. now or never

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Dressed in an intentionally distressed olive green Yeezy sweatshirt that she had stolen from Danny, her hair in a messy topknot, Athena was looking scruffier than she was accustomed to. It was the first thing her mother had commented on upon her arrival, her eyes widening at the fact the sweater was designer. "Designer? The designer should be fired, you call that designer? Dolce and Gabanna that is not, designer, you must be joking Athena," she said, words flowing out of her red lacquered lips at a rate only someone with Greek relatives could keep up with. What she didn't know was that her arrival was later than Athena had anticipated, throwing her schedule off and sending her into a panic. "Yes mom, I know, I'll burn it," she said dismissively, reaching down to adjust the blanket that was wrapped around her sleepy son, the baby dozing in his carrier. "Yes. Anyway, I've really gotta go mom..." she started, though she knew she would be ignored. Which of course she was, as her mother busied herself with trying to flag down a waiter, pretending she hadn't heard. Athena sighed, looking around the cafe nervously. Maybe Damen would be late? Of course he wouldn't. Silently she cursed his reliability and her mother's lack thereof, knowing she should have seen this coming. "Now Athena, he did have the tiniest little temperature today but it was just a blip, wasn't it Theodore? You gave Yiayia a heartattack didn't you little one? When you get home you should run him a lukewarm bath, make sure he-- oh! Oh, look who it is! Damen!" Of course it only took one glance at the handsome man for Irene to shut up, something that Athena couldn't manage to get her mother to do with all the will in the world. The woman's face lit up as she stood to greet him, pulling Damen down into a vacant seat, completely oblivious to her daughter's increasing discomfort. Immediately she bombarded him with questions about everything; from his diet to his love life and school and politics, somehow starting off with a question about his health and winding up with a question about school shootings, restlessly bouncing from subject to subject without leaving him a second to reply. Athena sunk down into her chair, avoiding his eye contact as her mother rambled on, again distracting herself by fussing with the baby's blanket. Eventually she forced herself to look up, mouthing the words I'm sorry from behind her mom's head.

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Damen sits nervously in an Uber on route to a downtown restaurant. His forehead breeds a film of sweat and it's only when he pushes it away does he notice that his heads are shaking. He's full of emotion. He's afraid, he's upset, he's oddly happy. He tries to focus on that last feeling. This morning he had woken up in a loneliness and with nothing. And though his mind was here and there, he needed to remember that that wasn't a thing anymore. He was somehow less alone. If he were to die tomorrow he would be survived by someone, instead of hopelessly lonely. But then his mind darts to the what-the-fuckness and he's scraping at his scalp.

The uber pulls onto the curb and he tries to organize himself before he steps out. He dresses like a teacher even when he's not at school. A button down, tie, trousers and a pair of tidy looking sneakers. As he pulls at his tie the uber driver teases that he has a hot date and Damen laughs awkwardly before thanking him and leaving. As he raises his head he makes eye contact with Athena's mother, who beams when she sees him. "Irene," he smiles, kissing her cheek and pulling her into a quick hug. He's almost relieved that she's here, her excitement over him makes him feel less tense. He amuses her conversation, makes some jokes about playing hooky from school like the old days and mentions how glad he is to have caught her. He shakes his head at Athena's apologies. Irene drives the conversation into gun control and he's serious about it, but is thankful when the waiter comes to tend to them. "A gin tonic would fit great... oh Irene, don't look at me like that. It's not early enough."

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Athena cast her eye away from Damen as he engaged in polite conversation with her mother, ever the charmer. Without even speaking a word to him she felt a shift in their relationship, just looking at him. Damen and Victoria had always been parental figures to her, mythic in their empathy, so understanding and responsible and wise for a couple so young. Not even becoming a mother herself had stopped Athena from feeling a childlikeness around him, one that was exacerbated by hers and Danny's casual style, sloppy compared to them. But now it felt different, they had created this life together. It felt wrong, like a timeline had been confused, but it also felt more equal. She couldn't keep looking to him to rescue her, she would need to support him as much as he supported her from now on. She wasn't sure she was up to the task. Irene rambles on and Athena starts to feel nauseous. Theo grumbles, stirring from his sleep, and his mom immediately goes to him, scooping him out of the seat and nestling him against her shoulder. "Shh baby, shhh, it's okay," she says softly, bouncing him gently. "A white wine," she says to the waiter, grateful that Damen had led by example. Her mom goes to order, but is cut off, Athena's patience having met its limit. "Listen mom, thanks so much for taking Theo and everything, but would you mind giving us some privacy? There's some things Damen and I need to catch up on--" she started, ignoring her mom's visible upset. "-- It's about Matt's birthday. Nothing interesting," she finishes, knowing her mom thought Matt a buffoon and such a topic tedious beyond belief. Her mom sighed but seemed placated by this excuse. "Well, if that's how you feel... Wonderful seeing you, Damen."