aaron x samira

[aaron eklund]

Aaron Nothing, you didn't do anything wrong. I don't know what I'm supposed to ask. Was it good? Did you find anything?

[samira deol]

Sami It vaguely feels like it. What do you actually want to ask? I said it was all overwhelming and we'd have to think before we made any decisions.

[aaron eklund]

Aaron I don't mean for that. It's not you. I'd rather ask how you are, if you're ok.

[samira deol]

Sami I'm fine - I wasn't expecting it either and it does feel like a complicated thing to talk about with you.

[aaron eklund]

Aaron Yeah I get it. And you don't have to. Just felt like I had a boulder in my stomach all weekend. Made me think we should check in.

[samira deol]

Sami I just don't know what would delineate an update to you. Obviously something like that, yes, but...it wasn't exactly part of my plan. To be honest, I don't even know if I have a plan..

[aaron eklund]

Aaron I know. And I know I said I didn't want to pressure you. Look, I guess I just need some reassurance.

[samira deol]

Sami I'm not backing out on what we said, Aaron. But we also said there's not like...a playbook to do this. And candidly it's been four months and I still think there's things even we're still catching up on with all our missed time.

[aaron eklund]

Aaron I got chewed out by my therapist. I finally told her what's been happening. She asked me if I'm confident that you know what has to happen for us to be together. And if you want to be with me. Explicitly, those words. Not me guessin or assumin, even though she knows actions mean more to me than words.

[samira deol]

Sami And what was your answer?

[aaron eklund]

Aaron I said I wasn't sure. We haven't explicitly said those things.

[samira deol]

Sami Do you think I'm leading you on?

[aaron eklund]

Aaron No. I'm not entitled, you're not obligated, and you can change your mind anytime. But this hole's gonna get dug deeper.

[samira deol]

Sami The tough thing you have to do in this is wait and hope, Aaron. Not dismantle a household, not end an engagement, not find a new place to live, not let down your family, not likely have to change jobs. The hole has been increasing since you were gone - but if it's going to be too much to watch me figure out how to climb out from it, then I don't know what I can say.

[aaron eklund]

Aaron What do you need from me? What can I do? Feels like I'm just fuckin up your life.