Lidao, Mealea R.

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full name mealea rei lidao date of birth 03.05.88 home town shanghai, china current city new york, new york education n/a occupation escort ________________________________________ when you are young you do not dream of the bad things in life. no. those things are not in existence ; they can't hurt you. they are not allowed in your fairy tale dream. so, you dream of other things. wealth. love. the world on a silver platter. you want to be a princess, you want to be an actress - anything to give you some kind of symbolic worth. no more do you want to be a crumb snatcher in the hurried streets of the slum of shanghai. you just don't want to have that as an end result. you want to meet a handsome prince who tells you how pretty you are and buys you everything that your eyes glance upon. love. oh, god, do you want love and not just any love. you want a love that knocks you off your feet like a smack to the head with a baseball bat. that dangerous kind of love that can either be a portal to a new you or a black hole that rips you apart. it's the uncertainty that drives us to run for that. the primal need for adventure in even the smallest of things. sometimes, however, those dreams are simply what they are named - dreams. sometimes, while you are off at your home school (a simple house three blocks down where a friend of your mother teaches you) working your hardest for grades that will make your mother smile again, all the items in your home are being packed up and the only person in your world is setting up to leave. only you're not invited. you're not wanted. she's never wanted you. well, maybe the first few months, but when your father doesn't come back she loses interest. she can't fathom that she was simply a fling that got the worst part of the deal. no, she blames you secretly and for that you will be left on these hard streets to fend for yourself. when you get home there's no one there, not even an inkling of a memory that there was a family here. it's not the neighbors business so they turn a blind eye. it's a bad neighborhood, they don't need the drama of it all. you're like a scavenging rat trying to find food once that which has been left runs out. to shower when the power finally goes out and to find clothes when yours become too small. sometimes, sometimes you get help from those that wish for you to survive ; sometimes you get kicked back down like a dog. then, one day, you're lured away by the pretense that your mother has come back. she has, but not in the sense that you think of. she is broke. another life gone wrong and you are her bargaining chip. a means to an end. no matter how hopeful you are that your family is being pieced back together, that all comes crashing down when she leaves you again in the hands of total strangers. money in her hand and a sick grin on her lips. for a moment, those dark eyes flash with pity, but then it is gone. not love, but pity, as if you are an abandoned stray that she is sending to the pound. everyone knows that unlucky strays die at the pound and luck has not been on your side from the day you were born. this new life you're in, you're expecting a new family, but two days you are locked in a room where you are fed and scrubbed clean to the raw red of your skin. no one talks to you. no one answers your questions. they just tell you to eat and, sometimes, to shut up. then one day the door opens up and you're thrown fresh clothes, someone fixes your hair, and you are shoved out of this room with a force not required. 'stand still and look pretty' they tell you and, for lack of another option, you do. the dirty eyes of a stranger settle on you and he points with a sniveling grin. 'that one' and suddenly money is exchanged, you're given to him, like a toy. you've been introduced in to shanghai's sex ring and, honey, there's not getting out. five years of being used like a rag doll and you are but a shell of your former self. you don't know who you are anymore, but someone that fulfills the needs of others. you learned the hard way that neglecting resulted in beatings that would make gladiators wince. they do not care here. they will beat you in places no one can see, put you on sale until they heal, and it starts all over again. scolded, as if you are in the wrong, until you no longer speak your mind. your tounge does not work for words. you move around several times, switching owners, clients, the work. each worse than the other. each more interested in breaking your body inside and out than the last and, deep within you, that voice screams for you to just end it. you do it or they will. you have suffered so long now. you have suffered for twenty years and still, you suffer more. they won't let you go. not now, not ever. it is in the way they speak of you. the possessiveness they hold over you. 'you get better with age' they tell you. 'it must be the half-blood' they say with sneers. it's a joke to them. you are a dirty dog, but you are a valuable dirty dog. if that can even be. sometime when you have reached twenty-three years of age, a stranger walks in and his voice is crisp and his accent is well, but he is not from here. you can tell in his appearance, his cleanliness, everything about him. you wonder if he is here for the other business they hold until he points towards where you are and starts speaking in a hushed voice. fear strikes you, your hands are shaking with everything in you, and you wonder - is this another vicious person coming to claim me? a long conversation, heated even, is exchanged before your owner throws his hands up in a huff and stomps to the back. you hate this man that has come in here. why? because he has come in here. there are no good men that come in places like these. none at all. you know what's going to happen next. you are going to be shoved to the back, cleaned up, and sent off with him either by tomorrow or immediately if he demands it. by his face, you know he has demanded just that. and, so, a new life begins but it's no easier. you are taken to britain and somehow this stranger gets you papers, gets you information that documents that you are legal, as if it is nothing. how he knows your name is surprising since, having been so long, you've forgotten it as well. not to mention you have never, really, existed in this world. no birth certificate, no nothing. a simple unwanted child - a ghost. 'welcome to the uk, mealea. we're going to become the next bonnie and clyde.' he announces as the plane lands and, something in his face, makes you want to crawl deeper in to the corner of your seat. he's not all there and you know it. now it is champagne glasses, expensive clothes, and lies. you are no longer a sex slave, but you are no better on the moral scale. you steal from people, with him, and you live with him but you two are not together. you give pretense that you are and, sometimes, you don't live together to keep people from noticing. he is wealthy and somehow you know he has gotten that wealth at the expense of ruining others, but the people in this new place - in new york - like him. he has taken two years of his time to prep you and reinvent you in to an even more tortured soul than you were before. you are free and, yet, you are not and somehow you are okay because he is the first person in your life that has not abandoned you. that has not asked you to have sex with someone else for nothing other than neglecting a beating. you did not get paid before. you were not a prostitute. you were a slave. you do not mind the false pretenses as long as you get to dress up in these clothes and laugh a little. yet, even now you are still lost. then, he is gone. taken by the police and you are spared. yet, what the hell does that even mean when you don't know up from down? so, you turn to what you know. sex. being a pretty face, being used, showcasing her body - lost in a forsaken city in a country that is not your own. pretending that you're just fine. who is mealea lidao and what are you doing here? name: mealea rei lidao alias: leilan lang, mao lee, lucy tran nicknames: lei, rabbit, lanie age: twenty-six birthdate: unknown (falsely recorded as may third) birthplace: shanghai, china (recorded as belfast on false documents) parents: chandrea khun and lachlan o'doyle gender: female eyes: green/hazel hair: dark brown height: five foot four and a half weight: one hundred nine pounds race: chinese-cambodian (khmer-chen) and irish scars: cut above left eyebrow and minor scarring in various places (healed over) tattoos: shanghai whorehouse branding tattoo inner left wrist and another on the back of her neck. faded slightly (will either cover up with wrist jewlery or make up) languages: chinese, cambodian, vietnamese, french, english, russian. accent: light scottish brogue/english residence: new york, new york previous residence: leeds, united kingdom occupation: escort pets: mao, short coat xiasi quan personality primary motivators recognition, tranquility, and service core traits: curious, ashamed, anxious, partially apathetic, excited emotional stability: between labile and even tempered general world outlook: cynical, distrusting, and resigned integrity: responsible, meticulous impulsiveness: thoughtful, sometimes flighty boldness: timid, paranoid, vigilant flexibility: tolerant, adaptable, tense. affinity: empathic, sometimes supporting, indifferent. comportment: modest, humorous, defensive. interacity: listener, shy, loner, talkative when angry disclosure: mysterious, closed, evasive, cryptic conformity: formal, exotic, sometimes rebellious secondary traits orientation: undecided libido: anemic sexual demeanor: modest, impersonal religion & spirituality: abhors it with a passion. favorite foods: swiss mushroom burgers, parmesean chicken, stir-fry, cheesecake, sugar cookies, churro, salmon. habits and hobbies: humming, mumbling, foot tapping, lip biting, constant eating, pacing, counting, teeth sucking, sleeping in odd places (when she sleeps), tree climbing, sometimes needless apologizing, eye rolling. hobbies and enjoyments: acrobatics, gaming, cooking, cards (can win against almost anyone), drinking (sometimes it kills her overactive mind), reading, research, writing, drawing, cigarette smoking (when she's stressed or annoyed), dancing ( only if she's alone), insomnia, grooming others (she has an issues with lint or something on someone and she unconciously gets it but she is hesitant to touch otherwise),eating (she eats like a horse). favorite topics of conversation: humor, hobbies and pasttimes, current events, work. mental or emotional issues: dependent personality disorder (not hardcore), sometimes anxiety, paranoia, obsessive-compulsive disorder (she cleans when she's anxious and she counts). dislikes or upsetting triggers: dark, closed spaces, loud noises like things breaking or heavy onslaughts of yelling, other people with guns, escorts or strippers, pimps, asian jokes, apricots, having to use hand-to-hand combat, clubs. police record: has been to jail in las vegas once for aggravated assault. they let her go after finding out the guy she assaulted had started it when he shoved a fifty down her shirt. ________________________________________ your name cai play-by shanina member group resident