leblanc, atlas rose

[atlas leblanc]

atlas rose leblanc ,

full name: Atlas Rose LeBlanc
nicknames: A, Atty
age: 20
birthday: 03/04
education: Columbia University
occupation: Student/Model
marital status: Single
current city: London, England
hometown: Manhattan, New York

parents: Flynn LeBlanc, 48. Charlotte LeBlanc, 43.
siblings: Opal LeBlanc, 23.
other: n/a

west village, new york

LIFE LESSONS & FINAL POST by Atlas LeBlanc

People will never stop disappointing you. They will leave you waiting night after night for the shine of their headlights in your driveway. They will stop calling you to ask for help or to tell you how they love you or to just say hello. They will tell your secrets to strangers. They will fall in love with someone else, forgetting what they promised you.

Lesson #1: People will never stop disappointing you, but you will survive. At least Gloria Gaynor said so!

It is with a heavy super light heart I must write this last blog entry. Yes, last. No, not because we’ve decided to say ‘fuck it’ and give the whole real dating thing a go. We could just stop posting in general, let it be a mystery for whoever the fuck is reading this, but that’s where Cillian and I differ in character and that is why I feel it necessary, deep down inside, to consider someone other than myself here. That said, Twenty Days of Dating has been called quits.

It was fun while it lasted, but if I’m being honest, this was no way to enter any form of a relationship. It was forceful, restricting, and more or less a headfuck. It’s impossible to know and consider your opposite under guidelines and false pretenses.

Lesson #2: You don’t know anybody until you know what they want.

As you will soon notice, Cillian is the newest addition to the team over at Comedy Central, working on the hit shit show South Park. Seeing as this was such a dream to him, he decided to sign over on that offer. And before you begin to think that it was some choice I forced him to make (“omg, me, or South Park!!” or anything along those lines), let it be known that is not the case, and that is not the reason why this is over. It is over because.. I already know I don’t want to be with someone who just quits.

Lesson #3: Don’t go for quitters (or those who can be paid off).

.. ok actually I don’t know why it’s over, and I’m way over this. But it is. Feel free to text Cillian McAllister at [phone] to ask him for his take on it!

Tata! x






















Where to begin is a tough choice, but I guess the beginning makes most sense, so I'll start there.

My mom and dad met while my dad was going to Yale, and my mom was visiting some girlfriends for the weekend. She came from a small town in Connecticut, and I don't think she'd ever dreamt she'd leave. But they began dating, and stayed together through my dad's college years, and once he was set to go back to New York, where he was born and raised, she went with him. She'd never seen a city so big, or so she says. In the beginning she hated it. She knew practically no one, aside from my dad and his side of the family.. which is a joke considering she thinks she runs the place and acts like she was born and raised now. But we'll get there. She eventually learned to love it, and she said that was the day she "let New York win." She met some girlfriends, made herself feel at home here, and had Opal shortly after. She was unplanned, their little pride and joy, which they wouldn't ever take back given the chance.

And things with dad's job got good. He began working at an investment firm beneath the corporate finance manager, and by thirty was a partner. According to him, it's unheard of to have gotten promoted so quickly, especially in the New York rat race, but he did. Work was his life, and he had no problem with it being that way. That I'm sure comes from the Leblanc's, each one as business oriented as the next.. business first, family second, it's all they know. And a few more years later, he thought he could do better than just a partner, and he opened his own private equity firm, Leblanc & co. Since opening, they've completed over $400 billion of private equity transactions. Whatever. The. Fuck. That. Means.

Back to Opal, two years after her.. they had me. As you can see though, dad wasn't around too by that point. Unlike her though, I was planned. My mom was an only child, and she "never wanted another child to experience that kind of life." So the way I look at it, they had me to benefit her.

Like anyone else, I can't remember those first few years well, but the pictures give me quick glimpses. We were well taken care of, at first just by my mom, but eventually a nanny stepped in. Not in the sense that my mom did nothing though, because if anything, she was just there to help her. We traveled the world, had anything we ever wanted handed to us on a silver platter. And so did my mom, she got wrapped up in it a bit, you can say.

By about twelve, which I'd say is pretty young.. I remember things started to go bad, or maybe it was just the first time I really realized it. They fought, a lot.. my mom and dad, over just about anything. I very vividly remember my dad telling her to grow up, and her crying on about how she felt like she'd had kids too young, and we in a way, rid her of the best years of her life. I never told her I heard that, or him, or even Opal for that matter, but I'll never forget it.

From then on out, it got harder and harder to watch her and my dad pretend everything was okay in front of everyone else. They were the quintessential couple, that everyone wanted to be. I even remember him calling her his best asset.. you know, in the sense that he'd bring her to all of his business dinners, and she'd always be the one to "seal the deals." Only I don't think he meant it in the way that I saw it.

I saw my friends and their families, and I so desperately wanted one like that. One where they could sit down for dinner and not have to hear about how the stock market was doing that day, or have a mother so obsessed with outdoing the neighbors addition. It made me sick. To me, there was no real substance. The three of them seemed just fine doing things that way, and there was a three month period before I went to boarding school where I downright refused to speak to any of them. I didn't want to be like that, I refused, so I detached myself from it completely.

There were a million things they thought were wrong with me. I was acting out for attention, according to them. And when talking to the therapists didn't help, they threatened to send me away. I was only fourteen at the time, and I told them I would rather be anywhere but near them, so they did, and it was the best thing to ever happen to me.

God forbid they didn't send their daughter somewhere they could brag about, and write it off as if it were for other reasons, so they chose Le Rosey, in Switzerland. I got in, which didn't surprise anyone. I'd always been smart, at the top of my class, which came without much effort. I suppose you could say I was one of the lucky ones, that literally learned by listening. Anything you'd say to me once, it was forever imbedded. Which isn't too surprising, considering Opal and my dad are exactly the same way.

It was hard at first, being so far from the only home I'd ever known, but before I knew it, it was the most amazing thing. I was away from my family, which was what i had wanted, I didn't have to follow their ways, and do what they asked of me, I could do whatever I wanted, and I think that's always been a big part of my life.

I do a lot of things just because I can.

Repercussions followed every move I made, but they didn't scare me, and I think that became a bit of a problem. The drinking, the smoking, the sex, the pot, the coke, none of it scared me.. and to be fair, it still doesn't. Every experience was a new one, and I began craving new and exciting more often than not. And here I was, fourteen, with pretty much no one telling me what I could and could not do. I let the wilderness of being young and invincible win, just like my mom had let New York win. It began defining me, in a sense. We all have the dark sides, they fuck us over, but we indulge time after time, I do, anyway.

You are what you surround yourself with, and every friend I made at Le Rosey was the same. We would sneak out after curfew, venture off territory to the clubs at night, be with different guys, sometimes share the same guy, where ever the night led us, we knew no limits. I met Ray while I was there. He was different. Anyone I'd ever been with before him was fun, but I had no intentions on having anything with any of them. There was just something about him, and I wanted more and more. He was five years older, and played for the Swiss national football team, so maybe it had to do with that.. it made him unattainable. Even though we were together, no one knew, except for Tasmin, my best friend and roommate back then. He couldn't afford for the press to find out he was fucking a minor. About six months into us dating, I felt like he began trying to change me. He didn't think the going out was fun anymore, and he especially didn't want me to do it without him. The drinking was out of line, as were the lines that went from a weekend ritual to a morning treat. I told him that I'd only ever change if he let us go public, but he refused. I couldn't grasp the concept.. someone so in love with you couldn't just come out with it? So I broke up with him, and sold the story to the press.

That was when my parents realized that Le Rosey didn't make the impact they thought it would. And when I came home for Winter holiday and got arrested, they decided it was all beyond repair. If we want to put it in layman's terms, they gave up. And thank the fucking lord for that.

I went back after that holiday and things were about the same. I swore off monogamous love then and there. I loved a lot of things about a lot of people, and I didn't want to put all of my eggs in one basket like that again. We made the most of the last few years at Le Rosey, and then came time for us to all go back to either where we came from, or where we wanted to be next.

I chose Columbia. Rolle had gotten too small, and I felt as if my work was done there.

That was the first time in five years I'd been with my family for longer than a month period, and not much had changed. Dad was still overly involved in his work, mom still fucking his associates on the side, and Opal.. fucking Opal, already nearly engaged, in med school, the perfect daughter they'd always hoped they'd had. My mom and Opal didn't want to talk to me as much as I didn't want to talk to them. But my dad tried, and I tried back, because at the end of the day.. he's my financial support system. It's cut and dry, hi how are you's, forced I love you's, and that's the strongest bond within the family.

I'd been gone for so long that my freshman year at Columbia was a lot like starting over. Claudia was my first college friend, you could say. She came from a whole other life. Not the best area in Michigan, getting through school on her scholarships and financial aid. We were roommates our freshman year, and had a good group of girls on the floor. We were all different, but alike at the same time, and even through the differences, we meshed well. Anyway, her brother came out with us one weekend, and low and behold, we hit it off.. she'd advised me against that, saying that it would be weird and would inevitably affect our friendship. I told her I'd stay away, but too many drinks later, and I couldn't contain myself. We kept that under wraps for awhile, which is seeming like a recurring theme.. but eventually came out with it. She told us to break up, and we refused. He too was older, only by two years, and had moved to New York too, a Brooklyn boy.

Jonny, he wasn't phased by anything. He didn't care that he was most broke guy at the bar, or that he'd been wearing the same shirt for days.. he didn't care about the tattoos that caused everyone to stop and stare for a second, he didn't care about what anyone else thought. He didn't care that I went to Le Rosey, and he didn't ask if I had any "royal friends." He didn't care that I preferred the coke over coffee or that I'd go to class still strung out from the night before. But Claudia did, so that friendship ended.. and I began staying with him to avoid our room. We got wrapped up in that life, and before I knew it we were doing each other more bad than good. That was the hardest tie to sever, I think because he represented the life I'd wished I had. We still talk from time to time, and I think that's that one love I have that they say you'll never get over.

But I'm trying, even if it is six months later.

And again, I knew I had to do me. So that's what I've been doing ever since. I moved out of the dorms, and into my apartment with Eden, who was the only friend that had my back with the whole Claudia ordeal, she gets me, I get her, it works. We just got back from a month in Europe, but that's a story for another day...

** must update

LEXA, LONDON, SONYA