. separation of things

[teddi st. james]

Teddi St. James raked a hand through her hair as she hitched a tote bag over her shoulder. Six months ago, you'd have never caught the girl with anything that remotely resembled canvas, but the purging of her closet and selling her items on consignment sites had left her needing a bag that was more for function. Self consciously, she looked around as she tucked the bag into her arm and swiped her metro card through the turnstile to go to Khan's apartment one stop away. A coffee sat steaming in her hand, but it was so far untouched as she boarded and stood just shy of the subway doors. The deep set of the frown on her face said that she was unhappily lost in thought. August, of course, was not far from her mind, but she'd sworn off telling anyone that fact, or mentioning him at all in conversation. For once, she was taking advice from Nick: pretending things were normal until that was the case. The doors pinged open, and she took the stairs to the street. Her mission was a simple one, drop off the few pieces of child paraphernalia she'd seen in the dollar bin at the thrift store near her apartment. Teddi wasn't a fan of children, but she was supportive. And, as it were, looking for something to busy herself with. Naila seemed to serve that purpose. In her bag were a few children's books; she'd done her best to pick the ones with children that looked most like the toddler. The young woman pulled out her phone, her brow still furrowed and typed out a text to Nick: ALMOST THERE XX. Almost instantly, the young man responded. He was running late. As she approached his apartment building, the young woman pulled a keyring out of her bag, from it dangling a fuzzy black purse puff. It was one of those frivolous things that remained from her old life, something she thought about selling and then saw no point in. It seemed ruffled, and disheveled, just as she felt. When she was inside the building, she bent to read the names on a pile of packages that sat just inside the door and picked up the one with Nick's name on it. They'd all had copy of each other's keys, and had for quite sometime. Teddi thought, fleetingly and stupidly, that perhaps August would want to return the one he had to hers. Climbing the stairs of the walk up, Teddi balanced the package on her hip as she unlocked the door, careful not to spill her coffee. The door swung open and she called out tentatively, unwilling to admit that she was nervous around Kafka alone. "Kafka?" A jingling met her ears, and in the door way, jumping at her legs, was a dog she was unfamiliar with. She danced around it, the coffee threatening to spill, and her hair falling in her eyes. As she looked up, she caught the eye of the boy standing just beyond. Teddi cleared her throat, her cheeks burning red as she set her face stoney, though her discomfort and uncertainty ringing true in her voice. "Uh, hey, August. Sorry. Didn't know you'd be here." ......................... tagged: august de witte notes: i'm a blob. music: dangerous woman - ariana grande. lmao.

[august de witte]

With a worn backpack full of school supplies slung over his shoulder, August arrived at his apartment with the intent of finding a quiet space to study. Abel's felt uncomfortable, though it was set within a quieter building than his and Nick's. The presence of Minnie (his brother's girlfriend) was irritating, even though she was doing nothing extraordinary, her unfamiliarity didn't jive well with his intent. More than that, the sound of his thoughts prickling his scalp seemed even louder, causing him to be unwilling to put his mind into the matter of studying. Plus there was the addition of the dog, who became antsy in the morning and begged for a change of environment. It gave August an excuse to leave the confines of Manhattan and make his way into Queens, dog and backpack in tow. However, this wasn't as easy as he assumed. New Haven to New York City, proved to be a culture shock for the Aussie. Her furry body shivering and hiding, whimpering behind August as they bumped along inside the train. He eventually felt guilty enough that he bailed a few stops earlier and walked the rest of the way. By the time he actually arrives at the apartment, he's completely unenthusiastic to study. The boy pulls out his Macbook and a textbook, sits at the desk tapping through Reddit for an hour before he's on the floor with his new friend. As he's lying there, he feels the pull of exhaustion. His hand rhythmically strokes of the soft head of Bulleit, and her chin eventually falls to his chest, where she falls asleep. He soon follows suit, his mind folding into an uneventful blackness. When he wakes up he hasn't a clue how long he's been out. The back of his neck is sore, so it must be a while. He groans, relating back to the what year is it?? meme. His eyes are foggy, and as he rubs them he hears the dog bark softly, followed by the jingle of keys. He shoots up, “oh fuck.” He spots a mess of white fluff on the floor, the insides of something, “oh.. fuck”. As the door swings open, he quickly makes his way to the dead stuffed animal.. two of them, Naila's. He grabs a handful of fluff and chucks it behind the couch. “Oh fuck, I thought you were Nick,” he sighs with a slight relief, watching as the dog cautiously sniffs the longs legs of Teddi St. James before she spins off in an excited butt wag and grabs the remnants of a purple unicorn to show her new friend. “Ah, no,” August grabs the stuffed animal and the dog wags her short tail nub more excitedly, taking it as a game of tug-o-war. “Unicorns.. are.. an endangered... species.. no,” he heaves each time the dog shuffles backward, eventually prying the unicorn from her teeth and standing up straight. “Hey.” ......................... notes: so sorry for this horrendous quality music: v random mix

[teddi st. james]

Shallow and fickle, Teddi often had what was coming to her when it came to trouble. A tantrum thrower, a spoiled brat, she often expected for these things to go unchecked, and then grew even more angry when they didn't. She had not yet learned that it was possible to get more flies with honey than vinegar, and though the realization was slowly dawning on the young woman, she was not up for admitting it. She'd known before the conversation was even finished that she had shot herself in the foot - though she still expected August to take her bratty behaviour without any real consequences. The thought of Minnie now produced a fraction of the rage it had earlier in the week, but it was still there regardless. Theodora St. James was irrational when it came to the small things, more forgiving when it came to the big things, and it was her sense of loyalty that she held everyone to. She wanted to feel the same devotion. Her light gaze watched the young man struggle with the dog, bits of fluff flying at her heels as she stood there awkwardly. She let herself take him in: the mess of his hair, the freckles that dotted his cheeks, the sleepy flush of his skin. She wondered if he'd ever looked at her in this way, and the egotistical part of her brain assured her that he did. Every so often, she would dance out of the way, her shoes clicking on the wood of the floor. A fleeting flicker of laughter finds her face and then dies as August's comment about the endangered species, but she looked away instead until he'd stolen the mangled toy from the dog. Still clutching Nick's package, she placed it down beside the pile of shoes the boys kept just left of the door. She kept her coffee clutched tight to her, as if it was the only thing left to shield her from boy and dog now. Teddi took a sip, and replaced her keys in her bag. Her face was stoic, closed off like a shut book, though her movements were more telling to how she really felt. "Nope, just me." The petite girl motioned to the bag she was carrying. "I was just dropping off some stuff for Naila, but I guess they're out." She drew herself up as tall as she could, though still a tad shorter than him in heels. "I'll put this stuff in her room and then be on my way." Side-stepping around him and the dog, she walked through the apartment to what she knew to be first August's room. She pulled the books from her bag, only to hear the soft padding of feet behind her. In the door way stood the shepherd, and Teddi eyed her uneasily, moving to the other side of the bed so she could unpack the gifts for Naila so her back wouldn't be to the animal. She pointed to the door way with one tanned hand. "Go find your ... dad." ......................... notes: bad. music: no.

[august de witte]

Though he always gave his roommate a difficult time for his fleeting relationships, August wasn't that different from Nick. His relationships with women were just as quick. His longest lasted a year at the end of high school and his shortest, more recently with Teddi, had lasted less than three days. The difference between him and Nick, was that Nick fell hard and fast. August was slow and careful, he wrapped his feelings in bubble wrap and proceeded with caution. It's not as though he had past experienced broken heartedness, it was more likely connected that he shied away from everything that involved some sort of commitment. He was terrified of permanence. With Teddi, he took into account his apprehensiveness and decided for her that she was better off without him. As August tugged the trashed unicorn from the dog's mouth, he caught a short glance of a sullen Theodora. He straightened himself up, his grasp firm on the saliva covered stuffie, his grey eyes examined her. She was, as usual, more put together than he was. Even on an off day, her hair poured over her shoulders majestically and her eyes batted like the Manhattan Princess she was. He opens his mouth to say something, but quickly shut up when she insinuates a short visit. “Okay.” As she leaves the living space, he reaches down to pat the dog, “guess this means we're on the hunt for a new unicorn for Nail.” After tossing the unicorn and its cloudy guts into the trash, he looks around to see the absence of the dog. A grin spreads across his face as he hears Teddi shouting sternly at the dog and a few woofs follow the demand. When he makes his way to his room, he sees the dog as she spins around and tries to catch her cropped tail. Every so often the speckled shepherd looks up at Teddi, her pink tongue hangs out and her white teeth give an illusion of a smile. August squats down to the dog's level and she rushes over to throw her front paws up on his shoulders and give his face a good lick. “She's not so bad,” he rubs the dog's ears and looks up at a cornered Teddi, “more kiss and bark than bite. A lot like you, actually.” Bulleit fawns over August a minute longer before pushing herself off and continuing to inspect Teddi. “Just say hi, let her sniff your hand.. worst she'll do his give you a sloppy kiss and then fuck off.” ......................... notes: icky music: v random mix v2

[teddi st. james]

Although she pretended like she didn't like a lot of things, Teddi had her favourites. She was the type to listen to a song on repeat for an entire afternoon, to eat the same thing all week, wear the same pair of jeans every time they were clean. August had been no different; she enjoyed his company and wanted it constantly. This was the reason she was afraid of children and pets, because they required more than just a headlong shove. The only thing that stuck around for longer than her fleeting attention span was her friendship with the three of them - the only example she had of loving something so much that she wouldn't get bored. When it came to August, she was knee deep in that obsessions, one that she knew could have been lasting, when the choice had been made for her that it wouldn't work out. She was bitter, perhaps, but better would have been disappointed and too proud to admit it, so bitter she acted. Teddi wasn't a fan of animals, especially big ones, and would have preferred a purse-sized pup if absolutely necessary. She was uneasy around Kafka, but had learned to trust him, and trusted Nick as an owner to know better. She gave August the same trust, but meeting Bulleit for the first time coupled with her hyper-awareness of her owner made the young woman uneasy. The dog cocks it's shaggy head, and Teddi gives a sigh. Her eyes look at August's legs as he walks into the room, not looking up to meet his gaze but focusing instead on the dog. It hurt to see him, but she swallowed it down, and hitched her bag over her shoulder stiffly when she was done putting Naila's presents on the bed. At his words, when the dog came to her, Teddi bent down and touched the soft hair behind her ears. Any other time, she would have found the joke charming, even happy to be the subject of it. "What's your name, huh?" she said, speaking more to the animal and less to her owner. The dog licked her arm, and she smiled at her, puckering her mouth as if blowing a kiss to Bulleit in return. When the young woman straightens up, she finds August's eyes, staring unflinchingly back at him. "Sloppy kiss and then fucks off? Sounds more like you and less like me." Teddi chews the inside of her lip, unsure if she means it to joke with him or if she means it to be mean. She is angry with him, and yet longs to be close to him, if not the way she ultimately wanted, but then also as friends. Her gaze dropped from his eyes, to his mouth, and then back to Bulleit. The young woman folds her arms over her chest, the deep plunge of her clothing always present. "She's pretty. I like that she's a girl. This apartment has enough testosterone as it is." ......................... notes: always the fuckin doges. music: law & order dun dun.

[august de witte]

Seeing Teddi standing in what was technically his room made him a little sick for nostalgia. Wasn't it only a week ago that he was locking the door on her like a child having a fit? A week ago that he was pressing her against the counter in the kitchen, with his hand reaching up her naked spine? As he leans up against the door frame, his eyes tilt with a sadness. He feels guilty for pulling the plug and guilty for everything he had said, not only in a conversation between them but in the conversation held between him and Nick. The truth was, the annoyance he felt that she had continued to read his and Khan's messages was very short lived. Within fifteen minutes he was over it, because he knew that if he were in her shoes that he would have felt too curious to let the opportunity pass as well. He felt sick about what he had said about Minnie. A woman that was very much his type and where Teddi was not, he knew it was wrong to even gush to his best friend about his adoration for his twin's girlfriend. With Teddi being so insecure about how August didn't give her the same affection as she gave him, August knew that he was in the complete wrong. “Bulleit,” the black haired boy answers for the down, “it's bourbon.. named after too many of them.” He's pleased as he watches her blow a kiss at the long haired dog and continues to smile softly when Bulleit offers her a paw. That smile disappears quickly. Her words cut him and he looks down at the floor, his hurt eyes focusing on the texture of a purple shag rug. August is unsure as to how he should behave in a situation like this. In past relationships, once it was over it was over. They traded belongings and carried on with their own lives. But the end to this one was more difficult to gauge, as Teddi and August had the same life. Thus making August second guess every move he would make for the next six months to a year. “She is,” he nods, moving the length of his arm up the door frame. “They said she was tied up for most of her life... she's a year. You wouldn't be able to tell though, she's full of it,” August looks at the dog and smiles, before drifting his eyes back to the furry rug. The boy sighs deeply, his feet moving forward to close the gap of space between them. “Listen, Dora.. I feel like shit,” he plops himself down on his bed, which is now covered in a Elsa duvet. His hands pass over his face, pushing past his black bags and racking over his head. “I can't stop thinking about it,” he props his elbows on his knees and his face fits between his palms, as he does so the dog jumps on the bed to lay down beside him. “I can't stop thinking about you. I feel like this is what cancer feels like.. a giant tumor humming at my fucking brain.” ......................... notes: awkward august music: temple

[teddi st. james]

For the first time since she'd come into the apartment, Teddi looked around his room which was almost unrecognizable by the touches of Princess Jasmine and Elsa and other signs of a child. The last time she'd been mad at him was because she was standing on the other side of the door, bewildered as to why he'd locked her out after he'd happily reached his hands into her shirt. Now she was on the side of the door she wanted to be on, but not the way she wanted to be with him. It seemed funny to her that they never seemed to be on the right page - only when their clothes were off or when they were joking around. She felt a pang of attraction for him as he reached up the door frame. There was something about him, lanky and sweet, that drove her near crazy, even if his eyes were sad. She had the urge to apologize, to take it all back, to make his gaze change - guilty for intruding on this happy time that was supposed to be Bulleit. It seemed ridiculous to her now, in her sobriety and her distance from that evening. She was hotter than stupid old Minnie. When August tells Teddi the pup's backstory, her brow knits low on the young woman's forehead. She slides the canvas off her shoulder and discards it in a corner that once housed a pile of her clothing. It is a small recession, but a move she makes to show she isn't going anywhere, at least not right then. When she saw that her words cut August further, she decided she hadn't wanted to be mean, that she was trying to joke. So many of her reactions were based on how she was received - constantly testing the waters of what she could get away with. Bulleit offers her a paw and Teddi accepts it, feeling less shy around the animal now that she didn't seem aggressive. Teddi wasn't a monster - she could appreciate why August wanted a dog, especially to save one. "You're both lucky. That you found each other. Seems cruel, to tie a dog up forever." The dark-haired boy came toward her, and her heart jumped with the anticipation of having him nearer. He settled himself on the bed and she watched him curl into himself, angry at herself that she had any hand in this body language. When he starts to speak, all she wants is to put her hands on him to shut him up, to take responsibility for what was hers. Teddi shifts so that she's facing him, within arms reach of his spot on the bed. "Aug?" She said his name tentatively, and then stepped out of her heels. She knelt on the rug in front of him, then reached up, gently replacing his elbows on his knees with her folded arms. She looked up at him with bright eyes, heart hammering at being close to him again. Relieved that she'd gotten that close. "I was being a bitch. A real bitch. I miss you, and I have no idea how to stop thinking about you either? Though I don't think it's pronounced cancer, I think it's pronounced crush." ......................... notes: music: bar rescue.

[august de witte]

Many of his reasons for being uncommitted and shying away from any form of strings were quite literally childish reasons. It didn't take a genius to see that August was quite skillful at prolonging his decent into adulthood. With almost two degrees under his belt and a plan to further continue his education, he kept skimming by. He was afraid of making a wrong decision with his career, he was also afraid of making a wrong decision with Teddi. Their friendship seemed so delicate under the influence of sexual tension and romance. His constant bailing on his own affections were also toxic on their friendship, but he hadn't yet considered the full weight of his flakiness. As he watches as she sets her belongings on the floor, feelings of desperation and fears set in. He's is a contradiction; so desperate to have her and to feel her contact, but at the same time fearful of it and wanting to be alone. He smiles weakly whens he mentions how lucky they are to have found each other. He nods, agreeing with her. Bulleit was the first move in a committed August. Earlier in the month he couldn't have imagined having the dog. They were too needy, required too much attention via walks and love. But now, as the dog trotted around the apartment, he really couldn't see himself without the dog. He pressed his fingers against his temple and dramatically groaned. His stomach brewed nausea and he was sick with nerves as well as guilt. When he lifts his head, Theodora's icy exterior had melted and she was as soft as he'd seen her a few days before. His body surges with electric tension when she leans her upper body into his knees, her light eyes look up with him and a frown quivers between his brows. “You weren't a bitch, you were right,” he admits, his unsure hands softly stroke her long hair. He's uneasy, once again conflicted with desperation and fear. When she mentions crush, it triggers a slight meltdown, “it's just not that easy. You said it yourself, you're a Princess. That's not me. I don't do romantic. I do meltdowns. I'm not equipped to handle you.” He shakes his head and his body gets a bit squirmy, “I've just.. I'm just a mess, alright?” ......................... notes: SORRY DIS IS BAD music: NEU!

[teddi st. james]

Teddi's pickiness came from constantly getting her way. She drank rosé, wore almost exclusively expensive heels, even in the winter time. Six months ago, she wouldn't have gone anywhere without a private car, and would send them to her friends' apartments to retrieve them so she'd never have to step foot in Queens. Many of the pieces of her former life and many of her behaviours were still in tact. She was capable of throwing a fit over a latte that was slightly too cold, and she would get cranky and walk to her destination if the metro took too long to come. She was still a fit thrower, and learning how to relax was not easy. But now, she was at least beginning to feel sorry for it. There was no doubt when it came down to it that Teddi felt guilty now, looking up at August from her place against his lap. If she were to be frank, her feelings for August were the strongest they'd been for ages. The fact that she'd ruined it for herself and hurt him made sadness swell against her throat. The young woman's eyes flutter closed at the touch of his hand on her hair. It is a familiar touch, one that she had missed in the past few days since they had parted ways. The heightened crack of his voice when his anxiety reaches a peak makes her sit up taller and draw back slightly. Her arms still dangle on his knees, but she gives him space. She watches the frustration in his face, and she looks down into the denim of his pants, not ready to accept it yet. It was hard enough to go to him, and it was hard for her not to throw her own fit. But all she can think of was the young man that had taken her on the worst date of her life in the twelfth grade and how she sat before him, desire drawing her towards him. Her former self would have laughed. "I know, I know." Teddi sighed, pressing her forehead to her arm. "It's hard." She bites down on her lip, finding his gaze as she raises her head. "For the record, you handled me better than most guys do. Most let me diva and then never call me again." She tries to make the air lighter, a small smile playing on her face. When August squirms, she puts her hands on his knees, staring at them as if they don't belong to his body and willing them to stop. She lifts one hand and rakes it through her hair. "You're really not that bad. No more a mess than the rest of us. Nobody has any real security, especially not me and Khan. Corinne is the most pulled together of anyone." She sighs but then finds his eyes, mischief in her gaze."Is it bad I want to blow you on an Elsa bedspread?" ......................... notes: lil babus music: JOHN TAFFER

[august de witte]

Her consoling voice makes him less flighty, he presumes this is why she's being so gentle with him. His tense body trembles with nerves and his hands are shaky as they pull through her soft crown of hair. The phase fight or flight come to mind. August is so often more willing to run away from his problems than he is to approach them head on. His friends were all aware of this and had lived with it the past twenty-some-odd years. Between him moving out for abruptly and Teddi giving him an excuse to bail on the short lived relationship, his more recent behaviour suggested that the problem wasn't going to expire any time soon. Even as he sat there vulnerably, with the girl on his lap, August was fishing for excuses to leave. “That doesn't make me feel better,” his hands move to his sides, and the dog shuffles forward to be closer to him. His right hand moves to the dogs head and he massages her ears therapeutically. August finds Bulleit to be a comfort and his heart rate begins to slow as he maintains a steady contact with the dog. “Please, Dora. My doghter is right here,” he makes humor by covering the dogs ears and laughing. “Get up, come on.. lie down,” he lifts her arms from his knees and kicks back to lay on the bed. The dog excitedly places half her body onto August's torso and he lets out a sharp moan, “Jesus.” Laying there a moment, he thinks about what she's said, “I know you think we're all a mess, but it doesn't make the situation any better.” ......................... notes: I'm sorry, I give you nothing music: Iron Fist.

[teddi st. james]

Bulleit seems to give the boy some comfort, as if she was an accidental stress service dog. August is gentle with the animal, loving as he touches her, and Teddi wonders briefly if she should get something of the sort, and then scoffs the idea away. She couldn't afford it, first off, and it was a similar feeling she had to people she'd gone to school with wanting children. Cute on someone else, but not for her. As the young man covers the dogs ears, Theodora can't help but smile, but she feels disappointed in a sense, for it seemed to be another excuse for August not to address their problem head on. What their problem even was, Teddi couldn't quite put her finger on, though he seemed to have a perfect idea. At one time she might have liked dinner and presents, and though she pretended she wanted those things, they became less and less important the longer she spent away from her father's money. It made sense to her then why he'd broken up with her. As he gets up, Teddi stays on the floor for a moment, cradling her knees and watching Bulleit move back on the bedspread. She exhales as she listens to him speak about how it doesn't soothe him, and the truth was that she didn't have an answer. "I don't know what to tell you, August. I'm not trying to alleviate your fears - I don't even get what those are. What is the situation again? Because if it's the fact I'm a brat and you think that's too annoying to handle on the day to day, then that's fine. I don't know what you being a mess has to do with that." The young woman stands, and sits on the corner of the beds, then crawls so she is laying on her back beside him and staring up at the ceiling. She didn't touch him. He wanted space, it had seemed, so space is what he'd receive. ......................... notes: womp womp music: bright eyes

[august de witte]

Staring up at the blank ceiling, he imagined that he hadn't made so many mistakes in such a short time. The girly touches spread throughout the house (specifically his bed room) stood as a reminder that he had fucked up. In less than a week August had started a relationship, ended a friendship, booted himself from his own apartment, rekindled a friendship with his brother, then rekindled his friendship with Nick and ended his relationship with Teddi. Why was he so volatile? He wonders this as his hand strokes his furry comrade, grey eyes staring at the bare surface of the ceiling. Maybe it was because he didn't get enough attention as a child. Always the different one, academic but not in the productive sense that all four of his brothers were. He never quite received that praise, so he figured negative attention was still attention. He considers this. He feels the bed shift a little and slants his eyes to see Teddi climbing beside him. “I don't think you're that annoying,” he admits, offering a half-assed smile. He doesn't know how to put how he feels into words, perhaps because he is so unsure of how he feels. There's the desperation and the fear, the indecisiveness fuels both of these feelings. “Everything just went too fast. It was.. first we were kissing and then you were my girlfriend, it had to be so exclusive,” his arm fishes around her and he pulls her against him, his actions fighting the legitimacy of his words. “I'm not ready, I don't know when I'll be ready for it. I'm applying to schools all over right now and I probably won't even be in New York six months from now.” ......................... notes: sorrr music: the war on drugs

[teddi st. james]

The brunette let herself be pulled against him, careful not to really touch him of her own volition, only to place a hand on his chest and tilt her head so that their gazes could meet as he spoke. The fact that he was just as fickle as she was wasn't lost on Teddi, though she felt a pang of jealousy that he could seem to dance around the consequences and come away from his disastrous choices unscathed. She was wrong, of course, but she didn't have the privilege of knowing what was going on inside his head. She sat still, her fingertips warming the fabric of his shirt. Her thumb fluttered a path on his chest, barely moving while the rest of her hand lazily rested. There wasn't anything falling from his mouth that she disagreed with; sabotaging things was her way of getting out of them. Teddi nodded against his shoulder, and lifted her hand to touch the side of his neck. He was warm, and she watched his Adam's apple bob as he continued to speak. "You don't have to justify yourself. " The thought of him leaving New York settled around her calmly, and she clung tight to the knowledge that Nick had gone and that they had survived. "I don't need to be your girlfriend. I don't like the thought of you with other girls, but I can deal with it if I have to. It might take me a while to accept, you know, someone else, but I'll do it because our friendship means more to me than that. I can put on my big girl panties and handle it." Teddi closed her eyes, fitting her face in his neck. Her face read no emotion as she pushed it down, her words ringing confident and true even if she felt unsettled. ......................... notes: bad music: the chainsmokers

[august de witte]

Her being so close to him made him yearn a little bit. His chest felt like it was cracking under the weight of his words and contradicting actions, with this his heart beat with a panic. There was something so easy about loving Teddi and it was just so simply comfortable being around her. But at the same time, every time she pressed herself into him and made the shapes of their bodies feel so compatible, it felt like these actions weren't so simple. They were more thought out and for once he couldn't guess where they originated from. The girl he knew so well and yet felt so distant in this peculiar situation. His hand cups her small shoulder and the warmth of her tiny body floats into his. His lids close over his eyes for a long blink as he listens to her words, once again not sure how to bring what he felt into words. He forces her to be more snug against him and presses his lips to her hair, “I didn't mean I don't want you and I didn't mean that I want someone else. You're making it more complicated, stop beating yourself up when it genuinely has very little to do with you.” August strokes her shoulder with his numb and gives her head another kiss, indulging in the contact he has with her. “I only want you, I genuinely can't handle us right now.” ......................... notes: le poo music: LORDE

[teddi st. james]

"I know you don't want anyone else, Aug. Even if I threw a tantrum." She murmurs the words into his neck, "I'm not beating myself up either. I'm just talking about eventually. If eventually that ever happens." Teddi could sense that he didn't quite understand where she was coming from - which was indicative of their relationship. She'd never had an ulterior motive, while he wondered what she could have possibly wanted from him, she didn't care the reason, just that she did. "And again, I don't give a shit about being your girlfriend. Not really. You know me, I do whatever the fuck I want anyway." As he presses his mouth to her hair, she sighs, then pushes herself up so that she is still leaning against him, but propped up on one elbow. She catches his gaze, then brushes a kiss against his neck. "I'm not that fragile. I'm not Corinne. I'm not going to bottle it up and let you off the hook. If you can't handle it, you can't handle it." Her mouth comes away from his neck and Teddi sits up fully. The young woman leans across him to touch Bulleit's coat. Her hair brushed against his chest, but she focused her attention on the dog instead. She'd resolved herself to this idea of what August wanted, already shrugging it off and trying to get on with her life. She had thrown her tantrum, done her kicking and screaming. The animal panted slightly, licking at the palm of her hand before resting down beside August again and let herself be pet without too much squirming. Teddi's hand over her fur, but she turned her head slightly to August. "We're fine. Got it? Unless you're not." ......................... notes: boom music: frank ocean