. enthalpy

[everett howe]

For three hours Everett stood in front of an audience of undergrads in Professor Angelo’s place. The walls of the lecture hall rang with his voice, detailing the fundamental chemical bonds. While he felt at home presenting in front of a classroom, he couldn’t help the shake the pull of one particular pair of eyes in the crowd. Scrolling through the lecture slides, calling on hands raised with questions, and improvising with his own anecdotes, Everett watched the hour hands tick down to the class end, finally, as the afternoon took hold of the sky outside. Dismissing the students and packing up his equipment, Everett heard the murmur of footsteps and Friday chatter as everyone fled to freedom, even Ruby. Inside his pocket, his phone buzzed with a message. R: Are we still on for later? E: I might have to cancel. I need some coffee. R: I have an idea! We should celebrate!! A short while later, she sent her location: her secret place, the coffee shop bookstore. Back in his office Everett stared at the screen, his hunger and tiredness competing to fog his mind. It was risky, but didn’t he deserve some fun? After all, he already had the time blocked off and dedicated to her. Locking up his bag and office behind him, Everett caught a cab to the address and stepped through the front doors, immediately warmed by the scent of coffee and pastries. He ordered something and scanned for the blonde, settling in the armchair across from her. “Hey,” he greeted, a weak smile on his lips fighting for energy. “How’d I do?”

[ruby anderson]

It's Everett, thank god is the first thought she has as she settled into the lecture hall seating. The last encounter that she had with Professor Angelo was unforgettable. Said night ended in tears, and left her sitting alone on a cold bathroom floor, wondering why she had to make such stupid mistakes. Seeing the teacher's assistant, whom she now deemed, a 'friend' get situated at the podium made the panic she felt moments ago evaporate. It was Friday and the class' energy seemed like a combination of excitement and little motivation. Ruby's blue eyes were trained on him, only occasionally looking over at Mirren seated beside her. To anyone else, it would just have appeared that Ruby was paying close attention to the lecture. But her thoughts were anything but chemistry. The class is dismissed and she knows exactly where she wants to spend a few of her free hours. Her secret hideout. Coffee was a necessity the moment she entered the building. She's greeted with a smile from the usual barista behind the counter. They exchange a few words before Ruby makes her way to a familiar corner of the shop. Fishing through her backpack, she makes contact with the case of headphones. Taking a sip of the iced coffee, she puts one headphone in her ear. She messages Everett to confirm that they were still on track for a study session later on in the day. Disappointment fills her upon reading that he was most likely going to cancel due to his need of caffeine. The drink in front of her gives her the idea and she throws an invitation his way, as well as her location. After that she's focused, her laptop filled with an economics powerpoint and the notebook associated for that class. At some point Ruby put both of the headphones in and it's the movement in front of her that alerts her that Everett's arrived. "Oh. Hi." Her headphones immediately placed back into their case. "You did great!" She beams, honestly at the man sitting across from her. "Were you nervous?" Ruby wouldn't have been able to tell if he had been. She takes another sip from the straw. "I wasn't sure if you were going to come... But welcome to my secret place," she motions around to the bookshelves that surrounded them. "Don't forget you were sworn to secrecy about this place."

[everett howe]

It’s the first time he has seen Ruby outside of campus, he realizes; they are away from the bounds of a classroom or his office. And it’s probably a terrible idea, his conscience would shout, if it weren’t so worn down by the hours of lecturing he’d just done. That, and their conversation from while he was away at the conference was still on his mind, reminding them both that they could only be friends. His responsibility to the integrity of the job trumped any desire. The end of the semester, when they would be free from the rules of his position, was still months away. By then, maybe the intrigue of this would wear off. Perhaps that’s all this was, and it would be gone in the same flash as it had happened. Everett’s eyes drifted across the coffee shop, drinking in this secret place of hers. The ambiance was quaint, the music soothing, the décor nostalgic. Her praise registers in his ears, sweet and gratifying to hear from her. “Thank you,” he said, happy to finally lay eyes on her now that he could. At her innocent question he laughed softly, shaking his head no. “I’ve given a lot of presentations over the years. The nerves go away eventually,” he answered, spinning the coffee cup in his warming palms. Whether he was used to presenting in front of someone he was so acutely aware of—that was a different story. “Oh, right, I guess this is a celebration,” he remembered, extending his cup in a gesture of cheers before the opportunity could elude them. “Thank you for having me in your lovely secret café,” he smiled before taking a long-needed sip, pretending the other patrons didn't exist in this space of hers. "I hope you didn't want to study here. I'm done talking about chemistry for the day, if you can believe it."

[ruby anderson]

He was the first person that Ruby had invited into her own little personal space. Mirren didn't even know about the hidden gem the blonde girl had found one random day. Though Mirren had Ruby's location and probably saw that she spent a lot of her free time here. It was a good escape for anyone, really. For someone who'd felt lost lately and on a downward spiral, Ruby held this place close to her heart. It was where she could be herself without anyone watching. Once she opened up the door to the little shop, her mask was peeled off and she felt almost like the old Ruby. Maybe that's why she allowed Everett to know that it existed. He wasn't aware of all the things she'd done, or the person she had transformed in to over the last few years. This was wrong on many levels, having a crush on a TA. But she'd done something so wrong before, with Professor Angelo. This..was different to her. Everett appeared to be a rule follower, the opposite of Ruby. He reiterated on several occasions that they could only be friends. Ruby smiles seeing that he'd treated himself to a cup of coffee from the secret cafe. It wasn't Starbucks or a fancy coffee joint by any means, but that's what made it special. "I didn't know if you got nervous still! But yes you did great. I would rate you 5 stars on Rate My Professor," she teases the handsome man seated across from her. Ruby had been watching him all day, in an environment he was more comfortable with. Now that he was out of his element of the lecture hall and office hours, she shamelessly looks him over again. He lifts his coffee cup to her, reminding Ruby of the reason to celebrate. Finally a good grade for her, in regards to chemistry. "Cheers," she grins and clinks her iced coffee against his warm. She always chose to sit in this corner, away from many patrons who preferred to be closer to the coffee. Her eyebrows raise as he admits he's done talking about chemistry for the day. "What. Wow. Are you okay?" She's dramatic this time with her teasing manner. Ruby  was shocked but also happy that they could talk about something else. "So let's proceed with our weekly questions then." Ruby shuts her laptop, crossing her arms over its  closed top. "You first, Everett."

[everett howe]

If Everett took inventory of the places he frequented, it would be no surprise to find that they were all school- and work-related. If he wasn’t on campus then he was at home, with not much else in between. Ruby having a place like this—somewhere to disappear to and call her own for a few hours—was one of the many little things about her that he admired. Other members of his cohort could manage a work-life balance, but Everett was among the few who opted out of such distractions, nose steady to the grindstone. Ever since their first encounter in office hours, Ruby had inspired him to practice the idea of flexibility over the last few weeks—and he was surprised to see it had only made things better around him. Although his work wasn’t suffering, the highs of seeing her were contrasted by the lows of worrying about their predicament, trying to pretend he wasn’t as rattled as he felt. Personally, he felt better; professionally, he felt wary. Shifting out of his coat, Everett allowed himself to get more comfortable, loosened by the events of the morning and now at ease in Ruby’s presence. At least this way they didn’t have to worry about being interrupted in his office, and the chances of being seen by her classmates here were low if it truly was her secret place. She feigns shock at his disclaimer, Everett playfully waving her off. “I’m better now,” he said, laced with private double-meaning as he nursed his coffee, the energy returning with each sip as he sank pleasantly into the leather of the chair. “Right back to business I see,” he teased, biting into a muffin. They had just seen each other yesterday during office hours, Ruby still adamantly slipping in her personal questions. They’d talked about music and movies and their favorite random things, passing time between chemistry questions until the hour was up. “I don’t know, how about.. If you could have a superpower, what would it be?”

[ruby anderson]

Ruby wouldn't tell him of the fact that she was envious of Everett.  She loved his drive towards a goal. That's what she was jealous of, he knew what he wanted. Even if she questioned that chemistry was a way of life. Ruby struggled with not knowing what she wanted, a huge aspect of why she's let herself spiral further and further down. She could tell that her presence in his life was changing things for him. He was adamant of them being only friends, yet they found themselves talking more and more out of study sessions. He met all of Ruby's curious questions with feigned annoyance, she knew he secretly loved them as much as she did.  Ruby quickly moved some of her belongings out of the way to allow him to become more comfortable. Not realizing that her notebook had made its way completely across the table. She unzips her backpack to stuff the notebook into the depths, especially if they were tabling all studies for the day. She smiles at his playful wave before she takes another sip of the delightful coffee. "Is the coffee saving you?" She murmurs and gestures to the seemingly tight grip he had on the cup. Ruby noticed he grabbed a pastry as well, further improving the slight grin on her face. "The muffin was a good choice, by the way. I had one before you got here." Their variety of sweets saved her a lot of time in between classes, even if they were not apart of the on campus dining. She had a little fund of money for such things. There he was commenting about her millions of questions. "You like this game, just admit it," she beckons him, mostly to have the satisfaction of knowing that she was learning to read him well. "Hmm, I think it would be telepathy, or maybe teleporting," she replies after a few minutes of thinking. "Where do you think you'll go after grad school?"

[everett howe]

Not only was Everett learning about Ruby, but he was learning from the girl too. Her high energy and good moods were almost contagious, enough to have him crack a smile during lecture (since she had taken to sitting near him permanently) or approach a problem with a refreshed mindset. He had become familiar with her understanding level as well as her character. If anyone would have told him that he would end up taking a liking to one of the undergrads, he would have called them crazy. He struggled to parse between his feelings and navigating these foreign waters, not used to capturing the attention of a girl like her. This class was supposed to be a bore, a black mark in his schedule that he begrudgingly honored—now it was anything but that. It was also turning into an interesting mystery as he discovered more about Dr. Angelo. His eyes linger on hers briefly, taking in the features he had come to know so well. This was approximately the safe distance between them; any closer was asking for trouble again. “After three hours of talking to a room, yeah it helps,” he nodded in response to her question, trying to pace his enjoyment of the coffee. It was already his second (or third?) of the day. “I’m not admitting to any more,” he laughed, rolling his eyes. Last time that happened, he was confessing his attraction to her from a hotel bar in New Orleans. He considered her answers to his question, about to press for more when she asked about his plans after grad school. More serious than he anticipated. “When I’m done here, I’ll apply for a postdoc position…” he started, realizing his grad school lingo might not make sense to her. But academia was all he knew. “Basically a few more years of research and teaching before I do it on my own,” he clarified, trying not to sound condescending. He would be another Dr. Howe in a long line of scholars and scientists, footprints leading back to San Diego. Of more interest to him: “What about after college for you?”

[ruby anderson]

She'd never been much of a coffee drinker until she started at NYU. Ruby discovered the wonders of good coffee, not just plain black and it changed her opinion on the strong drink. Oh and started to cost just a little bit more too. Ruby looks to Everett as he speaks about how much caffeine helped after lecturing for nearly three hours. She wonders what is actually on his mind. Is he somehow still thinking about the lecture? Was he worried about being spotted with his student? Did he even want to come here? She keeps collected in front of most, while the insecurities swirl heavily in the back of her mind. Her confidence was impeccable on most days, just deep within her did certain people's thoughts truly affect her. He was one of them. She wasn't sure when he became one of those people, but his opinion did matter to her. Maybe it was their little conversations and his tipsy confession on being attracted to her. One that she reciprocated.  "So basically more schooling?" Ruby questions as she tries to process all of the language of his graduate school life, most of it hard for her to comprehend. Even the thought alone of more school made her uneasy. "Does it ever become too much for you?" She's surprised herself as the serious question slips off of her tongue. "Wow. Sorry for the deep question after your brain is most likely fried from your lecture." The coffee in front of her is finished off and she contemplates getting another. He asks his next question and she slumps back into the chair. "I'm still figuring that out," she responds honestly. The million door question, what did she want to do. "I do love living around here though, so I know I'll stay close by."

[everett howe]

As practiced as he is fielding these types of questions, dutifully answering in his parents’ words, it is a surprise from Ruby right away. “Starting off hot,” he laughed, but waving it off so she wouldn’t worry herself. She tended to throw him curve ball questions like that, keeping him on his toes. But with her, his grip loosened on the script that everyone else knew—she didn’t have the same expectations as his colleagues or faculty, he could tell her anything without the fear of judgment or sabotage. “Sort of, but it’s like really taking the training wheels off,” he answered, realizing how rare it was he had to describe or define these things to someone. Everyone around him was immersed in academia, it was simply known. “It’s an intermediate step between me and Dr. Angelo, for example,” he clarified further, more jargon and details she probably wasn’t interested in. Was it ever too much? Now that was a question he didn’t expect. His brow furrowed briefly, feeling the quick instinct to deny and suppress the very possibility. To forget that he had been on medication for years to deal with depression and anxiety, that sometimes he wished he could be like Ruby: not knowing every next step, being able to choose her own path. With a scrupulous smile and cheerful tone, convince her that it was everything he ever wanted, that he could never imagine anything else. “Sometimes, I guess,” he answered instead, scratching the back of his head. “But it’s all I know. You just get used to it and keep going,” he added, realizing the strange gravity of such an answer. “You don't have to know yet. You can do a lot of things,” he thought to say; what he wished for himself. “Do you need another?” he deflected, gesturing at her emptied cup echoing with ice.

[ruby anderson]

“You know I’m the best at firing off these questions fast,” Ruby replies, nonchalantly and throws a smirk in his direction. She listens to him speak about the schooling, the expectations and what is left until he would be finished. It bothers Ruby hearing Everett murmur the name Professor Angelo. It sends a shiver down her spine and she pulls her arms which were crossed further into her body. There’s a window near by and if he asked if she was cold, she’d blame it on a draft. A part of Ruby wonders if Everett did all of this to please his family. If so, she could relate more than he knew. The first part of her life all she wanted to do was make her mother happy. Ruby nods her head as he speaks about the path he was on. She tilts her head a little bit to study him more, especially when he speaks about his supposed passion. Her blue eyes fall down when he reminds her that it’s okay to not have it all together. For once Ruby chooses to be quiet, processing all of his words. It was so easy for him to say, when he seemed to always know what to do with life. Everett gestures to her coffee, offering her a refill and she gives me a simple nod. He stands up from the table and Ruby finds her voice again. “Thank you. And you’re not off the hook, you still have a question to ask when you get back,” she softly reminds him as he walks back to the coffee counter.

[everett howe]

To Everett, Ruby’s brazen candor was a marvel. She asked her questions without hesitation or apology, led only by her curiosity, genuine and innocent as it was. Although he had doubted her intentions at one point—for which he had apologized and now preferred to forget—he never sensed any malice behind them. Likely a side effect of a cutthroat field and his general difficulty with interpersonal relationships outside of school, Everett had taken some time to warm up to her. Now, she was like a bright spot in the classroom, a student yet untarnished by the ugliness of academia. A breath of fresh air, a small pocket of the outside world. At the chance to reset himself, he made his way to the counter and ordered her a replacement. Several new patrons had filed in, their murmurs cluttering the entryway just within earshot. When Everett returned, he moved to the seat next to her on the couch, pausing briefly in a silent request for permission before handing her the refill. “If I buy it then it’s not a bribe,” he reasoned with a grin, still thinking about the rules and optics of this impromptu meeting (hangout?) of theirs. As for a question, he had a few minutes to think about it while he waited at the counter. “It’s hard to compete with these questions. How serious do you want—what’s the meaning of life? Do you believe in God or aliens?” he laughed, making himself comfortable again, attention saturated by her again and ignoring the rest of the cafe.

[ruby anderson]

Whatever this was between she and Everett, felt nice. Refreshing, more like it. He took her directness, a little fazed by it at first but he responded to everything she asked. The best was when he became brave enough to start asking more personal questions. Every so often he surprised Ruby with those types of questions. She wondered if they would ever get close to teetering the line, just as they had done over text and the day in his office. For now, he typically sat far away from her but still played the same game. Ruby stretches out and checks some of the notifications that were hidden from the lock screen of her phone. She'd made her watch on 'do not disturb' when she first made her way to the hidden table. Her eyes snap up when Everett returns and watches as he moves closer to her. She sees the question in his eyes and she nods her head, accepting his invitation into her personal space. This was the closest that they'd been since that beloved day in his office. "Not a bribe, I know," she chuckles as he settles in next to her. "Thank you." She takes a small sip before setting it back down on the table. Ruby laughs at the ridiculous questions he proposes. She shakes her head and fills her face with a look of annoyance. "Maybe. And definitely yes," she entertains them with an eye roll. "But those were such bad questions." Ruby bites her bottom lip as she thinks of another question. "Is it weird for you to be here with me and us not talking about chemistry?"

[everett howe]

There was something special about her invitation to this place, a discovery from a recent conversation. Aside from an empty lab where he could enjoy himself alone, Everett didn’t have a place like this to share with her. It made him curious what she was like outside of school, although he was beginning to gather an image after learning so much about her. He knew some of her hobbies, her tastes, her background; it was vulnerable but exhilarating to realize she could say the same of him. She occasionally breached the surface and asked him a question that struck him, and eventually she could chip away at the walls surrounding the dark, tender core of him. On the couch next to her, Everett was pleased to be able to hear her better over the ebb and flow of noise. She answered his silly questions and rightfully called them out at such. “Sorry Ruby,” he laughed, swirling the remaining half of his coffee, “my brain is fried.” He watched her teeth sink into her lip, too aware of the color of her gloss. She was quick with another question, gaining speed against his thoughts. “Honestly?” he prompted, happily closing his eyes for a moment and relishing a long, sweet breath. “No. It feels really nice. I appreciate it,” he murmured, leaning back with his hands laced together behind his head. “Is it weird for you?” he returned, navy gaze chancing at hers. “And would you be mad if I rested my eyes?” he chuckled, only a little serious as the caffeine seeped through his blood.

[ruby anderson]

Ruby liked that their friendship could be kept a secret. Not that she wanted it to be, per se but it held an excitement. It was something that at the moment was not tarnished by her touch. So maany other things in her life were falling apart but he was a constant at the moment. Everett might not have even felt the same way about this blossoming friendship or whatever this was, though a huge part of her hoped he looked forward to their interactions. “It’s fine,” she waves him off as he apologizes for the silly questions. He had to be exhausted, she thought as he slumped further into the couch. Her pulse slowly quickened as he made himself comfortable beside her. Ruby suddenly felt warmer, more aware of her ever growing attraction towards Everett and took a larger gulp of the ice cold coffee. She was aware she was probably the only person in the shop that had ordered a drink that resembled the weather outside. Respect his boundaries, he said he can only be your friend. She repeated those words three times in her head before she could glance his direction again. Ruby tries hides the biggest grin, but her expressions were typically so outrageous. Her excitement obvious on her features. Especially when he muttered the words that he enjoys spending time with her. “Not at all. I really like it too,” she agrees, almost too quickly after he speaks. His hands were laced behind his head and she could see the tired look upon his handsome face. “Seriously, it’s okay. Just close your eyes. I’ll wake you up if you’re snoring! Can't have them mad at me for bringing you,” Ruby teases him as she reaches again for the headphone case in the depths of her backpack. “I’ll put my head phones in and even be quiet.”

[everett howe]

In seeking shelter from the outside noise, Everett realized it came at the cost of that forbidden proximity. She was close enough that he could reach over and touch her, if he wanted to; he felt her weight on the next cushion over, smelled the fragrance of her lotion, heard the sound of her lips parting before she spoke. His early morning and impromptu lecturing had thrown him off, worn at the strict lines he was supposed to be enforcing. But suddenly they were here, lifted briefly from the pressures of school, acting rather as friends than convenient necessity. He couldn’t remember the last time he had done this with someone, let alone a beautiful girl. “Are you sure? It sounds like you really want to study,” he teased, so accustomed to seeing her with a spread of books and screens when they reviewed material together. Whether it was her or the coffee, Everett felt strangely playful. “I might make you fall in love with chemistry and change your major,” he chuckled. While it was unfathomable, she continued to surprise him—he had promised not to lead with his assumptions. But at the suggestion of leaving him to rest, he shook his head. “I’m just closing my eyes,” he assured, not sure if he was allowing her the chance to really look him over or if it helped to keep himself from staring at her. “You can ask me anything while my eyes are closed, it’s a rule I just made up,” he smirked, vision still dark.