CLARKE, Archer J.

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archer james , 30  .  nashville native  .  publicist .................................................................................... aj in quotes , HIS MOM - "Archer. My handsome boy. My only boy! With three sisters, Archie and his dad had their hands full in our house full of women. He's never complained. Archie just isn't a complainer, in fact, he's the smiliest person you'll ever meet. He's a people pleaser, so much so that it worries me sometimes - if he was really upset he'd never let it show, because he wouldn't want to upset you. Case in point is his marriage. I had a bad feeling about that girl from day one, I hate the way she speaks to him, how she treats him like another designer handbag. I can see she's hurting him, I know they're rocky, but whenever I ask he just gives me one of those Archie smiles and tells me I worry too much. I really do worry, probably not enough." HIS WIFE - "Ugh, can everyone stop asking me about him? I'm not his fucking PA, I don't know where he is, I don't care. Go ask his teenage mistress." HIS DAD - "My boy! I'll never forgive AJ for abandoning us for New York... just kiddin', I don't blame him for getting outta here. The girls are the reason I went prematurely gray, but AJ, he's my pride and joy. Chip off the old block, he was a great kid and he's grown into a better man. I couldn't be more proud." HIS EX- "Yeah, yeah, yeah, Archie's a good guy. He's got that southern charm, his accent still sends shivers down my spine... but my god, could he be annoying. Don't let the nice guy persona fool you, under all that he's still a red blooded man. Rough in bed, has a wandering eye, he's fiercely competitive with his buddies. What I'm saying is yeah, he is one of the good ones, just not as good as people make him out to be. I think he's pretty weak." HIMSELF - "Me? Oh god, don't make me talk about myself. What do you wanna know? I'm Archer, AJ to my buds. I work in a big PR firm in downtown Manhattan, I love it, it's still such a thrill even after almost ten years there. I'm married, no kids. Yet. My wife's a babe, I'm the luckiest guy in the world. ...I don't know what else to say. I'm a Scorpio??" .................................................................................... .................................................................................... likes , sunshine, soda, beach vacations, lebanese food, girls in thigh highs, fridays in the office, sundays in bed, manhattan in the early hours, brooklyn in the late ones, spotify, trash tv, haribo, visiting nashville often, pale ales, salty food, black coffee, train journeys, aimee's pancakes, all breakfast foods, old fashioned manners, table tennis, iced tea, scarlett's perfume, bukowski, his sisters, jon hamm, water parks, the arctic monkeys, bojack horseman, the mattifying patricks hair wax, diner waitresses in their retro uniforms, military movies, neon signs, first class lounges at airports, frank sinatra. dislikes , being left on read, aimee's tantrums, rude clients, hangovers on days off, board meetings, green juice, green tea, green apples, social justice warriors, talking politics, the silent treatment, working out, ice, blended whisky, conference calls, audiobooks, double dates, rich food, stuck up people, cop shows, that generic iphone alarm noise, the increasingly real prospect of divorce, his mother in law, nepotism, rain, ikea trips, the lack of privacy that living with aimee creates, hayfever. .................................................................................... i could never give you just what you deserved "When I was a little girl I wanted to be an actress. My mom told me I'd never make it, so I ended up settling for PR. My mom told me to marry well, which I took to mean marrying wisely, not just blindly trusting my heart but really holding out for the right man. When I did that, she made a joke at our wedding about how I should have gone for his boss, and I realized what she'd actually meant.  But Archer was a good choice. His family are nice, he's good to me, combined we have a healthy income. Plenty to raise a family, if that's something we ever get around to doing. But none of those reasons are what drew me to him. If I'm really honest with myself, if you swear not to tell another soul... I wanted him because I could see how badly everyone else did. The girls in our office melt when he smiles at them, his female clients act like he's the famous one, all my friends seethe with jealousy when he's around. Most women would be threatened by that, but I get off on it. There was one piece of advice my mother gave me that I wish I had taken to heart. When I was sixteen or seventeen, she caught me flirting with a teacher of mine, a youngish but married man. As soon as we left she told me I ought not to do that, because one day my husband would be talking to a beautiful young girl, and I wouldn't stand a chance if that girl chose to take advantage of his weakness. I should have listened that time." .................................................................................... don't be a bummer, be my undercover lover babe     I used to love working late, but now I'm scared to. Once I found the quiet in the office peaceful, the absence of people milling around, asking me questions and chatting, gave me the peace I needed to churn through my to do list. Now I need them here, need witnesses, need distractions. Need the protection. If I sound like a pussy it's because I am, I'm fucking weak. What am I so scared of, I hear you ask! Well, that'd be my twenty year old intern. I'm scared of the way she bends over a desk. I'm scared of her honey-sweet voice, and the fact she uses it to call me 'Daddy'. I'm scared of her youthful confidence. Girls where I'm from weren't like that, not even at her age! More than anything, I want her to stop asking me if I'll meet her in the utility closet, 'cause I'm straight up terrified of how badly I want to say yes. Scarlett means cold showers and not being able to stand up from my desk. She means days of abuse from Aimee, who gets mad at me for letting her come to meetings, even though she knows I have to. Scarlett is the reason I pretend to forget to log in to our office messaging service every day. She distracts me purposefully and unintentionally too, she's halved my professional productivity. Aimee and I aren't as intimate as we used to be, but on the rare occasions we are, my mind wanders to Scarlett and it's an effort not to blow straight away. I hate the kid, she's ruining me.

alexandra    |    trey baxter   |    resident