hidden in plain sight

[dolly weathers]

"Serendipity,” she says, twisting her lips thoughtfully. She'd picked up her phone to text him a few times, but hadn't even gotten a message out. The screen always blinked at her mockingly as she tried to gather her words but never could. She scoops another handful of bubbles, lifts it to her face and blows it at him. "I think you're interesting. Does that make me boring too?” She wonders what they could have said in an imaginary text exchange that could fix things and if fixing it was even possible. "Maybe it's better now that I've exiled myself and been dumped by my fake boyfriend,” she lifts herself from the side of the tub. "Will you close your eyes?”

[theo lovett]

He laughs as bubbles are blown his way, batting them away. "Yes, it does. Sorry." The mention of her fake boyfriend brings up a taste of that familiar bitterness and his mind turns over a question he had always wanted to ask. He fears it won't go down well but it's eating away at him, sitting on the tip of his tongue as it had since the day they broke up. "Sure," he says, lifting a towel from above him and throwing it over his head to give her full privacy. "I can leave if you like, go order us lunch or something." From under his towel fort he just has that one question to ask, easier to do now that he's not looking at her. "Hey Dolly? Did you ever hook up with that guy? For real, I mean."

[dolly weathers]

She grins as he lifts a towel over his head, maybe himself two eye-holes short of a ghost. "No, please don't leave,” there's a desperation to her voice, afraid to be without him for even a moment. She slips her clothes to the ground and eases into the bath, bubbles fold around her in all the right places as she does. She's taken back by the next question and takes a moment to answer it. "Oh, um. Like when we were together or after?” she asks, but doesn't pause long enough to answer. "Neither. I don't know how to describe it other than weird. I think he expected after we broke up that we would, but it always felt like cheating.”

[theo lovett]

There's a pleading note to her voice that makes him feel needed, something he wanted to be more than anything. Being orphaned had made him feel rootless, a feeling he had spent the rest of his life to date trying to rectify. It's why his friendships were so intense, and why Oliver's betrayal stung so much. "Oh, um. Like when we were together or after?” For a fleeting second his stomach drops, assuming that a bombshell was coming. A tidal wave of relief washes over him when it doesn't. Theo pulls the towel from his head, leaving his hair sticking up at all angles as he moves to sit beside the tub. "I expected it too," he says, his back to the side of the tub. "I'm glad you didn't. I know what you mean though, I've been going on Hinge dates and it hasn't stopped feeling weird."

[dolly weathers]

Dolly puts her arm across the side of the tub and rests her cheek against it. She had expected sleeping with other people to help get over their relationship, but it only made her feel chewed up. She'd wake up next to strangers with her head pounding, discomfort itching all over her body. "I'm glad it didn't,” her eyes watch him as he talks about moving on, the idea of him actually succeeding at it makes her ill. She coils a piece of his short hair around her damp finger and lets it slip away, "do you think we loved each other?”

[theo lovett]

Thoughts swim round his head. Thoughts of her with other guys, of girls he'd made out with trying to get over her... thoughts of Elyse. He's not sure what's happening but he loves the feeling of her fingers in his hair, another thing he had missed since their split. He mulls over her question. "I was on the way to it, I think." It had always been difficult to imagine a future between the two of them, if only because he was so out of place in her world. Where could they possibly end up? Living in some mansion her family owned? Or would she have to play poor? It was impossible to think of what that compromise would look like. "My friends weren't sold though. Not because of you, they liked you, but your family."

[dolly weathers]

She makes another ringlet in his hair, the soft strands falling from her fingers. There was so much unknown within their future and so many differences. She couldn't even load a dishwasher, she had never had to worry about paying rent. But the expectations of family seemed to rise the older she became and now she felt defiant. "Bit of Romeo and Juliet,” she comments, understanding completely where is friends were coming from. "I think sometimes your family doesn't have to be blood related though. I mean look at little Willie."

[theo lovett]

"How's the bath, not too hot?" Theo could sit here forever, the heady smell so reminiscent of her skin as they climbed into bed for the night. There was a lot of their relationship that just worked, and if left to their own devices, he's sure they would still be together and happy right now. He laughs at the mention of the cat, though he agrees wholeheartedly about chosen family. "Welcome to the rest of your life, I guess. Time for you to get out there and meet people who really want the best for you."

[dolly weathers]

"You should come try it,” she teases, placing her warm hand on his so he can gage the temperature. When she thinks about what an actual family is, she thinks of sitcoms. Family is Malcolm in the Middle. Kooky parents and rambunctious pre-teen boys. The Weathers were some dry corporate version of family. She was sure that her father referred to her as a number behind closed doors. "Exciting,” she smiles nervously and dips deeper into the tub, her hair becoming damp. "Maybe I'll move to small town mid-west. A whole new Dolly."

[theo lovett]

Her hand is impossibly warm on his. Suddenly he's very aware of her naked form being just inches away from him. He clears his throat, shifting in place as he glances away. "Don't tempt me." He tries to picture her out in some small town, with a normal job, surrounded by normal people. The vision doesn't come. "I don't see that for you." Theo falls quiet again, trying to process the events of the day, trying to commit her exact words to memory so he could inevitably turn them over again and again once he was on his own. What did this mean for them? Did it change anything? He knows there are still big problems to work through. Did she even want to do that, or was he getting ahead of himself? He's been quiet for a while now so feels he needs to say something to break the silence. "This is all such a mess."

[dolly weathers]

She watches him get awkward and shift in his seat, then grow silent. He was right about the Mid-West, as he was right about most other things. The remembered in college how she would take quiet walks down suburban streets and watch women carrying on with their lives. Working women, pulling up their driveway with groceries in their arms. Mothers catching wild toddlers and saving them from dangers. She wondered how the future would play, where she'd end up and if it was with the man in this room. "I know, I'm sorry,” she apologizes again, pulling her arms into the tub and retreating into the water. "It's too much, I get it,” her heart feels heavy with guilt, "and if you don't want to do this again, I really do get it.”

[theo lovett]

The spell has broken and it's no longer possible to pretend that things were as they once had been. Guilt starts to stir in the pit of his stomach, the knowledge of the role he played in their break up weighing on him now that she's fully owned up to her part. He looks at the wall ahead of him, shaking his head slightly as she apologizes again. Her final point makes him turn to look at her, her hair dark now that it was wet. "Do you want to do this again?" A note of hopefulness creeps into his voice and he's embarrassed by it, not least because he's not entirely sure of what he wants.

[dolly weathers]

Her eyes meet his and she hesitates. There's a part of her that's embarrassed for dragging him back into this and that's ashamed that she could even ask that much. The scary part of their relationship was the stark differences of their lives, but those differences didn't seem to exist when it was moments shared by just the two of them. Though her family drama was more diabolical, the existence of them didn't need to threaten her family anymore. "Yes,” she nods, but nerves are etched all over her face, "but I don't want you to, just because you're a nice person.”

[theo lovett]

The confirmation surprises him even after all the regret she had already expressed. He can't help but laugh at her follow up, turning to face her. "You think I'd be in a relationship just to be nice?!" Slipping an arm on the edge of the tub, he rests his chin on it and continues to look at her. He feels sick with what he has to say, a realization that had only come to him when he'd had to apologize for it. He glances away, pulling at a loose thread on the seam of his sweatpants. "I do have feelings for Elyse. I'm not gonna act on them, but I'm not gonna lie to you about it."

[dolly weathers]

She grins under the bubbles, "I think you'd fall into one by accident and be too nice not to get out of it." She watches him at the edge of the tub, the laugh wrinkles falling from his eyes as he grows more serious then turns away. His next words make her heart drop. She'd spent a good few months thinking that she was silly to believe his brother and the neighbours; that her brain had blown things out of proportion. She now feels incredibly vulnerable in this space, her body sinking even deeper and the point of her nose touching the cooling water. "You should take care of that."