ANDERSON, Ruby J.

[ruby anderson]

"MEL" - She doesn't love when I call her that, but she never says anything to prove that it bothers her. So I'll keep calling her that. That's where we are the same. Both stubborn and don't want to show any weakness. It all started with her love for ballet. Mel mourns the life that she could've had if she hadn't been in a horrific car accident that impaired her ability to ever perform again. After that dream was let to die, she came up with what could be called second best - opening her own studio. Mel wanted to put her greatness upon others, as she's told me many times now. She was really good, I'll give her that. I won't say that to her face. Maybe when I was younger, but now when she talks about 'the good ol days' I just nod my head and act like I couldn't care less. But don't you think that maybe she should stop saying 'her greatness' since those days are long gone now? It's been at least over nineteen years, just saying. I think that my issues started when Mel met Sasha. She is a student enrolled in her studio classes, of course particularly Ballet. Sasha is also a grade younger than Mira and I. We both had seen her around school. When Mel first met her, there were stars in her eyes. I would know, I was also in the very same class. I watched the entire scene happen and guessed how it would end. Sasha would become my mother's prodigy. Mel and I had agreed that I would complete one more year of ballet then I could decided if I truly wanted to be done. It was three weeks after Sasha joined that I knew I wouldn't be keeping my end of the bargain. Mel's attitude and excitement towards the girl made me feel gross. My palms constantly grew sweaty while gripping the bar, I had a pit in my stomach and I would watch with jealousy as Mel complimented everything that the younger dancer did. It was the straw that broke me and my liking to ballet. I stayed with my mother until the final class of the evening, usually. We had the longest, quietest car ride. Mel tried to talk, I ignored. This isn't anything new for us, but typically she could get a few mumbles or syllables from me. I slammed the car door shut and sprinted off into the house, leaving Mel most likely speechless. I spent all night crying in my bedroom, aware of what this meant and what it felt like. This was my replacement and I didn't like to be replaced, or jealous. I scrubbed every bit of those feelings off of me in a hot shower and proceeded to cry myself to sleep. That was the last time I would let anyone make me feel inferior, I repeated over and over. The next morning I cornered my dad, bursted into tears and asked him to take care of the situation. My mom was heartbroken, I could see it all over her face and her demeanor towards me. She couldn't understand why in her words I was 'giving up.' Sasha is a great dancer, I'm not going to tell her that though. It wasn't before long that Sasha turned into a regular at my parent's home. Next it was the spare bedroom, becoming a place for her to stay the night. According to Mel, Sasha needed help. Her family was broken, her parents were splitting up and moving away. Mel offered for her to finish out the school year with us, so she could take her to NYU, Juilliard, basically whatever she wanted. My boundary was the Dunmere House. That was my happy place, she wouldn't be allowed to have that too. Dad knew my feelings, we talked a lot. He knew the joy that place brought me, as well as Mira & Colt. The thought of them being taken away from me? No. Never. I could hear Mel and Dad talking about it, as if the walls weren't thick enough to hide them arguing. Sasha hasn't stepped foot in Dunmere. I'm sure our house is much better without me there, while I'm at NYU. Sasha can have whatever she wants, which clearly is my family, my paren't house and my mom's dream but she wouldn't have Dunmere or ever live up to my reputation.  SLEEPING WITH A FRIEND // why mess up a good thing? It's always been a hot and cold thing between Colt and I. Am I attracted to him? Of course I am, look at him, who wouldn't be? Was it something that I honestly should've initiated? No. Envy and jealous. They go hand and hand, it triggers a part deep inside of me that I don't like to touch upon. Honestly I've never even thought of Colton in any other way than a friend. We made a pact when were younger. This last summer before freshman year of NYU, it was mostly just us two. Mirren had Matt and they were basically always off doing something together. Again, it was just that two of us, we were sitting around a bonfire with a group of people we saw every summer. My body is warm from the fire and the contents of the red solo cup in my hand. Colton's body is beside me, not too close. He's talking to some of the girls of the group, I hear him whispering to her. His tone was flirtatious and when I quickly glanced, her cheeks were turning red. My stomach churned as I continued listened to their conversation. My palms were sweaty, it was like deja vu. I wanted to be the center of his attention, even though I didn't see him as anything other than a friend. I knew what he viewed me as too. But I also knew what I was turning in to, especially post glow up from Mirren. An attractive young woman. The need, want for attention was seeping from me always these days. The night was ending, I knew we both had a good buzz on. We made a pact when we were younger, something along the lines of never letting anything get in the way of this special friendship we had. The pact was far away from my mind when I kissed him on the way back to Dunmere House. His face was one I'd never forget when I pulled away. Filled with shock, confusion and maybe some anger. Colt berated me for a few minutes, talking about the pact, a few other things too, but I stopped listening. It was my turn to be shocked when he returned the favor, kissing me back. So yeah, I probably messed up a good thing by sleeping with my friend. This is a secret I'll be taking to my grave. Colton is anxious I'm going to say something to Mira. Why would I? First off, I know he's always felt something different towards, even treated her differently. I'm not that blind, just slightly jealous. But she's my friend too. Passionate and hot as it might of it, it ends there for the two of us. For now. SLEEPING WITH THE ENEMY //  they say i did something bad. It was just a dare. Or it was supposed to be just that. Introduction to Chemistry wasn't even supposed to be something I was going to take. A class I wanted filled up, this was my back up. The silvering line was that a few of my new made friends were taking the class as well. Nicolas Angelo was attractive for a man in late 30's, maybe even early 40's. I never asked him his age. The first thing I noticed was that he wasn't wearing a wedding ring. The girls picked up on how much attention I loved to give when it came to Professor Angelo. So naturally when they dared me to get close to him, I didn't want to say no. We weren't aware of his reputation at this point either. So I had my fun, until he was getting creepy. Then rumors were spreading about how much he loved younger girls. His messages that were once hot turned into a whole other feeling. Dread, fear, and odd, among the few things that could describe it. How could I ignore them when I had to see him every Tuesday and Thursday? I tried. But it only proved to be worse for me. My grades were suddenly slipping. I didn't want to go to Professor A for help, I could see him taking advantage of the situation. So I suffered the consequences and failed the semester. Mel and Dad were pissed, they didn't understand how I could be doing so well and suddenly not. I knew the real reason but again, my lips were sealed. Now here I am again, retaking the semester of hell and hoping that I can make it out alive. NEW MESSAGE FROM PROFESSOR A: are you thinking about me while you're flirting with him?  you're looking awfully desperate, little one. NEW MESSAGE FROM PROFESSOR A: i can see you looking at your phone. quit ignoring me. you know the consequences. SO HOW DO YOU THANK YOUR BEST FRIEND? You push her away. Mirren taught me everything. Gave me all the tips, tricks and ways to perfect not only my every day make up but even for special occasions. It was the icing on the cake for what would solidly my role of being the cool, popular girl. Truthfully, I've had been holding my breath for the longest time for Mirren to assume that position. Look at her, she's so stunning without even trying. She doesn't know that I'm envious of her. So why did I do it? Why did I push her away? Sasha, Mel, and the person I felt myself becoming. I didn't want Sasha to have Mirren. Or Colton. But especially not Mirren. The one who knew my secrets, who let me vent whenever I needed to. I left Dunmere that summer and felt different. With her help, I could conquer anything because of my new looks. Mirren was my best friend but I was keeping quite a bit from her all the sudden. I was a different person in the summer too, I know that this is the person that everyone prefers. If you had asked me a few years ago what going to NYU with my best friends was like, I would have a different answer. The girl I was back then would be devastated to hear the real answer now. We're rocky now, we'll probably be more rocky if she ever finds out about the little secret Colt and I are keeping. I don't plan for her to, by the way. I do love Mirren and would never want to hurt her. Despite my dramatic and being pretty self centered ninety percent of the time, my heart belongs in Dunmere which means that it softens towards Mirren and Colt.  DUNMERE HOUSE MEL, HELENA & HEIDI Can you imagine having three moms? It's what it feels like. Mel has been enough for me. I've always loved their dynamic though. Summer time was the best especially since it meant we got to spend it at Dunmhere House. It was loud, it was quiet at times and often filled with giggles and laughters from both crowds.   THE PACT "WE SOLMENLY SWEAR AND PROMISE NEVER TO LET ANYTHING HAPPEN TO OUR FRIENDSHIP. IT'S ALWAYS GOING TO BE THE THREE OF US. THAT MEANS WE CAN'T KISS EACH OTHER....OR DO ANYTHING ELSE, OKAY? WE CAN NEVER DO THAT. IT'S US FOREVER." "should we make it a blood oath?"  - RUBY "ew no, ruby. don't be weird, that's so gross." - MIRA "i mean i have a pocket knife?" - COLT "NO. We can write it on paper." - MIRA LAST SNAPCHAT: to jessica - a random picture to keep our 489 day snap streak alive. LAST TEXT MESSAGE: to colton - again, i'm not going to tell the precious mira. LAST INSTAGRAM DM: to @mirrenhewitt - meme about the 10 year olds in sephora. LAST CALL: to spencer - asking if he stole my apple watch charger when i was home because i can't find it anywhere. LAST EMAIL: to [e-mail] - asking when study sessions were available for CHEM-UA 120.

kayla   annie schroter   student