. give up the ghost

[athena mccarthy]

She rests her head on his bare skin and her arms hold him close to her. She'd always felt like he had this way of pouring radiance into her. Even when she was a naturally charismatic person, he made her glow feel authentic. She kisses the crook of his neck and laughs softly when he speaks. They were different person. Julian saw the fire and knew he should stay away, where as Athena wanted to go and jump in. "Tried that," she reminds him, pulling from his embrace and wiggling herself up to sit on the counter. "Remember how bored you were? Me?" she runs her hands alongside his fuzzy face, "I was so bored. So bored, so incomplete." Her hands sit on his shoulder and she gives him a serious look, "fate. That's what we are. You know it and no matter what we do, it's going to keep coming back."

[Deleted]

Many years ago, Julia Cadieux-Buchanan had expressed something that her son was only now beginning to realize was correct. They had been sat at family dinner when his brother had mentioned Athena's uncle, and for the first time that day, Julian had looked up and joined the conversation. Julia had rolled her eyes, muttering under her breath in French: "One mention of the name McCarthy and here he is. For as long as you live Julian, you will always be under that girl's spell." Looking at the girl in question as she sat on his kitchen counter, he knew it to be true. Instinctively he tries to resist what she's saying, but he knows that to be true too. "Incomplete is a good word. I don't know who I am without you. I love you, always have, always will."

[athena mccarthy]

"How's Julian" was a question her parents had asked as regularly as how work was going. Even those long years when they weren't talking her father had still managed to squeeze the question in. It had annoyed her when she was trying hard to distance herself, and annoyed her even more when she brought home a boyfriend for them to meet. Athena's legs pull him in and give his sides a squeeze, "you're afraid that isn't enough, aren't you?" Her fingers knead into his muscles like she pressed the dough, "I just don't really see it working with anyone else. Everyone is so boring."

[Deleted]

Her fingers press into his skin and it feels so good, easing tension out of his body with every push. It seemed stupid now, how completely opposed to this relationship he was. He had over intellectualized it, going over every inch of it and deciding that it was childish to want to be together still, that he was looking at it through rose tinted glasses whenever he missed it. With her legs wrapped around him and her skin on his, it all boiled down to one thing: she made him happy. He laughs. "I'm the most boring, you're being contrarian. But no, it's enough. Don't you think?"

[athena mccarthy]

She leans back to frown at him, her finger raises and she flicks his long nose, "you are not boring. Stop think that you are." And she means it. Ever since she first noticed him in fifth grade she thought he was the most interesting boy in the world. She was so fixated on him that she had to go up and bother him for an eraser, then keep bothering him into a relationship. "Yes, but sometimes you make it seem like it's not enough." She looks at him for an answer. In the past they'd been so certain and maybe she was the one making it doubtful, maybe it wasn't him at all. "I love you too, by the way. I can't believe I said I didn't, I'm such a bad liar. Did you think I didn't?"

[Deleted]

He flinches as his nose is flicked, laughing again. It was strange for him to laugh as much as this, he had probably laughed as much tonight as he had in the last few months combined. He's quiet as he contemplates what she said. It's true, that was ultimately his issue. There were moments where he doubted his love, or her love, or both, but in the rare moments he allowed himself to believe it, he hadn't allowed himself to believe that it was enough. "Maybe it won't be, but there's only one way to find out." He kisses her again, before a slow grin spreads across his face. "Not really. At least, not when you said it."

[athena mccarthy]

He sounds so sure of himself and hearing that reassurance makes her plump lips spread into a smile. She found him so stubborn, but in cases where it benefited her she found it to be a quality rather than a flaw. She kisses him back, "I had to delete the fight off my phone. It made me so mad. So cringy," her nose wrinkles and she laughs at herself, thinking of how easy it had been to get to this moment when they were face to face. "You don't have to tell your mom either. I really just want you and the bacon tarts."

[Deleted]

He imagines her re-reading the fight and deleting it in a fit of embarrassment. She was so much more emotive than him and he loved that about her, her impulsiveness. At least, most of the time he loved it. There was no one else he would end up shirtless with, making pastry with, laughing with like this. She brought a lightness into his life that proved irresistible whenever they were in the same room. "Oh there's plenty more bacon tarts in your future," he says, grinning into another kiss. His hands rest on her thighs. "Stay over?"

[athena mccarthy]

She runs her hands gently down his bare chest, her fingers feeling the soft bumps of his abs. While everyone's physical (and mental) health had regressed, Julian seemed to remain as fit as ever. It was a reflection of who he was, committed and habitual. She kisses him back, tearing away to obviously stare at the fridge, "okay, but how soon into my future?" She kisses him again, her heart feels so full that it might explode. "You're not afraid I'll crash your work day?" she kisses his cheek and squeezes him with her thighs, "yes, but I'm going to ruin your morning."

[Deleted]

Julian shakes his wrist before he checks his watch, a Cartier Santos that, unlike most of his expensive possessions, he actually had real affection for. His expansive watch collection was a rare genuine indulgence, and he loved them all for their precision, and all the craftsmanship that went into them. A watch was a precise and methodical thing, somehow neat, so naturally they appealed. "You've got another half hour to wait at least." He smirks into the kiss, raising an eyebrow as he breaks away. "Is that so? I've got court first thing... I'll insist my camera isn't working."

[athena mccarthy]

Athena scowls and folds her arms dramatically, "a half hour!?" That was the thing about Athena - she was impatient and she didn't even realize it. She expected things to move so much more quickly than they actually did. "Online court?" She's curious about lawyer Julian, could he get more serious than regular Julian? "Sounds super fun. I have nothing tomorrow, so it's my official job to annoy you," she tickles his ribs and grins. "Come make out on the couch. It could use a little loosening."

[Deleted]

"I gave you faster options," he says, holding his hands up in surrender to her entirely predictable reaction. "Mhmm," he says, running his hands up and down her thighs, enjoying the feeling of her body through her clothes. "I still have to suit up and everything, fucking stupid. From the waist up, at least. You have to stay completely silent and off camera," he warns, shooting her a look. "You don't need to ask me twice," he says, leaning in to kiss her deeply. He pulled her off the counter, easily lifting her and carrying her over to the too-hard couch.

[athena mccarthy]

"You gave me pasta," she cries, "I had mac and cheese for lunch already!" Her fingers play with his belt loop and kisses the center of his chest as he rubs her denim thighs. "I don't think that'll be an issue... you keeping cool waist down might be your issue," she teases with her lips twisted into a smirk as she kisses him back. She's pulled from the counter and dumped on the grey couch. She pulls him on top of her and tilts her head up on the pillow. "I can let everything go with you," she blinks up at him and her fingers brush his dark hair. "It feels so complicated when we fight, but it's really so simple.

[Deleted]

"You could have said so," Julian says matter of factly, knowing there was no point pushing for reason when she was feeling impatient but doing so anyway. He glances down at her, finding it hard to believe that her diet didn't seem to have an impact on her weight-- if he so much as looked at mac and cheese he would already be calculating how many sit ups to do to compensate. He groans at the mental picture she's painting, knowing she's unlikely to be bluffing. "I'm gonna regret this aren't I?" he says with a grin, kissing her back. He lies across her, taking her in, looking at her intently as he tries to absorb as much of the moment as he can. "Let's stop fighting, alright?"

[athena mccarthy]

She shakes her head and laughs, "no, no. I don't think so... well, maybe. It depends on if you're on the good guy's side or the bad guy's." Laywer Julian. She's afraid that she'll hate him for his job, so she's never asked much about it. She imagines he's two different people, much like she is. The person the world sees and the person she gets to see. She's never sure about the one the world sees. She continues to brush his dark hair with her slender fingers, the act of it rhythmic and calming. "Easier said than done," she comments, her hand running down his back and settling. "I'll do something dumb like comment on our sex life, and you'll get annoyed at it, then I'll pick at you and we'll explode. But then you'll offer to cook and I'll forget how to bother you for a second," she tells her story with a small smile, remembering how miserable they were apart and how good they were at sewing themselves back together.