. enthalpy

[ruby anderson]

The coffee shop found Ruby at the precise moment. She always thought that it found its way to her. One day she was leaving campus grounds and stumbled upon the shop. The city had thousands of shops that sold coffee and books, but it was the first time while being in the city she’d seen them combined. Back home in Westchester, her childhood bedroom was her safe haven. Her parents knew that when the door was shut, Ruby was either in a mood or needed space. In the Hamptons, it was riding her bike through the popular shops and ending at their pool house. Even if he did not know it, he was the first person she’d let in to one of her happy places. His playful demeanor strikes her curious. And causes her to giggle several times at the silly actions he finally was comfortable making in front of Ruby. Slouching on the couch and teasing her, almost as much as she did him. “You can attempt, but I don’t think I’ll be falling in love with chemistry. We’ll leave that to you,” she chuckles at the mere thought of her switching her major to chemistry. If taking this class twice was any indicator, she’d most likely be staying away from the science courses. He closes his eyes and dares Ruby to ask him further questions. “That seems awfully dangerous, Everett.” Ruby returns his smirk. She had an endless amount of questions she wanted to ask. Did she use this moment to make him sweat more? He seemed to be egging her on, but maybe she was reading into things. After a minute of pondering, she settles on one.“What are you thinking about right now? Honest answers only. And you can’t say school.” She's looking directly to him as she asks the question, wondering if he could feel her piercing blue eyes zoned in on his closed ones.

[everett howe]

He wondered what a day would feel like in her shoes. He knew vaguely of her schedule, of her social circle, of what she did outside of classes, but rather like an observer than an active participant. It was as if she were telling him stories of a world far off from which he didn’t belong, hearing of her sophomore experience vicariously. If he thought about it too long, he might let in the bittersweet realization that they had not found one another by choice, and in a few months this arrangement would end. That was how he operated, mapping things out so far in the future it was difficult to enjoy the present. But with Ruby keeping him on his toes, butting against his defenses, he was forced into his body and out of his head. It was dangerous, but something about the moment encouraged him to be as daring as he was used to from her. He could hear the smirk in her voice, sure that he would catch a smile if he opened his eyes to peek. “Hmm,” he hummed out loud, feigning deep concentration. If anything, this was when he was finally allowed to turn his brain off; it would be easier to ask him what wasn’t on his mind. “I’m thinking about how I wish we could be on the beach right now. That the sun was out and the rest of the day was free,” he said, a vivid image coming to life behind his eyelids. Maybe that was his secret place, by the water. “You remind me of home. Like if a California sunrise was a person,” he continued, a smile unknowingly tugging at his lips.

[ruby anderson]

This was bold and dangerous. Two words that Ruby seemed to live her life by. Would he be willing to spill what was truly on his mind? Would he ask Ruby the same question? She wasn't sure if he was ready to be all that honest again. Nervous that he would reject her, just as he did that awful day in his office. Her heart pounds and she feels the beat in her ears as she waits for his response. Everett is all smiles as he confesses what's on his mind. The beach, the two of them together. Ruby lets her mind drift off California was on her bucket list, a place she promised herself she'd visit one day. "Who knew you could be so sweet." She nudges his shoulder gently, not to stir him entirely since he was trying to rest his eyes. "I like that you think so highly of me," she responds in a flirtatious tone. If his eyes were opened, he'd see that she tossed her blonde hair over her shoulder. Ruby's stomach twisted in knots as he replayed his words in her head. She didn't deserve those words, no matter how desperately she wanted to maintain that image he had of her. "Don't forget that I'm not always the perfect angel." He got a glimpse of that side when he offended her. "Okay, your turn. Make it a good one," it was her turn to dare the man.

[everett howe]

What would it be like to give in? To admit his doubts and uncertainties, to allow himself to be vulnerable? The two of them, in their own ways, brandished deceiving masks that were difficult to shed. Although people typically saw Ruby’s sunny exterior and formidable confidence, he sometimes caught glimpses of the scared, shy girl she tried to hide. He knew something about that—overcompensating for a weak spot in order to divert attention away from it. If for a day he could shed himself, venture a mile in Ruby’s shoes, he was sure they lived startlingly different lives with tiny threads connecting them in ways they never anticipated. Sweet she called him, his dark eyebrows rising in surprise. “That’s a new one,” he noted, absorbing her playful nudge and wishing he could have caught her hand before it dropped away. He wasn’t that brave yet, still oblivious to much of her subtle flirtation. “I’d say you’re 51% angel, 49% devil,” he quipped before deciding to finally open his eyes. It felt as though the force of gravity had increased, being able to look at her again. Of course it was his turn, with Everett reaching for his coffee still on the table. “Go on, close your eyes,” he insisted, waiting and sipping until her lashes fluttered faithfully together. This was all so silly but he couldn’t bring himself to break the spell. “What’s the last crazy thing you did?" he wondered.

[ruby anderson]

God it's so tempting to just lean over and kiss him, her brain screams as she watches him closely. His body was mere inches away. He looked peaceful even when Ruby pestered him with questions. That had to mean he was completely comfortable with her, right? Just a few a weeks ago and even up until today, Everett had been scared to be near the blonde girl. Ruby chose to sit next to him during lectures on purpose. At first it would out of spite, but as time marched on she enjoyed it herself.  Another millions of little thoughts cycle in and out of her head as she took in his features while he laid in such a vulnerable position. "Hm, I'd say it's the opposite. Probably 51% devil and 49% angel, you just happen to be on good end of things.." her voice trails off, getting quieter, before she proceeds. "These days." The beginning of a giggle catching in her throat as she tries to remain quiet in the calm environment of the shop. Everett's eyes were opened now, beckoning Ruby to switch opposites with him. It was her turn to be in a exposed manner as he proceeded with the question game. She holds his gaze, as she slowly slumped down into the couch and her lashes met each other. The darkness  greets her and she feels the nerves in her stomach increasing. What would he ask her? It was in his court now. If only he knew what real crazy things she'd been up to. "A girl can't reveal all her secrets." Her top teeth find her bottom lip before she makes her admission. "Maybe trying to kiss my TA? He was so mad, as you could imagine."

[everett howe]

How much could you really know someone if you were both hiding behind your masks? Maybe he was a fool to think he knew Ruby at all. It wasn’t out of the question for a skeptic like him, even after the dust had settled from their little spat. It was, however, the first time he hoped he would be wrong. She had simply encouraged him to open up and shelf his assumptions, Everett learning to separate himself from his work. Away from all this, stripped down to the values and character, he had an idea of who Ruby truly was—for himself, he couldn’t say the same yet. As much as he worried about her understanding that about him, it was more painful to acknowledge it himself. Now that her eyes were closed, he could look at her without hesitation. His gaze traveled the curve of her nose, the camber of her cheek, the perk of her lips. He could study the colorful paint on her nails, the glints of jewelry, the swooping locks framing her serene face. At first she was cheeky but she finally thought of something to share. “Wow, yeah.. That is a pretty crazy thing to do,” he said, distracted, as if he hadn’t been the very one. Despite her lighter weight, he felt as if he was tipping toward her, their knees brushing in passing. His heart galloped in his ear, trying to borrow the bravery that had come with having his eyes closed before. “Do you… think you would ever try that again?”

[ruby anderson]

"Mhm. He's really cute though, so can't blame a girl for trying," she bravely replies, unaware of how he'd take her light flirting. The last time they've slowly traced the line had been when Everett was away. And that consisted of a few text messages. It should be the opposite given that one of her senses was altered, but the confidence she felt rolled off her tongue with her last reply. Maybe it did help having the image of him rejecting her, hidden from plain sight. Ruby could dream and or imagine in her own mind the reaction she wished he would give her.  Getting to know Everett for the last month or so thrilled the young blonde. In this moment though, he was surprising her. He seemed to be a creature of habit; focused on school and following a routine. Was he letting more of his guard down? His knee brushes hers and she almost breaks the game to open her eyes. Instead she squeezes them tighter, so she'd not be so tempted. His body shifted more beside her, Ruby felt the movement of the couch cushion she was rested on. It was his last question that caused her stomach to twist even further. "Can I ask a question for my answer?" Ruby doesn't give him a chance to respond, before she speaks again. "Does he want me to kiss him?"

[everett howe]

In attempting to adapt himself to this secret place, forgoing his title as TA and forbidding the topic of chemistry, Everett found that the hard edges of rules exerted less pressure. If they were pretending, after all, and closing their eyes like children playing hide and seek, he felt a quiescent version of reality settling around them and granting them escape. For a moment her lashes flutter and he fears the magic will be broken, that somehow he can only be this way when she isn’t watching. That it’s her gaze under which he crumbles. Everett feels his throat tighten with a gulp, arm stretching across the couch’s back behind Ruby to steady himself. She deflects his question with an even weightier one, doubling the impact and passing it to him. Already once before he admitted to wanting this, to finding her tempting—was that really something to ignore, let alone undo? “That’s two questions,” he teased, a breathy laugh in her direction. His silly little heartbeat continued its flutter, wishing he could blame the coffee but knowing full well it was the blonde. “He does,” he answered, finally. This is ridiculous, was his knee-jerk reaction; why was he referencing himself in the third person? “I really do,” he breathed, brushing a finger against her chin, ready for her to open her eyes. If he didn’t do it now, he wasn’t sure he ever would.

[ruby anderson]

A sarcastic chuckle leaves her mouth  when he corrects her, that she did in fact ask two questions. Once they crossed this line, there was no going back. Or it could be one kiss and they left it at that. What would kissing him be like? She's not ashamed to say she's had this thought numerous times. Ruby's heart pounded loudly in her chest and echoed to her ears when Everett confesses he wants Ruby to kiss him. Did she open her eyes? The magic would be gone if she did, she feels but desperately wants to open them. No one really kissed with their eyes open, but she wanted to see if desire flooded Everett's features. To know if he wanted this just as badly as she did. Part of Ruby was scared to see, worried that once she again he'd insulting her. Until Everett's finger lightly brushed her chin. With that simple gesture, she slowly allows for her bright blue eyes to open and end their game of closed eye questions. She blinks a few times, and takes in Everett's much closer proximity. His arm was draped across the top of the couch, the smell of his cologne drifting through her nose. "I want to kiss you too." Ruby could feel his eyes watching her intently, as she finally makes direct eye contact with him. "I'll go half way, but you have to do the rest." The dare slips off her tongue as she leans her own body into his. Their knees were touching and her thigh was gently pressed against his. "Don't think I could handle any more rejection from you..." her voice trails off as she looks down to his lips that were centimeters away. "So kiss me, Everett."

[everett howe]

They both knew it was there all along, lurking underneath. The tension had been palpable that day in his office, perforating their meetings ever since with underlying flirtation and a push toward what felt like an inevitable. Maybe that’s all he had been doing—prolonging the inevitable, trying to bide time before they really did something they couldn’t return from. At first it had been simpler to fault her with it all, but the truth was, he wanted it just as badly; he simply refused to let it on, and now it had been built into something beyond containment. It was happening regardless, all he could do was lean into it, surrender, and accept his participation was just as meaningful, to be sealed with a kiss. Her eyelids slowly part and they’re seeing each other again. His gaze darts between her eyes and those moving lips, her admission solid and damning. To back out now would break her heart, forsake his conscience and shatter any kind of friendship (or otherwise) between them. To pursue this was an admission of everything he had wanted to deny…that there was something here, that he was fallible, that she had power over him. So he presses into her, hand gently cupping her face as they finally kissed. The floodgates had opened, his blood surging with the revelation of this new reality, forgetting all about school and the rest of this cafe.

[ruby anderson]

Even with their faces and lips so close together, Ruby wondered if this was actually happening. Everett's breath was warm against her cheek. Ruby thought of the previous time they'd been in a position such as this. They'd not been as close nor had they really even known each other. She'd been confident that he was attracted to her, but soon left stranded in that opinion when he'd surprised her by essentially saying no. Would this be the same? Would Everett get Ruby in a compromising only to throw it in her face?  She's proven wrong when he breaks the little space between them and presses his lips and body against hers. She hadn't realized how on guard she'd been, for with the simpleness of a kiss she felt her body relax. Almost as if melting into his touch. Ruby loved the way his hands caressed her cheek, pulling her in further to him. Finally, is the only thought going through her brain besides the fact that she enjoyed kissing him. She takes the initiative to deepen the kiss, forgetting their surroundings. One of her arms snakes around waist, up to his back. Minutes pass by and she's lost in the embrace. Brought back to reality by hearing someone else's voice mumble 'oh, so sorry' and she pulls apart from Everett.

[everett howe]

All the tension left his body as their lips met each other for the first time, what had felt like weeks of waiting, gathering, building. And with their eyes closed again, he was returned to their world of pretend. Here they were simple patrons of a neighborhood café, unbound by rules or technicalities, enjoying one another’s company as their friendship shifted into something more. Even if he tried, he couldn’t begin to fathom what would happen after this; he was so gluttonous for the moment that he refused to let it be overshadowed by the looming of the inevitable. Instead he feels the heat of Ruby beneath his touch, the feel of her lips moving against his, the breathy little sighs between them. Intoxicated by the combination of her perfume and the blend of the taste of lip gloss and coffee on her tongue, subdued by the pressure of her hand on his back pulling him closer. His thoughts flutter to her, now learning more about her in this new way: how she felt, how she kissed, how she loved. It wasn’t a side Everett ever thought he would be privy to, sacred and secret as this café of hers. But finally, begrudgingly, they are forced apart by the inconvenience of a clumsy stranger. Everett slowly drifted from the blonde, embarrassed to be caught essentially making out in public. He’s flustered at the death of the moment, running a hand through his hair as he scrambled for the words, an apology being his first instinct. “I-I don’t know what’s gotten into me,” he laughed, bashful, his lips still tingling. Blue gaze made its way up to hers, worried of what he might find on her features. Regret? Anger? “I um…” he started before his watch started chiming with an alarm. “Shit,” he muttered, remembering. “I have to go back to the lab,” he said, moving for his belongings. “Do we need to talk about this?” he wondered, standing now, sliding an arm into his jacket.

[ruby anderson]

The come down happens the minute their lips break apart. A stranger ruining their moment by merely walking through a public bookstore. Everett's demeanor changes from the fun, goofy guy to one of almost embarrassment. As if this wasn't something he typically did, something that Ruby knew to be true. His body bounces immediately off of the couch, words flying out of his mouth at a hundred miles minute. A flustered red tone touches his cheeks as Ruby finally glances to him, her eyes had been anywhere but connected to his. The emotions aren't heavy on her face, but inside she's burning with anger. Not at kissing him, but at the fact he's mortified to have been caught kissing Ruby in public. Her blue eyes move with his actions, following every step he takes to pack up the belongings on the table. Were these excuses? What did she believe? She wishes to drop her mouth open, give him a shocked look at the stereotypical 'do we have to talk' type of question. "Don't worry about it," her tone flat as she answers him. The typical Everett worry - Ruby was his student and they'd crossed the boundary he'd made weeks ago. "I'll talk to you later." She ends the discussion by putting in both ear buds that were laying beside her.

[everett howe]

Like sobriety settling in after a long night, Everett was able to examine what had just happened with jarring clarity. He had just kissed a student! In public! The professional line was long gone and buried in the sand. While his senses sang vibrantly with having just been kissed, his thoughts gained sharp edges and shredded the flimsy veneer he had allowed this place to cast over them. This time, his first instinct was not to doubt her intentions but instead to scrutinize himself, adopting the inner dialog of judgmental parents and disapproving faculty just waiting to catch him. His worst ideas gained feet and began running: them being caught, her being reprimanded, him being expelled. But the alarm is real, Everett’s watch vibrating against his wrist. He looks to it and then to Ruby, as if a choice; stay with her and understand why the mood had suddenly shifted (something he was never good at), or obediently resume his responsibilities like nothing had happened. He knew which one was familiar (the latter) and which would be uncomfortable (the former), simultaneously worried by her flattened tone but also the impending consequences of him casting off his duties—those he had already abandoned coming here with her. He wavers in front of her, torn between reaching out and avoiding this altogether. “See you later,” he mouthed to the blonde, her music already loud in her ears to drown him out as his eyes fell and he made his exit.