GARDNER, Jessica M.

[jessica gardner]

ONE CALL AWAY MOTHER & DAUGHTER

"Mom..I'm so sorry for calling so late there..I just..Joey and I are getting. I can't even believe I'm saying this I'm..I'm. We're ending things..I don't even. Know what to say really.. I thought things were better, you know? We'd been going to counseling. He was actually participating in therapy? I have to come home, Mom. I can't stay here. Corinne has been nice enough to let me stay with her while we've been..working things out. Sorry for lying to you about that, by the way. We haven't been living together for some time now. But I can't be here anymore. I have to leave Chicago.  Could I come back and live with you and dad? I promise I won't be there for long..just until I figure out what I'm going to do..get back on my feet.  Call me in the morning, okay? I'm fine. I'm not but I'm safe. Staying at Corinne's like I said. I love you so much."

LIFE IN THE MIDWEST NEW YORK to INDIANA She grew up listening to the stories of Melissa attending Indiana University. Gushing about the sorority house, the basketball team, fun tailgates, formals, and more. It seemed like a no brainer when it came to applying to college, to follow in the footsteps of her mother. Who while had the best time going to school in the Midwest, escaped the cornfields to flourish in the Big Apple.  There Melissa was introduced to Barry who was a New York native. The two took their time with their relationship. Loving the single life style that New York offered, but always find their ways back to one another. It was a push and pul, until eventually they couldn't deny it anymore. Not only did they love the city, but they loved each other. They married in St. Patrick's Cathedral. Included in their vows (which made the entire crowd laugh, with tears in their eyes) was the promise to never leave New York.  So Jessica applied her senior year of high school, to the infamous Indiana University. Funny it was infamous in their household, but if you asked any one else in the city they'd have no idea what you were talking about. Barry shaking his head, whenever his wife had stars in her eyes, speaking on her early years, pre-meeting him. Getting accepted, much to her mother's delight, the Gardner family moved their only child to the middle of the country. And there Jess completed every thing that her mother spoke of, right down to becoming a member of her same sorority, a legacy.  What her parents didn't expect though? For her not to return to New York after her four years at IU. Their daughter choosing to stay with the supposed love of her life, in the windy city.  MR. & MRS. RHODES HAPPILY NEVER AFTER  Joseph 'Joey' Dalton Rhodes. We met three days after I moved into my dorm. We lived in a co-ed dorm, the floors were divided by gender. He happened to know a few of the girls on my floor from high school. Apparently, they would be known as Region Rats? It's a northwestern Indiana thing, I wouldn't be able to escape until after I moved back to New York. I had a boyfriend before I left for college, but we decided what sort of relationship could last with me being so far away? We'd each have temptations, I wanted a fresh start. Though I didn't expect to meet Joey..so soon and so fast. It started out as a great friendship, that progressed to him spending every weekend night in my twin bed. Nothing even happening, until one day it changed. Our relationship was fun, the banter impeccable. He made me laugh like no one ever had. He said he loved the way that my nose scrunched when I laughed, wanted to see it forever. I was so smitten, he came home with me for Christmas. I went to Chicago over Thanksgiving. Smitten was what all my friend's described me. He  came home with me for Christmas. I always wanted to return home to New York..but suddenly, Joey was speaking of Chicago and that sounded nice?  Being with him, starting a life together...we were perfect. Then we weren't. We got married right after college. It seemed like the thing to do? Or so everyone told me. More so expected of me. People had begun asking Joey our junior year of college when he was planning to propose. I didn't think he was serious, but then one day he planned a special surprise for me. I watched speechless as he got down on one knee two months into our senior year, right outside the dormitory we met in. After we finished at IU, we went north to the only city Joey ever knew. Looking back, he never even asked me if I wanted to go anywhere else. I was just expected to follow him, and I did. Wedding planning while going to graduate school, I don't recommend, ok? Becoming a therapist required a little more schooling for me, luckily all online courses. So I could enjoy discovering my new city and continuing the fun Joey and I always had together. Our wedding was amazing. Everything seemed normal..like I said..until it wasn't. Two years down the road.  He came to me one night, in tears. Telling me that he kissed some other girl at a work function. I didn't even know what to say, as I watched him cry. Then everything else started to pour out. Joey was confused about his feelings. Unsure if he wanted to be married, but that he loved me so incredibly much to give me up. In the midst of his confession, he asked if we could have an open relationship. My gut screamed no no no no. My therapist brain shut off, before it did though, it spoke to me about how much of a bad idea this was. I asked if we could keep this a secret, not wanting a single one of my friends to know the truth of our marriage. How much of a failure it had become. Joey gave me permission to go on dates, sleep with others and I pretended. Shook to my core that my husband could even want to do something like this. Was it just a phase? Would he snap out of it? Joke was on me, because the unthinkable occurred. My friends found out. Through a lovely Facebook group called 'Are We Dating The Same Guy?...Chicago!!' Daniela messaged me a screenshot of Joey. Various women commenting about how they'd been on dates with him. Two bottles of wine later I was spilling my broken heart and guts to Daniela. I confronted Joey. Who was mortified by the comments. We agreed that something had to change, we even attended therapy. Things were better. Or so I thought. After my night with Daniela I asked for space, retreating to my best friend Corinne's apartment. We'd slowly been repairing our relationship. Dates, even sleeping together again. It was like we were starting over. The worst part? The minute I let myself have those hopeful thoughts... A week later Joey told me that he had gotten one of his girlfriend's pregnant. It was devastating. But it was the final straw, my heart completely numb as I filed for a divorce and fled the city of Chicago.  POST DIVORCE LIFE HELL OF A YEAR - A YEAR IN REVIEW Move back in with your parents. At the age of 26. Begin your revenge body - start running again, you used to love it.  DON'T CUT YOUR HAIR. You contemplate it a few times but eventually decide against it. Thank god. Quit your job. You no longer feel right giving people advice on relationships, life, etc when yours is falling apart. Find a job as a barista at a family owned coffee shop. Promise your parents that you'll eventually go back to your career. (But you won't. Maybe you will even find something else you love). Cut Joey out of all your pictures, burn your wedding album. Delete everything from instagram and facebook. NO ARCHIVING ALLOWED. It needs to be gone so you can't look at it again. Block Joey, his family, friends and anyone that would post about him. Make sure you block his baby mama too, she counts. If you won't you'll probably look at her profile too. Make a dating profile and promise yourself you go on a few dates a month. Begin your hoe phase. THIS OR THAT INTROVERT OR EXTROVERT LEFTY OR RIGHTY SIMPLE OR GLAM RAIN OR SUNSHINE EARLY BIRD OR NIGHT OWL GET EVEN OR GET OVER IT CALLS OR TEXTS SUNRISE OR SUNSET ALWAYS LATE OR ALWAYS EARLY DOG PERSON OR CAT PERSON DREAMER OR REALIST WALKING OR DRIVING i

kayla . isabelle mathers  . resident