VAN BUREN, claire c.

[Deleted]

......................................... CHELSEA VAN BUREN . 23 . MED STUDENT . NEW YORK ......................................... was so cliche in my high school days. i was the spoilt rich girl dating the brooding bad boy. we had been together for as long as i cared to remember and while part of me was planning a future for us with picket fences and 2.5 kids and a minivan, another part of me was dreaming of medical school. typical small town girl conundrum. freddie was everything and soon everything became too much. maybe i put some distance between us because i knew a day would come when i would leave him behind for college, or maybe i just thought the grass was greener on the other side, but when freddie broke up with me in senior year it was so hard not to fall straight into rhys's arms. i'm not proud of it, but i've come to terms with the fact that i am not a girl that can survive without a boyfriend. i'm a creature in need of constant companionship. so then, senior year, instead of freddie and claire it was freddie and savannah and claire and rhys. part of me knew that he still loved me, that he thought letting me go would make me happy, and it did. but, while part of me hated her for taking my place i didn't want him back. i wanted something new, something different, something i hadn't known my whole life. there was a whole new set of first's i got to experience, a whole new person to understand. i'll admit now that i never understood him. rhys, that is. he and freddie used to fight, cutting words and fists and savage rumours. it was hard and much as it was exhilarating. any girl that says she doesn't love the thrill of two men fighting over her is a liar. straight up. while i was packing for college, rhys was planning to take over the corporate world and freddie asked that bimbo to marry him. i pitied them in that moment, i really did. i had the world at my feet, an acceptance letter from yale in my hand and they were sentencing themselves to a life of mediocrity. as much as i loved him i was thankful that he had let me go, because i was never going to be that girl for him. i started yale in the fall, pre med, and loved every second of it. i burnt the wedding invitation that freddie sent me. rhys and i drifted apart as my school work and school life took over me and he had his own dealings to focus on. he was diligent when i came to studying, but he was charming and charismatic, he had a silver tongue and a quick wit. he settled in new york and soon was one of the youngest and most promising up and comers in a very large hedge fund company. after a year of dating a few guys here and there we met up again by chance and i couldn't help but fall for his charm all over again. after a year, he asked me to marry him and we had a small but lavish wedding in the city with just our families and a few close friends. we had apartments in new york and new haven, he bought me a BMW for my birthday and my wedding rings were worth such a small fortune that made me terrified to wear them. life was perfect and i was overwhelmed that everything could have fallen into place so easily. when it started it was so insidious i didn't even notice. he drank more, with clients, with colleagues, or sometimes without anyone. he dictated what i wore, but with such charm that it seemed like a compliment. he took control of my finances to 'manage them better' but i ended up with merely an allowance. he made up rumours about friends that he didn't want me to see anymore to make me think they weren't my friends. he isolated me and controlled me and i didn't even realise it was happening. nobody did, because nobody heard from me for about a year. my only escape was school, and when i started to recognise the symptoms i confronted him. i ended up with a black eye and a split lip. a practical part of me was ready to throw my things in a bag and toss those rings in his face, but a proud part of me couldn't bear to let anyone else know that i was stupid enough to be sucked into such a situation. so i stayed. i stood up to him on occasion, but it never ended well. i learnt to bite my tongue and just agree, but when his drinking increased and his temper got shorter, merely a look would send him off. one night after a very important and prestigious work function, he decided that i was flirting with a man twice my age that had merely commented on my dress, the accusations escalated to a whole new level and so did his anger. i ended up in hospital. i flew home as soon as i was discharged from the hospital. my father already had a divorce lawyer on my case and a restraining order in place. i hid out at the family ranch for a few weeks nursing my injuries as well as my bruised ego. i ran into freddie, both of us mourning and wounded, and we slept together after his father's funeral. it was startling that he still looked me the same way, still had that same softness in his voice when he said my name. i was drawn to it like a moth to a flame. a man that had loved me all this time, after everything i had done to him. i felt sorry for him, it wasn't the life he had asked for, but it was the life he had settled for. he told me about his father's diner and i held a small flicker of hope for him, i dreamed for him to aspire to more, i prayed that one day he would out grow his childish decisions of marrying her. i should have been off to medical school that fall, but i wasn't ready. i couldn't just expect myself to focus, i couldn't expect the best from myself in the state i was in, so i made bought a ticket to new york instead. i got a job as a phlebotomist and found an excuse to 'run into' freddie. any man that passes him on the street knows he's not happy. anyone that has half a brain knows he still loves me. i just have to wait for him to figure it out too. ......................................... TIANA . E HOSK . RESIDENT .........................................