Deleted
|
Post by Deleted on Feb 24, 2015 15:23:57 GMT
full name isla tabitha janzan date of birth 23.08.91 [23] home town amsterdam, netherlands current city brooklyn, nyc, ny. education BA [NYU] occupation event planner for brooklyn breweries
________________________________________
________________________________________
"She'd been sick all day and I didn't think anything of it.. you know, children fake sick all the time. And she was having a rough time at this new school - kids can be so cruel. Around noon.. or maybe it was later? Her fever shot up! 102 degrees! I tried to call you, I didn't know what to do. Martha said to take her to the hospital.. so that's what I did. I should have gotten an ambulance but Isla barely cried, I had no idea! When the doctor lifted her shirt her tummy was red and blue.. god, David, I feel so stupid. An hour later, even a minute, she could have been dead. She's in surgery right now.. I just feel horrible." - Susannah Jarzan
isla guess what i got in the mail amelia SPILL!! isla ACCEPTED! MURICA! amelia .. I don't know whether these are happy tears or sad tears? isla :''''''''') I'll reserve the right side of my bed for you
Reflecting on my relationship with Riley McKinnon now, it seems.. I don't know, far more likely than it did then. The end result, though traumatic, was overshadowed by all the other chaos. When the miscarriage happened, it was far easier to laugh than it was to cry. I could have curled up in a ball and cried about it, but there wasn't anything to mourn.. because by then the relationship had burnt out. He'd cheated and I knew it, it was all over his face when I confronted him. I was mad, a sarcastic brat for weeks, a sarcastic brat giving birth to a dead baby. When the rape accusations surfaced I stayed with him purely for his image, held his hand through all the bullshit.. vocally catty when it came to his defence. It would have been the opportune time to kick him to the curb, be that "serves you right" bitch. Though I'm sure it didn't help much and we didn't last, being the "good wife" was probably the right thing to do.
I hear good things about Riley now.. through the whatever vine. I don't think he went to school, but who needs to when you have a sugar momma.
I've begun to understand myself better... in the moments I don't answer my ex's texts and calls, the moments where I "lose" the cute guy's number and at seven in the morning on a Wednesday, where I am dashing out the door to catch the garbage man because I procrastinated taking out the trash the night before.. With all my years, I think twenty-three is the magic number. I kissed a boy the other night. Not a romantic kiss, not intimate in any sense.. just fun. In between kisses he mumbled something, I laughed and asked him to speak up. He told me of the time he first saw me. Told me what it was I was drinking and how my hair was up in a high ponytail and bounced when I laughed. It was just a kiss, and it felt good to own something with little expectation. I've started to laugh at myself more. Not in the way where I laugh at me before anyone else can, not in the bracket of insecurity I've contained myself in for most of my life. The more I edge into my mid-twenties I am more humorous and light-hearted, as people we can become so uptight. I spent most of my day in my aunt's neighbourhood. Shovelling the snow and ice off her driveway and laying down salt. My shoulders ache now, but I felt so strong then.. so full of it I decided to shovel her neighbours' driveways. I was a sweaty mess, so tired I didn't feel like running a bath. I am being to understand the type of woman I am. My smile, my strength, and my good heart.
________________________________________
diligence, hard workers, new make-up, waking up early enough to catch infomercials, bundling up, the thaw of winter, feather pillows, fireplaces, children under the age of six, christmas time, yoga, cracking of joints, the smell of coffee, japanese food, simplistic design, IPA beers, honeybees, clay pottery, walt whitman, cheesy romanctic movies, new underwear, san serif typefaces, different cultures, scruff on men, bathes, football games, bars, lemon water. fakes, the smell of paint, the smell of oil, buttered popcorn, fish, being so cold your throat hurts, bright colours, musicals, ignorance, autotune, feeling helpless, depending, 3D movies, paris, monotone people, chipped nailpolish, people who don't know when to quit, cold toes, the sound of knuckles cracking.
________________________________________
"Five more minutes.. I'm going to sleep for five more minutes. Just kidding, look at all these Snapchat stories." | "This almond milk is past its expiry date... but that's more of a guideline, right? Nuts don't expire." | "Oh look, my mum is calling. I'm going to pretend I'm still sleeping." | "New York has the worst transit system, my fucking nose is going to fall off." | "9AM and no one else is here, shocking." | "God, Dave is so indecisive. You're going to pick TJ's Ribs anyway, JUST MAKE A DECISION." | "It's probably not healthy to drink beer before noon. This is something only alcoholics and townies do." | "This woman is so unfortunate, I was to adopt her." | "I just burped outloud. I should be more embarrassed than I actually am." | "God this is the best job." | "Mia is going to be so offended I'm going for drinks with the guys.. I'm telling her I'm sick." | "How does she know I'm lying?" | "Chris forgot his wallet. That's convenient." | "Fuck, I'm starving. I'm so hungry.. hey, Nick, you should get fries." | "I can't feel my toes, where's the cabbie?" | "This bed feels like a cloud.. like I'm cuddling persian kittens."
________________________________________
your name ciara play-by princess shanina member group resident
|
|
|