let it slip

[aisha van buren]

With shaky hands, Aisha raises a glass of beaujolais to her full lips and takes a long sip. She hasn't slept a wink and she looks it, her hair unstyled, her makeup limited to waterproof mascara and a slick of tinted balm. She's skittish, her nerves shot, and after a limited exchange the waiter has made the smart decision to give her as much space as possible as she waits for her plus one. Before long he shows up, looking impossibly, infuriatingly gorgeous. "Hello."

[freddie beaumont]

Anxious wasn't an emotion he felt quite often, but it plagued his entire body since the moment he opened his eyes this morning. Not even the gym this morning could ease the anxiety that sat on his chest. Yesterday went..just as Freddie predicted. He pulls a black cashmere sweater over his freshly washed body before leaving his apartment to meet Aisha. He finds her with a glass to her mouth. Freddie feels even more guilty seeing a slight glimpse of bags beneath her gorgeous eyes. "Sorry I'm a little late. What's your poison this morning?"

[aisha van buren]

Aisha spins the wine glass where its sat on the table, her eyes fixed on the glossy crimson liquid swirling inside it. She hates feeling on the back foot, it's a novel feeling in the worst way, and she especially hates that it's Freddie who's led her to feeling it. "It's not the morning," she snaps at him, though her phone is accusingly displaying the time as 12:01 - so when she ordered, it had been. He sits down and she can smell his body wash, making her wish she'd put a little more effort into her own appearance. Without answering his question she gestures for the waiter to bring him a glass of the same, before sitting back and looking at him, trying to disguise her rising fear. "So."

[freddie beaumont]

Freddie chuckles at her instantaneous snark. He's sat down for all but two minutes and her claws have come out. The display on her phone states 12:01, he shakes his head a little more at the snide comment. It's also the picture of herself obvious on the screen background that makes him smirk a little as he looks up at her. "Okay." He agrees, just to save themselves from starting with an argument. A glass filled with the red liquid is offered to him. He gladly accepts and immediately takes a sip, knowing he needs something to take the edge off. "So. Where's the hitman sitting?" Freddie glances around the restaurant to look for any suspicious looking characters. "I am sorry," his words sincere and stated directly to her after his scanning of the room.

[aisha van buren]

She doesn't know what to say. Sitting there, she feels a fear unlike anything she's ever felt before, an irrational, bone-deep fear. Usually she wouldn't worry about anything that could theoretically be solved by her very expensive lawyers, but Freddie's lawyers would be even more expensive. Usually she'd be able to bully anyone into submission, but if anything, it seemed mildly irritating to him at most. All her usual defences were inadequate, at the only time in her life when she'd ever felt like she had anything to lose. "You aren't funny," she says, though some of the defiance has slipped from her voice. He apologizes and she has to take a second to stop herself from bursting into a loud sob. Instead, she takes another sip. "What do you want, have you decided? Because you can't have her."

[freddie beaumont]

Honestly, he's not sure what he wants. He's suspected for a very long time that he was the father of Aria but never said a word. In his mind, Aisha didn't want him to be apart of her life. He wasn't ready to be a father then and had zero responsibilities around the time that Aria was born. He was selfish, still is really but something bugged him lately about the situation. Maybe it was his TINY bit of maturity forming. He sighs when her defensive side comes out again in full force. "Why didn't you ever want me to be in her life?" He bluntly asks, though he's aware of what she might saw. "We can go back and forth many times with the whole 'I never said anything, because you never said anything' bullshit." He takes another sip of his drink. "We both made mistakes. And I'm not going to take her away. Get that out of your mind, I can tell if's making you anxious." Freddie looks down at the drink in his glass as he says the last words. "This is me wanting to be in her life, if you want me to be in her life. Because I really care about you and can finally understand it."

[aisha van buren]

The wine tastes bitter on her tongue so she stops drinking it. His blunt question catches her off guard and her heartbeat quickens, blood pumping through her ears. "Because you're you." It's a harsh answer and one that's only partially true. Freddie has never struck her as someone who wanted a domestic life, a wife and kids who'd only hold him back. Finally he tells her he won't take her away and though she's not entirely convinced, she lets out a breath she hadn't realized she was holding. He says he wants to be in her life and Aisha is surprised to find that, alongside her usual fear she feels a glimmer of something else... is that hope? Despite the bitterness she takes a long sip of her wine, buying time as her mind races for something to say. "It's not something you can opt in and out of Freddie. Everything changes once you take that on. Everything."

[freddie beaumont]

He knew her words would be harsh yet truthful about why she never reached out about her pregnancy. If anyone knew him to be reckless, selfish and not one to be very serious - it was Aisha. He doesn't answer her response, just presses his lips together and nods his head. Thinking more about how his life was due to change with whatever she chose. Freddie watches her visibly spread relief through her entire body upon telling her he wasn't taking Aria away. He was not always the nicest of people, but that was never a thought that crossed his mind. Even though he did have some damn good, expensive lawyers. "I understand what I'm offering," he replies so quickly after another intimidation session from her. Life would change, but it seemed to be doing that anyways. Outside he was calm and collected, but inside he was a mess. Feeling his stomach roll as he waited for her to seal his fate. Was he ready for all of this? It felt like the answer was no.

[aisha van buren]

He insists that he understands and it sounds like he's serious. Her eyes settle on him, searching his face for some clue of what he was thinking. She knows it's not fair to immediately say no, though she wants to-- not fair to him, but more importantly, not fair to Aria. But she can't bring her lips to form the words. Heaving a sigh, she sits back in the booth. "It's no sleep. It's managing the nannies. It's checking out schools, it will be helping with homework, with boys, with..." she runs out of steam, the enormity of the task ahead weighing heavy on her. In truth, she doesn't want to do it alone, but she hasn't considered an alternative. Until now. "It'll cost you a lot of dates. Being a parent isn't the most attractive thing to other twenty-somethings."

[freddie beaumont]

Freddie's paid no attention to the decreasing amount of drink in his glass. He takes another sip only to realize it's empty. In between sentences, he's taken sips that have turned into large gulps. Nothing was calming his nerves and he was trying so hard to seem as though he couldn't be bothered. Though his trembling leg has hit the table top a few times. The waiter must have noticed his now finished glass and slowly approaches beside Aisha. Freddie points to it and the waiter takes his cue. "I wouldn't have offered if I didn't know what it meant," Freddie scratches behind his neck as he speaks. "I'm not going to be great..given this is new territory to me and I feel like you're going to have to hold me accountable. But I know you'll probably have no issue with that." He's honest and he's aware he has no knowledge when it came to raising a child. He chuckles at her remark about his dating life. "C'mon Aisha, do I really even date? We know what I prefer anyways."

[aisha van buren]

Aisha's head is swimming. She's not sure why she picked this French bistro as the perfect avenue to discuss her daughter's future, except that it had been the only place that popped into her head during her panicked conversation the night before. There's a businessman sitting a couple of tables over from them eating his lunch, and the smell of garlic is making her want to throw up. Or maybe it's the current conversation - hard to tell. "I don't want to have to babysit you and Aria." Though of course she'd watch him like a hawk... if she ever let it happen, something she hasn't made up her mind up about yet. She sighs again, her breath shaky. "What has your mom been saying, exactly?"

[freddie beaumont]

Freddie lets out a small laugh at the mere image of Aisha babysitting him and Aria. He lets his mind wander to the idea of him and Aisha with Aria. It pulled at his heart and made him feel things that he didn't realize he had. Those would be thoughts that stayed to themselves, deep inside the archives of the mind of Freddie Beaumont. "You'd be watching me like a hawk regardless, let's be honest here," he murmurs as he gives her a knowing look. Soon enough, another glass replaces the empty one in his hand and he's obliged to take another sip. His mom was pressuring him for selfish reasons, she was more than ready to be a grandma - as she told him many times. Freddie would break her heart each time by stating he was never getting married or having kids. The latter one actually being proven false. "She wants to be a grandma," he sighs thinking about how giddy and strange his mother was acting towards this entire situation. "She's told me she's disappointed, called me a handful of names too and said Aria looks exactly like me."

[aisha van buren]

Freddie laughs lightly and its still deep and painfully attractive. Everything about him oozes confidence and with it sex appeal, though she can see the small tells that he's anything but relaxed. Though their legs aren't touching under the small table, she can sense that his is moving, a nervous tic that she had seen before, though not often. "Well you need it." As resistant as she is, the image of him holding Aria, playing with her, strapping her into her stroller... it's all surprisingly easy for her to picture, and she wonders if she hadn't wanted that all along. She imagines the reaction from her parents and it's easy to picture as he describes how his mom has been. With an empty glass, she reaches over and takes a sip from his without a word of thanks. After a long pause, she forces herself to look at him. "I suppose it's not fair on Aria for me to keep her from her father."

[freddie beaumont]

A smirk plays on his lips as she grabs his glass to take a drink. Freddie hadn't even noticed it was now empty. Naturally, Freddie pays close attention to the way her full lips touch the glass and it ignites the dormant attraction he always holds for her. It's his turn to let out a breath he hadn't even realized he was holding. The bit of happiness he feels is overcome with fear. It sounded like a good idea, Freddie knew it was the right thing to do. "I can't promise I'm going to be great at this. I'm sure you're going to yell at me many of times, too." Freddie lets a little bit of insecurity shine through his words. "Fuck, now we have to tell Tate. He's going to murder me before I even get a chance to do anything dad-like." Freddie cringes thinking how his best friend was going to take this.

[aisha van buren]

Aisha can't believe the words that have come out of her mouth. How easily she's caved. In truth, she knew it was the right thing to do and deep down, she also knew it was inevitable-- her dad had warned her that eventually, someone would try to stake a claim. So she had been ready for that, though Freddie probably didn't know how ready. "Obviously, I was fairly sure. But after Halloween I stole your hairbrush." Aisha lifts her battered old Birkin Kelly bag into her lap, stolen from her mother when she was fourteen. She fishes out a sealed envelope, placing it on the table and sliding it across to him. "I haven't looked, and I'm sure your family will want to do a more official test. But there it is." She was not bothered by the prospect of another test, she knew how their families could be. Though mention of her brother makes her sigh again, sitting back against the chair as her stomach churned. "You can be the one to tell him. Assuming that paper says what we think it will."