feeling this:

[percy de vane]

Percy was sure a hardwood floor was somewhere underneath the heaps of clothes. The outdoor hiking sack his mum had given him for Christmas was drifted across the only chair in his studio apartment. Since being back in the United States, Percy had limited contact with the real world. His blackout blinds were pulled tightly together, allowing no light to come through. Leaving the only source of light to be the small night light in his bathroom. The only times he left bed were to develop photos from his Central American trip or munch on stale potato chips in his cupboard. A smell was probably forming in tiny space that he was currently calling home. But not even the fowl odor would stop him from hibernating for days. After spending months in an endless amount of foreign cities, New York City greeted him with colder weather and scattered showers. He was used to the rain now, not bothering to even use an umbrella. London was so unpredictable with its showers, New York rain was at least  calm when graced by its presence. The curls on top of his head had grown four or five inches longer making it possible to be secured in a small ponytail. If Des saw him sporting a ponytail, Percy could imagine the jokes poking fun at him. Getting back unnoticed was fairly easy, considering most of the world didn't know of his origins. A single part of him felt bad for dropping everything to pursue a couple months of travel but the things he encountered outweighed his guilt. Percy hadn't even bothered to turn on any lights after climbing the couple flights up to the small studio. There were only a select few things he missed while abroad. A dark room was important to any photographer who spent time acknowledging their photos, the dark room was on top of the list to be missed. Second spot belonged to a certain blonde beauty who never strayed from Percy's mind. It was rare to find a girl (in New York City at least) who was perfectly content with ordering pizza, having a few beers and playing a couple rounds of fifa. Fifa could only be played if Mario Kart was rotated somewhere in their segment of games. They would finish a six-pack together, leaving her in the cutest tipsy phase he had ever seen. Madelyn's skin would be flushed, her lips fuller and begging to play another round on rainbow road. Just watching her eyes light up when she took the lead or the small trash she aimed towards him, had Percy chuckling the entire night. Sometimes Percy couldn't help but let her win. She would lapse into a victory dance, swinging her hips in front of Percy just teasing him. Her seduction skills worked every time. Her fingers would reach for his wrist, trying her best to pull him up from the couch. The message was clear. With her hips moving slowly to an non existing rhythm, his own hands would graze her sides allowing their hips to touch. Dancing turned into brief neck kisses which escalated to the removal of their clothes. Her cold feet carefully making their way up his leg generally woke him up. All the covers would be curled under her freckled shoulders, but still she would be sound asleep. Although he refused to open his eyes when she woke him up with chest kisses, he remembered whispering that she liked him more for his bed than anything. It was only fair that she be furious with him. On the day of his flight, he left her bed without word, just a kiss to her forehead. The jet lag funk he was in a few short weeks ago was starting to fade. There were still days that he stayed up until unreasonable hours or slept the entirety of the day away. Work kept him busy and also kept his studio a mess. His hair was now long enough to put in a small bun, which he learned to perfect from his older sister who was slightly embarrassed by the sight of her shaggy brother. It wouldn't stop him from keeping the locks however. Multiple requests had been made to him for a slight trim but it was a new phase. On his back was the same old black shirt he was always spotted in. The sparrows on his chest were visible from the neckline, their wings just barely peaking out. A new cross necklace clung onto his neck, reminding him of the peaceful time he spent in Brazil. He mixed his black pants with a non-matching brown boots that needed some more patching up. Maybe he would ring his mum to get her to ship the ones he left back in Primrose. The disaster that he now called a room was almost cleaned up. He fumbled with a few more shirts, smelling them before giving them a spot in the pathetic hamper of his. Sheets were wrapped around each other since Percy never bothered to make it. Keys were shoved into the impossibly tight pants. He leaned a shoulder against the brick building of his complex. His sunglasses were now placed over his eyes and focused on the people walking by. It only took a few clicks of a particular heel for Percy to turn his direction the other way. The irresistible blonde whom called herself Madelyn looked exquisite. Blonde locks caught the wind sometimes blowing into her face. The clicks started to slow down as she neared his figure against the wall. His eyes started at her toes and made their way up to those blue eyes. They stood a distance apart, Percy not wanting to be the one to make the first sign of physical contact. One of feet made contact with a small rivet in the pavement. "Thought maybe I could take you out for lunch since I don't have much to offer in the studio, that alright?" The raspy voice sounded foreign even to himself. tagged: madelyn holt notes:gross i suck, do you like the ponytail i do listening: blink 182

[madelyn holt]

It was relief that she first felt, when his name finally lit up her phone screen. Not direct fury, not emphatic rage, but relief. That he was somewhere reachable, that he hadn't up and left her life for good without a whisper of a goodbye. Madelyn even stared at it in disbelief for a while, unable to answer before her fingers typed a swift reply she barely remembered. It had been weeks...more than a month, if she properly calculated. No word, no ideas, not even a damn facebook update to give her a clue. She felt like she was stalking, almost, waiting for an update that never came. Eventually, after the days turned to those weeks, she had to choose to move on. Maybe he's off somewhere with Annie, she thinks bitterly one day, deep in the trenches of late night hysteria. She's combining architectural drawings with slugs of whiskey, trying to get rid of her sour mood. It works, for a little while, until she realizes that she's not so caught up in this anymore. Why worry about someone that decided not to worry about her? Call it selfish, or inconsiderate, but Madelyn followed it, unable to pronounce herself quite 'single', but in essence they'd never even had a title in the first place. She could be holding on to something that wasn't even exclusive, laughing at herself when she stares in the mirror. Why did it even matter? Because somewhere, somehow, he did. And that is why she feels like she can breathe again when she speaks with him. Like she'd been holding her breath for months, curious as to where he was, what had happened, why he had done this and left without a word. It was odd but she couldn't put it out of character, never entirely sure where Percy's head was because this was new and they were still figuring things out. Testing the waters, understanding the current physical attraction but working on the other mechanics. It's why Madelyn presses on for more about him, eager to learn who and what made him the way he was. Maybe it would help...or maybe she just wanted to know. Either way they entertain meeting family members and it's different. A nonchalant way of it all, something that makes her smile until she realizes it. Hides it immediately even though he isn't there, trapped behind bold words on highlighted screens. But she can't hide her anger when she agrees to see him in person. Deciding that she had the right to be mad at him still, heels clipping harshly against the familiar cement as she paced to his block. There was nothing normal about disappearing for a couple months, if she thought hard about it. Nothing at all. Madelyn whips harshly around a corner and can recognize him within an instant, laughing to herself at the state of his hair, a whispered "Good lord," under her breath before he turns as she approaches. He looks different. Tired, maybe, if she tries to place it, probably still adjusting to the jet lag his trip put him through. But his eyes seek hers and she looks to him, a quick moment, eventually shying away with a sigh. "That's fine," Madelyn manages, quiet as she steps closer. She's not even sure what to say, unable to explain what she feels and doubting that he had an exact answer to why he went. So she chooses to ignore it, stepping to a side with a look to the crowded streets. "Can we walk, or do I need to hail a cab?" tagged: percy de vane notes:rough. this is rough. anything but the headbands listening: hozier

[percy de vane]

Those who knew Percy had grown accustomed to his many disappearances. With his photography business, Percy is constantly traveling to foreign countries and immersing himself in their beautiful cultures. Since the start up of his own business, he’s had the luxury of spending weeks upon weeks getting lost in the exotic cities. Although their trip was intended for a week weeks, it seems they couldn’t keep proper track of time. Phones were constantly out of service and the hair on Percy’s face was longer than it had been in years. When it starts treading past his chin and they reach the tip of Mexico, he knows it’s time to come home. Hundreds of photos in his hands, he boards the flight knowing that once he comes back to New York City it won’t be easy. The people he’s left behind won’t be pleased. The blonde beauty especially. Part of his mind senses that she’s already moved on. Heads turn everywhere they go, men stopping in the street to get a lasting look of the beauty in front of them. He doubts that any man hasn’t comforted her. A man he’s very envious in this moment in time. A reunion of some sort would have to come sooner or later. Percy hopes for sooner. Los Angeles is hours away from him and while he lies in his empty bed he longs for her touch. Her fingertips scratching the slightly ticklish spots she’s discovered. The way her hair falls onto his shoulders as she kisses along those particular muscles. Percy isn’t even sure what he’s expecting out of seeing her again. The thought of her with another guy makes him reek of jealousy, pouring out of him endlessly. Her happiness redeems the jealous traits though; he knows that she deserves the sense of total happiness. Having known for a short span of time, he can’t help but feel a sweet spot for Madelyn. With her it came easy, even if it went without a title Percy knows they had an unspoken agreement. She was his; he was hers sort of a silent acknowledgement. The left of his bed belongs to her for however long she wishes to keep it occupied. The few vintage canvases he’s purchased her remain in his apartment on the left side as well as the Brazilian chocolates, the villagers had him sample. The click of her heels declares her mood. He counts the steps it takes to get to her although he pretends not to see her. Out of his peripheral, Percy watches her acknowledge his presence against the brick wall of his studio’s complex. She’s stopped for a few moments. His pulse speeds up like she’s changed her mind on this encounter. Her heels suddenly start to click in his direction again. The sweat on his palms slowly fades away. A certain sweet aroma fills him, of the perfume he prefers. He groans internally thinking of the sprits on her neck and naked wrists. Percy wishes to touch her but holds back. Her anger can still be seen, the reason she’s so standoff with him. He can feel the way her eyes scan his appearance. They linger over his hair, he’s sure she’s biting her tongue over its stringy disaster. She wasn’t the only one, his mum was nearly begging him to even get a trim. But the stubborn side of him was letting the flow stay a tad bit longer. Their eyes meet for a second. Percy’s begs hers to stay lingering on his for a little longer. The blue irises of hers pull away, shyly looking towards the ground. It’s a quiet response but one he recognize however. “Let’s walk. You can pick a place you like on the way, yeah?” His shoulders are now off the brick wall he was using to support himself. The wind blows in a treacherous direction, lifting the overgrown locks into his face. One of his hands weaves its way removing the strands from his eyes. “Bloody wind,” his eyes roll as he curses the foul wind. He grunts as they begin walking, her leading the way just slightly ahead of Percy. “How’s your day been?” He musters up the courage to make light conversation with her. tagged: madelyn holt notes:oh my god i shouldn't be able to write my b listening: the 1975 whats new

[madelyn holt]

This was something they were going to have to get used to. Even in these early stages she knew her life came with a few strings attached, some he recognized from his past with Annie. Reality television was something so hideously overplayed that Madelyn could barely stand to watch television, but it was her mother's way of contentment right now. Playing a beaming mother who attending dinner and themed parties only to dissolve into bickering arguments, tentative, clipped words to Ezra's mom. It was all ridiculous if one could look at it from far away, but it was a money maker and the show paid and it made Madelyn's mother happy. And sometimes, she'd be damned if anything got in the way of that. So she played along. Handled her part dutifully, became wrapped up in a type of friendship that, for the cameras, pushed the boundaries much more. She didn't mind it because she knew where her boundaries where, when her personal life became too intertwined into the persona that was portrayed every week during the season. But it took reality a second beat to process it all, Percy one she was especially going to worry about. With his past, with what had happened...she had fended it off as long as she could, until the contracts were inked and she knew it was all going to return. "Sounds fine to me, there's a good cafe a couple block down," she returns lightly, surging ahead in a flurry of emotions. The residual anger she felt toward his disappearance, scolding herself for her lack of understanding about it. It was something that he did, she learned. Seeking inspiration, drifting off without word. The act was going to bother her, but she wanted to do her best to understand so he'd try to seek something with it too. Not scrutinize her actions every time her face flickered on the television screen. Truthfully, Madelyn hoped he would never turn it on at all. The wind whips around her frame, focused back on reality once she pushes strands of hair out of her face. Breaking into the hint of a laugh when he does the same. "Maybe you should cut your hair then," she returns, turning slightly to study it. It could be worse, really, if she was being honest. They walk on in silence for a little while, both trying to find the right words to say. Easing into a conversation like this, frustrations on both sides, shoving her sunglasses back up her nose to deflect attention. "It's been fine. My sisters are both back in town so that's been nice, and no cameras around just yet." Her rare moments of silence had been sacred in the house the past few days, the crew taking a break before filming restarted for some holidays. An inevitable shove back into that world, sighing as she stalled on the sidewalk, waiting for him. Eyes meeting his when she concedes. "How's yours been?" It's quiet, it's cordial, and it's probably not what he wants to talk about but she presses on regardless, trying to avoid an inevitable that she knows has to happen or it won't work out at all. tagged: percy de vane notes:hopefully this did a decent job at bridging the time gap because I suck and took a month. listening: james bay