Post by Deleted on Jun 13, 2014 7:16:39 GMT
 full name Kira Hazel Kavanagh ________________________________________  October 11th, 2013 was the night my entire world changed. At around 11 am, my doctor called me into his office. He handed me this sheet of paper, and with a disappointing look on his face, I knew what was inside that Godforsaken letter. I skimmed through the thing, and found what my heart didn't want to read. HIV...RESULT...POSITIVE. I was HIV positive. I was HIV positive. I WAS HIV POSITIVE. That phrase kept replaying over and over in my head. It was like a bad dream that I never woke up from. My beloved boyfriend, Hudson, had given me HIV. I had contracted HIV from my boyfriend. I knew he had HIV/AIDS, and we were always so careful about sex. I contracted this disease from a man who changed my world...or so I thought. My entire daily regimen changed. I began taking, or what seems like, thousands of medicines. I'm super careful about sex now. I'm scared to open up to people. I just...HIV has changed me. I'm careful with people I let in. I'm not prone to going out as much. I'm blocked off. I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared... ________________________________________  Hudson Asa Bennett. Twenty-four years old. Ex-fiancé. He's deceased. He died a mere six months ago. He was HIV/AIDS positive. He had contracted the disease at the young age of eighteen from his then girlfriend, Nicole Jameson. He was rough. But gentle. Kind, but unruly. Innocent at times. He introduced me to a plethora of drugs. Taught me so much about sex, and love. He treated me like an adult, and he took me in when my family didn't want me. He treated me with respect, and I knew that he loved me. We met when I was only sixteen, and he was 21. This is when things began for us. It started as just sex. That's all either wanted. And yes, I realize how fucking twisted that was. But come the fuck on. I was out on my own, out on the streets. I was frightened, and I had no other family to go to. He let me in his home, and opened his heart to me. I lost my virginity to him, and we shared lots of things. At first I wasn't sure about him, but Hudson began to open up to me. And I to him. He knew the deepest darkest secrets of my life, and I of his. And when he told me he was AIDS positive, I knew we had to be extra careful. And when we found out that I was HIV positive...that crushed him. And when he died..that crushed me. I'm still reeling. Still grieving over it. Over him. ________________________________________  I met Ithika Forsyth on a chance meeting back in 2012 when I was 18 years old. She was in Chicago scouting out places to open her newest club. She thought I would be a perfect member on her team, and brought me on. "Exotic" dancing isn't exactly what I've ever pictured for a career for myself. Especially being so young, and so inexperienced. But, I've honestly never felt ashamed of my job. Or ashamed of what I do. I've never been scared for my safety at her club. It's high clientele. I get paid well. And I'm taken care of..between Ithika, and the men there. And the men that Hudson hung around. I get paid to take my clothes off, and I might have a side job...but who knows. I get dressed up, in my bests, in my reds, and go on stage and take it all off. I don't think my family would necessarily approve of my job, but they're all fuckheads who haven't shown their face to me since I got kicked out years ago. They didn't appreciate me then, and they sure as hell don't appreciate me now. I like my job, but I don't think I'll stay with it forever. I do want to go to college at one point, but my job is my job. And it's stable. It's all that I can ask for. ________________________________________ your name Karen |