MCCARTHY, lily c.

[lily mccarthy]

Just going off vibes from the groupchat with my beloved discosoursummer and mccarthavoy - but Met Me at Midnight hassss to be about Isaac. She mentioned in a radio interview in St. Louis on her tour earlier this year that the song came from late night conversations with people that go way too long, and you say way too much. Which...yeah, totally get. BUT, there's a throwaway sentence in the interview you have to listen to to catch, about how sometimes the other people (or person) wouldn't even be in the same timezone, so there's that lonely hour mention too. I tracked back old fan gatherings of stories and posts and know she was recording in New Mexico when Isaac was in Los Angeles. A missed time zone!! teatime4emily: I'll raise you one better - Holy Smokes. We all know Zac's been a smoker, and Lily's been a total anti. So when she sang the line "stole that cigarette, remember how we met, smoke and sweet moonlight" I had to pause because I was like whoa, kind of out of character. THEN I found this series of pictures - Lily and Zac at a Cat's Cradle afterparty years ago, and she steals. his. cigarette. suitesinsweetcarolinas: 🤯

*The below was confirmed to be stricken from the record in an upcoming ELLE profile on her life view: "You are at once the quiet and confusion in my heart" I can't remember where I read that Kafka quote, but it's been stuck with me for a while. It defines a lot of things - relationships, grief, loss - intangibles that hold space in my heart on the good and bad days. And the space in my heart seems to get smaller and smaller over time. on weaknesses: Someone asked me once, what my Achilles heel was. I think my original answer is that I care too much, which is very searching - but in all honesty, my weakness is people who don't deserve me. I am incapable of letting go of people who don't serve me, because I believe so blindly that they'll come around. One day things will change, and I won't look at them the same. Feel the same, be the same. And I let them break their promises, again and again, and somehow rebuild my own processes. I think...sometimes, I need something so rosy to combat the hole my father left. I think if he looked at me now, he'd shake his head, hold me tight, and somehow reset this heart of mine that's been leading me astray. on fame: I don't think I was totally ready for fame, but I don't have a choice now. In a lot of things, really. So I control the controllable, think much further down the line than everyone expects. It's what keeps me one step ahead of the label, of sound tweaks and single recommendations and graphic direction. I know what I'm doing, even if it's all watched under a microscope. At the core of it all I love my music, the people I connect with and the way it resonates with so many. I wish I could have that, the core community, without all the speculation and claustrophobia. Fame makes you feel so small. on family: We have something special. It's a gift to have a gift, and for us all to share the same one forever kept us close. Even with losing my dad...it was a solace that we all sought in different ways. Joe's recording studio in New Mexico became my home away from home, my mother would make us warm tea and honey after long days. It's authentic, heart cherishing love, and even with all of this off the record, I honestly can say I wouldn't be where I am without them. on love: The million dollar question these days, isn't it? The short of it is no, Isaac and I aren't together. Never have been, much to the chagrin of probably a million fan pages. And I can understand the rumors...we're extremely close. Grew closer over time and the pandemic and everything. He's been around my life for so long, and honestly...it was just advice, at first. From him, Joey, Taylor even, when I wanted to start taking things seriously. Then it was long phone calls over COVID, his appearances on my tour. I discouraged nothing, letting nature and the press take its course because everyone said it was exactly what I needed. What I didn't need, though, was to muddy the waters. We'd joke about playing it up for the imminent paparazzi outside, but after a long time the lines blurred. Spend enough time with someone, see them at their best and worst, when they have no faith in themselves and when nothing can tear them down, and you'll inevitably fall in love with them. Crave their closeness, find it unimaginable to live without them. It's terrifying, y'know? I've...I don't know. There's been so much, he's so tangled up in my life...I don't know if I could let him go even if I wanted to, or if it was all he asked of me. Even if I tried, I know I'd end up failing. Scary, right? Love is like sleeping with the lights on, all the time. Bright but exhausting, something lurking in the shadows. I think the funny...well, not funny...but craziest part about everything I just said is I was seeing someone else right when my tour wrapped. It ended very recently, and on good terms - he got signed on for The Eras Tour, and after talking it through we weren't sure what another 1.5 years apart was going to look like. We're taking some time apart now to try to resettle into our friendship, but yeah. Funny how everything falls in and out - and no, it's not worth it for me to expose him. I'm trying to get better about that.

jill . camilla . famous