. pensándote

[benicio otero]

Benicio & Adriana

adri Im coming back rn can I have some more money Beno Give me my food first.

CURRENTLY: At Rauw Alejandro (MAIN STAGE)

adriana

Adriana Batista flounced about the fairground with her accompanying friends, tipping back sugary cocktails and searching for incognito celebrities among the crowd, clutching to her own coveted artist pass. She skipped back to the stage she had last left Benicio at, a greasy box steaming in hand, greeting familiar security and stagehands as she looked for her brother. “Helloo,” she called out impatiently, tugging on her lip as she balanced her phone in her free hand, manicured thumb dancing across the screen. Deciding to take another bragging selfie with the equipment backstage, she saw the moment two unfamiliar faces were captured in her camera, spinning around to the strange girls with a curious, appraising glance. “If you’re looking for Raúl, he’s not out yet,” she warned after the crunch of an empanada from her lips, hopping to sit on a nearby flight case, eyes back to her phone.

[rosie de la cruz]

CURRENTLY: AT RAUW ALEJANDRO (MAIN STAGE)

ROSIE

To the surprise of absolutely no one, festivals weren't Rosie's favorite place in the world. Crowded, loud and overwhelming, the shock of the invite alone had doubled when Nora'd mentioned where they came from, fading into a familiar mix of curiosity and frustration. It felt like another indirect way to get to her, something he'd likely never admit out loud, always selective with his words or responses. A puzzle all his own at times, Rosie gently guiding Nora to the side stage entrance she'd spotted. Admittedly she'd been having a good time so far, content to enjoy the access and the shows, finally deciding they at least needed to say thank you after she'd poured over their quick conversation. Security quickly steps forward to wave them through, Rosie fiddling with the fabric wristband cinched on her wrist, eyes drifting to try to loosen it before rising to realize she was in frame in a photo. Quickly darting out of the way, a soft “sorry,” automatic out of her lips before she glimpses the girl again. Clocking a familiarity, even if she knew she'd never met her. “Actually we're looking for Beni-...um, Otero?” She scans the backstage quickly, the massive stacks of equipment cases and wires running everywhere to the massive stage. Not catching a glimpse of him she turns back, trying to place the girl once more. “Do you know if he's back here? Just wanted to say thank you for something.”

[benicio otero]

CURRENTLY: At Rauw Alejandro (MAIN STAGE)

adriana

The girls are beautiful so she’s not surprised that they’re backstage, no doubt the eye candy or arm piece of a headliner with artist passes like her own. But as she studies them a bit more, hearing Rosie speak, she realizes they are slightly out of place after all. Then she hears the name of whom they are searching, eyes widening in recognition. “Oh, Benicio? Join the club,” she laughed, brushing the crumbs off her lap, wary of being told off by a nosy stagehand. This poor girl already looked nervous enough, Adriana forgetting to mention an important detail: “That’s my brother. He’s around here somewhere.” Checking her phone for any updates from him but hard-pressed to hunt him down, she shot him another message before turning back to the girls. “Empanada?” she asked, gesturing to the open box to be delivered to him. “I’m Adriana, by the way,” she finally introduced, tongue curiously devoid of the same accent as her brother.

[rosie de la cruz]

CURRENTLY: AT RAUW ALEJANDRO (MAIN STAGE)

ROSIE

The energy around the rest of backstage was surging, techs monitoring light panels and corporate team members radio'ing back and forth about requests and fixes. Rosie assumed it was twice as chaotic in front of the stage, the shrieks and clipped, ecstatic Spanish catching her attention before the girl's answer drifted into familiarity. It's when she mentions that Benicio's her brother that it clicks into place, the familiar features and settled comfort she seemed to have in big places. “Oh,” Rosie returns, flicking a quick glance at Nora before she leaned against one of the towering box stands. “I'm alright,” Rosie defers, tipping the bottle of Modelo she remembered she had in her hand before taking a big swig. Remembering what Beni had said about his younger sister when she confirms her name, simultaneously curious what he'd said about her as she dares hers. “Rosie,” she says, before signaling to her friend whose head was buried in her phone. “This is Nora. Nice to meet you.”

[benicio otero]

CURRENTLY: At Rauw Alejandro (MAIN STAGE)

adriana

Although Adriana would rather be out on the grounds, it was a nice reprieve from the crowds and excitement to tuck away behind the scenes. She had never known how much went on backstage before tagging along with Benicio, persuading him over the years to grant her exclusive passes so she could meet the people he worked with. Benicio was still her regular old brother after all, despite his adjacency to the fame enjoyed by his many collaborators—like the one taking to the stage later. “He should be here soon. For these,” she nodded to the food, savoring a last bite of hers. When the girl says her name, Adriana blinks her surprise, a subtle smirk sent to her lips. She remembered a Rosie being mentioned but had no idea to expect her as a guest today. “Nice to meet you. You both are so pretty, I love the looks,” she smiled to the women, finally putting her phone down now that her interest was piqued. “How do you know my brother?”

[rosie de la cruz]

CURRENTLY: AT RAUW ALEJANDRO (MAIN STAGE)

ROSIE

It was interesting to see just how much their elements differed. Rosie's focused on numbers and time-sensitive requests, competitive spirit and calculated drive. Benicio's was collaborative and transient, passion projects coming to life and inspiring or exciting thousands of others. On paper it was easy to see which was more glamorous but Rosie liked what she liked, still incredulous at times when he would explain how his latest projects came to life. Something like this at least had a little more structure but her wariness remained, raising even further as she clocked the immediate recognition in Adriana's features. All to aware of a sister's mind, the compliment that felt like she was suddenly being circled. “Fun to play dress up now and again,” Rosie laughs, running a hand through her curls as her eyes drift down again. She'd borrowed the denim playsuit from Nora, along with the swath of gold jewelry that ringed her hands, wrists and neck. Honestly the only thing hers were the vintage work boots, the difference in shoe size the only major downfall between the girls when they roomed together in college. Rosie looks to Nora again but watches her finger come up, walking away to take a phone call. Likely to be about her family she can only nod, suddenly alone and fully expecting the next question that quickly followed from Adriana's smile. "We'd been seeing each other,” Rosie decides, choosing to avoid the semantics and millions of ways that it could be described. The word complicated drifts up but it's not a fair description on his end, Rosie choosing to settle on top of one of the boxes when it seemed like they'd be waiting a minute. “But I had some things to personally sort out so I don't really know what to call it now. Honestly he invited my best friend,” Rosie motions to Nora, hand animated in the air as she paced back and forth on her phone, “and gave her extra passes. She brought me, and I think he knew she would.” The honesty feels good, feet swinging mindlessly now that they were off the ground as she pulled from her memory. “Nursing student, right? In Boston?”

[benicio otero]

CURRENTLY: At Rauw Alejandro (MAIN STAGE)

Adriana

The girls are a surprising, intriguing sight that briefly excuses her from the obligations to her friends waiting out in front of security with their lowly passes. Only a few years apart in age but Adriana feels like she’s looking at true, put-together women, curious about their backstories, especially with the gaps to be filled in about Rosie. Due to age and proximity she was closer to their brother Diego, while Monica and Benicio could say the same. They were fitting pairings, considering the balance of temperaments and quirks. But Benicio was the older son, the hero of the family for his career determination and success. And even now, the topic of conversation. “So you’re the girl he’s been writing songs about,” she said, putting it together out loud. Surprised by Rosie’s candor, she appreciates how easy the conversation is and wonders how such a girl came into the orbit of her brother. At her theory, Adriana laughed heartily into the rim of her drink. “That’s embarrassingly Beno. He thinks he’s so slick,” she added, rolling her eyes at her brother’s antics. Of course only Monica knew the extent, but there was no lack of stories about her brother’s grandiose affections. “Just tell him he’s stupid sometimes, it’s the only way he learns,” she snickered, using their vantage point to glance at the stage for changes. “Graduate as of last month!” she sang, doing a little celebratory dance from her perch. “But that’s mee,” she hummed, delighted that she was spoken about. “Now professional mooch hoping my brother will still pay my rent.”

[rosie de la cruz]

CURRENTLY: AT RAUW ALEJANDRO (MAIN STAGE)

ROSIE

Rosie can't stifle her surprised laugh, appreciating that her honesty had been met in turn, even unintentionally. “Guess so,” she breathes, dropping her shoulders in an exaggerated shrug. Though he'd never told her outright it wasn't much of a stretch, music such a big part of his way of living life. Pouring emotions into lyrics was likely cathartic to him, and she knew she'd given him a lot to mull over. Even now they didn't seem to be on even footing but she could balance, and that was good enough for her. “Women are just always a step ahead,” she laughs again, angling her body a little closer to Adriana. She seemed to have a similar spirit to her brother, bright and unfazed, bouncing from blunt advice to a shimmy celebration in the blink of an eye. Always in motion too, something Rosie caught on to as she slowly relaxed her posture. “Congratulations,” she says warmly, going to click their drinks together in celebration until she realized Adriana didn't have one. “Do you want a drink?” It's naturally her next question, gaze sweeping the backstage area for a PA to flag down for her request before she nods her head knowingly. “Family seems to go a long way with him, you've got a good shot. What do you think he's doing, anyway?”

[benicio otero]

CURRENTLY: At Rauw Alejandro (MAIN STAGE)

adriana

There was the girl who existed in vague lyrics and secondhand stories, and then there was Rosie in front of her. Adriana took inventory of what she sensed so far: demure, even-keeled, reserved but present. In the same vein, she could also count the many ways she was surprising. Adriana had not expected such an interesting reunion to take place, as Benicio had made no mention of accompanying friends, her gaze briefly flickering down to the same artist passes. The offer of another drink surfaces and Adriana eagerly accepts, enthused by Rosie’s seamless navigation backstage. On the topic of her brother, she blew an errant hair from her face. “He’s running around pretending he’s the boss,” she teased, her phone vibrating with a message. “He kicked me out a little while ago, turned me into his DoorDasher. I just wanted to see Rauw! I think he’s so hot.”

CURRENTLY: At Rauw Alejandro (MAIN STAGE)

Benicio

The first two days of the festival were made a blur once the third day broke. Over the weekend Benicio had floated across the grounds, making his rounds between the stages to visit various artists and their teams, most of whom he did not know. With ease he interacted with staff and press, donning a hat and sunglasses around the clearing he wandered with groups of friends or girls he met, chilled drink in hand. Of course the Latin stage was his main priority, having frequently collaborated with the headliner. Today Benicio was drifting backstage, mingling with artists between sets, watching the behind-the-scenes magic happen in real time. He valued the engineers and technicians and stagehands just as much as the artists, simply wanting everything to go well, especially for his music to sound as he remembered producing it in the studio. His phone buzzed with his sister’s messages, unwilling to abandon his post to visit the food trucks and having sent her out on his behalf (with his cash). Rounding a corner to see her perched atop a roadcase, he whistled in her direction—and encountered another set of eyes. “Adri,” he trilled, eyes dipping over Rosie then snapping over to where Nora was pacing on the phone not far away. “Hola,” he greeted habitually, coming to a stop in front of their perches, hands on his hips appraising them. "What's this? Having fun up there?"

[rosie de la cruz]

CURRENTLY: AT RAUW ALEJANDRO (MAIN STAGE)

ROSIE

“He's making you work for it,” Rosie comments, familiar with the sibling debt scenario. Growing up her and Ben had traded enough favors to forever 'owe' each other something, requests often coming at the worst of times but dutifully responded to out of the love for one another. It's amusing to see it outside of her own blood, lips turning quietly into their own private smile as she studied the dusty laces of her shoes again. A sharp whistle sounds from down the way, focus quickly turned in its direction in recognition. Rosie tamps down the stray, anxious thoughts that drift toward the surface, the great unknown of where they'd left things still lingering in the wake of the last time they'd seen each other. But she was a vault, and he was professional, and likely neither wanted his sister to witness anything callous, smile only widening at his remark. “Might be the tallest I'll ever be, wanted to see what it was like up here,” she lofts, feet kicking back out in a show of her smaller frame. Captured in the dark of his gaze again the nerves start melting, remembering that he'd always been about a good time and it wouldn't stop now. Especially at the expense of his sister, tipping her head at her new acquaintance. “She said you're bossing people around.”

[benicio otero]

CURRENTLY: At Rauw Alejandro (MAIN STAGE)

Benicio

“You whistle just like dad,” Adriana ribbed as Beno materialized, tracking his braided head until he stood before them, looking small and flustered from their vantage point. After seeing and hearing nothing from Nora over the weekend, Benicio was certain that he wouldn’t encounter the girl or learn of her accompanying guests. Of course he knew the chances that she would opt to bring Rosie—despite the distance they were trying to force between themselves—but seeing her in person was always something else entirely, facing the consequences of his own actions. He tries not to dwell on the sight of her, attention turned toward his mischievous sister…though he was glad it was this one and not the oldest. At Rosie’s comment, his face split with a wry smile. “Somebody has to.” His open palm waited for his food, to which Adriana also held out hers. “No funny business,” she warned, relinquishing the empanadas as soon as more bills found her grip. “A real introduction to my sister, huh?” Benicio ribbed, playfully tugging on her ankle dangling near him. “Thank youu,” she sang, hopping down from her perch and pocketing the money. Noticing the missing empanada, Benicio gestured his annoyance at her. “I was hungry,” she defended, tempted to reach for another (or blame Rosie for it) but decided against it, taking the cue to disappear. “Rosie, it was nice to meet you. I hope we can keep talking later,” she said to the brunette, drink raised in thanks. "Vete, go," he called after her, shooing her. Glancing over at a still-busy Nora, Benicio wavered in front of Rosie, amused by their artificial height difference. There were cables dangling around his neck over his shoulders, hyper-focused on tasks backstage that had only now been derailed by this unexpected company. "Are you enjoying yourself?" he asked, always an important question when it came to her lately and whatever was happening to explode her life.

[rosie de la cruz]

CURRENTLY: AT RAUW ALEJANDRO (MAIN STAGE)

ROSIE

Rosie swigs at her beer again as the siblings banter, tracking Nora’s increasingly hostile pacing from her higher vantage point. Maybe she was tearing Dean down for his latest endeavors or arguing about updates related to her mother, a strange juxtaposition to the teasing love on display in front of her. Rosie finally tunes in enough to offer a warm smile back to Adriana, holding up what was left of her beer in cheers as she departed. “Nice to meet you,” she says airily, words slowly drifting into the air as the realization they were alone set in. Rosie quickly spares another glance at Nora before steadying herself, hands balanced on the edge of the case as she leaned forward. “I am,” she answers honestly, having enjoyed the weekend for what it was. Easy, mindless fun, bright eyes drifting up and over the cables dangling from his neck. Reaching out to gently untangle one from the loop of a necklace she grins again, ultimately content her chosen seat. “We came to say thank you, for the passes. It’s been a fun weekend - different to see what goes on back here,” her hands lift to signal the area they existed in, bodies now drifting up and down to the stage area as they prepped for the next show. Her head signals to the rising voices, hearing his name called in the crowd. “Don’t let us keep you if you’re needed.” Curious to see him in his own space, nursing the last of her drink as the excitement began to heighten from the crowds just behind the platforms.

[benicio otero]

CURRENTLY: At Rauw Alejandro (MAIN STAGE)

Benicio

It’s a strange collision of worlds, not having planned for the two girls to meet. There’s familial comfort with Adriana and then a tentative ease with Rosie, but suddenly they’re left alone together in her wake. Benicio remembered the last time he saw her, saying goodnight from Nora’s doorstep, leaving empty-handed and out of secrets. Months of dates thinning out to weeks of tension, confessions, pleas. Each opportunity to see her was wrapped in mystery, their surroundings changing, moods fraught, every word a gamble. So focused on his next moves that he’s easily disarmed when she reaches out, so close to him, and he’s dismayed to realize he is still under her spell. “You’re welcome,” he returns easily, happy to see her here. And always surprised, though certain she would have declined had the invitation come from him. Nora was their glue lately, seeming to mediate between them—a fact Benicio was still reluctant to admit to orchestrating in the first place. “I’m glad you came,” he said, patting the side of the case she sat on. “Hopefully we’re even now,” he added, tossing one last glance toward Nora. He hears his name sound elsewhere, Spanish chatter in the background. A changeover will happen soon and they have to be ahead of it. Looking back at Rosie, his dark gaze washed over her. “I won’t tell you to get down from there but someone else might,” he mentioned, backing away with a wave as he disappeared back to action.

[rosie de la cruz]

CURRENTLY: AT RAUW ALEJANDRO (MAIN STAGE)

ROSIE

It’s a thrill to exist in a place so temporary. To watch producers zip back and forth between stage right and left dragging instruments and adjusting show lights and inciting crowd hysteria the longer the clock hinted at the show’s beginning. As if everyone was holding a collective breath, energy humming in their fingertips until a familiar beat drifted over speakers, spotlights drifted up and into place, and the screams that let us sent her and Nora both scrambling for a view. It doesn’t slow down from there. Fans sway back and forth in the tightly packed crowd, those in the back enjoying the space to dance and sing to their favorite songs as they emit through the mics. It’s a nonstop party that they’ve stepped into, surrendering to the beat and the glances she’d catch from across the way, cares dissipating until the final notes lingered in the air. It’s when the rush dies that she carefully picks up the pieces, shaking out her curls and swiping the shine from her features at the comedown. Rosie grips Nora’s hand as the teams start to scatter from backstage, presumably on to the next show or after party as she tugs her friend in the direction of the exit. Only stepping away from the current she spotted Benicio cutting through the crowds. “What a great show, major congrats to everyone,” she breathes, still feeling the tremor of the bass in her heart as she wavered temporarily, eventually turning to spill back into the festival grounds. “Thanks again., Beni.”

[benicio otero]

CURRENTLY: At Rauw Alejandro (MAIN STAGE)

Benicio

It’s the first time that Rosie gets to see him like this. She had visited the studio before or woken up to him late night on a laptop in bed next to her, but not yet seen the scale of his music being used. The people he knew, the lyrics he helped to write, the sounds that came from his mind. They often jested about the other’s focus on their work, turning them into slightly altered versions of themselves: pinned-up, refined, serious. Rosie’s demeanor already fell that way, but it was almost a jarring change in Benicio, opposite to his usual nature when he was plugged in, boots to the ground. But then it’s finally happening—the music is alive, the crowd is electric, and he still prefers it all from the stage or just behind it, joining Rauw for an appearance in front of the audience. Now he can relax, knowing it has been successful. Yet he only feels the eyes of someone waiting in the wings, unable to shake Rosie from his periphery as she lingered backstage, setting his thoughts into chaos. Focus on her for too long and she would shy away, disappear, leaving him perplexed and frustrated; a mirage in the desert, gone just when you think you've reached it. Still so aloof despite paying him a visit in the first place when they could have gone the weekend without seeing him at all, anonymous recipients of his passes. A stage transition creates a flurry of bodies in two different directions, yet she manages to find him just as he thought of searching for her. He reads her lips as he took out his in-ears, smile betraying him before his gratitude can. He wants to thank her but she’s already primed to leave, always opposing his timing. “Come have a drink with me on your tower,” he offered, having to close some distance to be able to hear each other. “I barely got to see you.”