vanderbilt, mathilde g.

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full name mathilde georgia vanderbilt date of birth 03.03.1994 home town greenwich, connecticut current city new york city, new york education political science at columbia occupation unemployed ________________________________________   "If I'm the prodigal daughter, she's most certainly the epitome of perfect. Tall, gorgeous, blonde, talented, driven... My sister has had her entire life planned out for her since she was born and unlike me, she's lived up to every expectation that had ever been set. When they demanded she be a ballerina, she did it. When they demanded she engaged in sports, become popular, go to the most prestigious schools - she did it all.    It's amazing how quickly they forgot catching her in a pool of her own blood. Self-inflicted, might I add. The stress of being a Vanderbilt got to her head and she decided to end it all right then and there. Sounds cruel of me, doesn't it? It's not. Don't mistake my contempt for her for not caring if she lives or dies. I love my sister, but after trying to kill herself, the ordeal was swept under the rug and everything went back to normal.   And she let it. She went to her required therapy for awhile and as soon as it was over, we all pretended it never happened. As soon as she graduated, she went on to the school our parents wanted her to go to, and is now working in the mayors office doing something they all fawn over. She hasn't had anymore incidents since then, but unlike everyone else, I haven't forgotten watching them take her to the hospital."   "Theodore is the worst thing that ever happened to me. Though sometimes I think he might have been the best. For a time, anyway. When we first started dating, I had stars in my eyes, but I never let him see that. No one lets Teddy see the affect he has on them. That's when you really get in trouble. You have sex with him a few times, he doesn't call, you get sad, you wait by the phone, you text him in the middle of the night to see if he responds. If he does, he's alone; if he doesn't, he's with another girl. And he knows that he has you and you never hear from him again. If you're lucky, anyway.   No, I've known him too long to know the games he played. We had sex for the first time just after graduating high school. I was eighteen, drunk... he was just there. I don't know why I caved and did the one thing I knew I shouldn't. But the next morning, I vowed that it wouldn't mean anything. I rolled out of his bed, got dressed and left without saying a word. It was easier that way and we all knew that was exactly what he wanted.    The summer turned my life upside down. We fought, we made up, we kept things casual. I hated him, I loathed him, I wanted to strangle him most days, but by the end of summer he had me wrapped around his little finger without my blinking an eye to stop any of it. He destroyed every single wall I built and sometimes I wonder if it was an intentional ploy or if somewhere beneath all of that attitude, he may have actually cared.   We started dating, though the labels didn't exactly change our dynamic. We still fought constantly - always behind closed doors. We would make plans and he would be too drunk or high or busy to show up. I tried to play the same games, but my heart was invested now so our usual games were harder for me to keep up with. He made moves and I made feeble countermoves. Every time I thought I had him, I somehow ended up at the bottom of a bottom of gin with an empty jar of olives sitting on my nightstand.    He made me weak, pathetic even. I hated who I had become, but I couldn't stop because when things were good, when he brought me a little blue box or introduced me as his girlfriend, I was smitten. Even now it's hard to look back on what we had and figure out what was an act and what was real - even when it came to my own feelings. We played so many games that I like to think I wasn't as in love with him as I thought. Maybe I just was in love with the idea of being in love with him.    I realized my error when he sold me. I wish I could say I was being dramatic, but at the end of the day, that's exactly what happened. He wanted to settle a business deal and I learned the hard way that the only reason I got the 'girlfriend' title was because he liked what was between my legs. I should be flattered, but it just infuriates me. This man walked into his office, in his perfectly taylored Armani, smelling like my father and Teddy simply smiled and shook his hand.    I enjoyed every minute of the deal. He was good, tender, maybe with a few minor kinks, but it was nothing I was unfamiliar with. I walked into this older mans office wearing thigh high stockings and my best little black dress, he made me a dry martini and within twenty minutes it was over. But I enjoyed every minute of it just to spite Teddy. Even if he didn't care, it seemed like a perfect 'fuck you' to end our relationship on.    The next morning, I was in Dubai with my phone no where in sight. I knew if he called, I would answer and that would be the end of things. I also knew if he didn't call, I would be crushed. It was the best decision I ever made. One hundred percent cut off and I detoxed off him faster than you can say olive." ________________________________________ your name rae play-by solveiii member group student