food and decorations and candles making for a vibrant festivity. He let himself observe from a vantage point around the fire pit, watched as friends filtered throughout the house and backyard, admiring the growth of the garden he’d started. But he realizes it’s the tip of a candle’s flame that he’s watching, not the fire pit, and he’s not in the backyard; reeling out of his own head, Aaron shook off the daydream and finished a bun off his plate. “Pardon me. I’ll be right back,” he murmured out the side of his mouth, excusing himself as someone on the other side of the table returned from a restroom trip.