SCOTT, Charlie J.

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DR. SCOTT  CHARLES JAMES SCOTT , THIRTY-THREE CARDIAC SURGEON - NEW YORK PRESBYTERIAN DALLAS NATIVE, CURRENT NEW YORKER  TIM SCOTT -  "If there's one thing I can't get past, it's my big brother stealing my signature moustache. Who does that? The guy is already a 6'1", blue eyed, chiseled fucking heart surgeon. Couldn't I have had this one thing? That's Charlie though. He doesn't mean to, but he can suck all the oxygen out of a room sometimes. I kinda blame our mom, she's always telling everyone who'll listen about her son the doctor, it's gone to his head. Really, I'm proud of him. After what he's been through over the last couple years and all those years of school, he deserves a few bragging rights. Not that he does brag, not overtly. He just kinda... I don't know, he's condescending as fuck. You can have a normal conversation with him about nothing very much and still come away with the feeling that he thinks you're a fucking idiot, even though he's not said a single openly judgemental thing. I don't know how he does it, it's a gift he's had since forever. If you talk to him and Eve you'd think I was the family fuck up, though I'm honestly pretty successful myself... at least I gave our parents their first grandkid, that's something they can't take away from me."  EVE SCOTT -  "First of all, let me make it clear that I'm the smartest Scott. Charlie will tell you it's him and my mom would agree, but that's because she's annoyingly obsessed with him. Dad agrees that it's actually me. The rare times we get together as a family I'll admit it can become competitive between Charlie and I, especially since I finished law school and am officially a lawyer. Everyone knows that surgeons are the meatheads of the medical field! Really, I love my brothers and I wouldn't be where I am if it wasn't for our competitiveness spurring me on. We had such a nice childhood but our parents did drill it into us that they expected us to succeed, that by giving us a nice house and paying for good schools they wanted a return on their investment. I'm not sure it was the best choice with Timmy, but Charlie and I make up for it. He out earns me considerably at the moment but give it a year, I'll beat him yet."  - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - to:  [e-mail] from: Charles Scott <[e-mail]> Thu 05/05/2020 23:09 subject: Hello, I guess.   Hi. I've never done anything like this, so I'm not quite sure where to start. Someone gave me your phone number but talking aloud felt like a step too far, so I thought I'd try this. Sorry if I'm wasting your time. My girlfriend died two years ago. We were on vacation with friends in Hawaii, celebrating a career milestone for me, her promotion and her friend's birthday. As you can probably imagine, we thought we were in for the trip of a lifetime... I'll cut to the chase, as I'm sure you hear stories like this all the time. She drowned. We were all tipsy, she insisted on taking a dip and she got caught in a riptide. It was the worst day of my life, obviously. My work involves a lot of death and I always thought I'd be more stoic when faced with it in my personal life, but I feel as though I died then too. This is the first I'm talking about it and I can't stand how whiny I sound. We hadn't even been dating that long, it's not like she was the love of my life... but she didn't deserve what she got. She was a remarkable woman and I know she would have done amazing things had she been given the chance to. Here I am talking in cliches and making it all about me. But I want to stay to someone, anyone, something I have not felt able to say: I miss her terribly. It's not my place to say that, because I should have been there. Really, I should have been right by her side, I should have been there to save her or die trying. I'm a doctor and it's my job to try to protect life-- what kind of doctor can't save his own girlfriend? Yes, I realize how narcissistic this all sounds. I do feel deeply for her friends and family, it's something I think about constantly, endlessly, every day.  I'm sorry, I don't know what the point of this was. Thanks for reading. - Charlie to:  Charles Scott <[e-mail]> from: Grief Outreach <[e-mail]> Fri 05/08/2020 09:23 subject: Re: Hello, I guess.   Hello Charlie, Thank you so much for your email, we're so glad you reached out to us. Please don't feel as though you are wasting our time, supporting the bereaved through their grief is exactly what we are here for. Guilt is a common feeling when a loved one passes, especially so when it is an unexpected accident. She sounds like a wonderful woman, Charlie, I'm so sorry for your loss. But I must reiterate that this was an accident. A cruel accident and I agree that she deserved a fuller life, but from what you have said it seems as though there is nothing you could have done, even had you been there. Though it may seem impossible, I implore you to be kind to yourself. Beating yourself up and dwelling on what ifs may be tempting, but it won't change the reality of the situation. Perhaps it would help if you shared some pleasant memories you have of her? Take care of yourself Charlie, we're here for you. to:  Charles Scott <[e-mail]> from: Grief Outreach <[e-mail]> Sun 05/10/2020 19:58 subject: Re: re: Hello, I guess.   Hi Charlie, Just following up on our previous email. How have you been coping? There is no correct way to grieve, it's important that you don't bottle it up. We're here for you to talk. to:  Charles Scott <[e-mail]> from: Grief Outreach <[e-mail]> Wed 05/13/2020 19:58 subject: Re: re: re: Hello, I guess.   We appreciate that you may not be ready to talk. Please know that we're thinking of you and we will be here when you are. Take care Charlie.

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